Someone actually called me fat...

So yesterday was the first time in my life that I was called fat to my face.  It honestly could not have been worse timing for my self-esteem.  I just started counting like crazy again last thursday and I have been doing AWESOME, only two setback which was only about 600 calories worth...so for me...I was on a roll.  Then yesterday, one of the indivuduals on my team (who I manage) called me THICK.  I HATE THAT WORD! I made a comment about loving PB&J's while I was eating my lunch and she said, "well no wonder you are thick".

When I got to work this morning I was pretty much over that comment and was feeling shakey but still pretty good. THEN...IT HAPPENED AGAIN!  Another girl who I manage looked at me and then looked at a co-woker and said, "Doesn't she look like she is getting bigger"  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE!  I'm 5'8" and 165---which is heavy for me, but still...who the heck do these people think they are!  Of course I went straight into my office and started crying...

I'm trying to talk myself out of this negitive pattern of putting myself down...but how the heck are you supposed to do that when other people are telling you that you're fat!!!! 

Okay...I just needed to get that out...there's my RANT for the month! Now I'm going to keep eating healthy and trying to stay positive--oh and I'm going to remember exactly how that felt when someone said that to me so that I NEVER say anything that could hurt someone like that!!!

Rach, they're probably just jealous, mean little people.  They probably wish they had your self-discipline and was putting you down to make themselves feel better.  Pay them no mind.

Some people are so rude and don't bother to think before they speak.  It sounds like you have been doing an amazing job , just keep up the good work and ignore them!!

Well, she may have said you are "thick" but I think she is the "thick" one, as in thick as a brick mentally speaking.

Remember, you are doing the right thing for yourself, and, as the late, great Richard Feinman said "What do you care what they think?".

Also, you are the same height as I am, and your current weight is pretty darn close to my goal.  Take care of yourself, and don't internalize their thoughtless comments.

OMG, I cannot believe someone would actually say that!

If they ever do anything like that again, please please please, instead of going to your office and crying, say, "excuse me?!" in a very bitchy tone, and then ream theme the f out.

I feel like some people just need to be shamed for their inappropriate behavior, and after that they will not do it again. Do not let them get away with that.

Also, congrats on doing such a good job sticking to your diet :)

wow....that's crazy.  especially from people that report into you.  i would never say that to anyone to begin with, but saying it to my manager seems like it would make it way worse. 

i know it's hard to do, but try not to let it get you down.  staying positive isn't easy...but you are doing it, and that is fantastic!!  sometimes people say really stupid things without thinking.  they are clearly missing that filter that everyone should have. 

Congrats on starting your new lifestyle.

The next time someone comments on a non-work related issue, you just say 'And how exactly does your comment relate to work?'

you guys are great....

Thank you so much for the encouragement! People can be so MEAN! 

Haha to them...I took the rest of the day off to work on me....

I'm going to keep counting and being healthy and maybe in 10 years I will look back at this and laugh!

It just goes to show that perspective is a strange thing. I'm 5'8" and 161 and these days I think of myself as "slim" and I'd laugh at anyone who called me thick.

Good for you for taking charge of your eating habits and taking care of yourself. Don't let rude jerks derail you.

Original Post by dreadfulpenny:

It just goes to show that perspective is a strange thing. I'm 5'8" and 161 and these days I think of myself as "slim" and I'd laugh at anyone who called me thick.

I agree! I would never think of someone with those stats to be fat. These b-words sound extremely jealous. Your pictures are beautiful. I realize they're not current but I find it hard to believe you look too much different. Girls love to hate on other girls to make ourselves feel better. Haters are your biggest fans in disguise. :)

That's crazy!  Do people just not know how to act anymore?

My husband "accidentally" called me chubby once.  We were playing around, poking/tickling each other and calling each other silly names like "poopoo head" or "dorkface" and other silly things and all of a sudden "Chubby!!!" pops out of his mouth.  He immediately realized what he had done and started apologizing (even he knew that somehow that crossed some imaginary line of appropriateness).  Now, I wasn't terribly offended because I knew we were just being silly but for some reason it did hurt ...way down deep.  I played if off as being "fake mad," punching him in the arm and stuff.  It eventually became a running joke, anytime I needed him to do me a favor he didn't want to do, I'd say, "Um, you called me chubby."  It became jokingly the unforgivable sin that he would paying for for the rest of his life.

As silly as all that is, there is some sort of real hurt in there too.  A part of me always wonders if he said that because he believes it on some level.  And this is what the dangerous road of low self-esteem looks like.

I know what you're saying Heather.  I suppose that is the part that worries me the most.  Why did it hurt SO bad?  Probably years of my mother telling me I need to lose weight because she was always 125 pounds!  Oh, and my aunts nickname for me "chubs" so I GET IT! 

I have never been that girl that walks away and cries in her office and I am glad I recognized how low it made me feel because now I can change it.

I think another big part of it was a, "WHO THE HECK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE" moment.  I am their manager and by most people's standards I'm a good one...yet they think they can talk to me that way.  I suppose that tells me that I need to respect myself a little more and other will follow suit! 

What the h*ll? Im looking at your pictures right now, you're at a perfectly normal weight. Are they serious?

Seems like some people just dont know how to act anymore.

I'd be a bit worried about comments like that.  Not because of your weight, that's fine and I think you look great.  But anyone that deliberately makes comments they know will bring you to tears is probably looking for your job.  Sounds like they need more work to keep them busy  ;)  I'd be afraid of losing my job if I ever made a comment like that to my boss. 

The next time someone comments on a non-work related issue, you just say 'And how exactly does your comment relate to work?'

I like this approach.  Be strong!  Don't let their hateful comments get to you.  Everyone has personal issues whether they are visable or not. 

Even better, threaten her with saying "Maybe you would like to make such comments to a different manager at a new work place?" :)

That will make the b*tch pipe down.

Haha...that would send them running into another room to call HR. But I LIKE it! 

Maybe I can just hire all of you to work with me so that I have only supportive and kind people there? Who wants to move to Virginia?

HR?

I would, but i live on the other side of the planet. LOL =D

Human Resources!  haha.

People can be awful. From the looks of your pictures your gorgeous, and even though its hard dont listen to them. I had a similar situation once, not at work but at school. Someone told me the only way that I could beat them at anything would be if I sat on the competition first. Ouch.

BUT it works great as motivation. I got to see said person a year or two later and it felt great to be like HA, not any more ****. Now I'm a babe and you cant get it ;)

But still. Keep up the good work, it sounds like your doing great! Other than having ridiculous coworkers of course.

You can be thin, but that doesnt mean your not a bitch, you probably have great personality, sadly some people are just downright rude, don't let them stop you from accomplishing your goals. and remember that how much you weigh does not matter, its who you are that matters and what you stand for~erica

That is soooo out of order! 

I can totally understand how hurtful those comments must have been (but honestly, you're the build and size that I can only dream of being), but talking of HR...being abusive in the office is never acceptable, let alone to your boss!!

I'd be going and talking to HR myself, about them!

Good luck in both your weight goals and your work!