Could someone please help me?

Hi. I am really new at this. I am a 13 year old girl that has an ED. I am currently 5'4 and weigh 94 pounds. I just started recovery a few weeks ago, and I don't know if I've gained any weight yet. I hate the way I look and feel. I am trying so hard to get better so I can swim, bike, and run again. I am consuming about 2000 cals a day and really don't like it. I know it's a necessary process, but I am cautious about gaining weight. If anyone could offer advice or support, that would be wonderful! Thank you in advance!! (My bare minimum goal weight is 102)

I would not focus on weight management until you are better.  When it comes to health your body is going to change a few times.  Just watch what you eat and when you are better you can keep with weight management.

Thanks! I am focusing on gaining right now,  but it is difficult with all the ED thoughts. It's really difficult because I stunted my growth through starvation and I've never got my period. I'm going through a rough time. Thanks again!

I'm 13 too, also recovering from an ED. Are you seeing a doctor to monitor your weight, or was your goal weight set my your parents or something? When I was only eating 2000 calories, I actually lost weight. I've had to up my intake to 3400 to see a decent gain. But that's just me, you'll have to play around with your own calorie intake to see what works for you. An easy way to add calories is by using oatmeal for breakfast. You can easily make a bowl have 500 or a thousand calories with milk, peanut butter, dried fruit, etc. And it doesn't actually seem like you're taking in that many calories, so it isn't as hard to eat as like, a slice of cheesecake with the same calories. I know it's so hard to ignore that ED voice, but you have to fight! My doctors tell me that it's lucky when they catch girls our ages with ED's, because they have really good chances of completely recovering and turning around their healths. Good luck!

Thank you so much. I am seeing a dietician and counselor. I've only been seeing them for about a month. They are starting it off gradually so its easier for me. I will probably bump up the calories the next time I see the dietician, which is this week. It is so nice to have people who understand what I'm going through. I can always talk to my parents, but they don't understand my mindset!

I am  13 and recovering from an ed too. I also love to exercise.(running, biking, swimming, volleyball, BASKETBALL, and soccer![anything active really]) I know that it is hard to gain weight. Trust me, I know how you feel! When I began recovery, I was eating around 2000 at the most. Then I upped it to my maintenance cals(although I do not count anymore) 2500. I did that for a few weeks and I felt great. I did that amount of calories until I felt more "comfortable" with starting the whole weight gain process. So then I upped my calories to 3000 and whatever I burned through exercise(throughout my recovery I exercised, all while gaining 20 pounds!) I added onto 3000. After a while of doing that, I started eating more than 3000. I would say around 4000. Now,  I no longer count calories. I have reached my weight goal and feel great! It was hard, but SO WORTH IT! I think that exercise is a great incentive for you to get healthy. I am going to stop now before you get tired of hearing what I have to say :)

P.S We are the same height as well. Although I was 5'3 during my worst parts of anorexia, now in recovery I have grown up to 5'4 in like two months.

Thanks so much!!!! I LOVE to run, bike, and swim. You sound just like me. I used to play basketball, but I hurt my knee so it wasn't really the best sport for me. I also got really into swimming and running. Your post was so inspiring. I am on bedrest right now and really hate it. I want to exercise again!!!!!!!!! I just hate it when I eat a lot and feel so bloated. Thanks for your advice. I just have to beat ED.

Goog luck to you! Being 13 is difficult - as you get older and more confident, it will be easier for you to feel comfortable in your own skin.

Have you tried roller blading? It is an excellent way to exercise, meet new people, spend time, and develop an appetite. It is easy on your knees, unlike most other sports.

You mentioned that you feel bloated when you eat 2000 calories a day. My suggestion would be to try and eat the foods you really enjoy, and drink lots of water. There's so much choice out there, there's got to be something that tastes good to you and makes you feel better.

 

I'm glad that you are trying to recover.  I'm 16 years old, and struggling with severe calorie restricting and bulimia.  I used to play ice hockey...it was basically my life...until my doctor took it away because she was afriad I would pass out on the ice.

Eating Disorders are hard.  It's a really sad thing that people must deal with stuff like this.

I'd give you advice...but I don't know how to word it... :(

And good luck!  I know you can do it. :)

 

we seem similar - i've been an inpatient on bedrest, and am now on minimal excercise. Even though I've only got 3.1kg left to gain. Next week my dietician dsaid we could takl about muscle and strength training! Can't wait to be allowed to excercise proper again.

Unfortuntaely, yes, the only way to do that is to play by their rules :(

All the best

Let me just say how proud I am of all of you. I'm 17 and just recently suffered from anorexia for a year. I don't know why, I've always been very slim due to genetics, and in no way needed to lose weight. But it's a mental thing and it just took over, I think mostly due to stress of my Junior year. At 5'4 1/2" my lowest weight got down to 82-83. I lost my period, and all energy and things I used to love more than anything, like hanging with friends, running, soccer, and other sports became hell. I became so rediculous that there were times I wouldn't even eat certain vegetables because the sugar content was too high! lol rediculous I know. I am now fully recovered and don't count calories. I've actually tried and can't because I lose count and forget what I had alreayd eaten and it's an amazing feeling. I look better now, at 110 give or a take a few, than I ever have. I wish nothing more though than to go back and have never had an ED, because i realize now how horrible I looked, the hell i put my boyfriend, now ex, through, and how much better my year would have beenif I could have stopped being stupid and noticed how amazing my body was when I had muscles from running, and couldn't put my small hands around my biceps easily. I know if I was in your position and reading this when I had an ED, I'd think about it but not be able to stop what I was doing to my body still, but PLEASEE try. One of the reasons i didn't want to gain weight was because I was worried I would get a large stomach all of a sudden adn look weird. I now know that that is not true at all. That's only from over eating and stretching your stomach out. If you eat colorie dense foods like peanut butter, meat, weight gaining shakes, etc. you will get the calories and not stretch out your stomach, so you will gain evenly all over and Look AMAZINGGGGG. Guys will notice, trust me and think your body is beautiful, as you should think all the time. Mirrors distort our images. If you can get your parent to take a picture of you with someone, a friend maybe, who doesn't have an ED but has a body you love.Later look at this picture and notice how skinny and weak looking you are compared to your friend. I wish I could have had that done for me, It qould have helped so much.

 

I'm sorry for writing so much, but it means so much to me for all of you to get better. I know I can only say these things and hope they sink in somehow, and not actually make you better, but trust me, Life is amazing when you have the energy to really laugh at your friends jokes, and chase your little brother around the yard, and score the winning goal during a championship soccer game. and hey, I made New Englands Track Meet a few months after recovering (on my own i never went to a doctor), and it was my first year of track since middle school! It's amazing what we can do when we're healthy, so eat up and go running! it builds muscle, which weighs more than fat! (Ive always gained weight when I run, but especially during recovery i gained a lot of muscle and it looked amazing!) And sorry lol, one more thing. Join a sport for school if you already havn't! because you HAVE to eat to have energy to play, and if you dont eat you'll let down your teammates, so that helped me a lot with recovery because i knew i HAD to eat.

God, I can't imagine going through the hell of an ED at only 13...beginning recovery is hard, but as time passes things WILL get easier especially if you make a point of fighting your ED thoughts everyday.  (Sometimes when I'm having the irrational/negative thoughts, I'll pretend to hear them from a funny voice like once from a cartoon, etc.; its weird I guess, but it sometimes helps me realize how ridiculous they are)

Also, remember that an eating disorder is a mental condition, and it often serves as a way of expressing a multitude of things about you.  Based upon my experience, and others that I've spoken to about it, it is a coping mechanism that stems from your life experiences, your personality traits, etc.  It is probably true that a number of things hurt you in the past, so as you recover, try to figure out what they are, b/c after you identify them, it might help you be able to deal with and move past these hurtful experiences in a way that your ED never can.

You all deserve to be happy and healthy!

( jessikkaa_x3: Join a sport for school if you already havn't! because you HAVE to eat to have energy to play, and if you dont eat you'll let down your teammates, so that helped me a lot with recovery because i knew i HAD to eat.

I definately agree with that! Right now I'm try to get my weight and BF% up to healthy level so I'll be able to compete in my school's cross country running team. If all goes well I'll be captain..^_^)

Thank you all so much!! Everyone is so supportive. This site has really helped me in my recovery!!!! It is really great to correspond with people who actually understand what fighting an ED is actually like.

Jessikkaa- I have always been very thin due to my genetics as well. (Both my parents are thin and HEALTHY) Thank you so much for your advice and inspiration.

Kate- Don't you just love cross country? It is my favorite sport, but right now I can't do it :( Life with ED just stinks. I am really hoping to be better by the fall! Thank you so much!