Something that bothers me...

I went to see Knocked Up, the movie the other night and I LOVED it.  It was hilarious.  The main character is promoted to on camera interviewer and her boss asks her to "tighten up".  She says, "so you want me to lose weight" and he says, "No we're not allowed to ask you to lose weight.  Just tighten up".

I know this is just a movie and it's meant to be funny, but it's sooo true.  People take "losing weight" far more seriously than they do "toning".  I have never been by definition a fat girl, but I've had my chubby moments, and even now at a healthy 115 lbs (I'm 5'2"), I still have a little chub in certain places that I'd like to get rid of.  I'm going to say this now so I'm not attacked... I do 30 minutes of cardio AND toning exercises 4 times a week, I'm not anorexic and I know to tone as well as do cardio.

My whole point is though, that when I tell my friend etc., that I want to lose weight they all freak out on me as if I've got some sort of eating disorder and I'm going to far... "you don't need to lose weight, you're great the way you are".  If I told they I was "toning up" it would completely different and I'd receive a lot of support, (I don't talk about fitness with my friends anymore to avoid the comments).

Why has our society, especially females made losing weight such a big deal, meant only for obese people?  Everyone always says, just eat healthily.. but they don't like it if you keep track of what you eat, because that's going too far. Toning is treat sooo differently... but it does the same thing! It makes your body smaller! It still changes how you look, but in a different way!  People who get angry at other for trying to lose weight because they "look fine" make no sense to me, because people tone up for the same reasons!

I feel like I'm not saying exactly what I mean, but I don't know how to say it.  Does anyone else get me?

You're 22...so many young women develop eating disorders around your age.

Most probably won't, but enough do that we're all sensitive to the idea.

Please, do tone up...you'll actually gain a few pounds, but they'll be in the right places. ;-)

Well....you do have a point but it's kind of like comparing apples to oranges.  The character in the film was being promoted to an on-camera position.  Anyone in that industry should be well aware that looks and weight are very important.  This isn't going to change any time soon, if ever.  It just comes with the territory. 

Anywho... It is definitely possible for someone at your height and weight to be a little flabby depending on your frame and fitness level.  I think envy and unconscious insecurity plays a big role in this behaviour whether people like to admit it or not.  I would focus mainly on weight training, of course.

I know what you mean.
I'm 18, 5'9" and 179.8 (as of today).
The thing is, I have huge thighs and butt, and a belly. My weight is causing knee problems because I used to be really athletic.
It's easier to say "I'm on a diet" or "I'm trying to lose weight" than to explain you're trying  to tone certain areas for your own benefit.
My friends all tell me I don't need to lose weight...and honestly, with jeans and a sweatshirt on I don't look overweight at all. It's summer time when it's an issue for me personally. ;)

I wouldn't worry about what other people say though. As long as you actually are healthy, which it sounds like you are, do what makes you happy.

I understand what your getting at.  But I think that when you're already at a low weight like 115 and you say I want to lose weight, it's more that it raises concerns on your health.  Take Nichole Ricci, Paris Hilton and the Olsen girls for example.  They're already so thin so if one of them were to start talking about losing weight, it would sound crazy. However - you're right - when someone your size starts talking about I want to tone these areas of my body because I feel like they're looking a little chubby/flabby.  That's a completely different issue.  Toning doesn't really make the number on the scale drop. Losing weight does.  So when you say i want to lose weight, that's like - I want to weigh 105 instead of 115.  If you say, I just want to tone my hips, buttocks and thighs - that's just saying that you want to work out to firm up those areas.

:):) It's all good! :)

There is nothing wrong with weighing 105 at 5'2" if you have a small frame!!!!  NOTHING. 

Actulaly "tightening up" will make you gain weight but lose inches! So to the scale you will be bigger but to the mirror and in reality you'll be smaller.

I never said there was anything wrong with being 105 at 5'2" tall.  If you look back, I never told the original poster that I though she was crazy.  I was using certain celebrities as an example. 

For me - 105 is a crazy number.  I weighed in today at 223 and that's a 22lb loss for me.  However, I'm 5'7" tall so a healthy weight for me is between 130 and 150lbs.

baby_creature: I appologize if it appeared I was telling you that being 105 was crazy. I did not mean it that way.

I agree with you 'smwhipple' that the teens and twenty's are sensitive times when girls do develop eating disorders even without realizing it. i think that toning is different than wanting to lose weight and becoming defensive or hiding your weight loss from your friends might be a sign that you have gone too far. just ask yourself when you think you would actually be happy with your body? is weight loss really required? how much smaller would you need to get to be happy, just try to be healthy and it will be all good like 'cjeka' said!

At this point - since I obviously don't have a clue what I'm talking about - I'm going to remove myself from this conversation. Sorry for the inconvenience I may have cause.  I should have learned my lesson by now to stay out of these forums.  I always end up ruffling someones feathers.

Sorry again. Have a great day!

cjeka - I wasn't referring directly to your statement.  I was just making a generalization. There are people out there that think that 105 is too low.  I was actually going to add that in before I read your post. ;-)

I didn't really want to start a discussion about myself and my weight... just more about issue of how it's ALL body image... weight loss decreases numbers, and toning sometimes increases numbers... But they're numbers.  The point is... someone trying to tone and someone trying to lose weight still have issues with they're bodies.  If they didn't they wouldn't be toning or losing.  The point I was trying to make is that the words seem to have different social meanings... I know they are different, but the social conintations that they carry are what bother me.

My friends are judgemental about everything... I don't talk to them about a lot of personal things because of it... not just fitness issues.

I don't think anyone's attacking me... but just look... weightloss vs toning comes up and everyone gets jumpy... and I'm a healthy person! That's why it bothers me... why does it matter what form of "body changing" you're using, if you're not an unhealthy weight.

I don't want to be unhealthily skinny, but why do I have to defend myself when the words "weight-loss" come up, as opposed to "toning-up".

I think it is hard to judge someone and tell them that they can't lose weight because most don't know each other's frame size or what that person's body actually looks like underneath the clothes.

I think that everyone has to watch the context of what they say if they don't want to get knee jerk reactions...yes, your friends ought to know better, but they're obviously not educated on this subejct. 

It has been such a struggle to gain a public awareness that self image can cause serious health problems that while I know it's annoying for you, I still think it is overall a good thing for people to be more aware.  If you mention that you're eating at McDonald's, people will look at you askance for the nutrition.

Your personal goals are truly none of anyone's business unless you choose to tell them.  I think that being physically fit is a much better focus than bars & boys...which is not to say what your focus truly is.

I wish that I had known at your age what I have learned from this site regarding weight loss and maintainence. I'm 33 and have spent the last 15 years sitting on my arse at desk jobs...so could have used this site!

Wow-I'm not small after having my first baby (a little girl) but I wasnt exactly a model before lol.  I always hated it when my "skinny" friends would say they needed to lose weight because I always thought they were rubbing it in my face.  Reading this made me realize that you're right.  We do focus on weight loss for people who are overweight.  But not everyone who wants to lose wieght or tone up are "fat".    I appreciate you speaking your mind. GOOD JOB!

I'm 17years old and weigh 137lbs at 5'11". I have lost weight (started out almost 160 from ridiculous binges) but now I am pretty happy with my body except for the jiggliness in my thighs. My friends as well don't see the need for me to improve my body, but I do. I actually do have the model-like figure and height that so many people envy but I can see where I should work for my own benefit. My endurance is nearly non existant and my muscles could use some work because I spent so long doing just yoga that my strength isnt the greatest.

Media really does focus on thinness but if you ever look at weight loss or fitness club ads it seems to be geared towards larger women. It's almost like some of us smaller folk who see a need for health improvements should be ashamed that we arent happy with our bodies. Knocked Up is an iffy example in the fact that she apparently lives on celery sticks, but in actuality the actress (cant recall her name) is a very healthy size 6 for her 5'9" frame. She dropped to a size 4 for the movie, but that is still a very reasonable size. I find that a big issue is the assumption that seems to be jumped to by so many people that slim people have to be doing something extreme in order to be that way. You see it in the assumptions that all models are anorexic or bulimic (though some are as is evident by that recent death as well as the frightening bones of some girls) but others eat perfectly healthily and are active. Gemma Ward is a volleyball and surfing junkie, Jessica Stam grew up on a farm with 6 brothers and worked plenty, Agyness Deyn is active but eats alot of traditional british meals (eg beans on toast) Tabloids seem to go insane any time a picture is taken of any celeb that makes them look really small (plus photoshop enhances that ALOT) It's really quite annoying how thin is good yet if you work for it its bad.

I have this same issue with my friends as well. I'm 5'4'' and 117 pounds and when I tell them I'm eating healthy and passing on junk food because I want to "lose weight" (really I know I just need to tone up but like someone mentioned its definitely MUCH easier to just saying you're trying to lose weight) and they all gang up on me like crazy! But if I mentioned that I need to tone up a little and maybe get some muscle definition they're all agreeing with me readily. :-/ Its irritating because even if you are exercising and lifting weights and trying to tone up you still NEED to eat healthy and pass on junk food, but people don't realize that and just think you're starving yourself.

I think when friends gang up on you it might be because they themselves are insecure about their own bodies...???
I don't think there's anything wrong with "toning up". I am 5'5 and 117...before i weighed 115 and didn't work out ever, then I started going to the gym and when I gained the two pounds I was upset because I thought working out was making me gain weight, but then I realized that it was only a muscle gain and that actually people would ask me if I had lost 5 pds because I looked much thinner. I asked a trainer at the gym, the reason is because when you tone your body the right way...your muscles will be more compact and your body will actually look smaller, as apposed to being thin like i was before...but i wasn't toned so i actually looked a little bigger.
Working out is always an amazing thing even if you don't need to lose weight!!! It keeps you healthy and in shape. I would tell your friends that you are going to the gym to "stay in shape". They have no reason to freak out about that...and might even join you!