"40 Something" Moms

Looking for support from other busy moms. When do you find time to exercize? How do you cook for your families who don't have to diet, without feeling deprived? How do you learn to stop comparing yourself to the "20 something" bodies? At 43 I feel like I should have these answers, but I don't!

Hi filpimom3,

I'm 42, working full time. My son is 20 and studying abroad so it's just me and my husband, but I feel I have never been busier in my life :)

Recently I bought the Air Climber and it has worked well for my busy schedule. Trying to do 30 min in the morning and 30 min in the evening. The reason I bought the infomercial product (I rarely do if ever) is because it's compact and provides a reasonable exercise. Me and my husband also hike in a local park during the weekend, if there's time.

When I cook, I first prepare a menu and always incorporate my meals within the family meal. For example, for myself I pan grilled asparagus and cherry tomatoes; 2 egg white omelette; toasted some organic whole wheat bread. I split the vegetables with the hubby and prepared omelette with the 2 egg yolks and 1 egg for him, plus some left over risotto from the previous day.

As far as the 20 something bodies, I think without any help from a scalpel I do not look so bad. Of course if I lose 20 lbs I'll be looking much better and that's my goal at the moment, but not so much for looks as to feel better about myself. Plus is healthier that way (to be thinner)

Thank you for your comments and support. I however still have two picky girls at home, who both weigh next to nothing. I served a balanced meal of chicken, wild rice and green-beans tonight and got accused of forcing them all to go on a diet. I think just getting my life organized enough and forcing myself to make time for myself so I can get the exercise I need will help tremendously. I started back at the gym on Monday and am terribly sore, but the pain reminds me that I'm doing something good. I have 30 pounds to go, so it will be a long stretch for me.

Congrats on surviving the empty nest! I have one away at college this year, but she's still close enough to be home for weekend meals, usually with several starving college friends. So cooking is a big part of my life right now. I am just going to have to leave my pity party and eat what I should before I cook for them so I won't be so tempted.

Thanks again for the reply. A walk with my husband in a park sounds nice. Think I'll try that!

Hi, I have 3 teenagers and found that for a while when hubby first started dieting, I was making 2 separate meals every night - one diet & one for the kids. Now, I try to make one meal but only measure or weigh hubby's & mine and perhaps have an extra like garlic bread or something for the kids that hubby & I don't need.

I too am trying to be more active. As we work from home together it's not convenient to join a gym. Went through a depression last year so if I say "I need to get out" hubby's more than happy to take me for a hike on a local nature trail or something, but my next goal is to get a pedometer (on the advice of 7 of my sisters-in-law - hubby's from a large friendly family) to see how much activity I actually get just doing the day to day, then try to improve on that - things like actually taking the laundry up the stairs instead of setting it on the steps for the next person going up to take, etc.

Could use any encouragement and am just learning my way around this site and seeing all the gadgets.

Nice to meet you filpimom3, and congrats on the goals, I'm sure you'll find lots of support here.

HI! JaaeJaae -  I'm new to all this too. Just figured out what the "Burn Meter" is all about. It was nice to understand that I do burn some calories just by existing! I thought the only calories burned were those spent in actual exercise! I would do an hour on the treadmill only to burn 300 calories! I couldn't figure out how some of the blogs were claiming 2000 calories burned. The "Burn Meter" was a wonderful revelation!

I know, going to the gym is tough. I have to book out at least 1&1/2 hours (including shower). I have had a membership for two years and I am just now really using it. I can't yet say I am truly committed because I have only gone since Monday, (I've made promises many times before) but I have gone every day this week... Yea! Monday and Tuesday I couldn't walk, Wed. it hurt to laugh and today, I am having trouble holding my arms to type. So... I must be doing something right. Keep at trying to be more active. I am told that only 1/2 hour of constant movement can help tremendously.

I am no stranger to dieting (God, I hate that word) but this is the first time I am trying this actual calorie counting and logging. I have always been a visual learner, so seeing this seems to be helping. I also have set a goal of being able to run in a 5K by June. I have never done that before. I haven't told anyone in my family for fear of failing, but I figure if enough cyber buddies know, I'll have to be accountable to someone.

Well, keep in touch. Let me know how you're doing! Good luck!

Hello ladies! I admire you all. I remember it was hard to work out while I was working full time. I did go before work if my girl had early morning school activities, but it was hard. Now I'm home with kids (12, 4, 4) and one of them foster are giving me enough reasons to eat ice cream after I put them to sleep, but I promised myself better body for upcoming 40th birthday. This web site did it for me. I had little kick start at gym in "biggest looser" program and the calorie counter there was soooo ridiculously expensive that I started to look around....THIS WEB SITE IS GREAT and free. I got to go, but if you feel like chatting or need little help here send me a message!   Good luck!

Hi & Welcome!

I know what you mean about finding the time to exercise.  I'm 43 and have a job (salaried) that requires me to work 12-14 hours a day and a 45 min commute each way.  Fortunately, my job requires me to do a considerable amount of walking.  It was my food intake that was the problem.  I was grabbing fast food as a quick remedy to lunchtime.  I take healthy frozen entrees to work now and if I go to fast food at all, it's for salad or their 'lite side' meals!

All the way up to winter, I was setting my clock and going for walks (30 minutes) prior to getting ready for work.  Now that it's too cold and dark outside, I use several exercise tapes or dvd's and turn them on low so I don't disturb the rest of my family and still get a work out.  Sometimes I turn on music and use my free weights (3, 5 or 10 pound).  I don't want to bulk up, just tone as I'm losing.  Even with my schedule as packed as it is, I know I can still spare 30 minutes of early morning exercise....it doesn't take what little family time I have away and still gets the job done!

Hi everyone

I'm new! But I am so glad you all are out there!!!

I'm 43 tomorrow, a single mom of an 8yr old girl...My problem is I am board!!  I decided to go back to school, and yes I do work too.  But when I study, I eat.  I suffer from panic disorder after a near fatal car accident in my 20's.  Just before I had my daughter I weighed 118lbs, I then had my gallbladder remover and 1 year later I had part of my vocal cord removed, still being medicated with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs...gave birth to my daughter went to 145lbs now I'm at 193 depressed as all hell cause I keep wanting to go back...I eat because it never was a problem and I can't accept it as one now.  But I have to.  I am still the same person I just don't look the same anymore.  I finally admitted that to myself yesterday.  Haven't had sex in 6 years, been wearing sweats and scrubs the same amount of time. 

I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just looking for some friends that will be honest and help me out-thank you for listening

 

meshameesh
Hi !!! Hey, I had some similar experiences. The best advise/help I can give you is to get off the drugs! WITH YOUR DR.'s help of course. Anti-anxieties cause your metabolism to come to a screeching halt and cause weight gain. Exercise causes your body to give off natural endorphins that will help your mood and mood swings. Whatever you do, DO NOT QUIT COLD TURKEY, Have your Dr. help you, but try to limit your sugar intake while you are quitting. Think about yourself and your body. You deserve to be happy and healthy! Think about it... you are putting all those chemicals into your body but are STILL feeling depressed. Something has to change. You'll feel better about yourself as soon as you start an exercise program and make a decision to stick with it. I have been going for 7 days now and although by body hasn't really changed yet, I feellike it has. I am starting to feel more comfortable in t-shirts and jeans, instead of "baby-doll" type tops and sweats.

Good luck, I'm here for you.  Tandi (Filpimom3@aol.com)

OH  - to all you other 40 somethings... I found a good use for all that 1980's head banger music! I used to make fun of my husband for having all of that "Heavy Metal" on his i-pod. Then one day I took it to work out with because I was getting bored. I ran a full extra mile!!! The music really helps! We went out and bought me an i-pod on Sat and I have been recording all our old CD's all weekend. Can't wait to go to the gym today! Turn it up and rock your workout!!!

I just wanted add to filpimom3 tip about I-pod. I couldn't make myself stay on any of the machines even with watching TV in gym.     ****** Audio books!!!!! First I started reading on stationary bike... awesome, then I listened to books on CD (I kept forgetting the box with discs next to the machines), NOW books on I-pod!!!! It keeps me going to the gym and I work out like mad, because I get the break from kids, I get my reading done I crave and with help of CC+ I'm down 17 Lb and I'm almost done with my goal.

I also cut deserts as a bet with my husband and even my nasty PMS mood swings are so much better. I couldn't go to gym for almost a month (me or others were sick) and I was depressed. Working out gets addictive the nice way . Perk that comes with it is increased energy level. Even before X-mas I had to take a small nap to get through the day and large amounts of coffee. Yesterday I just realize I didn't take a nap the whole month! Hang in there ladies! It so worth it! Just keep slowly going ! If anyone wants to be a buddy send me message. So far I was not successful with making buddies, but I got through almost to my goal and I'm thinking about adding another one just to not slip back... maybe some fitness goal (triathlon..... just kidding!) It is fun to think about it though.

Hello ladies, I'm new and I'm 43, will be 44 this year. I'm really trying here to lose at least 25 to 30 pound, I'm a dietabetic and beleive it or not I own a bakery.  Is it hard? no not when you smell the same things everyday and yes I focus on healthy baking and cooking for folks let me and vegens.... it not hard it's very interesting. To make up different baked goods people don't know that is healther for them. I have tried the gym and such not to lose the weight but to control my blood sugar. Stress played a part in my weight gain and weight lost. My babies are all gone now except one and he leaves this year. Not dateing and no plan too. Very comfortable with myself and my life right now. This extra weight have to go. In the health since of things. Does any one else find it hard to loose it after the 40 stage has hit?

Original Post by filpimom3:

OH  - to all you other 40 somethings... I found a good use for all that 1980's head banger music! I used to make fun of my husband for having all of that "Heavy Metal" on his i-pod. Then one day I took it to work out with because I was getting bored. I ran a full extra mile!!! The music really helps! We went out and bought me an i-pod on Sat and I have been recording all our old CD's all weekend. Can't wait to go to the gym today! Turn it up and rock your workout!!!

Hi! I'm 47, mom of 2 girls, ages 6 and 9, and I so totally understand what you mean about managing mealtime. Not that my kids (especially the older one) ever wants to eat anything I or my husband prepare anyway! It's an issue that we are struggling with--if I come up with anything, I'll sure to pass it along, and hope you'll do the same! I'm trying to lose 35 lbs, and I'm down 7.5 lbs so far, so I'm motivated to keep at it.

I had to comment on your music tip--I found that my iPod (a Christmas gift) makes all the difference in the world. My tastes run more toward the Ramones and the White Stripes, but anything that gets your body moving and your heart pumping works. Tonight I'm going to set up a specific workout playlist. Can't wait!

 

Hey Sophcesca or any one else who might have this answer -

I too set up a specific "work out" folder or "genre on my i-pod but I cannot get it to shuffle the music in this folder. It plays it all in order. Does anyone know how to shuffle music form specific categories on an i-pod?

When you have your I-pod connected to computer in the i-pod program create playlist on your I-pod and drag the songs you want where you want them in your playlist. It gave me trouble too with books downloaded from CDs they always came all in alphabetical order... mess. When I sorted them by the time downloaded, blocked the whole thing and move them in the playlist it didn't change..... PLAYLIST is your answer.

You don't have to drag the stuff into the folder in the order in which you want them. When you've got the iPod connected to your computer, go to your "Workout" folder, and then at the top, under the Controls tab, there is a shuffle option. Click that and it will shuffle. It's a toggle option--if you hit it again (like I did, because I didn't like the shuffled order) it will put them back in alphabetical order. Hit it again and it will reshuffle. I did this a few times in order to get a shuffle I liked.

Hi filpimom3,

I'm 43 too.  Each decade seems to present us with its own unique challenges doesn't it!

How old are your girls, are they old enough to learn to cook?  I started teaching my son to cook when he was about 5 -- now he is 12 and can cook quite a few dishes.  I keep the refrigerator and pantry stocked with foods that he can prepare: peanut butter, macaroni and cheese, tuna, fruits, frozen ready made items, etc... If he gets hungry in between meals, he asks if its okay first and then makes himself a snack.  

As for the younger prettier girls, I speak up first before my boyfriend has a chance with stuff like, "Gosh she's gorgeous" or "Wow, she has really big (inhale) umm EYES."  It makes my boyfriend laugh.  I'm straight, but it sure keeps him guessing.

For exercise... the family dog and I have been taking some really long walks as of late.  I'm his new best friend.  Sometimes my son walks with me and sometimes my boyfriend walks with me.  Maybe your girls could take turns taking a walk with mom -- what a great way to keep that bond going.  They might even end up fighting over who gets to walk with you.  

I love the ipod too.  I borrow my son's when I go for a walk alone.  Fabulous!  

sophesca,

finally someone else over the age of 40 who also likes the White Stripes.  My boyfriend thinks I'm nuts he listens to (what usually sounds stuffy to me) J-A-Z-Z.  Something really sexy about Jack White.

 

 

Original Post by musingforces:

 Something really sexy about Jack White.

 

 

Absolutely! 

Double post!

I'm 42 with two gorgeous teenage daughters, 13 and 15. I have the luxury of a telecommuting job, which really helps. The people I work with are all over the world, which makes my hours seem pretty much endless, but there are pockets of time when I am free to do whatever, especially in the morning hours, and I can easily find time to throw food into the crockpot, load the dishwasher, reboot the laundry, etc.

For exercise I started out walking every day for an hour around 10 AM... now I run instead (but I have to admit this winter, with the cold and snow, I've kinda slacked off lately... ). In fact, I should've gone running today but here it is 3:30 and I have yet to get off my butt.

I have run a few 5K's over the past year, and my family accompanied me to cheer me on. On weekends we'll take lonnnnnggg walks... we'll walk for hours.

As for diet and cooking, my strategy is to serve healthy foods and let the DD's and the DH load up on the starches, while I only take a serving. My DH isn't too picky and he's always simply grateful that he didn't have to do the cooking. My DD15 has gourmet tastes and will try anything i make, the more exotic the better.

My DD13 is extremely picky ... we say she's on the "all-beige" diet.... pasta, rice, bagels, chicken, cheese, french fries... if it's beige, she'll eat it. So she is tougher. She loves a variety of fruit though, so that's good. Unfortunately, she's discovered skinny cow bars are delish... so I have a hard time keeping them in the house for my own personal "emergencies" ... unless I hide them.

My girls do know I was calorie-counting, and I had to handle that very carefully, because I don't want them to obsess about their weight. I have explained over and over that they don't NEED to count calories and as growing teens they need a lot more calories than I do anyway. We talk a lot about good nutrition and balanced diets and the importance of keeping active.

Just last night, my DD15 said she felt that she was gaining lately... and I had to explain that it was okay; she's still got room to grow a bit more womanly curves. She shouldn't think that she's going to have the figure she has now, for the rest of her life. I don't think that's reasonable. 21, maybe. Not 15 though!

As for comparing to 20-something bodies, I have to say I find myself comparing myself to teenage bodies of my DD's and their friends!!! I know it is unrealistic, but it's hard not to do it, especially since we're all about the same height (give or take). It's not so much their bodies.... it's their skin. Oh to have skin like that again!!!

But, I'm also constantly reminded that those years were way too angst-ridden to really want to go backward in time. ;-)