is there something wrong with me?

starting in late may/early june i decided that i needed to lost weight.  over time it has become an obsession to where i count every calories and beat myself up for every fraction of a pound i gain.  i was never "overweight" to begin with, except in my own mind, but i have lost 21 pounds since then.  i am 5' 5.5" and 105 lbs.  i am a dancer and at first my ballet teacher told me that i looked fabulous, but now even she has told me to gain weight.  my studio owner is concerned, other teachers are concerned, a few friends have said something, and of course my parents.  then today somebody told me that i looked "sickly."  i know that i am technically i am "underweight" and i know for a fact that i am not in the right frame of mind as far as my relationship with food, but the thing is, i eat.  im very limited and pretty restricted but i really do try to get 1200 calories a day.  so my question is, can someone who eats 1200 calories a day have an ED?  i do dance 3-5 hours a day and burn it all off...but i eat!  i don't think that im entirely healthy, but i don't think that i have an ED.  are eating disorders solely dependent on calories that you eat each day, or does mental state have a lot to do with it.  any insight would be helpful...  i understand that people are concerned about me because they love me, but im sick of people telling me that i need help because i think that im fine because i eat.

Hi, when I was in the hospital with my baby, There were several ED girls there, and it seemed that the biggest problem was their relationship with food, and their own BODY IMAGE, like they felt if they ate certain things they would be fat, but they were all VERY thin. The fact that you are thinking about this is a good start, 1200 calories per day is definitely LOW for someone doing dancing for 3-5 hours daily, you should check out you rburn meter because you prolly have a really big deficit. You should try to increase your calories a bit at a time, and prolly talk to a counsellor or something, just to get their take on the situation. GOOD LUCK!

i think technically eating disorders require that you are a certain percentage underweight (which you most certainly are- being 5'5 and 100 lbs myself, i can say that with confidence) and have a disordered relationship with food (which you most certainly do). no calorie stats necessary. yes, you eat, but you even state specifically the you 'burn it all off'- NOT healthy. mental state has a LOT to do with eating disorders, and you freely admit that you are 'not in the right frame of mind' concerning food. you MUST eat more. i went through the justifying my problem because 'i do eat' stage, and you too will learn that just because you eat doesn't mean you eat Enough. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am struggling with this as well and I think that this is the type of post that would help get a problem across to me, especially if i was still denying that i had a disordered relationship with food.

and there's nothing "wrong" with you, so don't let yourself think that way 

Given your level of activity, I'd say that 1200 calories is not nearly enough. As I understand, 1200 calories for you would be the minimum maintenance for a more or less sedentary or mildly active person. I don't know how many calories are burned during dancing, but I'd say that if walking burns over 300 calories an hour (according to the activity log on this site), you are looking at maybe 500-600 calories being burned from dancing (thats just an estimate, feel free to give a more accurate number if you can). That leaves you will 600-700 calories a day, which is not NEARLY enough.

 See if you can bump up to maybe 1600-1800 calories a day to help off-set your dancing. 

You are underweight, at 122 you were just perfect.  Please see a doctor to make sure that you are not causing yourself damage.  If your doctor agrees with you that 5'5" and 105 lbs is perfect for you, then please eat to maintain your weight.  The calculator from CC says 1900 given your weight and activity level.

 

over time it has become an obsession to where i count every calories and beat myself up for every fraction of a pound i gain.

This is characteristic of anorexics. Take the concern from your instructor and friends as a sign to seek help. Anorexia is a mental disease, and it usually gets worse rather than correcting itself on its own.

1200 calories is far too little for a dancer to be eating, especially if you are a teenager. Teenagers who sit around playing video games burn more than that.

If you want to continue dancing, you will need the energy and nutrition of extra calories to help you perform and stay healthy. Otherwise, I would put dancing on hold and focus on getting your outlook on food straightened out before you do serious damage to your body and mind.

I agree with muttlover.  I have been anorexic for 8 years.  It's a psychological disorder.  You have it.  Get help now.  ED is easy to diagnose: if you wonder if you have one, you probably do.

Hmm it doesn't sound like anything's wrong with you to me. I'm an ex-dancer and most of the people at my studio shared similar stats with you. It's mainly from all the extra excercise, also weight loss can lead to appetite loss, but still you sound pretty normal to me. If you're worried see a doctor, see what they have to say.

Original Post by alieecat:

Hmm it doesn't sound like anything's wrong with you to me. I'm an ex-dancer and most of the people at my studio shared similar stats with you. It's mainly from all the extra excercise, also weight loss can lead to appetite loss, but still you sound pretty normal to me. If you're worried see a doctor, see what they have to say.

 i'd be hesitant to listen to this advice. no offense alieecat, but the fac that others in a dance studio setting are underweight is no indication that it is okay. i agree with muttlover and adryael. i think you have an eating disorder, but its okay. there's a stigma attached to that label, but there shouldn't be. its a psychological struggle that many of us have to deal with. please get help before you get any sicker. the last thing you would want would be to end up in the hospital or be forbidden from dancing, right? pm me if you want to talk more

Here's a test from the CC+ Library, by eating disorder expert, Matthew Tiemeyer

The EAT-26 Eating Disorder Screening Test

Take the quiz.  It will answer a lot of your questions.

1200 calories is not a magic number.  It's simply the minimum amount of calories it takes to provide all the minimum daily requirements of nutrients for a woman.

If you are a dancer, then you are burning far more than 1200 calories.  Use the "Burn" tool to determine what you burn, then to gain weight, add calories to that number.  I think you'll be surprised at how high it is!