Sometimes I just get a little frusrated with my family! (removed original title)

I guess I am just a little upset, no matter what I do to try and show my mom that being healthy is good she either doesn't respond, or just goes and talks about how everything has to have gravy. GRRR

mmmm.  gravy.

not very helpful, i know, but when you've been cooking for yourself for awhile, you'll realize how important a good gravy is.

that's really not a very nice thing to say. does your mom love you? yes, i'm sure she does or she wouldn't bother to make you food at all? do you have a relationship with her? yes you do! I don't have the privilege of these things...my relationship sucks and I would never say I hate my mom. I know it's a figure of speech and you probably don't mean it, so I'm not condemning you or trying to be all high and mighty on you, but honestly you should try to take responsibility for your weight and your health!! she's your mom and she has decided to live a certain way, that's her choice, you have to make the decision for yourself how you'd like to live :) give your mom a hug and try to take her on the journey WITH you instead of fighting her about it!! :)

I think i know where your coming from I love my mam to bits but as regards food she loves anything bad for you and so growing up whatever she cooked for herself she made for us to, naturally now that Im 21 thats all I really like I really try so hard to be healthy but am always unsatisfied and get so down, like my bodys just looking for the good stuff.

21 years of bad food is so hard to come away from its not her fault as thats how she was raised but it would be alot easier if she got me used to eating healthy food too and it gets me so mad sometimes!

Good communication is the hardest thing in the world.

You are lucky that you have the benefit of a dietary education.  That is not so true of older generations. 

Your mom probably won't change by badgering her.  But she might if you lead by example.  Rather than telling her how bad her choices are for her, tell her how good your choices are for you. 

People get unreasonably defensive if they feel they are being condemned or attacked in some way.  So take the emphasis off of her and put it on to yourself.

It really is all about you anyway.  As an adult your mom will make her own choices, even choices you do not approve of.  Thats OK.  But as she sees how your diet benefits you she might be willing to give it a go herself.

I know what its like to have to eat the garbage. My mom always makes the same thing. Some kind of dried out steak. Its always steak. on a rare occasion she'll make chicken. I got into the habit of buying my own food and cooking myself dinner. Try to get into the habit. You may fight with your mom over the kitchen, its just a woman's nature.

I am sorry to my mom and everyone, I am usually not this angry and abrasive sometimes ii get a little upset. There is a lot of underlying issues I have with my mom and it is taking time to handle it. I am actually a very healthy eater now, I just get the low self-esteem and want a scapegoat. Thanks for the kind words and thoughts, I really do love my mom, ; I just don't like her choices.

My mom raised me on crap food and using food to fix everything. Food was a bandage or emotional and physical wounds, it was also the reward for achievements, a great reason to get together with family, and really any excuse you can think of. I picked up on EMOeating, and it's something I've been working really hard to stop doing.

Don't be mad at your mom. Yes, it's hard... But she's unhealthy for a reason too....

And really everything is better with gravy.... EVERYTHING

I feel you alykat.

I feel you.

my mom knows more about nutrition than a lot of people who call themselves dieticians.  she raised me on a wide range of balanced, home-cooked food in the right proportions.  she also taught me what she knew in a way that was healthy and rational.  i still developed a taste for junkfood. 

blaming mom is way too easy; it's also perfectly natural, as long as you plan to grow out of it.

Instead of being mad at your mom for putting gravy on everything try cooking WITH her and making sure that your portion doesn't have anything on it that you don't want on it. That way she isn't cooking different meals for everyone, you will be cooking it yourself. You are old enough to take responsibility for your choices, and that includes what you eat. If you don't like what she is serving get a p/t job and buy the foods that are good for you.

I know one of the biggest struggles I have with cooking is that everyone else in the family wants foods that are high in fat and calories yet are delish. I compromise. I most of the time cook for me and the rest of the family is forced to eat what I want, but once in a while I cook the bad stuff and just eat less of it.

I know how you feel though. My mom and dad loved the potato chips and ice cream and I do too. When I hit 30 my metabolism changed drastically and what I was able to eat became way too much food. I packed on 50 pounds since I met my husband and I hate the way I look and feel. But, I don't blame my mom for my choices. They're mine even though I was taught to make them. In this day and age we have access to enough education and information that there really isn't a good excuse to eat bad and sit around doing nothing all day.

I hope things work out for you.

It's no one's fault but your own. It's your body. No one's responsible for it but you.

I can understand where you're going with this; as a kid I was raised to eat what was put in front of me, clean the plate (even if I was so full I felt ill, my parents would put a timer on and give me five minutes to finish my food or i'd be punished) and never complain about it.

Even back then I recognized how unhealthy their food habits were - pizza, lasagna, chicken pie and tons of potatos, white pastas and breads, fried foods.  All incredibly bad for you, but I'm one of the lucky ones who grew to hate all of those things because they had been forced on me.  Once my mother started working, she no longer made meals for me and I got to choose, and I started making healthier choices - once I got a job, I paid for my own food and now I'm 21 and making the best choices for my body. 

There's a level of our eating habits that we can attibute to our childhood, to be certain, but there comes a point where your choices are your own; best to see that as the freedom it is.

I'm the opposite.  As a child I was raised eating healthy, balanced meals.  A few treats now and then, home made foods, not much processed food and was always a healthy, active, thin child. 

I'm not now.  I'm over weight and because I chose to eat what I ate. 

So you can't blame your Mum or anyone else, you're 24 yrs old I'm sure you could make your own meals and food choices.

BTW my Dad has gravey all the time and he's stayed the same healthy weight most of his life.

That "hate my mom" is a very strong comment!  I would hope you could control your own diet without hating your mom.  If you do hate her, I think there may be more going on than diet.

Is anyone reading what I said in the second posting, I appologized, I now understand that trying to vent on this website is a bad idea because I feel worse now than I did when I was upset in my OP. 

lostalykat, you might want to go back and edit your OP.  i understand that you were just venting, but people are going to react to that sentiment.

Hi lostalykat. Don't feel too bad. We all have moments when our loved ones drive us absolutely nuts!!!! Just do your best to eat like you should, and don't worry about what she eats. It's hard not to want to change others' bad eating habits, but you can't anyway, so you might as well just keep on trucking in your own good direction. It's just one of those acceptance things.

i totally understand where you are coming from on this one. my mom has no sense of portion control and therefore constantly overindulges in everything she can get her hands on. its annoying becuase i see what she is doing to herself, the high blood pressure, back problems that could be mostly cured if she wasnt so overweight, etc. but she is eating like she has her entire life and until she had my younger brother she was a size 2. So she didn't change her eating habits, but her body changed anyway.

She is unhappy and screaming for help but doing an awful job at most of it, ie emo eating. Instead of badgering her my dad and i have started leading by example (even though he isnt overweight) i point out to her how many calories are in the 1/4C of honey mustard she uses on her salad vs my olive oil and basalmic...she is SLOWLY catching on. I start making my own meals and buying my own food i let her see what i eat and then she comments, "hey you really have lost weight." she sasy that almost every saturday when she sees me in my leggings that i wear when i horseback ride. she sees what i do and sees the results so i think its starting to sink into her head that what she is doing is not helping her. and she always comments on how good my food smells or looks. So i have started every week making one meal for the three of us, everyone wins, we all eat healthy and mom and dad dont have to cook. Try offering to cook a meal a week. that way she will see that what you eat (the healthy stuff) actually tastes good. She might surprise you. good luck.

Nobody understands you better than I do, my parents constantly eat junk. One day last week, just for fun, I counted opened packages of: 7 different types of cake & pastry, 11 different kinds of chocolate and candy, 6 kinds of processed cheeses, 4 different kinds of processed pork meats, 4 different kinds of cookies, and that`s only the things that can be grouped together, there were lots more 'ones' or 'twos' lying around. xD (and no, it wasn`t a shopping day, or otherwise special occasion)

The solution? Make it clear to everyone: your food is up for grabs, but there is no way in heck you are touching theirs.

Also, be sure you work on the kitchen sharing schedule with your mom. In my house it is often more solicited than the bathroom. :]