Son starting to have potty accidents

Hi, My three year old son has been potty trained for a year or so know and just recently started to have accidents in his pants. He has had maybe three poopy accidnets in three weeks and a few little pees ( and one big pee). I think it is b/c i am having another baby in a week or so, and i have been a bit stressed and i think it might be upsetting him. Also, his preschool teacher gave me a long extensive list on things she feels he needs to work on to get ready for kindergarden, like scissors, proper gripping a pen, spatial awareness, fine moter and gross motor skills and hey lets throw in sharing for fun. Although he can ride a bike and knows all his numbers( up to thirty), colors, shapes etc...sighs. I am taking it seriously but i know he turned three in only december and he is in a three/four school. i feel overwhelmed by all this inforamtion plis a new baby etc....HELP!!!

I got really made at him the first big poo he did in his pants but have since treated them like a woopsee accident in hopes that he will realize that mistakes happen. I am trying not to let it boter me but it really does and i don't know what to do. Any suggestions??

Thanks

He is most likely just feeling the anxiety of the arrival of a new baby just like you are.  Kids are keenly aware of changes in our behavior and emotions. 

I wouln't worry too much about the school stuff right now.  If he is only three he has time to get ready for kindergarten.  Fine motor skills are hard for little kids.  Some things that might help are using shorter pencils and markers (crayola make ones called pip squeaks).  Also if you have chalk give him a tiny piece to use.  The smaller length "forces" them to use a better grip.  Give him scissors and tell him you need "Coupons" or something cut out.  If he thinks he is helping you he might be more motivated.  At his age it is most important that he views things as fun and play more than learning.  You don't want him to be frustrated by school at such an early age. 

As far as pottying goes, you are right mistakes happen.  And they tend to happen much more often when something big is happening in a kids life (like a new sibling).  Try not to focus on the accidents (I know this is hard!) and make a big deal out of him using the potty.  Lots of praise when he uses the potty and be very neutral about the accidents, showing as little emotion either way as possible.  My oldest daughter had lots of "accidents", which i'm pretty sure were on purpose, after the arrival of her brother.  And she did it because it got a reaction out of me, but when i quit reacting she went back to using the bathroom like always.  Good luck with the baby and give yourself a break.  You have a lot on your plate right now.

You're probably right about the cause of the accidents. I expected my daughter to start having accidents around the time my son was born. She didn't but it's very common from what I hear. I'm not sure what to offer in the way of advice on this one. What about taking him out to purchase a new, small toy (or out for ice cream or some other activity he enjoys but doesn't experience often) at the end of an accident-free week?

Sounds to me like your preschool might be a little harsh! If he just turned three in December, he's probably not going to start kindergarten until 2010, right? I don't know if it's different here in the states but in Kansas, our kids have to turn 5 by August 31st in order to start kindergarten in public schools (my daughter is learning to read and if she can by this fall, we'll consider starting her early...she'll be 5 in November). If he does need to work on these things, he has plenty of time to do so! The important thing RIGHT NOW is to get through the birth of your child and settled into your new life with two kids. After that, you will still have plenty of time to work on his skills. Don't stress about that right now! He sounds pretty advanced on most things...my 4-year-old can only count to 40 and she doesn't get it right every time. She also can't ride a bike (she was never really interested in it).

Just make it through the last few weeks of your pregnancy before concentrating on other things :) You can do it, girl! I know it's hard at this point because everything is MAJOR when the hormones are flowing. Your son is precious and is just adjusting to the big lifestyle change you guys are going through. Good luck!

Dont worry about the accidents just quietly remind him to use the toilet every 3 hours.   You just make sure he goes.  Its the new baby coming but lots of children go through this when the 2nd baby comes.  Very common.

As for school where I am as long as children no longer in diapers they go to school.  Dont sweat the small stuff as you will only make your son more anxious.

Let the school do what they are their for;  teaching your son

Beir- here in my province children start the year they turn 4, for junior kindergarten.

I havent read all of the other post so this may have been said but when my nephew was fully potty trained for over 6 months he began having accident (only pee tho) and turned out he had a UTI so its maybe just something to look into.

As for the preschool thing I wouldnt worry about it sounds like hes doing very well for his age. Just concentrate on spending as much time with him now until the baby is born, make sure he feels extra special, afterall he is gonna be a BIG BROTHER :) Good luck and remember in 20 yrs you will miss all of this :)

Thanks ladies, He has been accident free for a few days and told me he had to go poo this morning. I out him on first thing when he got out of bed so far so good!

I am in tears b/c you all have relieved some pressure that i feel and reminding me to chill out. thanks:)

i am going to try hard to just relaxe and i will look for smaller pens and pencils. He is getting great at cutting and gripping his pen, balancing and jumping and landing wiht two feet also with jumping over things.

Thanks again

Just wanted you to know that the same thing is happening at my house with my 2.5 year old (mainly pee but still) and I am due in 8 days..... I imagine all will settle eventually.... all the best.

Hello ladies,

I have been making sure that he is going about every three hours which seems to be working at the moment. I think he is the type that seems to wait til the very last moment and than goes a little in his pants and than in the toliet. Yes, i am due in two days but i don't think this baby is ever coming out.

good luck to you too Bobosenberries, and all the mommies out there.

I have to tell this story! My nephew was about 3 years old when he was playing in the clubhouse in the back yard. Climbing up the ladder, crawling through the tunnel, and going down the slide over and over.

He walks into the house with all this brown, mud looking stuff on this hands and knees. My sister walked up to him in the kitchen and then smelled it. POO!!

She looks out the window at the club house, and yup. Poo EVERYWHERE!! little poop hand prints everywhere! He had the habit of putting his hand down his pants to check for poop. I guess he pooped, but he didn't want to stop playing outside!!

My 5 month pregnant sister had to climb up the ladder and clean the poo off as best she could!! OOOHHH she was mad! This was almost 4 years ago, but this will be a story we tell for all time!!

that is so funny and gross at the same time!!!!

at what age are kids "supposed" to be trained by?  I so don't know any of this stuff.  a 3 1/2 year old i know refuses to go to the bathroom; and can only poo in the closet in her diaper.  they'll be four in september.

Girls tend to be potty-trained earlier than boys, from what I hear.

My daughter was potty-trained by two and a half. She's had fewer than five accidents in two years and they've all been pee.

That's funny about the 3 1/2 year old. My friend's daughter would do the same thing. It took her quite some time to poop in a toilet; she preferred going under a desk to poop in her diaper.

Just caught this thread but wanted to mention if he starts having accidents for attention just let it go and give him some "big boy" things like getting the wipes or tossing the dirty diapers for the baby.  My girls practically used to fight over helping me rinse out diapers (we used cloth) with the toilet sprayer!  But doing those "big girl" things for them and getting to do stuff the baby couldn't kept us from having major meltdowns.

With regards to the school, just pick one little thing a week and focus on it and then after that just bring it into activity time.  It helped us a lot to do guided help and then just simple reminders with things like staying in lines or holding the paper when cutting.  Worked like a charm with mine =)