i sorta miss it

i miss the madness of it all.. i miss my drive, my obsession, the results I saw with it all.. I miss so much... sighhhhh i just had to post this..... Maybe its my medication.. maybe thats why its been so hard for me to get motiovated intolosing this weight.. It seems so easy when i wasnt medicated...

Meds make it very easy to be "blah". SOMETIMES I find a good med level and it works other times I have to dig in and hold on till spring. Yoga is my favorite lift. Rent a video from libary and try just the relaxation stretching. I feel my depression in pain in my shoulders. The yoga sometimes is just enough to help me see the sunshine. It may give you a little sunshine. Know that there are people that understand and people who dont. Im a firm believer that you cant understand this unless you have physically felt it or truly love someone who does.

I was just thinking the same thing the other day.... one of my meds has taken away the part of me that was wildly creative, the free spirit, messy, able to to just go for it.... it was also a bit reckless and I tended to do things like spend too much money etc... so there are reasons for it. I think I use to rely on that part of me to pull the other part of me out of dark depressions and that's harder to do now. Just take another medication. An odd cycle I've started, but one that seems appropraite for my kids and myself. I have been able to maintain an alomst 50 pound weight loss so far. It's a daily struggle and I have a long way to go still...... So I understand where you are coming from.

I understand were your coming from.  Before I started my meds. I could write poems and storys with great thought and imagination.  That part of me doesn't exist anymore.  I realy miss it.  However my mood is more stable and the suicidal thouhts are not as strong as they were.  So my family is happier with the person that I am today.  When I'm not medicated my mood is so down.  But I wrote some I think beautiful work.  As for weight loss.  When I was on paxil, I was numb I didn't feel motivated about anything.  Finally after trying several different medications, we have hit on two that are helping me feel something again.  I'm on wellibutrin xl and ABILIFY.  I went on abilify about year and half ago and I have lost about 37lbs.  Good luck to you.  So if your feeling numb with your meds keep trying until you find the correct combo for you.  I'd rather be safe and content then being in that dark hole were I could write.  I DO MISS THE WRITING THOUGH.

Karen