SOS: so fustrated I am on the verge of just giving up

Hi every one

I have been on CC for a while - flying under the radar, but now I need to vent, cry and perform like a 2 year old, and I am hoping some one can knock some sense into me.

I have been working very hard for 4 weeks to to go from 99kgs to 95.9 kgs. On Saturday I finally hit 95.9kgs. The problem was I had 2 birthday parties and a dinner this weekend. I weighed myself this morning and TAA DAA I am back up to 98.5kgs. I wanted to cry, and in fact I did.

Every one I speak to says to me:

1. Eat less carbs... I had pasta for the first time in 2 months this weekend. I barely touch the stuff! And I haven't had bread or potatoes in months!

2. Drink more water ... I drink 3 litres a day, if I drink any more I might end up drowning myself.

3. Dont eat processed sugar.... I can't even remeber the last time i had sugar in my tea or ate sweets.

4. Fast food is a no... ok this one I am guilty of at least once a week due to me working late at work and every one else getting fast food and me being hungry and usually frustrated at work so I give in.

5. Exercise more... Flip 1 hour in the morning and one hour at night - what more can i DO? I feel like i should install a treadmill at my desk.

Is this my life? Being damned to eat next to nothing, drink those nasty tasting meal replacement shakes, taking supplements, just to MAINTAIN my fat shell, not even lose it??

My weight is "topped" at 99kgs, I don't seem to go over this weight. No matter how much I ate or don't eat. What more can I do? I live what most people see as a very healthy eating life style, I have the occasional off day, but why must i suffer so much when i have those off days? It is like my body doesn't want to lose weight because the first opportunity it gets it throws it all back on!

I started googling operations to help me lose weight. And sadly I feel like this is my only option, because I have been fighting with my weight since i was 10 years old. The only time i was a size 34 (size 12) was when i was a drug addict - 10 years ago.

Whats left to do? I am so tired of being me.

PS: thanks to any one who is reading this, and thank you for any response given. Even if it is to tell me to stop whining :P I read the forums often and I know most of you are awesome when it comes to people with problems like me. So thank you. Above all else I think I just need some one to understand.

Aww, it'll be okay!

If there's one thing I can recommend, it's keep doing what you were doing before (few sweets, lots of water, working out), and weigh yourself in a week. After I've had a bad day or two my weight goes impossibly up, but if I go through my routine and give the food more time to pass through my system, I find everything pretty much goes back to normal (because unless you were insane bingeing those days, you definitely did not put on nearly 4kg in one weekend!). I know it's hard, but stay positive. You can do it!!

Thanks Emma

I am a bit OCD when it comes to weighing myself - i do it every morning. So i should only do it once a week?

I drank alot of booze this weekend - maybe thats it... how can 2 bottles of wine do this :\

I'll keep it all up - i just wish it was easier! i am tired of being "the fat girl"

Thanks for the pat on the back - i needed it.

 My advice keep doing what you were doing ! but if you have a bad day or a party to go to to DON'T GO NEAR THE SCALES for 2 days, its usually a tempory gain!

So don't put your self down

Shadane,

Are you logging your food (and calories)? You said you drank a lot of booze--that is loaded with empty calories. Also, have you had your thyroid checked?

I know I have a different perspective of what I eat compared to how many calories I actually eat when I log my food.

Good luck,

J-mom

Hey J-mom

I log everything as much as i can - on the weekend tho I am a bit slack. You're the 4th person to suggest the thyroid thing - so i think i am going to book an appointment and get it looked at - thanks.

I worked out the wine to 800 calories, and the cider to 300 calories - so yeah on Saturday night i hit about 2000 calories all in all. I usually keep to my 1200 calories a day thing, and i score a grade A or B, so I can't be that bad :(

Thanks to every one for the support - I really appreciate it

Shadane

I don't know how tall you are and i work in lbs not kg ( am english ), but i'm 5ft 4 in hieght, weigh 163, was 187 and when i was on 1200 a day (sedentry) only had to look at a crumb of food extra and i put on weight !

My daughter who is 20 and she has lost 43lbs! has been doing this longer than me, told me to try eatting a bit more and see how it went i changed to eatting 1400 most day and the weight is comming of better, i feel happier .

i'm not an expert, and it could be the thyroid thing, or your body could be in starvation mode! its worth a try especaily as your exersing as well.

Good luck !

I am 181cm, which is 6ft 0in i think. and I work out to 225lb's

Hmmm, what you say does make sense. I am just petrified that eating more calories is going to make it worse. On some days I am to scared to even eat :( I know i got a very unhealthy fat head.

I will give this a shot for a bit - hey things can't get any worse :P

THANK YOU

Chill.  Going to a party and gaining some weight overnight is really more a testament to how much salt was in the food than you over eating, even if you did overeat, you didn't eat 2.6KG of food yesterday, that's insane.  It's likely a bit overeating and a lost of salt making you retain water.

Also, what's the point of losing weight and being fitter if you seem to be really miserable and deprived.  I think you really just need to find a better groove for eating and exercising. 

Being healthy should make you happy!  So if you like pasta, you should work it into your daily calories (and try and eat whole grains), carbs give you energy and whole grains like brown rice and pasta, barley, couscous, bulgar wheat, etc are really good for you.  You shouldn't cut out all carbs because you need them!  Plan ahead!  If you're late and hungry at work, make sure you plan to have lots of healthy snack, so that even if you end up ordering in with co-workers, you won't be so starving that you can't keep your head straight to order something half healthy.  Stay hydrated, but if you feel like you're drowning, you definitely don't need more water... 

Make sure you are eating enough to be doing all that exercise.  1200 calories for someone of your weight (and I am guessing that you aren't 5 feet tall, so even more so) is VERY low, especially with exercise.  It doesn't make sense to cut your calories so low that you slow down your metabolism.  Also, try some resistance training, stronger muscles equal stronger metabolism (since muscle mass is what drives your metabolism), if you are severely cutting calories and doing lots of cardio, your body will drop your muscle first and this will slow your metabolism and you will look softer.  Doing weights and getting enough calories will help you hold on to the muscle you have and drop the fat instead.  Don't worry about 'getting big', our lack of testosterone ensures women can't get big without some godlike effort, extra calories and, generally, steroids.

And don't listen to silly advice from people who don't know what you're going through or are wrong (including mine if I'm off course), you know how hard you're working, you know what you're putting in your body.

Edit - at 6 feet, 1200 calories isn't near enough, 2000 is probably closer to what you really need, hence why you feel deprived.  If you've been at 1200 for a few weeks, you'll see some gain as your body gets used to eating enough, but in the long run your loss will be faster and healthier and likely more permanent.  And, STOP weighing daily, you are going to drive yourself insane. 

Hey thermal, thanks for your reply - your last paragraph made me giggle.

I thought if you kept your calories low and increased your exercise you would lose weight? Seems like i had my head all wrong then.From the replies I get here, seems like I have been going about everything all wrong. I thought low calorie intake then high calorie burn was the way to go, but it seems not?

Well two things i am going to do:

1. see a dietician.

2. see my doctor.

Thanks to every one! I am feeling better and going to see the right people this time round, because I think my fat head was on back to front

Don't worry, It will be all right.  I went through the same thing not to long ago.  I was extremely frustrated and depressed that I would never be able to enjoy the things I like again in the attempt to be thinner and healthier, and realized that I was just torturing myself for no reason.  I decided that I was just going to keep on at my program and make changes here and there if I think I need to and not worry about it.  I still weigh myself daily but I just note the weight and move on.  This morning, after going to a party Friday night and having a bit too much the scale had me up a whopping 4 lbs!  Now since I know that there's no way I took in 14000 calories more than I burned, I also know that the weight's going to come right back off just as long as I up my water intake and watch my calories.  I'm just going to keep on my program and leave it at that.  I'm going to Key West in a week and I'm certainly not planning to deny myself while I'm there.  My plan is to work out in the resort gym every morning and eat healthy for breakfast and lunch.  I'll allow myself to eat what I want at dinner and allow whatever beverages I want within reason of course.  If I gain weight during the trip, and I probably will, I'll just pick myself up, dust myself off and move on with my plan.  If there's one thing I've learned over this last year of my journey it's that things are not always going to work consistently, but if I do what I'm supposed to with eating and with exercise, I'll eventually get some results.  The same thing goes for you.  Just keep on going and try not to let the little setbacks get to you.  My one concern is that I don't think you're eating enough. Unless you stay in bed all day 1200 calories is not enough.  Have you run your stats?  I'm sure you need to up your calories, and I've heard that zig zagging is a good way to keep your metabolism going.  I've never really tried it myself, at least not in any planned way, but I have heard it works.  Just keep at it and try not to let that evil scale get to you.  Good luck!

Yet again you guys amaze me :)

Thanks for the advice caver - between all the replies I have gotten today I realise that I have been thinking liek an anorexic. which is probably my first and only mistake!

I just called my boyfriend to tell him all I learned today from you guys and he said to me "Great does this mean you'll stop pouting at the bread loaf" - apparently when i get home from work each day I look at the bread tin and sigh loudly :P

As it has been said, drink my water, eat healthy but eat enough to sustain me mentally and physically :) I made an appointment with a dietitian to get the right amounts and stuff :)

THANKS AGAIN TO EVERY ONE

Original Post by shadane:

Is this my life? Being damned to eat next to nothing, drink those nasty tasting meal replacement shakes, taking supplements, just to MAINTAIN my fat shell, not even lose it??

Throw out the useless meal replacement shakes.

Original Post by healthisinplease:

Original Post by shadane:

Is this my life? Being damned to eat next to nothing, drink those nasty tasting meal replacement shakes, taking supplements, just to MAINTAIN my fat shell, not even lose it??

Throw out the useless meal replacement shakes.

I agree, you need to learn to eat health food , and that stuff is not food and in the long term not healthy!

Awww, that sounds miserable. And yes, you can lose the weight, but you shouldn't have to drink meal replacement shakes or have your calories so low it makes you miserable. You don't even have to cut out carbs. I admire how much you are working out, wow!

The sudden gain in weight is no doubt a result of salt, water weight, maybe even the water weight you gain after cutting carbs and then eating them again. That will come off again.

What you need to do is change your plan of action. Find some way to make things sustainable for when you are done losing weight. Eat more, eat things you enjoy, eat healthy but eat in a way that you can see yourself doing forever and enjoying life as well. Exercising as much as you do should make you feel great, and if you are feeling tired all the time it's a sign you need to up your calories. You can eat a bit below maintenance, and don't have to drastically cut cals if you exercise that much. That's what's great about this site, you can pretty accurately track how many cals you are eating and eat the right amount for a nice slow and maintainable weight loss.

Good luck and all the best.

sokkies

Well your so sweet saying what you did to me, and I have say it right back, you can do it, and so long as you need some support in those rough patches, these ppl, and this place is going to want to help you. :) Keep it up, good for you for wanting to be a healthier person, and making the right choices by seeing a doctor and really trying to understand what your body needs from you. You do all these things and I am sure you feel better really soon.

I know how frustrated you are!  I too stopped eating certain foods (carbs, refined sugars...) and it didn't really help.  The only thing that really helps is counting every calorie that goes into your mouth.  It doesn't matter what kind of calorie it is, of course healthier is better but to lose, calories are the most important.  I always planned what i was going to eat for the whole day every morning.  If I knew I would be working late, i incorporated fast food into my calories.  You can do it!  Enjoy your carbs, it's just another type of calorie and restricting foods you like is only going to increase your risk of failure.  It took me years to figure this out, hope it helps!!   

I would have to agree with the previous comments and say 1200 calories is WAY too low for you right now. The reason the weight is coming off so slow is because even though you have such a deficit, it is way too low for your body so your body is hanging on to everything you are eating. Up the calories a bit and it will be less painful - I know it sounds odd to hear that if you eat more the weight will come off easier!   Another silver lining is, with myself along with many others on CC I'm sure is that 6 days a week I will eat perfectly well, abstain from the booze, workout etc but one day a week I will allow myself a free day... and you really don't end up eating as many calories as you think. This also revs your metabolism and I would find a day or two after my 'free day' I would actually drop more weight than gain because your metabolism was kick started. As long as you go right back to your plan the next day, its good for your waistline AND mental health :)

Hey!

Weekends are hard - I never weigh myself on a Monday morning because any mistake over the weekend will show and they usually are temporary!  Wine & booze are empty cals - if you have to, stick with vodka or red wine (slightly better choices).  I found that if I cut out all carbs from my diet, I was usually unsatisfied, felt like I had to struggle to maintain good eating habits and then if I had any carbs, they hit hard!

I now maintain a 40-45% carb, 35-40% protein & 20% fat diet, and the weight is going steadily - couple lbs a week....it is no harder to count than just cals and I feel healthy and not hungry - in fact, I usually have trouble eating enough to hit 1200 a day!  It all comes down to the choices - real food is better than processed, meal replacements don't satisfy (its not eating if you don't chew something!) and there are sweet things that don't involve refined sugar and are healthful!  You exercise plenty from the sounds of it...

Don't worry, you will get where you want to be....

All i can say is this: You guys are amazing. All the support and the right type of critisism have helped me realise so much - every single one of you have played a part in getting my head right - thank you.

I had a bit of a "intervention" last night with my house mate and my boyfriend. I showed them this topic and all your posts, and they fully agree with every one. Apparently I was so determined to starve myself I wasn't listening to any one but me - problem number one! And I was obsessive - problem number two!

You will all be pleased to know I am seeing my doctors dietictician on monday. And I just eat a bowl of museli :) instead of having my morning meal replacement shake.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear that you are getting disheartened.  The only bit of advice I can give you is that if you know that you have a special dinner, party you are going to attend then reduce your calorie intake a few days before so then you have got some "credit calories".  I knew that I was going on holiday, my usual calorie intake is 1600 a day so I reduced it to 1200 a day the week before I was due to go on holiday, and although I did gain a pound on holiday, when I came back I again reduced my calorie intake.  E.g. if I had been consuming approx 2500 calories a day on holiday I gradually reduced by 100 a day until I was back to 1600, and now I am back on track.  Hope my tip helps.  Good luck!