Spacing out the babies- how long did you wait?

so my DH and I have been talking about our second and timing.  How long did you ladies wait?  I was thinking about pregnancy again in a year and half so they are kinda close together.  your thoughts?  I know-  it's pretty soon to start thinking about the next!!!  He really wants a boy so I'm going to have to have babies until I get a boy!!  :-P

I got pregnant with my second when my son was 13 months.  So they are 22 months apart, and it is a lot of work!  We just recently transformed his crib to a toddler bed because he learned how to crawl out, and next week we'll be starting potty training.  It is a lot of work, but when will it not be?  The one thing I didn't like about being very pregnant in the summer with a busy toddler is I was very fatigued, and I didn't want to be outside hardly at all with the hot weather, and that bummed me out because I wanted him to have fun, KWIM?  But they love each other a lot, and I think it's only going to get better.

OK, so I wanted to start trying the moment I was cleared to have sex again.  My feeling:  Let's get all this baby stuff out of the way ASAP.  (Babies are cute, but MAN are they difficult.  You can't explain anything to them.  Forget about reasoning with them.  They want what they want and you better do it right now or they are going to scream.)

Hubby wasn't down with that idea.  He wanted to wait.  We waited a year.  I was fine with that.

Then, it took, I think, 20 months to conceive.  So, they are about 3 and a half years apart.  I really, really feel like this is too far apart. 

The good:  Amelia was walking, talking, potty trained, sleeping through the night in her own room, old enough to follow directions, old enough to understand what was going on by the time the new baby came.

The bad:  I fear that Amelia and Anastasia will not be close as they grow up.  I have a sister who is almost 4 years younger and we have never really been close.  (Actually, we were close for a time after we had grown into adults, but we have since had a falling out.)  Anastasia will probably always be the annoying little sister getting into Amelia's stuff.

On top of that, I had totally forgotten how difficult dealing with an infant was.  The sleep deprivation.  The diapers.  The baby-proofing.  And all the stuff mentioned in my first paragraph.  On this hubby and I now agree:  we would have a lot more children if they were born with the "maturity" of a 2 year old.  Those first two years will wear you out!

As for having a boy, my husband would love one, too.  It's not going to happen biologically.  I'm not gestating any more children.  If he is dead set on a boy I'm more than willing to look into adoption.  Maybe we can pick out a nice 2 year old little boy for him to raise.  lol

my husband and his sister are the same age for a few months...

eeeekkkk

that means, his devil mom got pregant when he was still a few weeks old!  how crazy is that!?!  I couldn't imagine getting pregnant AGAIN while my insides were still nice and sore. 

I think, 1-2 years apart is nice... but then again, my daughter's already 11 years old, so I kind of missed THAT chance.  I don't think I'll have anymore because of THAT reason (one of the reasons, anyway)  

I know people who have kids that are 10 years apart, but I don't think I would want to start all over again... especially NOW.  After a certain age, tweens really don't want a little booger buggin' them all the time ;) 

Original Post by moodymomma1977:

my husband and his sister are the same age for a few months...

eeeekkkk

 I have a brother that's 11 months older than I am.  He was adopted.  I was an accident unexpected, happy surprise.

My girls are 20 months apart.  I found out that I was pregnant on my oldests 1st birthday.  At the time I was a little panicked, because the thought really hadn't crossed my mind to try again.( I was on the pill, and I thought I was being pretty dilligent, but I guess not enough!)  But after adjusting to the idea it has been great.  Now they are almost 4, and 2 and they are best friends, they love each other so much, and although it is challenging at times, I know that it will get easier, because they entertain each other.  Also, I didn't have to relearn all of the baby stuff, and I got a lot of use out of #1's clothes!

6 years. Was perfect, not so far apart they can't relate, not too near that they compete (too much)

Mine are 3 years apart.  Seemed to work out okay. 

I've heard that you should give your body a year to recover before you try again, but that's just what I've heard.  You might ask your doctor (OB-GYN) for advice on that. 

I had a neighbor who got pregnant with her second within 6 months of the first birth, and it caused problems. Her body wasn't ready. The second was born very premature.

I think bodies need time to heal, and then more time to get ready to carry again. Maybe a year total?

By the way, didn't you just have one just the other day?

My Girls are also 22 months apart, and it was alot of hard work in the beginning.  No they are 16 and 18 years old.  They have grown up friends and sisters and I wouldn't change a thing.  Except that in 2 years they will both be in College together

My kids are 366 days apart--I love it.  I didn't have to pack away all of the baby stuff then drag it all out again.

After the first one was born, DH and I started discussing birth control methods.   Well the method is partly determined by how long you want to remain "unpregnant."   I asked him how long he wanted to wait.  He asked me what do we have to wait for?  Hmmm...I'd always heard you're supposed to wait, but I didn't know for!  We decided to let nature take it's course.

My sisters kids are 6 years apart and she thinks that age spread is best.

So, you can feel good about having another child now or waiting.  There are pros and cons either way.

I always wanted my kids to be relatively close in age, but it just didn't happen, and now I'm happy it didn't! :) My daughters are 5 years apart and for us it is perfect.

I was on the mini-pill after my first, but I found out I was pregnant again when she was about 8 months old.  They are 17 months apart; the baby will be 1 in a few weeks and the oldest is almost 2 1/2.  It's crazy in my house right now, but we love it.  Jenna, my toddler, actually likes "teaching" Aly, the baby, stuff.  Aly loves following Jenna around and trying to copy everything she does.  I think each of them would be super bored without the other, and although I am pretty sure there will moments of intense competition between them, they seem like they are going to also be the best of friends.  I have a sister who is 22 months younger than me, and although we are complete opposites, we are very close.... not in the sense of going out together and such, but we always can talk to each other when we need someone who we know will understand and not judge.  A sister can be great for that, no matter how alike (or unalike!)  the two are.    On the other hand, I have a brother who surprised my parents when I was almost 10.  He is still in high school!  (A junior this year.)  I liked having him around; to this day, he thinks of me as a second mom   =)    Even though my parents are nearing their 50's and still have a teenager, I think they like it.  He seems to keep them feeling young, y'know rough-housing with my dad and keeping my mom's cell phone up-to-date   =)   

I was thinking four years was the perfect spacing.  I didn't want kid close together. First and foremost I am a firm believer in extended breastfeeding until at least age 2. ALL of my friends who became pregnant lost their breastfeedin relationship be the child was under the age one or 3 years of age.  So since that was important I knew I didn't want to get pregnant before my son reached the age of 2.

Now the next reason was I am a believer in co-sleeping and meeting a childs need with as little mother baby seperation in the first three years of life.  There's a lot of development that happens in the first three years of life and I think for a child to fully develop childern need their parents attention.  Because I co-sleep and offer as secure enviroment as possible for my DS three years was the benchmark for his development and let me tell you the age three in my house was no cake walk.

Finally, my own childhood has plenty to do with how I feel about child spacing. My sister and I was just a little less than two years part. IN fact our birth days were just 5 days from each other.  We forced to share every aspect of our child hood.  Everything from toys, beds, clothing, even personality traits (regardless of if they existed) we faught like cats and dogs.  All of this because we were kept one in teh same.  As teens we made if very clear that while we were sisters we weren't anything alike and didn't want to share any part of our friends and social circles.

With all of this I come to the conclusion of the perfect spacing for myself, that is 4 years.  4 years is plenty of time for the the needs of the first child to met in the sense of development and biological need. There's also a ravenous desire for independence at this age that is unlike anything I have experienced so far. My DS can and does hold his own at this age.  He does many things for himself I wouldn't have expected...for exampe fix his own drinks, food and gets himself dressed ect. 

 

Now for what I am doing with my own family we are DONE!!!  NO more childern.  Why because I really just want to get on with life.  I don't want to back pedal. I like that there's no such thing as sibling rivalry with one child.  I do have two step kids that come to visit on occasion and personally their relationship (albeit not their fault) drives me NUTS!!! 

 

Had my second 14 months after my first. I love that they are growing up together. Didn't have much time to loose all the weight I gained though!!

I have lost most of the weight now and my next baby is due in March.... will be 2.5 years after the last.....

My bro and I are 5 years apart though and got on great growing up too!

After my wife and I had our first lovely child i read that you should wait at least 18 months for your body to recover until you get pregnant  again.  I found this article online. 

http://www.webmd.com/news/20060418/pregnancy- spacing-affects-outcome

My children are 2 years and 8 months apart.  My son turns 3 in november and I am can't wait until he is potty trained so we'll only be changing diapers for one.  He also was still in his crib so we had to buy another one.  Both convert into a bed so it isn't a total loss.
We had to buy all new clothes since the new addition was a girl, but if you have your second the same time as the first then you can reuse the clothes.

I don't have any yet but I do plan on having them close together in age, hopefully only a year apart (unless I have twins the first go round)

I always planned on having 3 with 3 years in between. It was not to be, as I had my oldest, then 3 miscarriages over a 5 year timespan before successfully carrying and having my middle child.

Since a 6 year age difference wasn't really the plan (my oldest brother and I are 6 yrs apart and we fought terribly- I never wanted that for my own kids), I thought I'd better have the next asap. There are 18 months (but one calendar year) between my 2 youngest kids. I nursed my middle child until I was 5 months pregnant and then I just couldn't take him crawling up on my belly to nurse anymore! (that, and I wanted him weaned before the baby was born)

Everyone I knew that had kids that close together told me that they'd never do it again, and neither would I. I felt bad for my 18 month old "baby" that now had to be the grown up boy because there was another baby to care for. He still got lots of attention and mommy and him time, but an 18 mos child can walk vs a newborn who obviously has to be carried, and things like that. I found the first year very difficult.

On the plus side, my oldest son, who was 7 when my youngest was born, was a tremendous help to me!

I don't have any kids so my input probably doesn't have a lot of weight here but oh well!  I grew up as the oldest with a sister two years younger and a brother seven years younger.  My sister and I fought non-stop when we were growing up.  We were never close, we were always enemies.  She was always the annoying younger sister to me. I was always the snotty know-it-all older sister to her.  So, I told myself when I started having a family I would be sure the kids were at least 3+ years apart.  I really felt a maternal sort of relationship with my brother and really learned a lot because I was so grown up when he was young.  Today we are all very close.  My sister and brother are probably the two closet in our family.  They have a great relationship now and almost the entire time we were growing up.  So, based on that, I'm shooting for a 4-5 year difference in age. 

Although this will surely change by the time I actually have a child I'm sure!  I just wanted to say that closer in age doesn't automatically equal sibilings being close (or even liking eachother for that matter!)

The only thing for me is, I do not want two babies in diapers!  I have no idea how parents of multiples do it!!

My hubby wanted to concieve the next child this December, which would make our kids about 18 months apart. I told him that I wanted to enjoy my body before I got all pregger-belly! I said we'd try again when our son is about 18-20 months, which will be Oct-Dec 09. I have to take out my Implanon implant, so that might postpone our plans a bit.  

I don't have any kids yet but would prefer to have them cleser together. Maybe a year and a half to 2 years apart. My brother is 11 years older than me. I was a "suprise" my Moms way of saying accident. We weren't close growing up. I annoyed the crap out of him and loved every minute of it. We got close when I was 21 and would run into each other at bars. Eventually we started hanging out.