I did a squat and my thighs got so BULKY

Why are some women so delusional? Seriously?

Do they think the initial water rentention is muscle mass?

It seems like lately I've seen a ton of threads about how fast women think their thighs get "bulky"...  I just don't get it.

Strongman contest seems like your best option - best to cash in on your foolishness.

OKAY BUT I GUESS THAT MEANS I HAVE TO OIL UP - DOES BODY OIL CONTAIN CALORIES?

About as many as flavored lip gloss. So go easy.

OH MY GOD I USE THOSE IS THAT WHY MY FACE IS FLABBY?

Original Post by nomnom:

OMG U GUIZE I DID FIVE LUNGES AND NOW I LOOK LIKE CHARLES ATLAS WHAT DO I DO?  IF I START EATING AIR AND CIGARETTES NOW CAN I LOOK LIKE KATE MOSS BY AUGUST?  OR SHOULD I JUST GO TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN AND JOIN A STRONGMAN CONTEST?  OMG OMG OMG.

 Nomnom, you have made my day.

Original Post by sharpshootinstar:

 Nomnom, you have made my day.

Smashing!

Uh.

I mean - will that help me burn MOAR calories? 8O

No, but like if you eat ONLY YOGURT for three weeks you lose a bunch of weight. And sometimes you can have like, steamed grape skins.  But JUST THE SKINS CUZ THE FRUIT IS FATTENING.

No, you have to eat only asparagus. Its the new asparagus diet. Didntcha hear?

Because asparagus is long and skinny. See? You are what you eat.

Oh bother!  But I ate a whole grape last week!  Does this mean I'm going to gain five pounds?  If I don't eat today and tomorrow then i'll have, like, a lot of...not-calories right?  So that should make up for the grape?

But asparagus makes your pee smell funny and it has calories.  Should I just eat celery?  I hear celery burns calories.  I hate calories, awful, horrible, delicious calories. >:(

No, wait, I got it.  NEGATIVE CALORIE FOODS.  You can has celery!

I hear chicory is negative calorie too, so I've just been gnawing on the tree outside whenever I get really really hungry you know?

Oh wait.  That's hickory.

Uh oh.

I guess the upside is that i'll be producing my own wood chips. 8O

I am So excited!!!!!!  My latest Cosmo came today and they have a great new ab workout!  YAY!  I can get 6 pack abs in only 5 minutes a day!

This is the miracle I've been waiting for!  Check it out!!  With that workout and a colon cleanse, I will be strutting my stuff in no time!

I hear cosmo magazines are negative calorie.  Just don't eat the colour pages.

Or the perfume samples.  I totally made that mistake.

Is there a reason none of you buttholes messaged me about this thread?  jerks.

Original Post by spirochete:

Is there a reason none of you buttholes messaged me about this thread?  jerks.

 'Cause we know you lift heavy and we were afraid you'd try to push that on US!  EGADS!  We want LONG, LEAN muscles, not BIG, BULKY ones.... Or are you coming over to our side???

I'd be happy to teach you pilates, Spiro.

I was actually wondering yesterday why Spiro hasn't appeared here yet. Have you gotten so huge that you can't type anymore? (Like Arnold Schw./Conan, whose chest/arms were so big that he couldn't wield a sword properly)

Original Post by maha-kisa:

I was actually wondering yesterday why Spiro hasn't appeared here yet. Have you gotten so huge that you can't type anymore? (Like Arnold Schw./Conan, whose chest/arms were so big that he couldn't wield a sword properly)

Too much typing make my fingers so large they don't fit on the keyboard anymore

Maybe you guys can help me with a question I have:

I recently bought a copy of NROLFW. I haven't started the workouts yet, but the book is hard cover so it is really heavy. I carried it to the gym and back so I could read it on the elliptical, but now my arms are really huge and I look like a dude. I want to throw the book in the garbage so this can never happen again, but I'm afraid to pick it up off the floor. What can I do?

Thx!!!

I'm afraid you will just have to leave it on the floor - some strong man will come by and throw it out eventually, especially once he sees the smut that is written in it.