Just getting started...and ready to quit...

Hi you guys! My name is Violet I'm 5'7'' and I weigh 190 pds. I know that I'm not obese, but I am overweight and I have been for a long time now. This whole week I've been attempting to start a "diet", however by 3 p.m. I was chowing away on eggrolls and chocolate (iky combo :). I don't know why its so hard for me to be healthy. I feel SOO good about myself when I begin. I feel healthy and energetic, but then I start getting depressed and I begin eating. I mean obviously this is emotional and psychological, but I wonder why. I'm always so excited when I do something good for myself, like eat right or exercise, but by dinner I'm stuffing myself, thinking "I'll start again tomorrow." I'm thankful that I am not obese, however my weight does affect my confidence and happiness. Overtime I noticed myself hanging out with friends less and less. I'm in a deep rut, and I need motivation from people who understnd what I'm going through, not my super-fit/dancer/gymnast friend (who is insane, bc he thinks he can make a dancer out of me :) Any advice on how to get past this and start treating myself right? 

Violet, I couldn't relate to you more!   I'm totally a psychological eater too.  Unfortunately, I've gone way beyond overweight and am well into the obese range with it now.     You're not obese yet, which is awesome.  Just keep telling yourself that you don't want to make that struggle any harder than it has to be.  I certainly don't want to see you end up where I'm at.  I've got so far to go.

Anyway, I find that 3pm is a tough time for me too.   I don't think it's ALL psychological though.   Some of it may be physical hunger.   My 3:00 ride home from work used to be horrible!  I'd stop anywhere on the way home and just binge.  I've taken to keeping a 100 calorie pack of popcorn in the car just so I can tell my brain that I AM eating something, even if it isn't much.

Keep up with the exercise too.   It does help with the depression.  I noticed that when I stopped exercising, my motivation dwindled much more too.   You might also want to rethink how you plan your meals so that you can allow for more snacking throughout the day.  Maybe if you allow for more snacks, you can keep your hunger and craving levels a bit more stable.  

I hope that helps a bit.   Don't be afraid to write me if you need a sympathetic ear.   

Yip - I have started and restarted and then a month or two would go by and then I would start again etc etc.
I LOVE food.
I love everything about it from cooking it, to eating it, to sharing it with friends to watching The Cooking channel, too spending ages over a menu seeing all the options in my head. hehehehehe!!

It was the same with the exercise - start stop take a break start stop etc

But what I did find happening to me was that each time I started I was on it for that bit longer than the previous time, and so the months carried on and eventually I was so used to starting that I ended up not stopping. :))
I'm not a great person for change, its something that I have had to work on over the years, so I believe it was almost like my mind and body were getting used to the idea and then all of a sudden voop I ended up changing my lifestyle!

It took a really long time - but it happened.

And now after each workout session and I feel the muscles all tight, and i look in the mirror and I have definition it motivates me even more. But I do pig out - I used to pig out quite big but now I've found that when i pig out now the portion size has def become smaller so its not even the hugest pig out at the end of the day.

I really love the idea that pixieninja mentioned about the popcorn - its filling and not 'bad' - you just need to get over the hump of that craving at 3pm - once you break the back of it it usually goes away. So by eating the popcorn makes you feel like you are eating something.

And every craving you 'defeat' the easier it gets, its almost like youre building up confidence in your assertiveness. And then that voice telling you that you really want more cheese on that pasta starts to get softer and softer, and easier to brush off.
one day I hope the voice will altogether disappear :)

Will have to wait and see.

So basically, keep trying, it will all come together. :P

P.S And also - if you wanna chat - you can also drop me a line anytime!

I think you need to take it more gently.  Too many changes too quickly can leave you feeling overwhelmed and depressed.  It could be that you start by not trying to lose weight but simply by eating more healthily.  Making better choices but still aiming for food to be tasty and filling.   If your 'diet' is full of boring, bland, unsatisfying foods the egg-rolls and chocolate will win every time.  You need 2300 cals roughly to maintain your weight and, if you get that from plenty of vegetables, wholegrains and other good foods it's a positive banquet.  So I would suggest you start there.  Eat/snack regularly so that you have a nice, steady stream of energy to work with and you don't feel hungry.

Another suggestion is to make an actual plan.  A menu for the day.  Some people find it helps to have the day's food written down in advance rather than play it by ear and go with what feels right at the time...  Good intentions become 'good actions' instead.

Once you're in a good healthy eating habit, that would be the time to trim the calorie intake a little.  Same applies to exercise.  If you'd be happy to go for a short walk each day.... that's good.   Not necessary to be a bun-busting gymnast to have a healthy lifestyle!!

Good luck

I've found it really helpful to take a walk every time I feel that 3 pm craving - just something to get out of the house and away from those delicious 300+ calorie snacks I always seem to have lying around! I've also found the fresh air a fun way to exercise, and a good opportunity to think through my eating habits/plan a healthy snack when I get back. Along those lines, finding anything you really enjoy to do whenever you feel the urge to pig out is always a great way to distance yourself from food and think through what you eventually decide to eat a bit more. In all, keeping busy is great in that it takes the focus away from the food and lets you consider what you eat a little more objectively. 

Good luck! :)

I really struggled with the 3 pm time slot too.  For me, eating MORE for breakfast and lunch helped a lot.  I just seem to do better with a lighter dinner and bigger breakfast and lunch.  Usually by the time I get home I only have 400 cals or so left for dinner.  But it forces me to eat the veggies I should- so I don't feel deprived.  I also have dessert.  Ok - it's just sugar free jello and coolwhip free.  But it gives me a little something for my late night sweet tooth. 

Maybe you should identify what is depressing you, and when you reach for eggrolls and chocolate, try to choose instead something that makes you happy. Maybe even journal on here when you feel those cravings come around. Also, try and make your own healthy versions of the foods you crave and eat them in moderation. Perhaps instead of seeing your friends less and less when you are feeling negative about yourself, confide in them about how you are feeling. That way, you are being social and helping yourself not eat out of sadness.

pixieninja:thank you so much for your reply. I know that I have to combat my hunger somehow, but sometimes I don't even have the energy to do it. Your idea with the popcorn is great. It's tasty AND filling. Also, I'm trying to exercise, but again, somedays are really blah, so I don't do it. However, exercise does help me relax and unwind and feel more energized as well. I guess it helps talking to people like you to help me stay motivated! Good luck in your journey as well. (I will definately take you up on your offer, I just hope your eyes don't fall out when I'm done complaining:) Thanks.

stlc: Well, that's one thing we have in common! I love food as well and I want to enjoy it without feeling guilty all the time. Unfortunately, that's hard for me to do because my mindset is: "If it tastes good, then it probably bad for me." That's really stupid, I know. Thanks for your support. I hope you continue doing well and treating yourself right so that I can follow in your footsteps. My ultimate goal is to be a size 6:) (I don't like scales, but I plan to lose at least 50 pounds overall) Thanks and good luck!

gi-jane: You're definately right! I always think I have to jump in full force into stuff like this. However, that makes me quit faster. Right now I'm just trying to follow your advice and start slower. I think that exercise is a good thing to start with. After I exercise, I don't even want to eat bc I don't want to ruin my hard work. All in all, I just try to make sure I fill myself with fruits and vegetables. They're yummy and low-cal. Another one of my favorites is salmon and this cold Russian soup with lots of veggies. If you would like the recipe, I can message it to you. It's very healthy and it is a favorite with Russian people. Again, thank you for your support:) Good luck.

mcar21: Thank you for your advice. I used to be so keen on taking walks every night before bed (I'm a nightime walker, love looking at the stars), however even this good habit stopped. I will probably start walking again. To me walking isn't even like exercise, I enjoy it so much. Also, I think that planning meals ahead of time is a great idea. At times I don't even notice or remember what I eat. Planning will help me have an objective view. I think gi-jane mentioned a menu. I think I will use that idea. :) Thank you so much for your support! Good luck!

madamq: Wise words. There's this Russian quote that my dad always told me: Eat breakfast alone, share lunch with a friend, and give your dinner away to an enemy. (Of course it rhymes in Russian:). It's a really wise idea to eat a good filling breakfast and lunch and eat a light dinner. Btw, I love jello! So that would be a good desert for me since I enjoy it so much! Thanks for your support. Good luck!

plankcm: Yeah, I noticed that the more introverted I become, the LESS I want to lose weight. Going out with friends will help me feel happy and good about myself which in turn will help me want to do good things for my body:) Thank you for your support! Good luck!

At about 3pm everyday I have a glass of chocolate milk. It's lowfat milk with sugar free nesquik, but it's the indulgent feeling I need to make it through the afternoon. At night I eat 2 squares of dark chocolate for the same reason.

One thing that helps me is a rough plan of everything I want to eat in a day. All healthy, all things I love, and lots of it (new recipes are great too). Most days I don't make it through it all, I just find having reasonablly healthy foods that I really look forward to throughout the day makes me focus less on cravings and dieting, and I'm honestly enthusiastic for dinner time.

That's a great idea! Chocolate milk is low fat and it give me the satisfaction I need. I love chocolate! Thanks:)