starting to date .... at 25!!!

Yes......its ture.  i'm 25 and i've never dated.  recently i've found myself in a situation where i am meeting a lot more guys my age than i did in the past and i'm starting to be asked out a lot.  i'm defnitely more than ready to date but at this point i'm nervous about what people will think when they find out about my limited history.  i've only made out with one guy and it was someone i didnt know drunk in a bar!!   

how do you explain to someone that you are 25, reasonably attractive (IMHO loool), smart, well educated, social----and have never dated?

the real reasons for me are that i used to be extremely, painfully shy until i was about 21 or 22. since then i've been first living at home not meeting new people, then working in a different city but in an indutry with virtually no men.  i'm going to get my MBA soon and i know there will be a lot more guys there.  i'm outgoing and ready to date now, but i'm sure i'll turn guys away when they find out i never have before.

any advice??  please don't think i'm weird.....

I'm also painfully shy with a limited social history, so I know where you're coming from!

What I've found is that.. yeah, people will think you're weird for not really wanting to talk about your past (because it's boring XD), or think you have a weird personality for it. But what matters is that if you don't let it bother you, you'll find someone who loves you for your personality and doesn't care about your past, then all those people who didn't like you for you won't really matter. You just have to keep at it and not let anyone talk down to you about your past!

And MBA, wow good for you!

Weird?  Nah, I'm 23 and I've never dated.  I was a fairly chubby all through High School and didn't have any motivation to date.  I'm also a geek and a gamer, not in that order.  Dungeons and Dragons, StarCraft, and Lan Parties don't really attract the ladies.  :D

You want advice though?  Hrm....I don't really have any good dating advice, unless there was a zombie apoclypse, I think I have a lot of good information to use for dating during one of those.  :O

It's been my experience that you don't talk about your past relationships at the beginning of a new one.  That's for later when things are getting more serious.  At that point they like you for you (unless you are seeing a butthead) so it doesn't matter.

Zombie Apocalypse Dating Tips:

1.  Check all potenital dates for rashes or bite marks before agreeing to go out with them.
2.  While under attack it is not wise to sneak off to fornicate.

Original Post by jewelsmcblah:

Zombie Apocalypse Dating Tips:

1.  Check all potenital dates for rashes or bite marks before agreeing to go out with them.
2.  While under attack it is not wise to sneak off to fornicate.

 Both are good. 

3.  Aiming ability usually replaces kissing ability.

When dating, most people don't want to know each others histories straight away. Unless they are really nosey. So, don't worry about it.

When talking about it, just gloss over it, say you didn't really care/have time to/ whatever. People say a lot of things. When you find what you're looking for, you will know what to say. Plus most guys i know don't play 20 questions on dating history.

Hey, good for you getting asked out a lot! Enjoy it!

i would have thought letting them know ahead of time would be a good idea? that way he would try to move too quickly or be more understanding?

i would also think that for women, being new to things is a bonus (in the mans eyes)....?

heck, i'm about to be 34 and still haven't dated at all.  and unfortunately that isn't by choice in my case.  just lots and lots of rejection.

.

I really don't think not dating before will be a problem.  You certainly don't need to volunteer the information, but if the topic comes up just be honest and say that you haven't dated extensively because you were painfully shy as a teenager and in your early 20s.  Any decent guy is NOT going to think less of you for being honest about being shy!  It's not like you have leprosy! lol.

kinda in the same boat here. i'm 20 and haven't rally dated before. there's one guy i'm sort of talking to  now. we haven't discussed past relationships but i'm guessing he'll be okay with it.

i've asked some of my (guy) friends about it. they said either they don't care, or it's a plus. (no crazy exes or being compared to other people.)

Dating doesn't have to be this really hard thing that takes practice.  I mean, you definitely have friends right?  So go out and act like you do with a friend, only you might just get a special treat at the end (oh calm down, I'm talking about a kiss)

If they ask you about your dating history (and I can't think of too many ways they could without seeming rude/nosey) then just be really vague.  Mysterious is sexy, lol.

But I mean, while I'm all for mysterious, you could just tell them.  Most guys would probably think it's adorable, or breathe a sigh of relief because you won't be comparing them to your passed dates.

you don't have to tell them anything. just leave it at "i don't have a lot of relationship experience" and drop it. the guy shouldn't wanna get into specifics anyway. and when you do get serious with a guy, and you get to the inevitable, just be honest with him and say what you said here, that you only really came into yourself just recently, so you don't have any sexual experience. if he's truly sex-worthy, he won't have a problem with that. some guys might even be glad to hear it, at the very least b/c it means you don't have any stds. btw, don't ruin your clean slate with a germy guy. make him get tested before you have sex. and maybe get tested yourself, as a show of good faith. you know he'd be your first, but he only has your word. physical proof (test results) are even better.

Original Post by frokusblakah:

3.  Aiming ability usually replaces kissing ability.

 xD That's hilarious.  Or: I just play too much Left for Dead 360Live.

Don't worry about it!

I'm only a few years younger than you, and though I have dated in the past, I haven't had a serious boyfriend until recently. My inexperience definitely doesn't bother him and he's been completely fine with the situation.

If a guy you're dating reacts poorly when you tell him about your lack of a dating history, just move onto someone else. Trust me, there will be plenty of guys who won't find it weird and probably even like it.

Original Post by yuyu2:

i'm outgoing and ready to date now, but i'm sure i'll turn guys away when they find out i never have before.

The reality is that it seriously goes both ways. In modern times, people are conditioned to feel awkward about it.  It's something people struggle with on both sides of the spectrum.

Lets face it: Everyone lies. ( It's what they choose to lie about that concerns me. Lol. )

Jezebel is over-rated.   ( btw:There wasn't a smiley with devil horns. =-P )

Virgin Mary also over-rated.

Nobody wants to be considered either one! It may seem difficult but I'd just be honest about your circumstances. Upfront. I'd suggest that you accept the fact with unconditional love of your status. Love/Accept yourself. The foundation of any relationship is based on trust. I'd just be honest going into any relationship about your stats. There's nothing to be ashamed of in all actuality. (Remember: Be cautious because people lie. This means that you should be sure to protect yourself sexually/emotional/money wise/Ect. This sounds like a silly warning but seriously. Don't allow yourself to be used by anyone due to low XP. )

On the bright side: People often feel insecure about their status. It usually has nothing to do with a potential partner. It doesn't matter which side of the spectrum they're on either. Consider this: Would you want a potential partner to see you as a loose woman or one of low moral standards? A "Jezebel." Probably not. It would be just as concerning as your position now. ( Possibly more so... Lol ) Some women are considered a Jezebel for simply being rebellious/non traditional. Some women haven't been around the block much at all.... Yet are considered one by their judgmental peers. 

In all reality some guys will actually be turned on by the fact. ( I wouldn't be flattered by it though. ) It's a misconception guys are only turned on by those with a lot of XP. There is something to be said for purity as well. It isn't always so they can marry you/sweep you off your feet though. Some guys simply want to be someone's first, ect. They want to use someone that doesn't have much experience so be cautious. It's can be a turn on/off for multiple reasons. Some of which are honorable... some aren't at all. A typical turn off is that newbies are antsy so run/scare easy. Or: Cling very quickly. They either fishtail at the sign of anything minor/mundane that arises. Or: Refuse to calm down/take it slow/give the other person space. They want/need ' forever promised/ quick advancements /reassurment ' right away/ or 24/7, ect. 

Pros: Untapped/no expectations/ no comparing/no stds/not jaded by men/ect. There are a lot of pros/cons either way in honesty. It makes you fresh/newbie in a lot of regards. Some women/men lie to 'appear ' more desirable.

Sometimes if your XP level is too high that's a turn off too. Nobody wants to be considered the undesirable so some people...just lie. They up/down their XP level to whatever they deem respectable/desirable. Sometimes they don't even lie to meet their own quota of what's respectable/desirable. They lie so they appear to be what you consider respectable/desirable. Some women talk up their limited experience in order to appear schooled. ( Guys/Girls alike. )

I'd be honest.

Hey, You may a natural without experience! Or: The lack of it may work to your advantage in some ways. Who knows! Some people are just naturally good kissers, ect. Even though some people are just naturally bad at relationships/dating/kissing/ ect. Some people can peg a loser point blank and dismiss them asap. No effort. Whereas, some people defend/can't see through a guise/emotions so keep a loser/abuser around! :(

Some people need experience in order to learn. Or: Just waste time/effort building XP ...because they've yet to find the right person. ( Who knows though? You may meet the right person right off the bat. Or: A few losers in advance. Lol! Don't worry. )

Neither is without concern so take comfort in that. Don't cut yourself short because you aren't experienced . :)

We live and learn so either way just... Be true to yourself! & Have fun.

Original Post by frokusblakah:

Weird?  Nah, I'm 23 and I've never dated.  I was a fairly chubby all through High School and didn't have any motivation to date.  I'm also a geek and a gamer, not in that order.  Dungeons and Dragons, StarCraft, and Lan Parties don't really attract the ladies.  :D

You want advice though?  Hrm....I don't really have any good dating advice, unless there was a zombie apoclypse, I think I have a lot of good information to use for dating during one of those.  :O

 lol I'm pretty sure geeks/gamers are in. My boyfriend and all his friends (who are also my close friends - I dated in the circle heh) are LANing tonight. And starting a new D&D campaign tomorrow lol

I think it's very sweet that your still a Vegan! ;)  Seriously though...smart girl! And, honestly, you are worrying TOO much about it. Just live you life..see what happens..enjoy who you meet....have fun!