Starting kids early in school

In Italy you can decide when your kids start school. Most kids go to public pre-school from 3 to 6 years old. You can start a child in 1st grade as early as 5, the normal is 6 years. We have a pretty smart little girl who will turn 4 next week but she is already bi-lingual and can read some things and can write her name and a few other things. Her conversation level in Italian is about that of a 6/7 year old and on some issues, higher. My question is can it be harmful to a person’s development later in life if they start school early? She is already shorter than most of her peers, might it create problems as she grows if she is younger than all the kids in her grade and friends? I know each person has a different experience in life, but can starting school help/hurt a child? I have read a few things online, for both sides, anyone here have experience in this matter?

School just started for the year, we went and spoke to the teacher and told her that our daughter was already reading and writing some and asked if she would continue with her at school, she said no, that they did not help kids read/write until 6 years old. We have to say to the school soon if we want to advance her next year.

 

thanks

 

I was 4 when I started kindergarten. It made me feel a bit smarter going through school knowing I was younger than everything.
She's not too much younger that I think it would be a problem.

I was younger than everyone too.  My sister and I started early.  We had each other, but that didn't matter.  We each had our own friends.  I don't think that the age is going to make a difference.  Don't hold her back, if you feel she is ready, then do what you think is right! Good Luck!

I was the youngest in my class of about 350. It wasn't a problem. It made me feel smarter sometimes too that I could be younger than everyone and still keep up and/or be ahead of the others in the class. I skipped kindergarten and started directly in 1st grade.

I think if she was a he, I could deal with this much easier. Not knowing what girls go through. I am sure that I am worrying for no reason. I think I am more worried about the female issues, like getting her first menstrual or body changing  a year behind her friends and those type of issues. Do girls care about that kind of thing? I guess by the time she reaches pre teen or teen years, she will already have adjusted to being younger than the rest. Her brother is only 2 now, she is 4 but going to school will put them father apart if she is three grades ahead...oh well.. guess I will have allot more stuff to worry about later lol.. thanks

 

I always wished I'd started earlier cos I was always ahead and felt like I was being held back until uni. If I'd been a year younger coming to uni I wouldn't have been legal to drink or go to pubs/clubs unlike the rest of the year which would make social aspects and making new friends difficult but that's much later on. Also I think this would depend on legal age in country and age starting uni/college or whatever. They happen to coincide here but elsewhere say US-college at 18, drinking at 21-maybe less of an issue? Skipping years is less common in the UK than US I think. I know a few people who repeat years but barely any who skip.

My daughter started slightly early.  The only problem we ran into was the emotional maturity at times.  We not really a problem just a challange.

I thought I'd add...since boys and girls, and every individual child matures both emotionally and physically at slightly different rates and ages anyway I can't see this being too much of a problem. She isn't *that* far off age-wise.

My cousin was in the same position and they started her early.  When she graduated high school, she was not emotionally mature enough to go to college as she was only 15/16 and most are usually 18/19.  She ended up dropping out and working for two years and is starting back now and doing much better.  That could have more to do with her family life so it's hard to tell, just sharing my experience. 

I think I am more worried about the female issues, like getting her first menstrual or body changing  a year behind her friends and those type of issues. Do girls care about that kind of thing?

I started later than my friends and I was stoked. I wish it would've lasted a couple more years before I'd started menstrating. haha

I'm with ali on this as well. Since I was the youngest girl in my class the other girls went through the changes first so I wasn't ever the first to experience something, which was great. Others gave me their advice and told me what exactly would happen so I was more prepared and at ease.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I don't think it's much of an issue with a girl.  Girls mature faster then boys, especially at that age.  My youngest son's birthday is in December and when he was little you could start your child in Pre-Kl as long as he or she would turn 4 that year.  He was, in effect, a year younger than the other children and at that age the difference was very pronounced.  Eventually he did catch up with his peers, but it was very traumatic for both of us until he did.  Now I think they have to be 4 by the time school starts in order to start Pre-K which would have been a much better situation for us.  With a girl, I don't think you'll have that issue because girls are more mature at that age than boys are.  As far as the timing of the onset of puberty, well that's just up to Nature.  Some girls start early and some late. You could conceivably start her in school a year late and she could still start puberty after her friends.  I wouldn't worry about that too much.  I think it would be worse if there's insufficient intellectual stimulation at this age because it could cause other problems later on.

I skipped a couple of years in school and I'm glad I did.  I think had I been held back I would have been exceptionally bored and I would have had no interest at school (i've got the attention span of a goldfish as it is!)

Emotionally it never seemed to cause me any probs either.  Because I was quite young I simply adapted to the age group around me.  And I agree with moonikins too...when it came to periods and other girly things I had a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips because a lot of my friends were there before me!

Way too many people in the US hold their children back that extra year to make sure their child is ready. A lot of it with boys has to do with sports and not wanting your boy to be the youngest for sports. Don't fall for that bull.

My son's birthday is in late August. He started K on time and then 1st on time. Many many people told us to hold him back for sports reasons. We refused because he was socially and more than academically ready for 1st grade. He ended up having to repeat 1st grade because he had difficulty learning how to read. Then he ended up skipping 7th grade because he was so far advanced above his peers in maturity and intellect. He was almost the youngest one in his class and it didn't affect him at all.

I started school a year earlier than everyone else and I've always loved it. I was very proud of being a year younger than everybody and yet still able to excel in my classes. It also gave me extra motivation to prove myself and do well. ALSO, now that I'm in college and I've decided to switch majors, I don't feel bad starting over, because I was younger than everybody else anyways. I could've taken a gap year if I wanted. It just left a lot of options open for me. And the times that girls develop and start their period vary by person anyways; I ended up starting my cycle around the same time as most of my peers. That stuff is hard to predict, and therefore shouldn't really be a deciding factor.

Overall, I'm sure whatever decision you make will be fine; you sound like a very loving and concerned father and that's really all a kid could ask for. :)

In ontario, my province kids start junior kindergarten the year they turn 4.  So in september you can have kids 4yrs 9months and as young as 3 yrs 9 months.  Some of the older kids arent ready and visa versa.  I feel just start them the yr they are allowed to start school

I really like your topic. My husband and I were in Italy in June and as far as we could see, there were few children and no schools (we spent most of our time in Rome, but also went to Pisa and Venice).

Maybe we only saw what tourists see, but it appeared that most adults of childbearing years had no children (there would be no room on their scooter!)

Do the schools tend to be in residential areas or on the outskirts of the cities?

Totally start her early! I started a year early because I just loved learning and wanted to start school more than anything, and I never had problems. Menstruation and puberty are not a big worry, just to emphasize how varying it is for different people, I had a friend who started her cycle when she was in the 5th grade, and I had a friend who started hers when she was a senior in highschool! I was kind of a late developer and my friends and I joked about it, but it wasn't ever a negetive thing. I think she'll be fine :] If you keep her out of school until next year she might get bored easily or feel held back since she'll be learning even more for the next year, and she'll probably be more advanced than the students in her class, and that can lead to problems!

I don't think it'll be bad at all to start her a little early.  As a kid in elementary school and high school I was one of the ones picked on a lot and didn't have many friends so I know from experience that it didn't have anything to do with my age.  I was the same age as almost everyone in my classes and saw no one picking on people older or younger.  My friend got her period in the 5th grade, everyone else got it gradually after that and that also didn't seem to be an issue at all (i didn't get it until mid 8th grade and i was so glad it waited until then).  I think she will just be bored once she gets into the higher grades and the material she's studying is too easy for her, that's where she'll get into trouble.  I think that's why I got picked on a lot actually, because I got good grades.  (i had a mean teacher who used to announce my grade to the class b/c i always did good when they did bad...i even got a 99 out of 100 on a test and he made me retake it with the rest of the class because they all did really bad...i ended up getting a 100, but i really considered doing bad in class just so he'd stop pointing out my grades).  So anyway, best if you put her in early.

Thanks to all.. it really helps to hear it from those who have gone before. A few people mentioned starting pre-k at 4.. here they start pre K at 2 or 3 and it is paid for by the state. My question was about 1st grade and I think from you all I feel safe getting her started early. Queenmedia.. there is a huge baby boom going on here for the last 5 years or so. There are tons of schools in every city, perhaps the reason you did not notice them, is there is a huge lack of playgrounds and parks so the kids are inside at school. Also they only go to school in the morning. Everyone in the south goes home for lunch. It is nice to see so many fathers there to pick up the kids from school. Everyone eats lunch together and the kids dont go back to school in the afternoon. Lunch is at 1 pm. The downside is school is from monday to saturday.. This makes it very hard to get away for a weekend, but they make up for it by having alot of holidays. They start the kids here real early in school, but in the end, the schools are not very good. For sure my kids will go to college either in the UK or back in the states.

 

hrosent1 said....

Overall, I'm sure whatever decision you make will be fine; you sound like a very loving and concerned father and that's really all a kid could ask for. :)

thanks for that.....