Starting to lose the motivation to gain.

I don't know if its just a weekend funk that I am in or what.  But I have lost my drive right now.  I know that I want and need to gain weight, but looking in the mirror I am only seeing my face getting fat and stomach getting/feeling fatter.  I know this is typical and everyone has to deal with it, but that combined with no motivation or drive to exercise and better myself only makes it worse.  I don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated.  This seems like it would be appropriate for a journal rather than open forum and in retrospect it probably should have been posted in the health/support foum, sorry.

maybe you need to go to bed and just wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready to conquer the day. eat something new and exciting...keep things original and fresh so you don't get bored and it doesn't seem like a chore to eat but rather an adventure. plan your meals for tomorrow and picture all the wonderful flavors. think about eating a warm, sweet bowl of oatmeal with berries mixed in and brown sugar on top, pour some cold milk over the top and use your spoon to eat it layer by layer, allowing the sweetness to go into the milk, that gets just warm enough from the hot oats. oh so yummy. food is pleasurable and enjoyable. if you don't overcome this you are denying youself a huge portion of pleasure in life as well as diminishing the quality of life you are destined to have because you are not at a healthy weight nor is your mind healthy. you aren't thinking logically and maybe it might help to think of each day as an adventure. think of the great things about eating and recovery. think about living each day with the people you love without all the tension and strange feelings because they're worried about you. this is really something that you deserve and you've worked so hard already to begin to overcome these feelings and i know you can do it with a little effort. just hang in there!! :)

I know how you feel. Just keep on going so your body learns to trust you. It's possible that the 'fat' you're seeing is your ED telling you it's there, don't listen to it! I've found that I've actually become more comfortable with the weight I've gained, even though initially I felt massive. You'll adjust to it and realise you still need to gain and get healthy :)

Come on Os, back on that road. You know you have to get there sooner or later. Not exercising should not be a problem - it's not recommended you exercise until you reach a healthy BMI, so don't stress it.

I understand and hear the feelings you have. Can you remind yourself the facts? Like if you are underweight by the numbers then you need to gain and our view in the mirror is off. If you are undereating regardless of number you are putting yourself at risk for health issues. Sometimes if I write the facts down I can view things in a more rational way. On days like you are having I try to pre plan my meals and snacks and do something to distract myself like go to a movie etc. Hope you are feeling better

I know, I know.  I just feeling a little better right now.  As lame as it always sounds, I just sometimes need to hear the facts from other people, itsalways reassuring.  And I know don't exercise until you get to a healthy bmi, but man being inactive sucks, and then on top of that not having the motivation to be active sucks even more...  anyway went for a light bike ride today and I think that helped, got a little fresh air and some sunshine.  thanks again though for the words of encouragement, I hate asking for it, but it does help.  I don't know what I would do without CC and its dedicated members.

maybe lala will move it to health and support for you without becoming overly ruffled.  i totally hear what youre saying and can relate.  right now, food is not about enjoyment for me.  i'm hoping if i keep pushing myself that things like that will come naturally in time.  your face and stomach look bigger because of water retention.  refeeding precipitates sometimes dramatic fluid shifts and can make you look puffy.  i know, totally sucky.  i'm embarrassed by changes in my body and wish i could wear a cardboard box so nobody around me could see them (i obsess over what others can see, which is totally an unproductive expenditure of energy)!  hopefully one of these days i'll start to embrace the process, but until then, i've got to keep pushing based on blind trust! and you do too.  you're not alone.  it's hard. i think it will get easier with time. much love.

Hey osainto you are definitely not alone on this one.  I too have lost almost all motivation to continue to gain this weekend.  I just had a weekend of turkey hunting camp hell.  I though that I was doing good bye gaining a little bit of weight, and thought I was looking healthier but apparently its not good enough for certain members of my family.  To make a long story short I ended up getting razzed by my older brother all weekend.  Getting called names like skeletor, or scarecrow, or whatever little childish name he could think of.  But enough of my rant. 

The thing is that we should stay motivated not for anyone else but for ourselves. We need to strive to get healthier.  My best advice is find the one person in your life that is fully confident in your recovery and talk to them.  I just sat down and had a heart to heart talk with my Dad over dinner, and now I feel a little better about my situation.  Other than that just keep on remembering how much you want to be healthier and stronger.  Keep your head up and drive on.

I can relate to needing to be reassured and it is good to reach out so you should be proud and look at how many can relate. I will say as I have done refeeding in the past there are times like this and it sucks. I wish there was an easy answer other then to stay strong cause you don't want to have to keep going through this. Once you get to a healthy point this won't be a focus. It can be a job to gain so to speak mind and body.

Tqhitt24 I am sorry about your family. I uderstand as I have some members that are very critical and negative. I try to use my voice and though they still repeat there actions it helps me to get it off my chest. I try to focus on the supports I do have like you did with your dad. You are right this is about your health and life.

About being inactive yet not having the motivation to be active... I am exactly the same! You might find when you reach a healthy weight you are more motivated. I am certainly hoping that's the case! Maybe you could use reaching a healthy weight and being 'allowed' to exercise as motivation to gain?

Yeah I sure hope that when I get up there in weight, that I will start to retain a somewhat normal lifestyle, with regards to physical activity and this mental funk I have been in and out of...

Original Post by osainto:

Yeah I sure hope that when I get up there in weight, that I will start to retain a somewhat normal lifestyle, with regards to physical activity and this mental funk I have been in and out of...

 I think you will. This process of recovery with weight gain and lifes issues is stressful. Like you my mental state is all over the place. Give yourself time.With all changes even good ones there is an adjustment time. Try to focus on life goals you want to gain. Have you been feeling a little better?

watch this video. it can increase your motivation.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUkcB8sEncg