How do you stay motivated when life crumbles around you?

I've only be trying to lose weight since early Febrary. So far it's gone pretty well. Lost 15 lbs, started at 155, and want to get to 125 (maybe even 120). But this week has been the pits. I interviewed for an advancement position at my job and they hired someone from the outside instead. Some people at our church forced our youth director to resign (still don't know the reason). It's been raining all week so I can't really get out and walk. I think my period is coming early..... It just keeps getting worse.

Last night I ate chicken nuggets and mozarella sticks for supper. It wasn't all that horrible, but I feel yucky today and really feel like crying and giving up and eating a whole bag (like the super mega size) peanut M&Ms.

I could use some encouragement.

Hang in there! You have been doing so good, don't let the outside word determine how you feel inside!

Just remember you've come a long way by losing 15 pounds since February.  That's a huge accomplishment and I'm proud of you for doing that.

When I feel bad and I want to eat a lot of junk, I just think that eating my way through my problems will just add to my problems and make me feel worse.  So, I e-mail my friends, read a good book, look for a funny movie to watch, or try and stay busy.  Sometimes, I just go to my room, shut the door, and crawl under the covers and cry or try to sleep.  After a while, I get bored of feeling bad and find something to do to keep me busy.  But I try to avoid doing anything in the kitchen.

Just hang in there.  Sad and bad days will pass.  I have my funky times too and thinking about how temporary it is gets me through it.

Hi earlhamcrouch,

I'm sorry to hear things are not going so well for you, especially the advanced position at your job. 

There are alternative things you can eat rather than junk food when you are stressed or sad.  For example, eating a cup of low fat yogurt or 2 tablespoon of mixed nuts can help reduce your anxiety. Why?  The magic is in the two amino acids; lysin and arginine.

You can also add a tablespoon of ground flaxseed to your snack.  Flax is the best source of alphalinoleic acid which can improve the working of your cerebral cortex.  Basically, it will help make you not sad! 

I got these tips from the book, Eat This Not That.  I bought it for $20.00 at Borders.  When I bought additional copies for my family and friends they were $15.00 at Barnes and Noble.  You can order them online from Amazon.com, and it will cost you $10.00.  So if you can wait 3-7 days, spend your gas money on the shipping from Amazon.com, otherwise pick it up from your closest bookstore.

Thank you all. I know 'this too shall pass' I just want it too sooner rather than later.

The part about eating nuts makes sense to me since I do seem to crave peanut M&Ms when things are out of sorts for me. I think I'll try that today. I've never used flaxseed. Can I find it in the regular grocery store or do I need to go to a health food or specialty shop? Does it 'taste' or is it just an texture addative (as well as nutrition)?

I think I'll look for the book. It never hurts to read more.

Original Post by earlhamcrouch:

Thank you all. I know 'this too shall pass' I just want it too sooner rather than later.

The part about eating nuts makes sense to me since I do seem to crave peanut M&Ms when things are out of sorts for me. I think I'll try that today. I've never used flaxseed. Can I find it in the regular grocery store or do I need to go to a health food or specialty shop? Does it 'taste' or is it just an texture addative (as well as nutrition)?

I think I'll look for the book. It never hurts to read more.

Walmart sells the Flaxseeds in the dietary supplement section.  It is a big black bottle, really hard to miss!  I sprinkle it on my dinner salads and as well my breakfast cereal.  I seen the powder version of it at Target. 

I've said posted this before, but my girlfriends and I love it, so I'll post it again.

1) Gather a big armload of books (anything heavy).

2) Weigh yourself normally

3) Slowly pick up the books, continue until the scale reads you old weight (the books represent the progress you've made)

4) Proudly display the books out in the living room, on a separate shelf in your bookcase, or within view of the kitchen.

Whenever you are feeling depressed, frusterated, or like you're about to binge, look at the books.  Over the month watch the stack grow as you lose more.  Put the books in a backpack and walk around with them for a few minutes, feel how heavy they are, how they imped you movement, then take them off, feel how much lighter you now are.

This helps me, and my girlfriends deal with hard days.  It's also an excuse to own a ton of books!

Remember that if food didn't cause the problem, food won't fix it.  I repeat this phrase in my head all the time!

When I was learning to play the flute, and I was trying to do something difficult for me, whenever I got frustrated I went back and played Mary Had a Little Lamb, just to show myself that I *could* play at all.  I think it applies to a lot of life - sometimes things are hard, and frustrating, and upsetting, and sometimes it helps to go back and do something you KNOW you can do, to prove to yourself you're still a great person.

Me?  I like to learn new things.  I recently picked up some books, some needles, and some yarn, and taught myself to knit.  I'm very proud of the progress I've made, and even when everything else sucks, at least I can say "Hey!  I knitted something!  I rock!"  Confidence in your accomplishments can do a lot to boost your mood :)

Good luck, though.  It's hard not to beat yourself up when things go wrong - and believe you me, eating a bunch of junk food is just as much beating yourself up as kicking yourself :)

Original Post by sroscoe:

I've said posted this before, but my girlfriends and I love it, so I'll post it again.

1) Gather a big armload of books (anything heavy).

2) Weigh yourself normally

3) Slowly pick up the books, continue until the scale reads you old weight (the books represent the progress you've made)

4) Proudly display the books out in the living room, on a separate shelf in your bookcase, or within view of the kitchen.

Whenever you are feeling depressed, frusterated, or like you're about to binge, look at the books.  Over the month watch the stack grow as you lose more.  Put the books in a backpack and walk around with them for a few minutes, feel how heavy they are, how they imped you movement, then take them off, feel how much lighter you now are.

This helps me, and my girlfriends deal with hard days.  It's also an excuse to own a ton of books!

 Also, I think this is really cool :)

I am so sorry you had a bad time. I will tell you something. your story is very very similar to mine.

I had a relapse for a few months because last Oct I didn't get an offer that I was really looking for. I felt so bad and I ate unhealthy.

Now, after gaining almost 20-25 pounds, I think about it and it was just a bad period. Now, I am back on track.

Move on. try to stay on your diet. try new things. Flaxseed is great if you buy it from health stores. I would recommed the flaxseed itself not the supplements because it has more fiber.

Also, I bought a great book from borders last week about emotional eating. I can't remember the title right now but if you are interested, I will send you more info.

Feel better. Best of luck. We are here for you. I am sure you will get a better job and remember that everything happens for a reason.

S-

I've got my bag of veggies sitting on desk today and it just isn't doing it! I'm going to run home over lunch today and get those nuts! And the blackberries in my fridge are calling my name...

I'll just keep trying. Maybe I can my hubby to go to mall with me tonight for a walk. If I go by myself I think I'll shop, which won't help my financial diet at all.

safina 1 if you find the name/author of that book I'd like to take a look.

Thanks all.

sure. will do that. please don't be hard on yourself. It will be ok. I know how you feel. I have been there before.

OK. So I had a big lunch, so much I couldn't eat it all. But I'm still real good for my daily calories. I feel better. Thanks for all your support.

Well, I have a lot of things going on lately (won't get into details), most of it I can't control, which what gets me down sometimes.  It sounds like you might be dealing with the same basic problem.

I stay motivated by reminding myself that what I eat and when I exercise IS something that I can control.  Whatever else is going on, within the chaos I still say what goes in my body.  And the exercise really helps with stress - I like kickboxing, and images of the faces and/or things in front of my fist or foot is a remarkable stress releaver.

Good luck!  It'll get better!

Original Post by earlhamcrouch:

I've only be trying to lose weight since early Febrary. So far it's gone pretty well. Lost 15 lbs, started at 155, and want to get to 125 (maybe even 120). But this week has been the pits. I interviewed for an advancement position at my job and they hired someone from the outside instead. Some people at our church forced our youth director to resign (still don't know the reason). It's been raining all week so I can't really get out and walk. I think my period is coming early..... It just keeps getting worse.

Last night I ate chicken nuggets and mozarella sticks for supper. It wasn't all that horrible, but I feel yucky today and really feel like crying and giving up and eating a whole bag (like the super mega size) peanut M&Ms.

I could use some encouragement.

Hang in there... I did this last week and ate a bag of M&m's too...

hey - one thing i found out about life is that as you get older you start to

realize nothing is ever perfect, and it is okay that way. don't let the small

things get you down. positive thinking is everything! cheer up! we're here

for you.

Well, first off... fried food is certainly going to make the dumps that much worse. And if you're anything like I am... I spend more time beating myself up about it then realizing today is a new opportunity and one slip isn't going to demolish what I'm working for. I'm getting better at that one.

However, I suspect the fact you did not get the promotion (perhaps enhanced by the oncoming of Aunt Flow, i.e. pms) has more to do with your current state. Realize now you don't always get what you want when you want it and perhaps there is a reason this particular opportunity was not for you. Take this opportunity to objectively ask specifics of the interviewer of how you did not fit this position, what skills you could work on in order to be better prepared for the next opportunity. If try to eliminate the emotion just for this, it will make them more open to discussion than, say, whining and sobbing that you really wanted it and "why oh why did they not give it to you", right? If you take this as a learning experience, and not a personal rejection (it really isn't), you will probably learn a couple valuable albeit difficult lessons.

There are a ton of motivational diet books, but I have to be honest that I never really bought the hype. Go to your local library and check out an audio book or book of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It had a profound effect for me on how I viewed myself, my life, and those around me. It's almost like having fresh air for the first time.

Get yourself a glass of milk, a Vitamin D supplement and maybe even a short trip to a tanning bed if the rain does not let up. A week of being holed up without some sunlight is enough to make anyone cranky. Every time you recommit to your own goals, the better equipped you will be to commit to all other goals. 15 pounds is quite a feat in such a time, you can do this! I wish you so much luck!

Original Post by chris1208:

Remember that if food didn't cause the problem, food won't fix it. I repeat this phrase in my head all the time!

I love that way of phrasing it!

Hi there...

Try and keep your objective (healthy weight and lifestyle) in your focus.  I know at times it will be hard, but when you think of having something you know isn't in the plan, ask yourself if it's worth it.  Is it going to make the problem go away, is it going to fix anything, or will it be anything but a momentary distraction, which you'll regret almost as soon as you do it. And, ask yourself if it's worth messing up everything you've accomplished so far.

I find talking to myself a lot helps and my answer is always no,it's not worth it, it's not going to make anything better and it's most certainly not worth messing up what I've accomplished.  I do this when I am having a bad day, or feeling like eating simply out of boredom.

That's not to say I don't allow myself treats, but again, they absolutely MUST be worth the calories...i.e. they better taste really really good.  LOL

Before you eat something you know you'll regret, take a few minutes and just close your eyes, breathe deep, try to relax and think about it.

Good luck!!

Robbyn

I am right there with the majority of you. I am a full-time student, mother of two, one of which has special needs and it is definately a challenge. I have been having trouble with my marriage and other personal issues as well. I have felt terrible for the last 3 months. I did manage to lose weight though mainly due to an illness and wisdom tooth extraction. I lost everything I wanted to, but now the stress and blues have gotten to me and I have been eating like there is no tomorrow. I have eaten everything I wanted and now I am gaining the weight back. My new pants are fitting snugger and I feel like CRAP due to the junk I have been eating. I used to exercise regularly and eat healthy things. But since I haven't been doing that I feel lethargic and weak. I may not have lost weight while I was being so good to myself...no matter how much exercise and calorie counting i did. But I felt better and that is definately worth doing in that case. I just can't seem to get my binging under control since I have let myself go backwards. I need to gain control somehow, I just feel so out of control.

Me doing this is typical though. I have lost weight many times only to gain it all back. Sometimes more. I seem to get down where I want to be and just start to let my habits resort to the old ones and I also find that I miss all the comfort foods so much. I eat them and temporarily feel good, but shortly after find myself feeling so bad emotionally and physically.

I am writing all this in hopes it will jumpstart my motivation. I have struggled with my weight since puberty and I am now 37. This is a struggle I get tired of fighting. So I know sometimes it is just about the fact I want to eat things I normally can't. Like pizza, ice cream, cookies, cake, chips, and chocolate. All the high cal junk foods. I find I end up sabotaging all my hard work. I know I have very low self-esteem and I think I take all my frustration in life out on myself. If only I could stop doing that.

I have started to see a counselor to try and learn to cope better and feel better about myself. This is a slow road, I was on antidepressants and other meds, but had to wean off because of all the side effects. I am trying to go natural now and hoping I can find alternative meds that will make the blues better. I think the meds also helped me lose weight now that I am not on them my binging has skyrocketed.

Will I ever stop doing this to myself? I know I am in control of me and my actions...but can't seem to gain control...it is very frustrating.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest...I need to.

It feels good to be able to put this out there for others to read and know someone heard you. Even if it is a total stranger.