Staying Positive in Social Settings
You RSVP for a soiree and you have every intention to enjoy yourself. You're not fixated on what will be served, but you plan to stick to eating healthy. When you arrive, there's more food than you would ever need, healthy options are scant, and there's more than one person urging you to eat or drink up. Being in a social setting where it feels like food is the entertainment is a tough place to be. While you don't want to be off-putting by judging others' behavior, you don't have to give in to their expectations of your food intake. Choose to stay positive and avoid succumbing to the pressure to fit in.
It's Not Your Party
No matter how much people egg you on to eat or drink, your not doing so won't ruin the festivities. Don't explain why or how you eat, just pass the time, eat what is acceptable to you, and others' food fixation will likely pass. Try to move around, introduce yourselves to party goers, or talk it up with the host. He or she may need help of some kind and offering it will keep others' eyes off of your plate. If you make your eating habits the topic of conversation, you'll likely find yourself in an uncomfortable chat that's less than fun. If someone else asks you sincerely what you're doing, keep it short and personal. Going beyond that may come off as self-righteous or off-putting. No one comes to a party to get a list of food documentaries to watch.
What About You?
If you think how you eat is a distraction, a better one would be getting others' to talk about themselves. Most Americans have similar childhood experiences with television shows, games, and schools. If the topic of food comes up, you don't have to demonize your past. Use it as a way to find common ground with other party goers and laugh it up. Food is a normal part of life, so it's not always easy to deflect questions about eating, but you can always find a way to flip the conversation so that it stays positive. Many of us have stories about certain foods, family dinners, and eating out. Who said you have to have it on your plate to talk about it?
Go With the Flow
If it's time for a toast, grab a glass, if the birthday girl is cutting the cake, help take the picture. Don't turn your nose up at the role of food at celebrations. Shunning the smell of sausage or frowning at too much cheese on someone else's plate is a sign that you may be projecting negative feelings about food on others. Instead, eat what you eat, when you eat it, with a smile and don't make what you don't like at a party - the food - steal your joy in a social setting. It may be hard to overcome feeling awkward about what's on the table, but your presence is an indication that positive change is possible.
Your thoughts...
Do you eat or avoid foods you would usually not eat when in socials settings?
Comments
When I arrive I immediately get to the bar and get a glass of sparkling water with a lemon slice (or a glass of water). As soon as there is something in hand most everyone will relax to offer more. If I imagine that there will be plenty of high caloric items, I would have a healthy snack before going. That way I am not going to just eat just to satisfy my hunger. I can enjoy the company of friends.
I eat before I go, allowing myself a 500 calorie buffer to try a few things but still being full means I dont go overboard.
I always eat a healthy snack before going to a social event, so that I don't go hungry or face the possibility that none of the choices are on my food plan. I also stick an Atkins protein bar in my pocket in case there is literally nothing acceptable or not enough acceptable protein.
Recently, a neighbor invited me to dinner as a way of thanking me for some yard work and shopping I had done for her while she was ill. The menu consisted of an appetizer of canned fruit cocktail packed in syrup, cream of chicken soup ( the consistency of wall paper paste, spaghetti with a bottled tomato sauce (no meat with it), and her signature dessert - - - brownies. LOLOL
If my Italian mother ever served a meal like that to my Italian father, it would have been cause for a divorce.
So before eating anything, I immediately came down with one of my fabricated gastro-intestinal episodes apologized for ruining the "meal", told her I would take a rain check, and high tailed it out of there. Fortunately, she never invited me again. I was BLESSED.
Everyone that knows me, is aware of my "lifestyle change" so I never get urged to eat more, or drink more. Instead I get "you're looking great! Your efforts are showing!" For those that don't know me, I can't imagine they would be interested in what is, or isn't, on my plate.
I appreciate the suggestions of eating a little before I go.
I, and my entire, family have always thrived on the flavor of foods, so I am drawn to the smell and presentation of cheese-filled, fatty, tasty foods. However, I've learned to take a tiny portion to enjoy the flavor and then fill my plate with as many healthy items as I can. I am reminded of a "King of Queens" episode when Kirstie Alley wanted "Carrie" to eat the pastries while Kirstie watched and enjoyed them vicariously through "Carrie". Sometimes that works too.
"No matter how much people egg you on to eat or drink, your not doing so won't ruin the festivities."
I have read this sentence over and over trying to make it make sense. Does the writer need a new editor or do I need to go back to English class?
Original Post by: cynthia84"No matter how much people egg you on to eat or drink, your not doing so won't ruin the festivities."
I have read this sentence over and over trying to make it make sense. Does the writer need a new editor or do I need to go back to English class?
It reads fine to me. The author is just saying that you won't ruin the party by not eating, even though people are encouraging you to eat.
I understand what they were trying to say...I just mean grammatically, I don't think it's proper English.
Usually it becomes a feast or famine situation when I am faced with that type of social setting. Moderation is something I always struggle with and it is much easier for me to be in the control seat by providing the meal at my home.
It is quite sad as I fear fattening, unhealthy food places & choices which ends up depriving my husband as well. I don't want to be a 'kill joy' for my husband or friends but pizza places stress me out as I am observed if I order a salad or even indulge in only one slice.
If this is the trade off to stay thin, it is worth it to me.
I often take a drink of fiber-wise before going out. It really helps me feel full and on top of that it will slow down the rate of absorption of foods that have a high glycemic index- like potatoes. I agree eating a healthy snack before hand. The other thing is if there is not much healthy choices available. I do the 3 bites and it's it. Usually I don't have the problem of people forcing food on me as all my friends knowI have had gastric-by-pass surgery and there is no way I can eat fatty, surgery food. Of course now that I am 2 years out from surgery I have more leeway but I have worked to damn hard to loose 170lbs to blow it with poor food choices.
Cynthia, you are correct. A rephrase for this might be, "no matter how much others encourage you to eat or drink, your decision not to do so will not ruin the party". Lots of ways to rephrase it but the idea behind is right. 
I am seeing worse and worse grammar on-line. Maybe due to all the shortcuts we are using when texting.
Original Post by: psmi033788602Cynthia, you are correct. A rephrase for this might be, "no matter how much others encourage you to eat or drink, your decision not to do so will not ruin the party". Lots of ways to rephrase it but the idea behind is right.
Hate to nit-pick, but "egg-you-on to" is a grammatically acceptable stand-in for the verb phrase "encourage you to". However, the hyphens might have made it easier to follow.
Michael, I agree. It is actually a pretty good phrase. I was just coming up with a "vanilla" idea. You are right. Hyphens would have helped. This whole thing is kind of silly because it is the idea behind it all that counts. I just get amazed at how our grammar is failing, not that I am perfect at it myself. I love spell check. Grammar check is not so great. 
Original Post by: cynthia84I understand what they were trying to say...I just mean grammatically, I don't think it's proper English.
It's correct. michaelpaschalmp has covered the first part of this sentence, so I'll address just the second half. The subject's choice not to eat will not ruin the party. Saying it aloud might help, as it is a roundabout construction. Still, it is one that we use a lot in everyday conversation (in American English, at any rate). For example, "It's not the end of the world if you don't eat that ice cream." That's my perspective as an EFL teacher with English and Linguistics degrees, anyway.
Let's return to discussing our shared interest in a healthy lifestyle.
Double negative, but I agree, let's go back to the subject. 
It was fun to "kick it around" though....or I have way too much time on my hands. Best Regards to All! Patty
I find that avoiding alcohol helps me keep my resolve to eat sensibly. Relax, do your best & remember it is only one meal/evening. If dining out try to order a sensible option or bring a sensible option to a party. If that is not possible have a snack before you go & practice portion control.
Nothing is more irritating to me than busting all week to lose a pound, then have someone try to guilt me into eating a meal that is high calorie, high fat and full of salt. I've had people deliberately put food on my plate that I have passed on because they think I need to eat it! If I do not ask for a helping, please stay away from my plate! Forcing food on an adult is not a sign of hospitality: it is just a civilized form of bullying.
Nothing is more irritating to me than busting all week to lose a pound, then have someone try to guilt me into eating a meal that is high calorie, high fat and full of salt. I've had people deliberately put food on my plate that I have passed on because they think I need to eat it! If I do not ask for a helping, please stay away from my plate! Forcing food on an adult is not a sign of hospitality: it is just a civilized form of bullying.
Nothing is more irritating to me than busting all week to lose a pound, then have someone try to guilt me into eating a meal that is high calorie, high fat and full of salt. I've had people deliberately put food on my plate that I have passed on because they think I need to eat it! If I do not ask for a helping, please stay away from my plate! Forcing food on an adult is not a sign of hospitality: it is just a civilized form of bullying.
Nothing is more irritating to me than busting all week to lose a pound, then have someone try to guilt me into eating a meal that is high calorie, high fat and full of salt. I've had people deliberately put food on my plate that I have passed on because they think I need to eat it! If I do not ask for a helping, please stay away from my plate! Forcing food on an adult is not a sign of hospitality: it is just a civilized form of bullying.
Nothing is more irritating to me than busting all week to lose a pound, then have someone try to guilt me into eating a meal that is high calorie, high fat and full of salt. I've had people deliberately put food on my plate that I have passed on because they think I need to eat it! If I do not ask for a helping, please stay away from my plate! Forcing food on an adult is not a sign of hospitality: it is just a civilized form of bullying.
To all of the English majors on this site,- get a life. the subject here is not how well you write, it is the content that is important. Of course this is only my opinion. If you are going to take umbrage to all errors in language, whether grammatical, spelling etc. you really do have too much time on your hands and too lofty opinion of your mission in life.
It is really hard at family gatherings and parties to maintain a sense of control, especially since I struggle with food so much. My family knows that I'm trying to lose, so do my friends, but I will often hear, "aren't you going to try a bit of...?" "how about just a little slice..." "you have barely any food on your plate, do you not like what's being served?" Sometimes it's really as though they are mad that I am trying to watch what I eat. And once I give in one time, it's all downhill from there.
Any honestly, a snack beforehand does nothing for me when faced with amazing food that others are encouraging me to eat!
OK, sorry to offend
. We're just having fun with language -- not taking um-bridge. But, getting back to the subject at hand. I guess that my persona itself protects me from having food problems, within a social setting. I'm trying get below 200lbs, dispense with the hypertension medicine, etc., etc., etc. Offending a party host, by refusing to gorge, is a long way down on my priority list.
on what they have there,i am a chocolate person its hard to say no thank lol that's why i don't go to any party lol
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