stop drinking help

    hi everyone, i need some help. i;ve stopped drinking, i use to drink a bottle of wine a night or finish off a six pack of beer. every morning i was hung over, puking in my sink while my 18 month old son watched. i stopped 2 wks ago. my husband has been very suportive, he's a recovering alcholic and know how hard this is.

   my main problem is sleep, i use to drink till i would pass out. now i'm up every night till 2 or 4 in the morning. i'm a stay at home mom, but i'm so exhasted, i was actually crying last night i just wanted to sleep. anyone have any ideas that can help me with this? i feel like i'm in a huge fog and can't find my way out. any ideas would help thanks.

Hey kath75. You need to reset your sleeping patterns and quick -- before you fall back into relying on alcohol or other "aids" to get to sleep. I just googled sleeping patterns and found this site from womentowomen: http://www.womentowomen.com/fatigueandstress/ insomnia.aspx

If you don't remember why you started drinking like you do, it might have had to do with underlying sleep issues. Your medical doctor might have a suggestion on that. My doctor once suggested I go to a sleep clinic. I didn't but it is an option for some people. For me, I started sleeping better when I lost weight and started breathing better.

Please stay away from the alcohol. Not a drop; it is doing you no good. Would you consider attending AA or Alanon?

Good luck and stay strong.

A buddy of mine had the same problem,just keep in mind that the sleep you get when drunk is not as beneficial as regular sleep. Just try some relaxation activities, a bath/ hot tea/ dim the lights before your try to sleep to get your body in that mode.

Its a hard habit to break and i am really proud of you for sticking with it, just remember, if you fall off the wagon its not the end of the world, just hop back on.

Good luck!

  i started drinking cause i was getting depressed. i use to be small, tiny, very slim. then i had my son who has 9lbs at birth,and i had him natrually. my husband starting running and lost all the extra weight he put on during my pregnancy. i started working on the excerise bike, i saw hardly nothing in loss. so i started drinking.

     my husband says if he can do it , i can. he's my cheerleader. i just know drinking that much wasn't good for me, or my realasonship with my husband and son.

If you're depressed for no real reason then you should see your doctor and ask for help.  If there's a reason that you're depressed then try to tackle that reason.  If you're overweight, for example, a healthy diet and more exercise will work if you give it time.... Never benchmark your progress against other people, especially not men.  They use energy much faster then women and can lose weight if they forget to put mayo on the sandwich at lunchtime...

Alcohol, ironically is a depressant.  So if you're feeling especially rough right now it could take some time for that depressant effect to work through.

A better diet can do a lot for your state of mind.   Even mild malnutrition can cause problems such as anxiety, low moods and fatigue.  And how about getting something to do during the day?  Staying at home with a baby or toddler is horribly dull.... you could go to a playgroup, perhaps.  Or even consider a part-time job if you can find someone to leave your child with.   Having something to stimulate you mentally is always good. 

Exercise could be another good avenue to explore.  People who take exercise regularly tend to be more alert during the day and able to sleep better at night.  You could do something really simply like taking your son on long walks in the buggy.  Or let your husband babysit (he sounds really supportive) and do something fun like joining a dance-class.

Having lost someone relatively recently who was a heavy social drinker rather than an out and out alcoholic I'm glad you're taking this move.  

Good luck

First of all, kath, good for you for realizing you have a problem.  I admire you for that.  As iammarian suggested, try Alanon or AA.  You may find others who went through or are currently experiencing the same sleep problems as you are right now.  I don't know where you live, but generally, there are meetings being held somewhere at all hours, so you could probably find a time that's good for you.

Secondly, kath, I have to tell you I lost my husband to alcoholism.  He was only 46 years old.  This was 15 years ago, and I still wonder what I could have done to help him, though I know it had to be HIS decision to do something.

You have a baby and a husband who need you to be clean and sober.  As you mentioned, you have your husband's support; he knows what you're going through.

I wish you the very best.  Do stay strong and committed to remaining sober.  Use all the tools that are available to you.  Obviously, there are people here who care.

I don't have any answers for you, but I want to tell you THANK YOU on behalf of your little son (and your husband).

My mom drank a bottle of wine or more every night for as far back as I can remember. Realistically, I think I can pinpoint the beginning to about 10 years ago when my dad was first deployed overseas.. but that doesn't matter. She has finally stopped drinking now and I am so proud of her.

It tore our family apart. She was always exhausted in the daytime, drunk at night, yelling at my brothers and me. My poor dad loves her too much to take the bottle away because he didn't want her mad at him. I cried for him all the time, knowing he hurt so much to see her that way. She was not the woman he married. He deserved better. And as kids, my brothers and I deserved more. We needed her, and she wasn't there for us.

She tried everything to get us off her back- AA, alanon, even rehab, but nothing worked until she CHOSE to stop on her own. You have to want it.

LUCKILY, it sounds like you already do! (Sorry, I realized I was starting to lecture and rant and that's not what I want to do) I just want to stress how grateful I am to my mom for finally overcoming her addiction to alcohol. I know if your son could understand what you're doing for him and express his gratitude, he would. I am very proud of you for wanting to be better. So let me stop ranting, and just say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for making yourself better for your family, and good luck.

Hi Kath,

Trust me when I say that I know how you feel with the sleep thing. I drank half a bottle of vodka every night for a year and a half!!! :( But I am doing so much better and havent drank in months now. I know how hard it can be to get to sleep. On those random once in awhile nights where the liquor stores would be closed and I couldnt drink, I would lay awake till 5 AM and have to get up at 7 for work in the morning. It was horrible and all I could think about was how much easier it would be to just drink to fall asleep....just a couple of shots....thats all. :(

UGH, it was bad! All I can really say is that itll take some time. Keep it up tho! Do not go back to the bottle because it will only cause more reliance. The more days you go without, the more you will get back into a sleeping pattern that is normal. What really helped me a lot is my boyfriend holding me till I fell asleep, just having the comfort of someones arms around me helped me know I could do this.

Its so good your husband is so supportive because you definitely need that in your life. Keep in mind your child and how much you love him. There is no need to feel awful guilt for what you have done in the past because that will only feed into more depression. You have a great husband and Im sure a wonderful child. Let their love surround you completely and I know you can get through this.

If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. I know how hard life can be.

Put the money previously spent on alcohol and hire a trainer. The trainer will probably give you good guidance to food nutrition and set you up with a workout program. You'll feel better, eat better, sleep better, etc.

Losing weight doesn't have to be your goal. You can hire a trainer to get fit, train for a 10k run, mini triathalon, to gain knowledge on how to incorporate fitness, gain knowledge on how to incorporate better eating, to improve health, lose weight...a trainer is good for a variety of goals.

to help you sleep until you're back to falling asleep on your own:

melatonin (works on some people (but not me), cheap, you can get a publix)

OR

Tryptophan (works on some people (me), $20 for 30 pills, and available at natural food stores or Walgreens

OR

Valerian/skullcap/hops/chamomile blend. The valerian is the most important ingredient, so if you can just get valerian, use that. This will definitely work! Cost is between melatonin and tryptophan, and is found at the natural food stores (life grocery, good nutrition - names of locals that I get them from, so things along those lines) but I've been seeing valerian turn up at grocery stores and walgreens too, so you might not even have to make a special trip.

thank you so much for all your suport and helpful info. my husbands says he is so proud of me. i am proud of myself, if i can stop drinking, i know i will have better control over my life. thank you all so much

First of all, good for you for starting out on your way to being a better wife and mommy, and hopefully, a happier person.  The psychological impact of giving something up is not to be underestimated, nor the emotional toll.  You had a routine, for all intents and purposes, you had a relationship.  It's over now.  You're mourning. 

Build yourself a new routine.  Be consistent with it.  Be patient with yourself.  Use your bedroom for only sleep and sex, and when you're trying to sleep, keep it as dark and distraction-free as humanly possible.  Oh. also, it's best to avoid bathing/showering/exercise a few hours before bed.  And personally, I sleep better after a little low-fat cheese snack and some diet cranberry juice.