When to stop losing weight, even though you haven't reached the ideal number..

Hey guys~! I'm a new member posting for the first time!

I've been wondering..

Was there ever a point for anyone where friends and/or family have told you that you look great the way you are, even though you haven't exactly reached that ideal number on the scale? If so.. did you ever want to still lose weight regardless of what they said, or did you listen to your peers and began to maintain whatever weight you had?

As for myself.. I've been dieting for a little more than a year now. I was 5'5 and was about 180 pounds according to my scale at home. Now, I'm currently 5'5.5 and 120 pounds. However, my aim from the start was to get down to 115 pounds.. although people have been telling me to stop losing weight because they assume that there is nothing left to lose and that I'm fine the way I am.

I understand that it is only a five pound difference.. but I desperately want to reach that number, being the perfectionist that I am. Should I go through with that or do people have a good reason in telling me to stop?

Basically, are the opinions of others a good indication of knowing when to stop losing weight or is that something you should decide for yourself based on how you feel about your own body?

Thanks for your help~!

You probably look great at 5'5" and 120lbs. I'm thinking going lower than that may make you look too thin. Just my opinion. Your friends and family may be right.

I agree with the above poster.  I think 115 might be too low of a BMI anyway, and I totally understand how the number on the scale affects your thinking, but you have to focus on the size of your clothes/measurements instead.  It'll drive you less crazy xD

Well.. I currently fit into sizes ranging from 0-4.. though mostly a 2. It really depends on the store though, thanks to vanity sizing..

Tough one, you should be taking into account all the factors, including what you think (which should be the most important) and what the others think. When losing weight, my opinion is that you should constantly re-evaluate your goal and not religiously stick to the original one. Because when most people start out, they mostly think of a weight that they either a) assume they would look good at, if they have been overweight all their lives or b) have been comfortable at, but maybe during younger years, when they were at a different level of fitness and had more/less muscle mass.

So take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror, and decide for yourself if you want to lose more weight or not, for whatever SOLID reasons you might think of. A number you thought of 60 pounds ago is not by any means a good reason.

And last, just a little FWIW: I was happy with my body and stopped 'dieting' when I was still a few pounds short of my goal. I stuck with listening to my hunger signals and eventually those last pounds came off too, albeit very slowly.

I didn't have a starting goal, really... I just went in 5 pound increments.  Now I'm nearing what I think will be my final goal, and my wife has been telling me for the last 8 pounds or so that I'm getting too skinny. 

However, other people I trust are telling me that I'm fine.  And I feel like there's still some more fat to lose.  Plus, I'm losing almost entirely off my waist, so I'm taking that as a positive sign.  And my body fat percentage is dropping, yet still in a healthy range.  So I'll keep going for awhile longer.  Maybe another 5 pounds or so, and then I'll re-evaluate.  And I'll write off my wife's comments as either being envious, or she likes a somewhat different body composition than I'm shooting for.  Either way, it's my body and I'll do what I like, so long as it's healthy.

Clint

Original Post by goldfishfireworks:

Hey guys~! I'm a new member posting for the first time!

I've been wondering..

Was there ever a point for anyone where friends and/or family have told you that you look great the way you are, even though you haven't exactly reached that ideal number on the scale? If so.. did you ever want to still lose weight regardless of what they said, or did you listen to your peers and began to maintain whatever weight you had?

As for myself.. I've been dieting for a little more than a year now. I was 5'5 and was about 180 pounds according to my scale at home. Now, I'm currently 5'5.5 and 120 pounds. However, my aim from the start was to get down to 115 pounds.. although people have been telling me to stop losing weight because they assume that there is nothing left to lose and that I'm fine the way I am.

I understand that it is only a five pound difference.. but I desperately want to reach that number, being the perfectionist that I am. Should I go through with that or do people have a good reason in telling me to stop?

Basically, are the opinions of others a good indication of knowing when to stop losing weight or is that something you should decide for yourself based on how you feel about your own body?

Thanks for your help~!

The number on the scale is just a guide. If you are going by any kind of "ideal" body weight calculator. Each person is different and our body shapes/types are different what might be right for one person of the same age and height is not necessarily right for the next. You want to reach a point where you are comfortable in your own body. Where you feel fit and healthy. When you are in the weight loss mode it is easy to want to keep going. Go by how you feel,  how your clothes fit. You don't want to loose weight just to reach that magic number. Where did that number come from to begin with? Is it just something you saw as Ideal so you are aiming for it? If so reevaluate where you are now. I did the same thing initially and got down too low. People told me I looked too skinny and I did not feel well and I was tired of not being able to eat a cookie if I wanted it so I relaxed some. It is about balance. If you move/exercise and eat clean and balanced you will maintain. Just watch your calories.

I'm an inch shorter, and when I was 119 I was very thin. You have done fantasticly to get down to 120 but I'd say that you should stop losing. You can carry on exercising with no deficit and find a better shape. You must realize a size 2 or even 4 is tiny though and size 0 is fine on a very short girl but unhealthy for a teen who is still growing.

Well done on getting to a good weight now starts the much harder process of being healthy and loving your body for life.

I have been reading Thin for Life (on Mary's suggestion), and many of the "masters" of weight loss (they lost more than 30 pounds and kept it off for more than 3 years, many much more) say that their original goal was too low, and once they had been maintaining for awhile found themselves settling at a slightly higher weight that was easier to maintain.

You could consider going on maintenance, giving yourself a few pound leeway not to go above, and just see where you settle when you are eating "normally".  If your body really wants to be 115, you will drift down over time.  If it wants to be 122 or 125 or even 130 you will know that over time, also.

Im sure you look good at 120...

have you asked a medical professional?

Original Post by goldfishfireworks:

Hey guys~! I'm a new member posting for the first time!

I've been wondering..

Was there ever a point for anyone where friends and/or family have told you that you look great the way you are, even though you haven't exactly reached that ideal number on the scale? If so.. did you ever want to still lose weight regardless of what they said, or did you listen to your peers and began to maintain whatever weight you had?

As for myself.. I've been dieting for a little more than a year now. I was 5'5 and was about 180 pounds according to my scale at home. Now, I'm currently 5'5.5 and 120 pounds. However, my aim from the start was to get down to 115 pounds.. although people have been telling me to stop losing weight because they assume that there is nothing left to lose and that I'm fine the way I am.

I understand that it is only a five pound difference.. but I desperately want to reach that number, being the perfectionist that I am. Should I go through with that or do people have a good reason in telling me to stop?

Basically, are the opinions of others a good indication of knowing when to stop losing weight or is that something you should decide for yourself based on how you feel about your own body?

Thanks for your help~!

Congrats!  Going from 180 to 120 is a dramatic change and I am sure your friends and family are just concerned you might go overboard.  Is everybody telling you to stop or just a few people?  Ask somebody you trust and go 1 lb at a time.  Take a picture of yourself, it's really hard to tell what you look like by looking in the mirror.  I for one know I couldn't maintain a weight of 115 and 120 is more realistic for me but everybody's body is different.  I am in no way skinny, my husband would tell me if he thought i was.

When I joined CC in April I weighed 155lbs. and [thought] I was 5'4" and it gave me a goal of 128 (BMI=22, right in the middle of "healthy").  My only goal was to get into the healthy range...140lbs.  In the beginning of July I went to UMICH hospital for a clinical trial check up and found I was just under 5'4" at 5'3.5" and about 135 lbs.  All the nurses told me I looked great and that they barely recognized me...they had last seen my July 2008.  The nutritionist who saw me said that I didn't have to continue to lose weight. She said,"You are a good weight for your height."  I have decided to try to make it to 126-128 (BMI ~22) and see if I can maintain it.  I want to focus on fat loss.  I still have a bit of excess belly fat that I'd like to try and get rid of, but if I hit 126 and it's not as gone as I'd like I'll stop and maintain and be happy I'm as light I was when I started high school.

hey.

I am probaly thinking you look pretty good at 120.  I have been doing a diet and lost over 40 pounds. Everyone keeps saying I don't need to lose anymore weight.  When I started this journey my goal was to lose 50 pounds and I am going through with it as we speak. So my opinion on this whole situation is follow your heart on this journey and do what you think is best for your body yet still be healthy.

I agree with all the posts above, especially littleshellys. 

I think the stopping or continuing to move down has to do with how much you can maintain your lifestyle in the long run.  How much extra work do have to do to get down to a certain weight you've determined for yourself?  Would you be having to restrict your calorie intake too much?  Or work out in excess to get there?  If that's a yes, then your goal weight is most likely unsustainable in the long run. 

Like littleshellys said before, if you're cranky and tired of not being able to have a cookie, then I think you should settle into your more sustainable weight.  Keep exercising, and eat at maintenance, and your body will find the spot where it is most comfortable! 

We always need to remember that the number on the scale is a contruct.  It is a goal post, not the goal.  I remind myself of this every time I get pissed at the scale.  So, that being said, are you the size you want to be?  Do you have any obvious extra fat on your bones still?  Are you as toned as you would like to be? What are the other goals you set for yourself besides the number?  Other than the number, would you say you've achieved your goals?  The thing is, weight loss is totally addictive, and we can get the point where we feel like if we're not losing, we're not succeding.  NOT TRUE.  Its just a number, how you look and feel are a better measure of your well being.

That being said, when I was 250 lbs (5'7), there were people who told me I looked great, despite the way I felt about myself.  At my current size (190) I still have another 30 to get to what I consider my goal, but I have people telling me all the time that I look great.  Well, sure, in comparison, but I'm not done, and I know that.    So, I would say, only you can look in the mirror and know whether you're done.  Other people opinions can be helpful and not.  At the end of the day, you (and your doctor's) opinions matter most. 

I think this is a terrific topic. In the begining, I also set a goal weight of 125 to get to but now I wonder if, for me anyway, it is not realistic in the long run. I started counting last October @ 155 #'s and I have be struggling with the # on the scale every morning for 6 months, wanting to loose the last infamous 10lbs, but I also remember all the posts & advice from Mary on your set point. I have lost a little more than that 10% and actually find myself very comfortable here, hangin around 130-132 mark. I have come to realize maybe I don't need to acheive that # as I am NOT a teenager anymore. Every time I try to cut back my calories to get back into loss mode, I get grouchy, hungry and kind of tired. I hate that! I like to indulge once in awhile and when I am dwelling on the # on the scale I feel guilt and anxiety and can't enjoy those little treats when they come up. Life is too short for that!

Bottom line, only you know the # on the scale.  Appearance of ourselves can be very skewed so it's good to listen to others along with your true inner self and really think about how you truely feel, not just for vanity reasons but health wise, too.

At 5'5, a weight of 120 would give you a BMI of 20 - which is at the low end of the healthy range.  115 would put you at 19.2 - which is in that fuzzy zone where people who are naturally that thin are fine but if you have to constantly restrict, it's not a good place to be.  At 5'5.5, both BMIs are actually a little lower than that.  At 120, I can't imagine you still have any more fat to lose and if the only reason you want to get to 115 is to meet a numerical goal that you set 60 pounds ago, you should let go of that.  Once you go to maintenance calories, your body will figure out where it wants to be.  If it's healthiest at 115, it'll slowly drop to there.

I have been walking slowly away from the scale, and I'm learning to accept that I may not reach what I consider my ideal weight of 130. My boyfriend says I look fantastic and I'm hovering over 160!!!!! Every day he tells me how much skinnier I'm looking (still have my childbirth belly, but it's slowly going away). I lift weights and do HIIT. I think I'm much more healthy now than I was when I was 130. My new goal is to get down to a size 8, regardless of what the scale says. As long as the fat keeps dropping, I'm happy.

I'm 5'5.5 as well and last year my lowest weight was 126 and all of my family and friends told me that I looked entirely too thin. At the time I thought they were being ridiculous but now when I look at pictures of myself from that time I agree that I looked too boney.

Now I concentrate on lifting weights and getting lean muscle, sure I’ve put on 5 pounds since last year but I prefer the way I look now because my muscles are defined and since doing deadlifts and squats I actually have a butt and thighs to be proud of instead of being “skinny fat”.

You might carry your weight different than I do but I don’t think that you need to get down to 115 for your height, that just seems too thin and maybe even unmanageable to maintain. But that’s just my 2 cents :)

Thank you for all those repies~!

Well, I initially came up with the number based on the ideal weight calculator at freedieting.com. I also thought that my weight should be at the lower end of the BMI scale because of my smaller frame size, thanks to my Asian genes.

Personally, I feel great at this weight but I don't think losing more can really harm me. Afterall, it's only a 5 pound difference. However, both friends and family have told me that I always look tired, even though I feel otherwise. I think, and still think that some comments they make are an exaggeration based on the fact that they're used to seeing a a much bigger version of myself and is not used to seeing the sudden change. Although this may be the case... I can't help but to think that maybe they have a point; especially when some of my friends went to such lengths to get me to eat a really fatty food like cake/pie every so often.

I did have a problem with my period stopping for about 5 months.. though it did come back when I finally was fed something really fattening. Because of this, I thought that this problem was only caused by fat deficiency and wasn't too concerned about it since my periods have always been irregular.

Anyways, thanks for the advice everyone!

Original Post by goldfishfireworks:

I did have a problem with my period stopping for about 5 months.. though it did come back when I finally was fed something really fattening. Because of this, I thought that this problem was only caused by fat deficiency and wasn't too concerned about it since my periods have always been irregular.

Anyways, thanks for the advice everyone!

See i was all happy until I read this bit; you sound like you've got great friends family and perspective but it is not ok to lose your period. I don't think you should aim to lose any more weight if it was at that cost some things are not worth risking.