Stressed out = Weight Loss :-(

I'm looking for a buddy thats kinda been through the same thing as me so they can help me through a rough patch I'm having.

Basically I've had numerous bad experiences with men in the past which makes trusting men a very big issue for me, so anyway recently I split with my boyfriend, the only person I ever trusted! apparently I've been traded in for a younger prettier woman, this happened on Friday 13th (how unlucky is that!)

Since then I've dropped 7lbs, I cant eat or sleep because everytime I think of my situation I feel sick, the doctor has put me on anti-depressants but I still feel like my whole world has collapsed I feel as though part of me has died, we were together for 7 years since I was 16 my whole world evolved around him.

How am I ever going to get over this and trust men again? and how can I stop the sickening feeling all the time so I stop loosing weight? I look at my friends and they are so much prettier than me and they have difficulty finding relationships it makes me think I'll never be able to find anyone and if I do I'll just keep being traded in for a younger woman all my life.

Having been traded in myself... although ironically for a shorter, fatter, older woman.... I know how you feel.  We met at 17, got married at 23 and he walked out of the door when I hit 29.  I was gutted.... didn't function for about 3 months.   Trust me, this has nothing to do with you, your appearance or some other kind of failing on your part.  It has everything to do him, with a relationship running its course and your partner feeling the grass is greener elsewhere.   But I know it's a nasty shock.  And it's going to change your life.

How to trust men again... my answer is 'don't'.  Or at least not to the point of leaving yourself exposed.   There's trust and there's being naive.  I have so many girlfriends that feel they have to open up their whole lives to their menfolk... 'we share all our secrets!!'.... and I wince.  It took me years to realise it but it's really not necessary to wear your heart on your sleeve when it comes to relationships....    You can call me unromantic, hard-hearted or cynical and I'd probably agree with you.  :-)  But I genuinely think real men respect a woman that has a little more mystery and holds a little something back.   They like the challenge of working out what makes you tick! 

'Pretty' is seriously overrated and has nothing to do with your desirability as a partner.  Attractiveness is so much more to do with self-confidence, attitude, a ready smile, a quick wit, a sharp dress-sense.  Develop those and the men will flock.  Look needy or desperate and they'll run a mile. 

Give yourself lots of time to get over the shock but use that time to get angry with the right party... ie. him, not yourself.  And then get out there, find some gullible guy, go out with him for a while and then dump him... just for the heck of it.   It's a marvellous antidote.

Thanks for the advise, not to sure about the finding a gullible guy and dumping him bit though lol I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I do just now.

 

 

You don't go out with them long enough for them to break their heart and you do the dumping in the nicest way possible.... :-)  Pick one of those schmucky Hollywood lines.... "It's not you.... it's me.... I'm just not ready for a serious relationship so soon.... I'll never forget you.... It's just not working out how I thought.... "   (All complete rubbish, of course)  It's a great way to reassert yourself in the whole dating game and stop feeling like a victim.  If you've only had one serious boyfriend since you were 16, it's very valuable experience.