Struggling to begin! (Just discovered I ate 3000 calories today!)

Sorry for the ramble, I just need to get this out because I'm feeling so terrible about it.

I was a happy healthy weight up until about a year ago. I didn't eat enough fruits and veggies, or get enough exercise, but I was trying to change this, not necessarily lose weight, just get healthy.

Then I finished university and my whole life changed, not in a bad way, but for some reason I aquired a compulsive eating habit and an inability to pick myself up when I was down. It was all food food food.

I'm now nearly two and a half stone heavier (35 lbs) and it shows. I'm starting to get those red stretch marks on my thighs too.

I've been trying for the last six months to kick the junk food habit, start exercising and eventually working towards a healthier diet in general. I had some success before I went on holiday to Mallorca, where I stuck to my recommended calories and dropped half a stone (7lbs) in three weeks. I pretty much completely cut the crap too and it was hard but I was doing ok.

I put that half a stone back on whilst in Mallorca. In a week. That was three weeks ago and I'm still eating like all the food's suddenly going to disappear overnight.

Today I ate 3000 calories (instead of my recommended 1400). I didn't meant to, I just had no idea the Oreo milkshake I made had over 800 cals, I forgot the dinner we were having is surprisingly high in cals despite being a healthy choice, and I skipped breakfast meaning I ate more for lunch, and I also ate the other half of the pack of Oreos.

I feel so disgusting. And would like to eat some more. I'm clearly not hungry, I just want to eat. Nothing's wrong, other than I feel horrible for eating so much.

Why can't I just get started? Each day I think "today I'll stick to my calories", but it never seems to happen. Someone buys cookies at work and I'll think "one day won't hurt" or "it'll take forever to lose the weight anyway so why bother".

The other half says he doesn't care about the weight gain, but i'ts not very nice to look at (which is fair enough). I don't feel sexy which is affecting how much effort I put into certain areas of our relationship and I've started wearing baggy, unflattering clothes all the time because none of my nice ones fit.

I feel like crap. I'm sure I'm not the only one and I don't want to sound self centred, I just need to get this out. I hope someone understands.

I'd suggest you start more slowly.  Rather than going straight into weight-loss calories begin with weight-maintenance calories (2000-2200 cals a day) and focus instead on developing a good eating habit i.e.

• Regular meals/snacks... don't skip meals
• Good quality wholefoods... vegetables, wholegrains, lean protein choices, fruit etc.
• Include the occasional 'not-quite-so-healthy' food in the mix
• Portion control... accurately measure quantities rather than guess

Plan your day out in advance and use the CC food log to tot up the calories before you start... not after you finish.  (That would have prevented the milkshake mistake)   That way you can see if you have any gaps where you could add a bigger portion or an extra snack... or if you've overshot.  Then be prepared.... and make it easier for yourself to eat better than to eat badly.  Going through your cupboards and getting rid of any more biscuits (or other foods that you can see yourself eating even though you don't plan to) would be a good start. 

Once you've had a week or two on 2000-2200 cals a day you should be able to drop to 1400-1500 and your weight will start to come down.  Good luck

Thanks gi-jane. I really appreciate the advice. I'm going to try that, it certainly sounds easier than just jumping in.

I've been making a marked effort with breakfast recently, during the week at least and mixing some bran flakes into yoghurt, with sultanas, almonds and honey. I seem to go downhill as soon as I get to work and I just can't seem to stop myself eating between breakfast and lunch. Looking at what you're saying I'm going to try and take something healthy for a snack. I have myself convinced fruit isn't filling x( but I'll give it a go.

Our meals are always made from scratch by the other half who I'm having trouble convincing that whole grain rice and pasta etc is the way to go. I'll look up some recipes and cook one for him and see if I can convince him...

I've found that the best way to try and get back into eating healthily is to stock up on a huge, varied mix of "good" food and read up on loads of appetizing, healthy recipes.

Aim to eat as much of the "good" food to start with, without worrying too much about calorie counting. Eventually as your sugar & salt cravings disappear you'll be less concerned with binging and you can start counting calories again once you've got the cravings under control.

I know that this method always works for me, hope it helps you too!

I need a "safe house"; meaning absolutely no junk food or anything I would binge on in the house.  I also need to work out my food for the following day and make sure I eat plenty of healthy calories on time to keep my blood sugar up.  If I eat too little, I go into an eating rampage.  Anyway, my advise is make sure you don't have anything at home to binge on and make sure you keep a good steady flow of calories coming in so you're body doesn't set you into a calorie panic.  Last, you might want to start walking if you don't already.  Walking seems to reduce hunger and it also distracts you because you can't eat while you're walking.  For that matter, anything that distracts you from food can be helpful (movies, puzzles, cross stich)

I'm going to close my eyes and send positive thoughts filled with strength in your direction. 

Original Post by blinx:

Our meals are always made from scratch by the other half who I'm having trouble convincing that whole grain rice and pasta etc is the way to go. I'll look up some recipes and cook one for him and see if I can convince him...

 We're having this delicious 'Chicken Fried Rice' for supper this evening which is made with brown basmati rice & lots of veggies and is therefore quite filling for 482 cals...   It's also quite a generously sized portion when cooked.. 400g... and you can always add green salads on the side.  Other recipes you can try.... Chorizo Chickpea Stew is really tasty.  And Pasta Primavera is a light dish with lots of fresh flavours.

If your partner is a big chap he could make 3 x servings... he has 2 and you have 1.

Hi Blinx!  I know what you are going through!  My goal is eat about 1500 calories a day to lose a healthy pace and not be super hungry.  I would have one or two days that I would eat more than that depending on what I have that day.  If, for instance, my work friends and I go out for lunch and I overeat, it automatically becomes a cheat day and I don't bother counting for the rest of the day because I guess I didn't want to know how much I was eating.  Well, last week I logged my food on a cheat day and holy moly!  I ate 3,000 calories!!  I felt so disgusted with myself and then i realized why I hadn't been losing any weight :p.  Now, I have used this to my advantage.  It was so easy for me to eat that much food.  That had me wondering how often I did it!  Now, knowing how easy it is to eat almost a pound in calories of food, I use that to deter myself from making bad choices.  For instance, instead of "Ohhh that pasta looks sooo good!  I guess just one extra helping wouldn't hurt anything!  Well since I had some extra pasta, a cupcake won't hurt either."  Now I say to myself, "Okay i need to control my portions because before I know it I am going to be eating 3000 calories again!"

One other tid-bit, in respect to junk food and real food (fruit and veggies, ect) you can eat a whole lot more real food for the same calorie consumption as a small junk food.  If you want more to eat with the same calories as a small junk food snack then take the healthy choice!

I hope this helps a little!  "If you feel discourages always remember, it may not happen in a week, maybe not a month, but eventually is better than never!"

~Kristen

My advice would be to start slow.  If you are used to putting a bunch of junk into your body, cut out one thing at a time.  That way you don't feel like you are depriving yourself.  That should help cut down on the binge moments.  Another idea would be to look for healthier alternitives to the foods you crave so much.  If you are used to eating 3000 calories a day, maybe for a week you can try to cut that back to 2500 calories a day and cut it every week or two until you get down to your daily goal.  Also, don't beat yourself up too much when you have a bad day because that will only make a bad day a horrible day.

While reading your statement, I thought about the blog I read today called "I'm not the fat guy anymore". I really liked his story, but one of the tips I really liked was "A bad meal, bad day, bad week can be overturned very quickly with a bit of will power. Don't let those get you down." I think we all have this bad days/wks and the bad thing is that we do let them put us down which keeps from improving. I think that everyday is a new day and it's a fresh start. So, forget about your 3000 calorie day and start all over again. Start your calories slow and work your self down. Good luck. See below for the other tips he provided.

I not the "fat guy" anymore!

Thanks for all your helpful comments!

Stocking up on good food is definitely a good idea. I've stopped buying anything "bad", though there's always cookies, cakes etc at work! I'm going to get a fruit bowl for my desk and get some oatcakes and things. I do quite well with those. Hopefully if I really need to eat something I can use those as a distraction.

I've done a detox a couple of times in the past which was lots of (homemade) juices, fruits, veggies etc, and I always loved the feeling I had after I got over the initial first day - not tired, not sluggish and not hungry. I think I really need to focus on getting that feeling back without having to go to the extreme of detoxing.

wheredego, I think I definitely need to keep my good sugars in balance, what you're saying sounds so much like what happens to me. Also makes me think of the whole "don't go food shopping when you're hungry" thing.

Thanks for the recipes gi-jane. Will go back on my quest to find vegetarian soy sauce! The mister's not veggie, but that rice dish sounds easy to split up and have half with chicken and half with quorn or tofu. I'll happily cook him the chorizo stew too, he loves chorizo and I think that could be the way to convincing him that brown rice isn't so bad. He is a big chappy (6"2), but the skinniest I know, I think down to height, he just stops eating when he's full unlike me so I usually end up eating more than him (at 5"7). I sometimes wish he'd eat all the things I should be eating when I want to eat them so we'd both be a normal weight! :) Splitting the portions that way actually sounds much more sensible than our "half it" system we have at the moment.

ephinzat I really do need to start logging every little thing, like you, when I do log on a "cheat day" (or cheat weekend in this case) I get the fright of my life! Thanks for your comments :)

baldovin, I just read the "I'm not the fat guy anymore" story and thought it was brilliant! The difference in the photographs is phenominal. Just proves if he can lose his 135 I can totally lose my 35.

Thank you all so much for your support!