struggling and depressed.

I know many of you struggle with your image on a daily basis.But this is really not about image anymore. It's about feeling better physically and mentally.Some days are harder than others for sure. That when support comes in handy.  Without it, depression sets in very quickly. You need to get out of that circle. find support here if you can't elsewhere.  That's what I'm looking for. The support system.I am married, but my spouse doesn't understand how to be supportive . I have no family where I live now either, they are far away from me. So...friends are few and far between as well.  I know I am my worst enemy and put myself down a lot. I do have good days, just not enough of them unfortunately.  I've got really bad arthritis in my legs, so it's hard to do physical things most days. Other than that, I'd have no problems. That is what gets me down the most! I'm not a negative thinker in general . Very upbeat usually.  I have a bunch of Red Hatters that I hang out with , so that should tell you something, lol .  Anyway, if anyone is willing to be a support system for me to lean on, I'd be very greatful. Just asking if someone will help me to stay on track, and not put me down if I go off , but try to give me some tough love so to speak and get me back on the track.

This is Katydid.....Kate...just joined the 24th of June. I was concerned when I saw your post and no replies. I've been at the depression area...and out of it. I would be happy to be a support for you and vise versa. I'm 54 years old november 2009. Have a lot of life changes within the last 5 years...an empty nest...finding my husband and I do not have as mcuh in common as we used to. He is home now, so will write more soon. I live in Iowa...sm town Iowa. Kate

Hello struggling and depressed

Well I know its a hard battle and we have it harder then younger people.I too am old and fat and want to get back to feeling better about myself.

I have lost 125 lbs only to get injured and gain 68 lbs back.I could not get my head in the game.Now I'm in the game and working my way back into feeling better about myself.

The biggest thing to remember is don't give up !

You are worth it. So with me and katy in your corner you can get yourself on the right track and feel better about yourself.Remember

YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!

WICKEDWITCH1

Kate again, Weight loss sure is just as you suggested more than just about image.We all deep down want to feel better physically and mentally. the weight isn't the biggest thing. Sometimes because of a poor self-image I get to feeling I don't deserve to be happy...when I start being successful I will tend to sabotage the success because of a poor self image. It mostly stems for me from my childhood.....growing up with a mom who had paranoid schizophrenia. Most of the time I can get beyond that, truly realizing my self-worth. The difficult times are when life throws a curve....a lost job, menopause, an empty nest, a less than understanding spouse. (by the way I have a wonderful husband).

I had gotten depressed to the point of wondering if life was worth it and why don't I end it in some way. It has been some time since I was in that state. I didn't get out of it overnight. Sometimes it was one step forward and two back.

My husband will be more supportive when I go out of my way to put some of his needs first. I've noticed that a key to my getting out of a depressed state is to go and do something for someone else....to give of myself. This may not work for everyone. It works for me.

Sometimes I feel like I have very few if any friends, that I am the one who is going out of my way to be a friend.

I need some support also...I've come to the conclusion I will mess up. Just need to pick myself up and keep going. I would be supportive of you. We beat ourselves up enough without having someone else add to it.

I live in a small town in Iowa. I'm also an artist...have two grown boys...one in the army.

I look forward to hearing from you. Kate

Thank you so much ladies!  I'm sorry it took so long to reply.  I'd like to clarify something right off hand. I'm not always depressed,  when I do get in that mode, it's hard for me to get out of it .  When I'm in a normal mood, I'm one of the best friends you could ever have!  Like you Kate, I have two grown sons , they live in Canada and I'm in NC. My mother and sister live in Canada also. Yes, that's where I'm from originally. I married a man living here , and started a new life here. This is my second marriage, he is a great guy!!!  what a difference the second time around. It's like night and day.  He's not used to someone of my ' boldness' let's say, LOL . Most people here seem to take me the wrong way A LOT .  I'm very straight forward and to the point . I don't mean harm by it, it's just the way I am. I don't like playing head games . I guess you could say a black and white view , it's either yes, or no. Not difficult , at least not to me.  I'm 52 now, also been heavy since my childhood. I kind of blame my mother for that one. She was the type that was always shoving the left over food in front of you, because she didn't want leftovers.  She never cared what we ate or when .  My father was always putting us on secret diets without us knowing, like the grapefruit drink thing. I was a kid !!!!  didn't know what it was. He was always putting me down , all my life . You see, I was the one that should have been a boy ( in his mind ) . I have one sister, she's a girly girl . Older than I am by 2 years. I was a tom boy , tree climbing, fishing , archery etc. the athletic one.  WHAT HAPPENED !!!  I got arthritis and that did me in physically. I have really bad knee's now.  Other than that, I'm generally a happy person .  Put all the negative people behind me. My father has passed away years ago, my first husband was always negative with me. He's passed away also. I hate to say it, but it was like a burden lifted off my me . I could finally breathe and not have someone tell me I wasn't fit to breathe.

wickedwich, yes me too. I've lost and gained , lost and gained, over and over and over during my lifetime.  Many circumstances in my life have caused me to yo you like that . It's all emotional and mental ups and downs for me. All my life I've been told I was stupid, can't do anything, who'd want you , etc. etc. ....... because of it I believe I've missed out on a lot of opportunities and I resent it.  Now in my second life ( at least that is what I see it as)  I have more chances to be myself without being criticized . My present husband is wonderful to me, he's my prince charming . The man I didn't believe existed . He's real !!!!!!   and he's so loving and sweet .Where was he all my life?  here in the U.S.A.  He made me truly believe that gentlemen still exist . Who knew!  He allowed me to be me, and loves me for who I am. Not what I look like . Trust me, he didn't marry me for my body, LOL . I have many other good qualities . I'm an old fashioned girl in many ways, a Betty crocker, or Martha Stewart if you will . I like to cook and bake , crochet, treat my pets as part of the family, have special holdiay dinners and decorations etc. To me it's all normal stuff .  I still like a table cloth on my table. It may be old fashioned, but it's how I grew up and normal to me. Hopefully this tells you something about me. I'm not hard to get along with, as long as people don't play games with me, just be straight and honest , and I don't have a problem with that. Good or bad. It's the way I am !

What is your first name? You're in NC. I have an aunt in West Virginia. Maybe she has had to work hard at it...but she has been almost pencil thin most of her life. Like you, I am most often an optimist...whereas my husband, Tom tends to be a pestimist.

Am so glad you got a good spouse the second time around. Your childhood sounds similar to mine. My mother was always down on me 24/7. Who gets into major trouble as a 10 year old for dropping a dime or as a teenager sitting in my dad's place at the table when it wasn't mealtime to do some activity. Also, she would tell me what coarse hair I had and that my sister's hair was a pretty blonde. She would make ugly faces at me and than I got spanked for telling her that she didn't love me. When I was a teenager she accused me of having sex with my dad. I probaly did not even know what sex was. My dad just wasn't there, either working nights or else ignored me. He felt that was his way to protect me, as when he pd any attention to me my mother would be mean to me. She saw me as the other woman.

It was hard for me when she died because I never had a mother and now never would. None of my other siblings felt that way. I came to the conclusion that she was the best mother she could be with her illness and upon reaching  the age of 17, I became on my own in college. This became the time to take personal responsibility for my life. I forgave my parents and have been successful as a wife and mother, vowing to not repeat the same mistakes. My children grew up loved and with a sense of self confidence. They are both successful.

There are ghosts that come back to haunt me occasionally.

I talked to my daugher-in-law, the army wife. We are going to exercise together at 7:30 pm, that would be 8:30 your time. She will be going for a 3 mile walk down there in Lousiana and I will go for a walk, jog or bike ride here in Alexander, Iowa. Join us for a some exercise if you would like even if it is a short walk (one or two blocks). Are you under some treatment for the artheritis? Don't feel you have to exercise. Rush Limbaugh (love him or hate him) has lost quite a bit of way just through calorie reduction.

One post had a good suggestion...if I mess up on my calorie counting to than plan out my menu for the next day and stick to it. So far I have had a omelet with green peppers (last yrs garden) onions (from this year) and 2 eggs. I plan to work inside today...maybe I'll finish my butterfly painting. , do some housework...bake some bread. I have a whole wheat bread recipe that is a never fail and quite forgiving if I am not on top of it. I also need to make some yogurt. We don't even want to get to my husband's llist......book to finish editing, design a book cover, 3 prs of pants to hem, finish patio, make buns, do a graphic design for this fishing invention of his.

I also like to bake, cook, sew, crochet, knit, garden....biking, hiking...visit with friends, bible study and prayer. 

so good to hear from you. Your life changing CC pal, Kate

Hello wickedwitch 1

Whats the idea behind your name? Is it a self-powering name. Wicked witches seem so much more powerful and in control than good fairies. Not objecting to the name.

Congratulations on getting back into the game of lifestyle changes towards weight loss. What made it possible for you to lose the 125 lbs? That is so awesome.