Stuff About Weight Loss That Bugs Me

Mine is how people keep up the crap about how much better I must feel, or saying how great I look.  What do ya say when You have heard it for what seems the millionith time!! 

A friend of mine recently moved to a city where no one knows her, and she said how great it is not to be 'the one who lost all the weight' anymore.  So happy for her, but I realize I am kind of doomed to hearing it over and over again. 

The other one is one on me I think.  Since I have been back at the Y I have dropped off about 20 pounds, but haven't moved at all, and am scared of an increase when I see my Doc next Sat.  But people keep saying that I am looking better all the time, and I haven't moved that damn scale at all!!!

Maybe it's just people in general that bug me

I know a lot of people are motivated by positive comments, but I just hate to hear it from the same people over and over.

1st time - yay I'm pretty!

2nd time - thanks for noticing ... again

3rd time - how bleeping fat did you think I WAS?!

4th and beyond - STOP STALKING MY WEIGHT.

The perfect example is when a complete random stranger had to take my ID for some school stuff a few months ago, and she looked at the picture of my face and was like "Oh you lost some weight!"  and I was pleased as punch cause I really want it off of my face, and a non-judgemental stranger noticed the difference.

On the other hand, I got back home for spring break and I've only lost 11lbs since I last saw my dad (i'd lost about 30 before seeing him last time) and he keeps commenting.  I had this body last time he saw me, and he kept commenting then too.

I hate to say it, but I just feel like his comments are completely backhanded.  He's honestly quite overweight and unhealthy, and I think he's bitter that I'm not willing to be the same as he became.

Original Post by tealparadise:

I hate to say it, but I just feel like his comments are completely backhanded.  He's honestly quite overweight and unhealthy, and I think he's bitter that I'm not willing to be the same as he became.

 I know what you mean.  I'm preparing for my first trip home in well over a year.  I just know my dad's gonna have backhanded complements to give and talk about my healthy eating as if I think I'm better than everyone else.  And he's wayyy obese and unhealthy.

You know what bugs me about weight loss?  They praise, and praise, and praise you while you're trying to lose, when you're losing, and when you're maintaining your loss.  And then the second you gain half a pound everyone is preaching their fads to you and telling you you're basically a cow and should probably buy bigger pants!

Oh, and the icing on this delicious little cake of annoyance?  The people preaching about the fad diets are cows themselves who haven't lost a single pound on any of the 6 or 7 fad diets they've been on for the past ten years.

Mighty Duke of Indiana, people in general bug me, too.  This is why I like everyone so much better on the internet.  You only know what I don't photoshop.

How about how people feel that they now have the right grab you all the time: "Oh my gosh, look how skinny you are" while putting their hands around your waist, "Look how small your arms are..." etc. I didn't want you to be grabbing me all the time before I lost the weight, so why is it okay now?

My mom's started in on the backhanded compliments too. It used to be, wow, you look great, etc, but as of late, it's been, wow, I don't even recognize you. That was the first thing she said to me when I went home for Christmas, and a few days later, after seeing my driver's license photo, she said, "Now that's my son." What's that supposed to mean?

People who need to comment on other people’s bodies AT ALL do it because of the way they feel about their own bodies; if a person felt comfortable within their own bodies then they would NOT need to comment about OTHER peoples bodies.

I feel good about my body, so I do not need to comment on other people’s,

I think that it is only polite when it is some one you KNOW, weight is a personal issue, so if some one you know well works hard to lose weight then I think it can be great to let them know what a great job they are doing!

But, like all compliments, if you say it every single time you see them then it wears out and seams less genuine!

Ultimately, I think weight is too personal to comment on unless you know a person well enough.

When I was under weight suffering from disordered eating this girl from high school who was not my friend would say things like “ your thighs are the same size as my arms” and it would be like the FIRST thing she would say? And she barley knew me! To me, that is very rude to say to some one you are not close to, and who’s weight situation you know nothing about.

Not surprisingly, this girl is over weight and un healthy and has tones of insecurities within her self.

First, I love a genuine compliment!  A well-meaning person that wants to congratulate me is a true blessing.

There are a few people that have even said, "I'm so jealous."  I'll take that because it is honest.

Then there are the people that check out what I eat for lunch, monitor my snacks, and that I can't stand.

I suppose it's all about how the person meant it but there are people that just need to mind their own business.  Especially the people that say, "you are about to blow away."  I want to scream, "I weigh 206 pounds!  There's no chance of me blowing away."  (Edit:  80 some pounds is a big loss, but I'm not even close to my goal of 170 yet.)

I hate:  "are you losing weight?" 

Why not just say "hey you look great!" and leave it at that?  It is no ones business if you are losing weight and puts you in an akward place if you are not losing weight.

personaltrainer87 - I know exactly what you are talking about.  I have never been underweight but when I was a teen the girl I thought of as my best friend would say things like "you are so thin it makes me sick".

I finally got very tired of that and happily walked away from that relationship.

Right now there is a woman in my office who seems to think that my health is her hobby.  If I cough she says "you are always sick arent you?",  I have not had a sick day in a year and a half!  lol 

I hate:  "are you losing weight?" 

Why not just say "hey you look great!" and leave it at that?  It is no ones business if you are losing weight and puts you in an akward place if you are not losing weight.

personaltrainer87 - I know exactly what you are talking about.  I have never been underweight but when I was a teen the girl I thought of as my best friend would say things like "you are so thin it makes me sick".

I finally got very tired of that and happily walked away from that relationship.

Right now there is a woman in my office who seems to think that my health is her hobby.  If I cough she says "you are always sick arent you?",  I have not had a sick day in a year and a half!  lol 

I ran into a situation yesterday... For some reason, my parents and my sister don't seem to do anything social together that doesn't involve eating out. They are all also clinically obese, not surprising I guess...

Well yesterday was the first time since I started my weight loss journey that I took my kids and joined them for brunch. Well I wish I hadn't because it was so awkward! Of course, I was the last one to order, and after all the Big Breakfasts, clubhouses w/ fries and gravy, and crunchy chicken burgers, I ordered a grilled chicken salad, hold the cheese, dressing on the side, no garlic toast.  My mother's response was- "What's the point?"  I almost didn't know what to say... But I just replied that this Calorie Counting thing was really working for me, and that I was down almost 20lbs, and feeling really good. Her response "I'm not counting calories anymore, food is my only pleasure." Well, my husband and I have been trying to teach our kids that you need to eat to live, not live to eat.  And here is my family telling them that it's ok to eat whatever you want, as much as you want, because you feel like it.

Here's where I lost my cool... I wasn't rude about it, but I didn't want the end of the conversation that my kids were very intently listening to, being "eat whatever you like!" So I just replied, that the last time I went to the doctor, she was concerened that my BP seemed a little high and wanted to run a bunch of tests to look into diabetes, BP, thyroid issues. I made a commitment to myself that I was not going to be a slave to medications, when I could very easily fix most of those problems, with a change in lifestyle. These comments were made with a knowledge that both my parents have to spend around $500/mth on meds for conditions that could easily be lessened with just a little self control.

On a lighter note, I have to say- my 5 yr old daughter ordered chicken fingers w/ a garden salad, I was SO PROUD!

Needless to say, I probably won't be invited to come along on the weekly food outings again anytime soon. Thank goodness! Who wants to pay $10 for something that you can make at home for $2??? 

Just don't know why do people have to make underhanded comments when people are trying to do something good for themselves?

Original Post by tealparadise:

1st time - yay I'm pretty!

2nd time - thanks for noticing ... again

3rd time - how bleeping fat did you think I WAS?!

4th and beyond - STOP STALKING MY WEIGHT.

 I think step one lasted a bit longer for me...but after a while I was definitely also like "Ummm, was I that fat?  Why do you think this is ok to bring up?  What's going on?"

Although, now I don't get the comments anymore, so somtimes I wish people weren't used to it.

I haven't even lost much weight at this point, but it annoys the heck out of me that there are people in my life who tell me "You wouldn't look good skinny."  Excuse me?  Way to sabotage!

There's someone at work who's lost weight and has worked really hard to keep it off.  I hear people tell him that he's "melting away" in a tone of voice that says he shouldn't be trying so hard anymore.  I told him to go ahead and keep melting!

I don't think anything bugs me about weight loss. If someone notices my progress, I think it is great, if they don't that is fine too. I am not doing it for the recognition, but to become a healthier me. I think it is funny, that these comments bother so many people. I guess if someone notices me losing weight, it does have an implication maybe of "what did they think about me before?" but, why should I care what they think? The truth is, I am that fat, so if people keep commenting, I am not going to be offended, I am going to feel proud that I was able to go from being an obese me, to a healthy weight me. And for those of you that think that is offensive, the reality is, many of us were that fat. And it is okay to be honest about it. I can say truthfully, I have used food for comfort, or to ease boredom, or just because it tasted so good I didn't want to stop even when I was full. For all of you, be proud of your accomplishment, and don't fret about what other people think of you, or what they used to think of the fat version of you, focus on your weight loss, and tell people you feel great!

Makenasmom- I have that experience almost every week, not only am I watching my quantity and calories but I don't eat meat or dairy. I always order off the menu and only occassionally ask for a substitution.

We live in a small town and one of the few pleasures we have is going out to eat on Sat night and socializing with friends. They are almost always all guys-my boyfriend's friends and the comments I get, the eyes rolling, etc. "you really oughta start eating meat"(can you believe that-what if I told them to stop!)

 I don't preach at all and I never complain I can't find anything -and alot of time there is not much!

My own bf-says the other day when I am looking at a food label on a square of dark chocolate-to everyone at his mother's-"now she's got to check the calories". I wanted to kill him.

And I love it when people say "Can you eat that?" I can eat anything I freakin want to-I just may CHOOSE not to!!!!!! (I say demurely;-)

I've had people make very rude remarks about eating healthy. I was very thin, around a size 6, and I wanted to maintain my weight by eating healthy snacks. On my lunch break, when I would go up to the cashier, they would always look at the food I was buying and saying, "why are you buying health snacks? why are you buying low sugar juice? you are so skinny you don't need this stuff"

then the cashier would yell over the next register at the other cashier and say, "look how thin this girl is and she's buying wheat snacks. she needs to go over to mcdonald's and buy a big mac"

both cashiers laughing and telling me I need to eat in unison.

At work I became the skinny girl who was weight conscious and ate nasty healthy food during lunch. It was so annoying

Yeah really.  In my adult life, I was probably thinnest around age 29-30.  I only weighed about 120, but the reason I lost weight was b/c of a tough personal situation I was going through at the time (no appetite).

I used to get compliments on how "great" I looked all the time and I was thinking-- "you people have no idea how unhappy I am and yet you tell me how great I look."  It was kind of sickly disturbing.

I gotta say that the worst comment I've gotten was

"You're finally starting to look like a normal person, you shouldn't have that cookie or you might go back to looking like 2"

I was so angry!!!
I mean how dare you?!

My family is usually the culprit in commenting on my weight -

My dad is OBSESSED with my weight - what I ate, did I work out, how much?
It's really bad, and there have been some really mean comments from his end (I've been overweight my whole life, not obese, just not the thin girl).

My mum always tries to avoid my calorie counting and gets upset when I deny food. BUT, she's been encouraging saying that I've lost a lot, and look a lot "better". I like that comment, because I really wasn't happy when I weighed more.

My Grandma's (both of them), are always on my case about how I look. I'm too big, I'm okay, I'm not eating enough "here try this double chocolate coconut butter something something", or a "you need to work out more, watch what you eat". Sometimes all in the same visit.

My cousin, and good friend, is probably the best in all of this because she didn't comment on anything until I mentioned that I've been trying to lose weight, and she said she'd noticed, and thought I looked great.

Sooo, in the end, after that family tangent, I'd have to say I like comments, and usually don't get enough from outside the family. But I know for a fact that if some individual keeps updating me on my weight and food, I'll probably end up politely telling them to step off :)

i just really hate it when im walking in the hallways and onfe of my friends is like "WOW you lost so much WEIGHT!" and pretty much screams it and it theres like 50 people in the hallway..... uhhh so everyone just looks at me, ..... its really awkward so i just run away lol =D

huh. i ran into a friend the other day who's lost a bunch of weight. instead of commenting on that i told her that she looks great, that she's moving so fast (she's an older lady with arthritis, and uses a cane). i asked her if she feels good, and she said she does. she just smiled the whole time.

hope i didn't offend her.

What bugs me about losing weight? People who bitch about the compliments they receive after working so hard to become healthier and look better. Maybe I've been fortunate to not run into many weird, rude, or overly complimentary people since losing my first 25 lbs, but I hear about it all the time on CC and simply cannot wrap my mind around why it would bother people to be acknowledged for the hard work and dedication they've displayed. Just say thanks & move on.