Am I Being Stupid?

I feel like I'm being stupid. I'm 14 and I weigh 134 and I'm 5 ft. 6. I know I'm not terribly fat, but all my friends are thin, and I have so much pressure on me to lose weight. But I feel weird about counting calories and stuff because my family and my friends are always pushing me to eat things, but I don't know how many calories are in them. It's also weird because I feel like people are always saying how they wish they could have the body they had in high school, but I'm not happy with my body now. I feel like counting calories is weird for someone my age to do, but if I don't I know I'll never get down to 126. Help please!

There don't seem to be alot of people who don't find flaws in their bodies. You don't sound over weight at all. But it's great to be interested in what you put into your body. Just researching this site can really be a good education. If you go into some of the food sites you may be surprised. I grew up in a house that pushed food at me always. "clean your plate" blah...blah...blah. I'm now an old lady of 54, and I've had weight issues all my life. Perhaps if I'd had the tools to investigate the fuel I lived on, things may have been different. Good luck and blessings to you. You are NOT stupid!!!

Short answer to your thread question: probably, yes.

You're at a lovely slender weight now (BMI 21.6) and there really is no reason for you to lose any weight. I don't know where this pressure is coming from (school and friends, probably) but it's an unhealthy pressure and I'd advise you to resist it wholeheartedly.

Almost nobody is happy with their body in high school. It's only later on, when that body is long gone, that you realize what you really had. At 14 I had your BMI, and looking back, I think... wow. I can't believe I ever thought I was fat then. Certainly the male attention I got seemed to belie that impression, as it probably does with you too.

Don't count calories, don't start that cycle and pattern now. There's no need for it and it will just make you obsessive about food. Which is something no slender young girl needs. There is no significant difference between 126 and 134 for a girl your height, and it really is not worth your time or effort to try to lose eight basically invisible pounds. (Yes, I know they are visible to you, but I assure you that they are invisible to others, unless those others are incredibly catty and/or have eating disorders).

Work on your confidence, darling, not your body!! :)

Peer pressure sucks!

Just tell them that you are happy with your body and that you know that you look good.

You are at a healthy weight for your age.  Enjoy yourself, eat well and stay healthy.

to me, age is not a restriction. You shouldnt feel weird counting calories. If you want to, you can. About the family trying to feed you, it depends on the food first of all and you can find the calories on here. Really, I always thought what I ate from my family was heavy in calories, but I believe people overestimate what amount of calories are in foods (at least I did). But if you dont want to eat the food your family feeds you, then just say thanks, but I'm full.

Even if you feel comfortable, tell them you are watching what you eat. I wish I had the drive you have now when I was 14 (I'm 16 now) I have been trying to lose from 156 to 127 (now) since then! There is no harm in starting early as long as you dont become obsessed with counting (like me, I have to fix that!)

but really, that is a healthy weight for your height. Who cares about peer pressure? I think the pressure was always in my head and thats why I screwed up losing in the beginning. But if you are comfortable with your body, strut your stuff!!! and if not, work a lil bit harder to lose the weight and you will feel great! (hey that rhymes!!) Good Luck!:) Contact me for more help, sorry about the novel I just wrote you I do that alot! 

Hey, don't worry lovey, your not being stupid. At you age (at ANY age) it can be really hard to feel happy about your body, especially if you feel like you are surrounded by people who look thinner/prittier/taller/bigger boobed/smalled boobed (the list goes on!) than you, even if you look totally healthy and great youself!

But the important thing to remember, an I'm glad that you said it, is that you are healthy and your not fat! If you feel like keeping an eye on how much junk food you eat or how much you snack would make you feel better about your body then you could try doing that, or you could try getting in more excersize to make you feel more toned and confident, around your friends.

Just try to keep in mind that you do look good and healthy, than you love your body, so just put good stuff into it and you will look better on the outside!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Your post really touched me because I was you 35 years ago. Your friends probably have little boy hips and haven't started getting more of a women's figure yet. I understand why you envy them. I really was your weight and height. I can tell you that even when I lost weight between my Jr & Sr year and got down to 118 pounds, I didn't look like those girls. I couldn't appreciate how good I did look because I was trying to reach a standard that just was not possible for my build. I hope you don't waste your teen years chasing that.

While there is a lot to be learned on CC about nutrition, I really hope you don't spend too much time here. Try to be aware but not obsessed.

Make the best of the body you have. At your age you would be much better off being very physically active than counting calories. You'll be toned and very healthy. If you do that, 35 years from now (& most of the time inbetween) you'll be looking and feeling better than those skinny girls who just happen to inherit the tendancy to be thin teens. (I could give you some great class reunion stories but that wouldn't be nice!)

Whats your body fat %? Don't pay attention to your BMI number. It means nothing, especially if you are atheletic or under-atheletic. BMI is one of those 'magic' numbers, that really works for about 40% of people, and misses the ballpark on the rest... Get your BF measured (or do it yourself), and then decide what you want your BF to be (or if its already there)... Women should never be less than 12% body fat, and for the 'atheletic, female six pack' ideally around 16-18%, which is very low for a woman... 

"There is no significant difference between 126 and 134 for a girl your height, and it really is not worth your time or effort to try to lose eight basically invisible pounds."

That is absolutely not true.  I am 5'6 and 8 lbs is a whole size different and think 126 is a realistic goal, though 134 is NOT fat either.  I don't think counting calories is the way to go for a girl your age, but do think it is important to be aware of what you are putting in your body.  Just tell your friends and family you want to be healthier and add fruit and veggies to your daily menu and cut out a few of the bad things.  Everything in moderation, so eat what you normally do, just a little less and add the healthy things in place and you will lose a couple pounds naturally.

ah to be that thin, if you get any skinnier you might snap in half, lol i think you should stay the way you are now.

Hey everyone! Thanks so much for your positive feedback! When I first asked this question I was expecting some negative things on how teen girls are stupid for being insecure, but you guys proved me wrong! I wrote like a paragraph to each of you!

Munsey: thank you for your feedback! I really do think I need to know more about what I eat and what it can do to me. I feel like I end up eating things that I think are healthy but aren't.

trustwomen: Thanks for calling me slender! And you're right, the pressure is coming from school and friends. I do feel like if they can be thin, I should be able to. But about not obsessing over food, I  think about that a lot. I don't want to be obsessive, but it is getting that way.  I do need confidence too, but it's hard to come by in my school. The thinest of girls are insecure. 

spoiled_candy: Ha! I agree! Peer pressure does suck, but the thing is I don't feel good about my body, but I know I should.

funindasun: My family and my friends all know that I watch what I eat, but they usually start me on eating, then I can't stop myself. I'm not obsessed with counting, yet. It's too hard for me to know exact numbers and things. Your feedback really helps though. I feel like since you're around my age you understand what I'm trying to say. One question: how am I supposed to count everything I eat without my friends getting worried?

miss_trouble:  Thank you! I feel like most older people look and say that I'll have my whole life to worry about weight and stuff, but that's my point. I want to get into good habits now so its not so hard later.  I'm trying to love my body too, but I just can't help myself when I look in the mirror and don't see what I want to.

chris1208: Yea, most of the girls I look at do have tiny little hips. But in reality, most of my fattness lies on my stomach, not but but or thighs. And I know that no matter how low I go on the scales, I won't be happy. I try to make the best of my body. I'm very physically fit. I can run quick, I can do most exercises, I'm very physically active. I just eat too much. What I'm really using CC for is to stop me from overeating, which is my huge problem And I'd love to hear your class reunion stories! Well, the ones with happy endings anyway!

techraven: Yeah, I've tried to calculate body fat %. The last time I did it was like, last year though. I'll try it and see what it says :)

leiann: I know counting calories is a bit extreme for a girl my age. My would think I'm crazy. Thanks for your advice!

thekimberly: haha! thanks! 

 

 

well, i have to say that you aren't overweight. check your BMI. im 5'6" and 135 is my goal weight so..... Consider your body image? I thought I was 'fat' in high school, but i wasn't. I just wasn't meant to be a tiny person. They call it average for a reason. Where is this pressure coming from? If it's your friends, that's not good. They should only be encouraging (not pressuring) if you have a serious weight problem. I like my body a lot more than i did in high school. You're on a calories counting website, you should have anymore trouble knowing what calories are in foods. I'm sorry to say, but we can't really help you. We can encourage you, but if you feel that bad about your weight, your the only one that can exercise and eat better.  Unfortunately, i think 10lbs may never be enough, because the problem is in your head.  Try to enjoy your youth and have fun, and if you feel like you need to lose weight to do it, i wish you the best.

Just be healthy.

jen_577

Argghhh, stop mentioning BMI, it doesent say crap.... My friends obesse according to his BMI, yet i'd kill to have his body (Around 7% BF and built), and another friend she's 'low end' of the BMI scale, yet 25% bodyfat (which is in the slightly overweight rung)....

Not only you have a healthy BMI and surely a lovely body that many girls envy and boys look, but also dieting/ counting can start a cycle that in the long run end up with MORE, and not less, weight.

Why? because when we start restricting needlessly, our brains starts transmitting those big cravings for calorie dense foods such as cookies, etcetera, and more often than not we end up overeating...we lose three pounds and gain five.

You're tall and slender, just a beauty.

One thing you can do- make sure you eat 2 pieces of fruit and 3 servings of vegetables every day, besides a range of varied and healthy food that includes everything, including bread & pasta, some meat, beans, nuts & seeds, milk & cheese ( not too much).

And don't skip your breakfast! It energizes you & makes you more active. People that eat breakfast are slender on average, even if they eat more calories than people who don't.

And, in the long run, people who don't diet or restrict but practice healthy habits are slender and stronger than those who diet & obsess. Probably also more fulfilled.

Maybe this uncertainty can be better helped by a hobby, or volunteering, something that can help you feel useful and loved. Because basically, that's what we are all looking for. Our size is one of the least factors to influence our being loved.

Me? I suffered from severe hip dysplasia sice being a child, so my doctors always told me I need to be slender. I've always been successful with the long time view, never with diets, sweeteners or surrogates. I'm regarded as lean by many people, but I could be more fit, which I'm trying to work on. I think I'm rather normal with my size for my age.

In my experience with teens lean does not mean happy, but the contrary...because it does not give, in reality, any fulfillment. Which has more to do with friendship, love, creativity and strength.

All the best

Oh man... what kinda friends do u have girl? Just cuz they are anorexic looking doesn't mean u have to be. I would dump those type of friends and get healthier friends.  Ever saw this frase anywhere? "DEAR LORD, IF YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SKINNY PLEASE MAKE ALL MY FRIENDS FAT" well i only have one skinny friend and i don't even hang out with her, she is from back in high school and i don't feel comfortable i guess cuz im way fatter, so i just hang out with people that are plus size and beautiful. Plus only dogs like bones. So be happy with what you got girl. U have the perfect weight for your height.

 

jen_57 is correct that BMI and such measures are estimates, only.  That's why a "healthy" BMI is not a single number, but a range between 19 and 24.9.  As you can see, at 21, you're comfortably in the low to middle of your range.

I disagree with jen_57 that you should only look at body fat.  At your age, body fat is not the best gauge for health.  It is true that BMI is most inaccurate with athletic bodies -- that's because muscle is significantly heavier (though smaller in size) than fat.  So, if you have a larger-than-average ratio of lean to fat, the BMI ranges can be understated for you.  In other words, you would actually be healthier at a slightly higher BMI. 

However, you say nothing about training for the Olympics, so I am assuming you lead a fairly normal teenage life.

I'm not sure what you mean about carrying weight around your middle.  If your upper abdomen is puffing out, that would be something to discuss with your physician.  But, if you have a bit of a "pot" belly -- well, welcome to womanhood.

That flat stomach, model-perfect body that so many of us try to be is something that only 2% of women in the world are capable of reaching.  The rest of us simply do not have the genetic makeup for it.  And frequently, the whole onset of weight and food problems spring from this basic attempt to do the impossible.  Please do not fall into that trap.

Also, right now you are still growing.  Even if your height is stable, your body mass in important places (muscles, sinew, brain, heart and lungs) is still increasing.  This is the the worst time for you not to be feeding your body all that it needs to set you up for a healthy life.

Peer pressure sucks.  We've all been through it -- and to be perfectly honest, although the subject matter of the pressure changes, peer pressure is something we never escape.  At least, I haven't found any yet, and I'm 54.  So now is as good a time as any to adopt the attitude of yeah, thanks for your concern, I'll think about it -- and then just drop it if it doesn't ring true for you.

I'd also like you and your "skinnie" friends to look at a video:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

It should be an eye opener.  It certainly was for me.  I knew that all the pictures we see of beauty in magazines was as much a function of lighting, filters and makeup.  I didn't realize how much digital re-making went on. 

That 2% I mentioned -- even they don't look the way we are told they look -- it's all illusion.

That's a lousy thing to get obsessed over or enslaved by, don't you think?

Eat healthy.  Eat enough.  Not too much.  Mostly plants.  You won't go wrong with that.

Ah! I forgot...if your "friends" are not too smart and pressure you, mybe it's time to consider other people also, besides other interests.

Maybe you are a little more developed, and boys look at you more than they llok at her /them,  so they need to console thenselves that they are thinner (less feminine?) .

There's nothing wrong to want to know about nutrition and calories, but...at your age is not healthy to want to reduce a weight that is at a healthy level.  Opens roads that bring to disordered eating more often than not.

Eliana

just to clear it up, i wasn't saying that BMI is everything, in fact i use it as a vague guideline. I was just saying that with a BMI like that, she can't be as overweight as she thinks. That's all. And if so, she just prob just needs to work on toning instead of looking at the scale.

just to clear it up, i wasn't saying that BMI is everything, in fact i use it as a vague guideline. I was just saying that with a BMI like that, she can't be as overweight as she thinks. That's all. And if so, she just prob just needs to work on toning instead of looking at the scale.

Spot on, jen_577.

You, too, might want to look up that video I recommended to the original poster.  No wonder so many of us have distorted views of our bodies!