such confusion...

Okay I am having a tough time telling what is on this one guys mind. I don't know if he is just feeding me lines or being truthful. Long story short we ment over the summer on vacation, found that on the last night we both like each other and now since then have been chatting and emailing online. I am in the states he is in europe. I am 20 yrs old he is 22. I have never had a relationship but he had something long term for two years. I think he is flirty with me but then I don't know how much he is into me. I am wondering if I am more into him then he is into me. Because it might be that we won;t see each other this summer. ANd I have it in my head that if he really liked me he would make it happen. He told me he would do everything in his power to make us come together, and we still had so much to experience together.

SO going off that I would think yeah maybe I will see him again. But now it does not seem like it's gonna happen. Because I don't know do you think he just said that at the time becuae it looked good? I can take the truth and I wonder if he is lying? I know he has lot's of friends that are girls his best friend is my cousin. Am I crazy to think that if he really cared he would see me this summer? I'm new at this and If I dont't see him...then what?  

Bleh this is so long and not very well written but I just have sooo many thoughts swimming in my head. I would like someone elses opinion because I don't really trust mine.

He's just not that into you. :(

 ( imo: The question above wouldn't be a concern if he were into you. The truth is that you'd know he were into you. You don't. He's not. Or: You know he's not yet don't want to admit it thus the rationalization via questioning.)

I hope that doesn't come off as harsh just an honest opinion. Good luck!

Original Post by enchantingimage:

He's just not that into you. :(

maybe not...but here's my long distance love story-

Met hub when I was 16 at a teen winter camp. He went to college 3000 kms away, and although we were supposed to see each other over the summer, he couldn't make it work.

He made it work the following Christmas, spring break, and for my HS prom though (and I went to visit him one weekend). 3 months later he moved back to the area, we got engaged, and our 14 year wedding anniversary is this summer.

It's possible to be "exclusively dating" long distance, but it sounds as though he hasn't expressed interest in that.

I would say find out how interested he is before spending too much time waiting for something that he has no intention of it ever becoming.

Guys like it when they know that girls like them. It inflates their ego. So he may be keeping you around for your affection to boost his confidence.

Personally, I would drop it and find a more local relationship. But if you want to hang on to this, don't invest too much time or devote too much of your heart.

From personal experience long distance relationships never work out well at least it did not for me many years ago before all the emailing and texting. You are so young do not waste time on someone that is not showing you the attention you deserve.

Hmm I feel like I don't know we talk twice a week or so and he is always asking what I'm up to etc. I just am not a very confident person. I will admit I even avoided talking with him because I was worried I would just say something dumb. What I really want is just to be able to hang out with him and REALLY get to now him. I mean I always heard it is a very bad idea to ask a guy what are his intentions and I wonder if maybe I should or should not. I like being friends with him and like who he is. but I also have stronger feelings... 

Lets be frank here - when someone is on a completely different continent "making it happen" might be a freaking logistical nightmare.

Give the guy a break.  He might think you are completely fantastic but unwilling to admit he simply can not afford to travel. 

You are 22 - so stop acting like you are in high school and passing notes in class.  Just ask him he has the means, ability and willingness to use what he has to see you.  Better yet - offer to meet him half way.  Get the ball rolling yourself.  Ask him to make plans with you.  If he cant, accept it.  Its not like he is conveniently in the next town and just making excuses not to pick you up after work. Likely he has some real world concerns to tackle. 

I see what you mean, it's just I already asked if he has summer plans and I don't wanna keep pressing about it because I feel that would be annoying. And I don't know how  I would ask just point blank? Do you wanna make plans to see each other this summer? Or more sly like I really need a vacation now...we should take one together? 

See I'm always over thinking things....But maybe he IS waiting for me to say something definite like let's make plans. But then what if he does like me just not as much anymore :/ would I scare him off?

Original Post by funnyface78:

I see what you mean, it's just I already asked if he has summer plans and I don't wanna keep pressing about it because I feel that would be annoying. And I don't know how  I would ask just point blank? Do you wanna make plans to see each other this summer? Or more sly like I really need a vacation now...we should take one together? 

See I'm always over thinking things....But maybe he IS waiting for me to say something definite like let's make plans. But then what if he does like me just not as much anymore :/ would I scare him off?

 It doesn't sound like this relationship has advanced at all,imo. At least not to a real level of mutual interest. Your question: "Would you scare him off?" Seriously? This relationship is already pretty close to off already. Nothing is exactly ' on '...

Be adult. Find out. Stop considering playing sly games with him. Be direct. Seriously. Talk about expenses of a round trip,ect.

It's far more productive to just be forward about your stance. Are you willing to travel there/pay for tickets to go see him? Is he able to come see you? Money/time wise? Make your own plan to come see him. Toss something solid it at him... He'll either catch it or let it fall.

It sounds like you're the only one pursuing/questioning things between you. Toss something real at him and watch his reaction. Be real.

 Opinion aside I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully things are just on delay.:)  Find out! Stop procrastinating/wasting your time: "Waiting on him... possibly waiting on you."

I agree with enchanting image.  Suggest something concrete that both of you pay for.  He might not be able to afford to do a trip or come see you, but he should be willing to have you come visit him if he's at all interested.  Of course, I don't know many men that wouldn't be willing to have a woman come visit them for a short time.

Long distance is a convenient way to avoid relationships for many...it may not be the case here, but how are you going to hang out with him and find out whether or not you're compatible if you don't?  He's not local so you can't just go hang out when the mood strikes you, you have to plan things ahead of time and so does he. 

I'm sure that both of you have many other romantic opportunities that are more convenient, the question is, is it worth it to you to pass over those other opportunities in lieu of a distant possiblity...of course, he'll have to determine the same thing for himself.