When you have no support at home and no willpower yourself

I'm trying this again...to lose weight that is.  I'm reading researching getting my mind back in the right frame so i can eat healthy and watch my calories.  rtecently I read a questionaire type thing about why my last (and all before it) diets have failed. I KNOW why...lack of excersise, I DO NONE.  Havent in years. 

I can't join a gym, cant afford it and its a year contract.  Can't buy a machine cause we just got rid of the treadmill I had to have but never used.  I have tapes but No motivation to use them.  My husband is the reason.  Well, and so am I but when you have someone like me who has absolutely no will power and no motivation...saying things like "why buy a membership or spend money on a machine that you wont stick with" just isnt the things to say.  Bringing home junk food when you go buy a loaf a bread, not right.  Eating in front of me...for an hour...late 9pm everything else thats in the house...doesnt help me loose weight.

I'm at the end of my rope here...how can I possibly loose weight in this house?  How can I motivate myself, by myself, to get these pounds off?  Is there anyone in this boat with me??  Do any of you feel like why even bother trying again, cause I know I'm going to fail, again.  Wrong attitude I know but thats the way I feel.

Thanks for letting me ramble and wallow.

Wen

I am not sure about posting this.

Ok I sure don't want to come off as mean, or to discourage you,but... you have a lot of reasons listed there as to why you can't make this work.

You can't afford, your husband won't let you, you have no support, you have no will power and the big one, you are going to fail.

You have to focus past that.

The key for me has been me; me wanting so badly to lose, me being ready to lose, me being in charge of what I eat, me walking, me making food that keeps my intake where I need it and me finding the support and information I needed.


You have found the support here, this board is loaded with helpful, insightful people to help support you and for you also to support.  

So I guess now you have to push the rest of that out of your mind and to focus on if you are ready, if you will, want and need are really there.

Even though you can't do major exercise, you could always do basic exerises. Wal-Mart or anywhere else, Park far or very far away so you can walk. Take stairs, not elevators. Just anything simple can be turned for the best! These are very small things you may do but for support, we will always be here for you and support you in any way. ^^

Hello Wen

Been there for 5 years.  But been working on my husband for 5 years too.  He now understands that I will NEVER give up - that I will *nag* him until he understands CLEARLY that this is a lifestyle that we BOTH must have for us to become healthy and stay there.  He is now (new year and all) seeming to be more serious about this whole change I am trying to bring about.

I do keep in mind (and mfchill is correct) to not dwell on the past or negative stuff but to take each day and eash minute as it comes.  Something I learned from weight watchers and it works EVERYWHERE not just to loose weight is a tool called positive feedback (or reinforcement).  So the trick for you is to FIRST get yourself to a point where you are ready to take on this difficult challange mentally and then just live momement to momement do it.

Naturally you will fail at times but if you just work on the next time a challange comes, well before you know it you are changing yourself into a better person.

Enough of my ramble.

Good luck and happy healthy new year!

AngelFish

Your story sounds familiar.  My husband likes me soft and round.  I got serious when my weight and lack of exercise was making me walk like a really old woman because of the pain in my feet.  I had to want to do it  (to lose weight) only for me and not think about anything else.  I dedicated ALL my spare time to this site and got lots of information about living a healthy life.  If you want to you can do it.  :)  If you really aren't serious about it yet well, there is nothing anyone can do or say.  Like mfchill said, this site is great and we are here for you if you decide to work at it.  My slow success has been simply, not giving up.  And a word of advice from an almost 52 year old, AS YOU GET OLDER IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER to shed those pounds.

:)

lol

Wen!! oh my goodness, *hugsssssss* I FEEL YOU!!! It happened to me in a different form, i live with a roommate, which is also my best friend. I never eat like this before, but ever since i moved in with her, i've gained 14 kgs!! I cant manage myself not to copy her way of life. At the beginning, i was sad and feel trapped cuz i cant move out unless i transfer in summer 2007. Beside, all the bad eating habit has eaten me and it is soo hard to go back in track in this situation.
But well, right now i try to learn that she and i are different persons. I can do whatever i want towards myself an nobody could stop me from doing that. So yea, i think u can start with managing ur diet (use the CC food log). And if u could, start doing little excercise like jogging or something. I still feel frustated sometimes. But i do know alot of ppl here experiencing the same thing with me too.. So dont feel alone :)))

Get out and walk :) if you have cable watch lifetime at 6am and 6:30 am for denise austin cardio and yoga, do the grocery shopping alone so you can by healthy foods, if he wants to eat junk, let him go out and eat it by himself. Maybe if he no longer enjoys it because you aren't there, he'll stop.

I really hope you get through it! Don't let anyone let you feel like you arent worth it!

Stick with it honey! Life is full of challenges, and each one deepens our character--makes us stronger and more alive. You can do this--don't dwell on the past. Look at it as a learning opportunity that revealed to you your strengths and weakenesses, and let it go. Today is a new beautiful day, and it is what you make of it! Good Luck!

First of all... you CAN and WILL LOSE WEIGHT... that said, stop blaming your husband.  He is who he is right now ... ignore him and do exactly what you need to make yourself healthy.  He is not the reason ... you are... and you need to really own up to that fact.  Sorry if it sounds tough...but it's the same for me with everyone at work eating all the junk.  I have to say no because it's not what I want for myself. 

I can't afford to join a gym either and my motivation to "exercise" is not all there either.  But I walk to the train station and home every day (20 mins each way)... and I do a lot of physical exercise renovating and cleaning my home.  Find ways to get physical activity into your daily routine - even if it's only a 10 minute walk outdoors to start.  It will get you moving and that's key. 

You DO HAVE SUPPORT ... it's here at CC ... just not at home yet...

Make sure that you have healthy and satisfying snacks set aside for you when he brings out the junk food.  While he's having potato chips, you're having a measured portion of Quakes (rice cake treats made by QuakerFoods), a wedge of baby bell cheese and a cup of hot tea.  Don't eat what he does... find your own alternatives. 

I just had to hop in here and add a few words of encouragement.  You do have willpower, you're here aren't you?  That's the biggest step, deciding that you want to do something and trying to figure out how to do it.  And, when you're lacking the motivation, come here and ramble all you want.  We'll help encourage you to move on.  You could use the negative statements as motivation to prove your husband wrong, you CAN stick with it.  Perhaps after some success, you will motivate him.

You can do exercise without a gym or equipment.  You can use cans for weights, use your own body weight for resistance exercises, park far away from stores, walk up and down the stairs at home, do one of your videos.  Every little thing makes a difference.  Go Team!

Hi Wen,

I have been in a similar situation, especially regarding having no motivation. 

I don't mean to sound uncaring or harsh, because believe me I sympathize with you.  But you use the word "can't" far too many times in your post.  Stop it.  You have made the decision that you need to lose weight and get healthy.  Now is the time to be just a little bit selfish and focus on you and your needs.  Stop worrying about what your husband says or does.  If he wants to buy junk food, fine.  Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it.  If he has opinions about how, when, or where you exercise, fine.  It doesn't mean you have to agree, or even listen to him.  You know what you have to do, and the only person who can make it happen is you.

The only two things I have purchased for exercise are a $99.00 bicycle and a good pair of walking shoes.  Between biking, walking, and making my own choices about what foods I will eat, I have lost 67 pounds.  No gym or videotapes were necessary.  As you have already found, C-C is a great place to hang out and find support and information. 

Don't give up on yourself!  You can do this!