No support from my husband about weight loss.

Is there anyone out there that would like to join a group about changing your life by changing what you eat & exercising daily and not just doing a "diet" to loose a few pounds.  I am new to all of this and looking for a few on-line friends to join with me to keep each other accountable, bounce ideas off of, share success's and pick each up should we trip up along the way.  I have about 90 pounds to loose and just started this lifestyle change 3 weeks ago.  I am not getting much support from my husband because to be honest, he doesn't think I will stick with this.  Is there anybody out there in the same boat?

My husband usually is supportive....but lately (like for the past 2 months!) I've been slacking and he's been making comments - I don't like it at all. It's not motivating to hear anyone say "oh ok, I'm sure you'll wake up early and do your video" - or "we'll see if you go to the gym". ugh. I mean, he's not trying to be mean I think, I guess it would be annoying to hear my saying the same things over and over......I wish it would make me want to prove it to him that I can stick with this. Oh well....what can you do I guess other than just keep trying to lose weight for yourself.

Anyways, good luck with this. I also have around as much weight to lose. Are you working out or just watching what you are eating?

I guess my motivation was when I turned  40 in May and his comment was GOD your getting old, fat & gray... Yea, it crushed me & he said it in a "joking" way but it really pissed me off!  That is my motivation.  By the way, he will be 43 in Nov. about 50 pounds over weight & mostly gray!  Sometimes men can be so stupid!

As far as losing, I am walking every night at least 1 mile which is 30 minutes for me, and last night I added biking, it was only 10 more minutes but I had to start somewhere.  I am also writing down every thing I put into my mouth to watch the calories in vs. the calories burnt.  I am trying to stay on a 1200-1400 calorie consumption per day.  I am also trying to drink as much water as I can, with the goal being 96 oz per day, but that is a lot & I am not doing so well with that side of it.  So far I have lost 5.8 pounds in 2 weeks & my weekly weigh-in is tonight so I hope I can add to that number. 

Do you have anyone you can work out with?  I usually walk with our daughter at night or walk the dogs by myself. 

hi indyquilter88

i totally feel what your are going through.  i am a single parent so i don't get the smart talk from my spouse but i do get it from my 16 year son.  i have been trying to lose weight for what seems like forever, so far i have lost 17 lbs. in three months - slow but steady.  and i felt good about it but my son's only comment is that i'm so big it's not noticeable, he cann't see a difference.  but you know what; i decided that i'm doing this for my health, so now i don't mention my weight in front of him and it feels great.  it's like i have a secret of my own.  i do share my weight loss with the ladies at my gym, who are postive supporters but not with anyone who is going to be negative about it.  so long story short.  you go and get healthy for yourself.  and if it helps:  I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU.

Thank you so much and I think it is awesome that you have lost 17 pounds in three months!  Good for you and you have to keep it up so you can live a long and healthier life. 

I truly feel like a light bulb went off when my husband made that nasty remark to me and I knew that I needed to do something but never did anything about it.  I always used the excuse, I'm too busy to eat healthy or get any type of exercise because I am always busy with the kids activities & then he said that & it all came into focus that if I don't do something about my health, I won't be to busy because I'llbe dead.  I can't imagine not seeing my kids grow up and see my grand kids and hopefully my great grand kids!  That idea just breaks my heart.

I agree, it is truly about MY health not any one else.  In fact, there are only a few people who know I am trying to loose weight because it is truly none of their business!  I am a diabetic withhigh cholesterol and on three types of daily meds and I am sick & tired of being sick & tired! 

I agree with you that I have to keep myself away from people's "toxic" opinions.  I have a 15 yrd. old daughter who is very supportive and she is my walking buddy and she keeps a very close eye on my calorie intake and is constantly trying to get me and move.  I am blessed that she is such a good kid. 

Good luck on your journey and I hope we can keep in touch to cheer each other on in this lifestyle change!

hi indyquilter88

i know you are going for your weigh in today. i just wanted to wish you luck.  i know how it feels to weigh in:  for me it is very much in my head, the minute i know i have to weigh in i actually feel my body swelling up. just the mention of weighing in makes me shake and when i do weigh in i hold my breath in hopes that it will help with my results.  but i keep telling myself no matter the amount 1/2 a lbs or more:  IT'S OFF ME!! OMG IT'S OFF ME!!, then i treat myself to a new nail polish color - something happy and i try to stick to my food plan until my next weigh in - just another week - I CAN DO JUST ANOTHER WEEK! YES, I CAN!!

hey :)

i'm not married or a parent, but when i was growing up i was always that chubby girl or slightly overweight one. My sister had the nice body and looks while i got the brains. sure it was nice to be smart, but frankly it gets crushing after awhile when guys don't want you.

I finally got into a relationship with a guy, after losing 35lbs (was 190, dropped to about 140lbs) then after being with him i had picked up on his poor eaitng habits. before i knew i had gone up to 198lbs. I wasn't even 21 yet. i felt terrible.

I had always recieved comments such as 'your fat' 'why do you even try? you always just quit anyway'. He liked that fact that i was losing weight, but never truely helped me or gave me the support i really needed. About 2 years ago while playing World of Warcraft (i know, terrible), i had met this guy who was fun to play with. In the end after months of talking i had let him know what i was trying to do. Since then he has given me support. Sure sometimes i hated him for telling me i should go exercise or eat better, but i knew he cared. Every day he said things, sure sometimes it may hurt but with all his support and able to share my emotional experiences with him, i've lost about 62lbs and i've kept it off.

No i didn't go on some stupid diet (they never work in the long run). I'm the type that needed motivation from atleast another person, and he was it, even though e was miles away from me.

Here i am now, still losing weight, but now putting muscle on, eating clean and exercising almost every day. Not because of some man, i told myself i wanted to have  higher self esteem, be confident in myself and in the end be healthy.  Granted yes i find it hard sometimes when i've got my own family no less always asking if i want to snack on junk food or bad food for me.

But frankly, after seeing how i've changed physically and emotionally, i wouldn't trade it in, specially after putting in the hard work and knowing that i did it basically all on my own - no special trainers, no real training equipment, i thought to myself, i can do almost anything now if i truely set my mind to it.

So with that being said, it doesn't have to be your partners who help support you (though i'm not sure why they would complaing that you want to get fit and healthy), having a single person to help is a huge step. Even if you're not motivated to work out, do it anyways, even if your craving that chocolate fudge sundea, don't buy it or put it down, go drink some water and have fruit.

No joke, fruit for me is my dessert. it's packed full of healthy sugar (compared to refined sugar) and tons of health benefits.

To help keep yourself motivated, keep logs of your measurements, set small goals such as instead of jogging for 5mins straight, lets do 7mins. Keep track of your workouts. Soon before you know, you'll feel better health wise not only from the exercise but most importantly from the food. Sure you'll crave those deep fried grease but once they go away it's basically smooth sailing from there.
I've been tweaking my eating habits for awhile now, and i'm at the point where i have zero desire to eat junk food. Even if you don't exercise, just changing your eating habit is huge.

That's how i first started. I just slowly cut out the greasy food, and when i mean slow i'm talking 6 months slow. Simply because i didn't want to put a ton of stress on my body or end up binging. 

I'm not a dieter, i'm a lifestyle switcher. it takes time, patience, dedication and self control. Soon you'll be thinking in more positive ways, have energy almost all the time - even after long grueling workouts.
I have ditched the people who were negative or a bad influence on me. No temptation if the temptation isn't there.

I'm betting, once your husband starts to results, he'll start encouraging you more. i know my current boyfriend is absolutely loving it. If he's still reluctant or wants to spend more time with you, make him go on brisk walks with you while the weather is still nice. No one says you have to be sweating hardcore to lose body fat.

I'm always willing to give any help or tips when asked or give support if needed, since i know how it feels when there is none compared to when there is.

Don't hesitate to email me if you want - blubearyie@hotmail.com
hope any of what i've said so far has helped. I tend to ramble on sometimes.