supporting my 13-year old daughter (re-post)

hi all.  I'm a woman, 43 years old - at 5'6" & 146lbs I'm on the curvy side of the normal healthy range (no surprise - at age 14 I was 114lbs with C cups!)  my husband is 6' and 155-160 lbs - slim, but still in the normal range.

we eat a healthy whole foods diet with lots of veggies, fruit, whole grain and legumes with a little dairy. we avoid packaged and processed foods, rarely eat at restaurants and we eat meat only occasionally. virtually all our treats are homemade.  our 10-year old son is long-limbed and lithe, like his dad.

here's the issue: our 13-year old daughter is 5'5" and weighs 167.  she was a plump baby, a plump toddler, plump child and plump tween.  now she's hitting her teen years with about 40 more pounds than is healthy for a girl her age.  I'm concerned that she is courting life-long health problems.

I don't want her to feel she is in any way bad, lazy, out-of-control or undesireable because she is big (and so far she doesn't), but I do want her to be fit.  it is a very delicate balance - I'm concerned about her health, not her looks - she's gorgeous!  but I do want her weight to be in the healthy range.  I also want her to understand why, but it is so difficult to talk to a 13-year old about long-term anything.  we didn't think about heart disease or diabetes at 13 - we thought about make-up, boys, music and clothes... and so does she.  it's her job!  ;)

our family already has healthy habits and our lifestyle works for the rest of us - putting our daughter on a reducing diet is difficult when the rest of us don't need to join her.  I've offered to join her exercise regime (I can use it, I've gotten flabby) and reduce my calories a little, just out of solidarity. 

what else can I do to support healthy changes for her?  any ideas?

Well, first of all, Hello! Welcome to Calorie Count!

I'm actually a 13 year old girl myself, and underweight. I am 5'5, and my weight varies from 105-110 lbs.

Your daughter is actually overweight. I see that you avoid packaged and processed foods, and eat pretty healthy. But, do you ever stop to consider what she may be eating when she's not at home? When she goes out with her friends? This may be part of the problem.

It also may have to do with lack of exercise. To be healthy, you should definetly exercise. Go jogging, bike riding, or even just for a nice walk.

The best thing to do would be getting her checked out by a doctor. See what the doctor reccomends, and ask how she can lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle.

Good luck!

Sincerely, Shannen ♥

Hello!!

I think its really is great to see how caring a mommy you are to your children especially by providing a healthy food  for your child and the exercise sounds great to add to your healthy lifestyle even a fun dance class or her joining a sport. They build confidence =]

Now i'm 15 and 5'6 at about 105 lbs I am also underweight but it did not always use to be this way.

When i was 13 i weighed about 171 i was overweight and completely unaware of any problems with my health and for the most part i was happy with myself however my family began to say things to me about my weight and anything i ate began to get looked at and left someone commenting or just making me feel extremely awkward around the food and me eating though they ate what i did but i was sensitive .I never really thought it played a role in much but that year i did get a eating disorder but today i'm  blessed with being in a nice recovery.

soo i understand your great concern for your daughters health but things to remember are

singling her out with food doesn't seem necessary if ur eating healthy, i understand your desire for her to be fit or in the range of what other girls may seem to be but chances are they probably eat and do as much exercise your daughter does they just are built different.

genes can affect a person weight and every weight for teens children and adults alike varies whether that is overweight or underweight. I'm sure if you take her for a check up at the doctors they will express any concern for her (if any) along with recommendations.  It is possible she can be Healthy. also referring to her as big or plump to her may not be a good idea if she is around but i dont know her , she could be more thick skinned then i was about what people say.

but i do love that you seem to have a healthy eating food available and exercise can only add to your healthy lifestyle especially if you allow it to be a activity not a straining workout regime

=]

hopefully i helped!

God bless =]

Hi there I first want to congrats for taking your daughter weight issues extra step as a lunch monitor/voulnteer at my child school and having friends/family who have kids with weight issues and ignore it finds me frusturated ,lol

I shop the same as u allow my chld the odd treat so when he out od the house is is not as attempted to over indulge if the temtations is there ,u'r next step is how much exercises is she doing?what activities does she belong in?

In my basement I bough the DDR dance steps and have both the WII fits mind u I need to use them  myself,lol but my son and his friends use it and the DDR a friends told me her child lost 3 pounds just playng on ours!!!!so u

r daughter healthy eating and exercising is healthy lifestyle not a diet,my son is 11 5[10 85 and has abs!!! was shocked to see this and ya he still can use extra 10 pounds,lol but he know the 2 go together for my snacking was done when he was in bed,

keep me posted on u'r daughter ,