Suspect Co-Worker is purging at work

I went into the women's washroom at work today and the toilet seat was up (unusual in a women only washroom), there was remnants of what looked like vomit and a long dark hair stuck to the rim of the toilet.  To me it looked obvious that someone had thrown up.  Another co-worker had told me before that she had witnessed the same thing, but this is the first time that I had found it.  The woman that told me about it said that she noticed that it was always after another co-worker had been in the washroom...she went in after her purposely just to see if the seat was up and it was on several occasions.  She never confronted the co-worker.

When I walked in and saw what I saw I got upset and couldn't just forget about it.  I emailed the co-worker that we suspect is doing it and asked her if she was feeling ok today.  She emailed back "why" so I told her what I had found.  All she came back with was "no, I'm fine"...and that was the end of the discussion....I don't know where to go from here.

She is a very intelligent woman and what I don't understand is why she leaves the seat up and remnants in the toilet....one time there were remnants with lettuce leafs floating in it.  It is almost like she wants to get called out on it.  I am worried about her health.  She was obese and has been losing alot of weight....I would guess about 100 lbs in the last year.  The funny thing is that she is always talking about the proper way to lose weight and one time she made the comment that she hates throwing up.  I wish I knew what to do.  Any suggestions?

'What to do'... is mind your own business (and I mean that in a nice way).  You've expressed your concern, she's said she's fine and that's as far as you're ever going to get.  It would be the same if you suspected she took drugs, was an alcoholic... these people rarely respond to being challenged.   She could have some kind of medical problem totally unconnected to disordered eating .... who knows?   It could even be everyone's got completely the wrong end of the stick.

You've said your piece.  If she wants some help, I'm sure she'll ask when she's ready.

Thanks for responding Gi-Jane...that was the same advice that my husband gave me, but I wanted to post on cc to get opinions from people who are more knowledgeable about eating disorders.  Thank you again, I respect your knowledge and will do nothing, unless she asks for help.

You can get in a lot of trouble if you try 'saving' people in my experience.  It probably rather makes me a dried up old cynic  but unless someone wants to be rescued, they can react with huge hostility.    When I lived with a seriously underweight anorexia sufferer at uni my (and others') efforts to help were met with accusations of  our being 'jealous', she became even more isolated and, in the end, she died.   I've seen a family member's marriage collapse and health fail because she tried (unsuccessfully) to help an alcoholic sister.  There are others.

You're not responsible for your co-worker.  Keep a friendly eye out for her and ask how she is from time to time.  Otherwise, let sleeping dogs lie.

I will also respect Gi-Jane she always gives it straight.

Question from the top of my head, has this co-worker had a vacation in the past few weeks. I remember an operation you can have when a doctor puts a ring above your stomach so you eat less. If you eat to fast or to much it comes up? (You did say she lost 100 lbs)

With respect

Nieto

with respect.  also...do you think emailing her about it was the best step.  you think she might be having a cry for help because she is not "cleaning it up".  than talk to one of her better friends that you are concerned or maybe you should have just talked to her in person.  i dont know what kind of working environment you are in, at my work, it would be very ok to talk about these things even not amongst best friends.  at my husbands it would be wrong too.  so i am not saying you were wrong but in the future i would not use email,  its so impersonal for these very personal things.

Nieto,

No she hasn't been off lately and I don't think that she has had this surgery, but she may have...I haven't thought of that.  She has worked very hard to lose the weight with exercising and eating healthy, but I know she occasionally has a binge and this is why I suspected the purging, but maybe she did have the surgery...regardless, I am listening to GI-Jane and am butting out.

Bobo1,

We work in a plant and she is in an office a fair distance from mine and we always go back and forth chatting through email.  All I asked her was if she was feeling ok....didn't accuse her of anything....just let her know that I was concerned.  She said she was fine and I let it go.

Maybe it's morning sickness?

I agree with the others - unless you are really close, there's just not a lot you can do.

As someone who used to purge I can tell you that I went through GREAT lengths to clean up any evidence if I did it in a public setting. Bulimics are pretty secretive. It doesn't add up that she'd leave the seat up and not clean up after herself. I say morning sickness as well.

I don't think it is morning sickness for two reasons....her b/f has had a vasectomy plus it has been happening for longer than a 9 month period....so unless she has an unusually long gestation period I don't think that is the case.