I swear I am ready to have a mental breakdown!!

I work as a security officer and have so for almost 6 months. I love my job, I walk at LEAST 30 miles in a 5 day run. I have lost 20lbs in about a month and am doing very good with that...at least I thought I was. I just found out my boss has been talking about my weight behind my back calling my chair "The Fat Chair" and other comments of the same sort. I fell like the rug was just taken out from under me. I am 24 years old he is in his 60's. Neither of us have been in High School for quite some time...so why the name calling? Why pick on someone for something they know is being worked on. I can't stop crying, and that makes me even more mad, so I cry some more! ARGH!!! I just can't handle comments like that about my weight. Pick on me for anything else, just not that. I will be talking to H.R. tomorrow about him, he also has been harrasing other guards too...I should of known that I too was being made fun of...but it still just slams me when this happens. My heart is broken all over again and I'm 10 years old again wanting my mom to go kick his butt.

Kerrie,

Maybe you should sit down and talk to him about it, or if you can't do that, send him an e-mail. Usually, abusers like that stop once they are confronted. Don't let that jerk bring you down, when I was losing the majority of my weight, I had someone do that to me, except worse, would say crap right to my face! I couldn't even eat a celery stick without him saying something to me! I was upset too and had BAD dreams until I confronted him about it. He was surprised and didn't know he was hurting my feelings and it stopped! Good luck!

Stop it.

You're letting the jerk win.

Never let stupid people affect you emotionally. He's an A.H.

That's it, and that's all, he's a stupid AH.

You've lost a lot of weight so far.

RIGHT ON!

Definitely complain about him, but don't do this to yourself over the likes of him because you're better than that.

Realize he must be a miserable person to lash out at people the way he has, and just be glad knowing you're not like him, or in his miserable shoes.

Talk to HR, don't confront him as that can make it worse if he's the bully type.  This is a form of harassment in the workplace and HR needs to know about it.

Some people will always pick on others, it may be just a misunderstanding in your case, but still go through the appropriate channels.

Thanks for all the support. It helps a lot. More than you know. Thank you.

The correct retort is (with apologies to Winston Churchill) ...

'Sir.  I may be fat but you're old and ugly.  Next week I shall be slimmer but you'll be slightly older and just as ugly ..... '

I would definitely talk to HR.  Maybe don't file an official complaint but go and have a 'friendly chat' with them about it.  Maybe they can talk to him and THEN if it continues then go make an official complaint and kick his butt to the kerb.  That's unbelievable that someone talk crap about your weight at work.  How unprofessional (and mean!) is that?!

Original Post by gi-jane:

The correct retort is (with apologies to Winston Churchill) ...

'Sir.  I may be fat but you're old and ugly.  Next week I shall be slimmer but you'll be slightly older and just as ugly ..... '

hahahahahahah! do it! do it!

I agree with raychelc!  DON'T GIVE THIS A-HOLE THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT HE MADE YOU CRY.    There are people like him all over unfortunately and no matter what you weigh or what you look like, people can always find something to rip on if they want too.

People like him act this way to mask their OWN insecurity.  Maybe he's worried about his wrinkly, dysfunctional noodle so ripping on you makes him feel better about himself.  Just KNOW that he IS a sad, sad, pathetic little man.

Your boss's greatest weakness is your determination to lose weight. He wants you to stay overweight in order to feed his fading little ego. Ignore him. Let him talk to the walls. Don't let these people get to you.

You've lost 20 pounds in a month!  I'm so happy for you!  He is a miserable, old man.  I realize that these things hurt.  I've cried over alot less, but remember that you are beautiful and you're doing great on your weight loss journey.  I would talk to HR, that's what they're there for.  Also, Churchill is a genius, and is completely right.  Again, congratulations on your loss and rejoice that you'll never be as mean and bitter of a person as he is. 

I don't understand people like that, but I chalk it up to what other people have posted already: MAJOR insecurity.

People like to elevate themselves by putting other people down and stepping all over their feelings. They target the 'sensitive points' because they know thats what will hurt most. What they hate most is to see people succeed and persevere. Inside he is probably a hurting, bitter old man who maybe never acheived his dreams. You are going for your goals and dreams, and succeeding! You are a stronger person and with a strong will and determination you can get through dark periods like this. Onward and Upward!

Oh, and I'm psychically kicking his ass for you right now  

Keep on keepin' on. Your doing awesome!

Original Post by kerrieparker:

he also has been harrasing other guards too...I should of known that I too was being made fun of...but it still just slams me when this happens.

this part of the story bothers me.  first, it sounds like you have a sick workplace, not just a boss with no tact.  second, i suspect that at least some employees have been complicit with the behaviour, or it wouldn't have continued.  third, it didn't bother you until you were the target?

there's something bigger going on here.  i think a complaint to HR is in order, but i'd be looking for another job (and asking myself how i could have responded differently, and sooner).

I actually had called HR the day before I found this out to report him for the way he had been treating other security officers, but I was unable to get a call back that day.  I have now talked to HR and he is well on his way to being fired. :)

Even if you weren't losing the weight, he has no right to talk about you or anyone else like that. Especially in the work place. You shouldn't have to work in a hostile environment like that. I saw in your last post you talked to HR, thats good. Just remember that depending on the job it may take time to actually fire him. He may be warned first. Just use this as motivation to continue in your weight loss journey. Good luck

What a total and irredeemable prick.

Want me to beat him up for you?

D:<

LOL! Yes.

Original Post by oddfunk:

I agree with raychelc!  DON'T GIVE THIS A-HOLE THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT HE MADE YOU CRY.    There are people like him all over unfortunately and no matter what you weigh or what you look like, people can always find something to rip on if they want too.

People like him act this way to mask their OWN insecurity.  Maybe he's worried about his wrinkly, dysfunctional noodle so ripping on you makes him feel better about himself.  Just KNOW that he IS a sad, sad, pathetic little man.

 His..wrinkly, dysfunctional noodle...

HAHAHAHAAHAHHA!

I have the same problem but with my own Dad, except he says the things right into my face. I wish he'd harass me about anything but not my weight. Needless to say it brings me down the most. I don't have anyone but him; no friends, some acquaintances, not even a boyfriend, just him... I'm proud to hear you're doing this, and I just want to say: try to ignore all the comments because there will always be people like that, no matter what weight you are... people haven't changed much throughout evolution... just know that you're not alone, hopefully it'll make you feel a little better.

Guess what?  Don't allow him to sully your accomplishment.  That's giving him the power.  Who is he exactly?  No one.  He is just like those kids who teased you when you were 10.

Don't allow ANYBODY steal your joy.  I've been working out and changed my dieting habits and haven't lost 20 lbs yet.  That's the real topic of your story and you don't even know it.

Talk to HR and ask questions that will let them know there is a problem.  They are obligated to talk to him even if no formal complaint is filed.

You are awesome but YOU need to believe it. 

I bet you do have friends and don't realize it.  Don't isolate yourself from people.  Look them in their eyes when you speak to them.  I bet when you look around there is someone who considers you their friend.

When I was younger I was flatchested, pigeon toed, and had acne but that's not what I saw when I looked in the mirror!  If people feel you don't want to be around them then they won't want to be around you either.  You get back what you give so project warmth and openness and it will be reciprocated.