How to tackle that dreaded comfy relationship weight gain?

Hi all,

I used to log on here virtually every day, same as I used to train every day and watch what I ate every day!

But ....

the past 6 months, having got into a very happy place in my relationship, my weight is on the up and my motivation way way DOOOOOOOOOWN

No excuses.  I have been slack!

So how the heck do you all manage to be happy with your partners, yet stay motivated to look good? Perhaps I need another source of motivation and be less dependent upon my relationship status to do so?!

My bf is great.  He is neither too soppy (i.e. "I love you whatever size you are, so dont break a sweat to please me") or too harsh (i.e. doesnt tease me or call me  or grab my belly, like one ex did ). 

But he HAS noticed the changes in me.  I guess he wants me to feel good about myself, but how come if I am so happy being with him, I am getting fat again, when I know full well (having been there before) that getting lardy makes me so unhappy?!?!?

Any help gratefully appreciated!

Hi Turnertower,

I know what you mean!  When I started dating my bf I was working out and he was the one with the pot belly.  Then things started to change as he started to workout because he knew how much "being healthy" was important to me.  I on the other hand started to slack off as we started to eat out more which = more calories which = weight gain.  I like to EAT when I'm happy so I don't know if that's the same case for you?

My bf was really sweet and loved my new "curves" but wanted me to feel good about myself instead of complaining about how I didn't have anything to wear because my clothes no longer fit lol. He actually bought me new clothes!

What worked for me was that my bf and I would work out together and his support motivated me to work out solo too.  There's some great workouts on the Men's Health website.  We would also buy/cook healthier meals and encourage each other to order healthier things when we did go out to eat.

Whatever you decide to do, just be confident in how you look until you reach your goal and actually feel it.  I know, easier said than done.  Good luck.

Having spent 12 years with a wonderful man and going from 135 to 200 pounds, helped along by 2 kids, I know how easy it is.  Men eat more than us, so it is sooo hard to hold yourself back, especially when fitness isn't important to them.  What I finally said was "I'm doing this for ME!"  because my husband, love him, thinks I am sexy at 200 lbs, just as I was at 135 (OK, he loves my boobs.  The bigger the better, right?).  I was grossed out by myself, so I finally started making me feel better about myself.

I have gotten lazy and need to get back on track. When I was working out more, I looked and felt better.... probably felt better than I actually looked, but it is how you feel that changes your attitude. My bf is in super good shape... he does encourage healthy eating and working out, but like yours, isn't harsh about it. I think it is more that I feel better about myself than too much about how I look.

Sounds like we need to get motivated...  hence the motivation forum?

What about getting a group of girls together on a thread (perhaps this one) so we can get each other back into our happy places ;)?

Wow, this was a huge problem for me! My husband and I got together 20 years ago, when I was 18. In the next 18 years I went from 103 lbs (too skinny for me - 5'4") to 258 lbs!!! That's about 8 or 9 lbs a year, which didn't seem like much as it was happening, until reality hit me. I'm down to 195 now and have hit a plateau and am struggeling to get it going the right direction again. I work out like crazy, but still battle the food. He loves to dine out, so we go out both Friday and Saturday nights, which makes staying on track really hard over the weekends. All I can suggest to anyone who finds themselves feeling "comfortable" is to not let it get out of control. If you stop it before it gets too bad, then at least you won't find yourself in the position of having to lose over 100 pounds like I did. My husband never complained about my weight, although I sometimes wish he would have. At least I may have gotten motivated sooner. It took becoming completely disgusted with myself to finally make any changes.