It takes 3 Months to Recover from Starvation Mode

(EDIT: Someone else "borrowed" my original title, "My personal experience going from Starvation Mode to Weight Loss". I think it is great that people want to share their personal experiences, but please don't ride my coat tails and steal my title especially on something that was so very personal for me to write. I've been a member of this site for over 3 months, so this wasn't just something I came up with on the spot, this is a part of my healing process. Or at least drop me a message and let me know that I inspired you enough that you wanted to steal my title and use it in the same day.)  END EDIT

First, my apologies for this being so LONG! Please don't feel obligated to read this. I just need to splork and figured my splork might help someone out there.

So, how long does it take your body to readjust from going into Starvation Mode? ...Well, here is my experience.

I started my journey to a healthier lifestyle on March 24th, my first day finding this website while trying to look up calorie information for a banana to put in my paper journal. I am so glad that I found this site, because I probably would not have stuck with the paper journal. I love the analysis tool on this site, it really plays into my obsessive-compulsive behaviour to see the percentages and be able to control them. You have to admit, anyone who has been on this site for a while must have some sort of deep fascination with organization...

Anyhow, I started on March 24th. It took me 3 days to figure out how to make my analysis numbers be what they were supposed to be. Over 1200 calories, with good ratio of calories, 40-50% Carbs, 25-35% protein, 20-30% fat.

You see, before I found this site, my habit was to starve myself for 2-3 days, probably consuming 200-800 calories of junk food (my favorites were cheese puffs, any type of pastry, cookies, candy bars, soda pop), then spend one day consuming hundreds of not thousands of calories of junk food. For 10 years I did this. 10 years! Not a very good thing to do to your body, the only body you have.

That first day, I took my measurements and naked pictures of myself. That was an eye opening experience! Woo! Let me tell you! So I learnt about protein my first 3 days on this site, and got my protein percentage up to 30%, I started by consuming 1600 calories per day. Then a week or two later 1400, then after talking with OBBY, another week later around 1200. I learnt to get under 2500 mg of sodium and over 25 grams of fiber. I found a list of The World's Healthiest Foods: http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php

I was on my way!! I started exercising. Just a little. Do you know what 6 weeks of 4 boiled egg whites every night will do to a person? I crashed! I crashed because I wasn't seeing results. I had only lost 2 lbs in 6 weeks! What was I doing wrong! By May 1st, I couldn't figure it out! I packed the car for a road trip! I ate a few healthy things, such as fresh raspberries, but I also had pizza, loads of chocolate and junk food. It was grand! But it was also stupid. It's a road trip, how are you supposed to eat healthy? That was my excuse. It wasn't a good one.

Near the end of May, I came home and thought really really hard about what I wanted, what kind of results I wanted to see. I had stopped walking. I tracked my calories here and there, but I mostly tried to regain focus. I started to educate myself. I learnt about math! I learned about what fruits and vegetables have high amounts of fiber. I found even more helpful information on protein, including a list of vegetables and their protein content.  For the month of May, all the information was going in and being processed by my brain. The Grading system came online and I logged 6 days at the end of May. I might have done well on the other days, but I just didn't have the motivation to log the information.

Near the first of June, I weighed myself. I was 4 pounds over my starting weight! I just wanted to cry! The naked pictures I had taken of myself and had saved on my computer lacked their motivational quality. It just made me sad, I stopped looking at it. I became deeply depressed. I was just starting to deal with the deeper issues, the real reasons why. Why did I make the choices that I did? Over those 10 years that I gained, I knew I was gaining weight, but it just wasn't important to me. I made excuses: Live life for the moment, find enjoyment! But those were just excuses to get past the much deeper emotional issues. This pretty much left me in a fog for most of the month of June. I started to make some goals that made me feel pretty good:

#1. I have been gaining weight for the past 10 years on a steady increase. This will end. I will stop gaining.

#2. I will have more healthy food days than unhealthy food days each and every month.

#3. I will not focus so much on the weight loss. I will instead focus on making healthy choices. If I make healthy choices, then the weight will come off. I will not obsess over the issue of weight loss and cause myself unnecessary amounts of stress.

#4. I will forgive myself more for making mistakes along the journey. This is a process. This is life changing. It takes time. I will give myself time, instead of spending all my time focusing on giving time to everyone else, because my health is important to me. Other people can manage without me. I must learn to understand and accept this. Things will survive without me being consistently involved. My health should be my first concern, each and every day.

For the month of June, I accepted that I could be happy if I just stopped gaining weight. And I had stopped gaining weight, or at least slowed it down. I must be doing something right. Right? I needed to regain control. I stopped obsessing over the details and started focusing on the big picture. I learned about how important water is.

You see, what lead me to this site, was because I suffered through a terrible 2-week kidney infection. Kidney and Bladder infections had bothered me for years, several times a year. I don't know what in my brain told me that if I ate healthy and actually stopped dehydrating myself I wouldn't suffer this problem, but you know what, it has worked, I have not had a bladder infection, kidney infection or UTI since March 24th! Good things do happen if you stick to it, even if the pounds aren't dropping.

Still, I wanted to lose weight, at the end of June, I wasn't sleeping through the night; I was barely sleeping at all. I was eating healthy, but I was having trouble drinking enough water. I had errands to run, things to do, I didn't have time to drink water. I started to spend a lot of time on the forums, late at night, reading about people with EDs. It really started to affect me. I started to consume 600-1400 calories per day. I logged one day at about 820 calories. No binge days like my previous habit. No junk food or refined sugars. Just healthy food and not much of it. I knew this was wrong. I knew it was bad behaviour. I was so depressed. I sit and wrote down what was truly important to me.

"To be healthy and to maybe lose weight. I will accomplish this by drinking enough water and eating enough calories without eating anything in excess. Furthermore, I will continue to stay away from processed foods, refined sugars and caffeine. I will not worry about getting carried away and trying to exercise, I will do one thing at a time. I first will get control of my eating habits. I will try my best to incorporate exercise, but I will not obsess or stress over it. I will do what I can and accept my limitations."

Today, July 5th. I have consistently logged information into my diet log every day for the past 5 days. I am very proud of myself. Each of those 5 days has been in the 1200-1300 calorie range with a good percentage ratio. My sodium and fiber have been within range and I have been drinking plenty of water. I haven't forced myself into having the same foods over and over again, making myself tired and worn out. I have tried new things and experimented with new recipes. I am trying my best to have fun. Summer is short here on the island and I want to feel healthy. I might be fat, but I can be healthy.

Today someone offered me a sugary treat. I said, "No thank you, I am trying to reduce the amount of refined sugars that I am consuming" I was honest and straightforward. I wasn't rude, and they told me, "Good for you!" Good for me! I hadn't weighed myself in a month. That gain made me depressed. I didn't want to look at the scale and see it go up again. Tonight I stopped at the doctor's office. I was ready to accept whatever the number was. I lost 5 pounds! Could this be it, could I be on my way down? Could I be on the right road?

So what does this have to do with getting your body out of Starvation Mode? Well, someone on this site posted a great article (I'm sorry, I don't have the link and have been unable to find it). It was the story of a girl who started to see a personal trainer. The girl lived like I did, 2-3 days of starving, one day binge. Back and forth. Her body was in Starvation Mode. She was gaining weight in starvation mode and over the years it added up. It took a bit of work and a lot of patience, at first she gained a little weight, but then she started to loss! Sound familiar? So my answer is 3 months. It took 3 months to retrain my body to understand that it doesn't need to be in Starvation mode; it doesn't need to hang on to all these extra pounds. I will feed it and I will feed it the good and healthy things that it needs.

Am I sure the scale is going to go down next time I visit it? No, I am not, but I am going to take the small accomplishments and keep working on the journey. I am going to have more good days than bad days. I am going to fight the good fight. This is a lifestyle change, which is not something that happens over night, but is a long journey. I have embarked upon the journey for a long and healthy life. There is no turning back, only bumps and slight coarse adjustments to keep going forward.  

EDIT: Here is a link to the article I mentioned. It really opened my eyes.
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/core_march_8. htm

EDIT: WELCOME! I put together this thread with just lots of little bits and pieces of useful tips that I learned while I was first starting out here on Calorie-Count.com, all the things mentioned above. (be sure to tag it for future reference!): 
http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/8532 .html


If you read this far, thank you! Please leave coins in the coffer. *wink*

Thank you again, everyone who has commented. I am tagging this post for a day when I am discouraged and down in the dumbs, so I can remind myself how far I have come, how much I have accomplished and that I am not alone!

I would just like to make a statement that is totally off topic. When I was 18, I got married. It wasn't a smart decision and it took me a long time to figure it out. The man I married put me down, used to tell me that my grammer was terrible and that I was stupid. I believed him, because my father was in the US Navy and during my childhood of being shipped from place to place, country to country, I never really did a develop good foundation for using the English language. It eventually came to blows when my now ex-husband beat me and stabbed me with a knife. Something in me snapped and I realized that I was in an unhealthy relationship, I left him and press charges. The justice he receive was weak, because it was a domestic case vs a case of us just being strangers. I mean, if you intentially stabbed a stranger, you would not get off on just a year of parole. Anyhow, in the years following, I challenged myself to develop better speaking, spelling and grammer habits. But like weight loss, it doesn't happen overnight and it takes constant work. Being on this site, hearing the encouraging comments for writing all that I write, has finally done something very wonderful for me. It has lead me to these thoughts:

My ex-husband was an idiot! I am a smart person and I have learned some aspects of good grammer and English. It's not perfect, but it is improving. Being on this website is really good for me, because it allows the constant chance to continue to improve my writing. I've always wanted to write a book on my experience with domestic violence and my ability to make the choice to escape. I never thought I could, because I always thought i couldn't write. It's by using this site, and the encouragement I receive from all of you wonderful people that has slowly changed my opinion. So thank you, really truly thank you. Thank you for sharing this journey toward a healthier life, not just about the journey to a smaller waistline, but also the one in my mind.

Wow, great post! A+, you get a gold star! This should help others, and we all could use a reminder not to go lower than we should, and don't beat yourself up if the scale does not do what you want. The focus should be, above all, on being more healthy and eventually the rest will follow!

bill (really impressed with your post!)

Wow you have been through alot...  I was beat by a boyfriend once...  Rather he TRIED to beat me.  I beat the ever living crap outta him for trying..  (I used to take karate)  I kicked his arse outta my apartment and his COP father then also tried to punch me...  (I am tiny so this did not go over well with the neighbors who saw, and lets just say he is no longer a cop.) 

Good for you for standing up for yourself.  Good for EVERY woman (and Man) that stands up for themselves and will not take a beating!

On your off topic post I would never guess that you consider your English Poor, English is my second language and I agree it takes a lot of work and strangely enough online forums provide a great venu for practice.

If you interested there is a great book by Deborah Harrison and Lucy LaLiberte called No Life Like It It's about Military Wives in Canada.... but not strictly limited to wives. It really gave me a lot of insight in how a military culutre had really enabled me to put up with a violent young marriage as well.

Cheers again!

Wow here again you post another amazing thought provoking message.  I would bet we can all see some of what we have done to ourselves in your message.  My weak period came when I was 21 and I would eat one piece of chicken a day and then exercise for four hours a day.  All while raising my daughter whom I made sure ate very welll.   The end result is I am now overweight and she is healthy.  She is 5 4 and weights 115 (she could gain some and she tries to.  I think I am paying every day for what I did to myself during that year of my life.  I have medical problems now that must be a result of what I did (I used tons of laxatives to get rid of that chicken).  How dumb was I? 

Thank you for sharing and reminding us all that this in fact a journey and we are not alone.  There are time you think that no one else could possibly know what you are going through and you read something like this.  Thank you!

Oh my goodness! You have been through so much! Hugs!!

I also lived through violence in my past. My brother, when we were growing up had anger issues and would be very violent toward my mom and I. It was a very difficult time. I think that may be part of the reason that now I have low self esteem (which is odd because my self esteem was okay at the time and i struggle with it now) and I have struggles with eating healthily. I have always wanted to be able to focus on the nourishment of my body, but I have always fallen off the wagon as it were.

Now I am here and I see all these people eating to feed their bodies, not their emotions and it makes me think that I can do it. And I am doing it. I have to say Iliauxh that you have encouraged me so much here. I am trying to choose not only the foods that are not bad for me, but also more natural foods too. I have always wanted to be one of those people that shops in the produce section and the natural foods section and almost nowhere else. I am doing that now. I am making healthier choices and I am a better and stronger person for it.

You always have all this wonderful information and you have no qualms about sharing it with all of us here. We appreciate you and we will all be here for you as we continue your journey and we continue ours.

If you ever do write a book, I would stand in line to buy it!! :)  You are a very interesting and dynamic woman!  You have done wonderful things with your life and are now trying to help others - good for you.  And way to go on the five pounds - I bet you start to lose like crazy now! 

Excellent, informative and courageous post(s). Thank you.

ix,

this took a lot of courage.  I commend you for that.  I am truly sorry for the pain you experienced both in your personal life, and in your body image and weight struggles.  There are a lot of people who have had things happen to them, and it manifests itself in really weird ways.  I was sexually abused by my stepfather.  I spent a lot of nights fighting to maintain my personal space and not be violated. At the time, the laws were different than they are today, and when I went to the police, to complain about it, I was told I would have a better case if I would allow myself to be raped and let them do the rape kit.  I was 14.  This I believe started a weird and bumpy road of self loathing, anger, and hatred.  I think that some of my weight issues come from this early experience.  I will become something that is undesireable, so that no one will do these things to me again.  I will use anger as a sheild, so no one will hurt me again.  It has taken me YEARS to understand the scars inflicted on a 14 year old girl will still ache, and show up now and again.  BUT I can choose a different life and path.  Congratulations on choosing a different path.  The path to self discovery and acceptance is long.  I wish you much luck and courage.

Wow, how could society ever have been so incredibley stupid!!  That is truly awful Kirstin - I am so sorry that happened to you and even more sorry that when you went for help it wasn't there!  That advice should be criminal!!  You are very strong and brave to decide to chose your own path!!

thanks.  I hope it helps other people find courage in bad situations. 

This is a inspiring story and my heart goes out to you. for i also go through the binge eating and Starvation Mode. if you need any one on one to chat with. feel free to look me up.

Kirstincmc, thank you for sharing. My father is a recovering alcoholic, over 15 years of sobriety, but when he was drinking, which was most of my childhood, he sexually abused me from about age 5 to about age 12. My mother was aware, but completely unable to stand up to him on her own or have the courage to leave him. I spent many of my teenaged years with a counselor. I tried to kill him when I was about 12 by beating him almost to death with a baseball bat. It's not until I was much older, an adult, that I was able to heal from that experience. He doesn't regret because he doesn't remember, that is how much the alcohol affected him. Last year he went to live with my older sister, but he had spent 2 years living with me. It was a good time, a good healing. I was able for the first time in my life have positive thoughts about my father. It was probably the last time I will spend with him before he passes away (He is in his 70's and has had a stoke), so it was very important to me to build some good memories. Healing takes time.  

wow.  that was great to read.  I have read many of your posts and this by far is the best one ever.  doing great...keep it up.

I am so sorry.  I am impressed that you have managed to forgive.  You have done better than I have.  I still HATE him for what he did to me and how it has affected me. 

Wow,!That was a great post! It is so very encouraging to many of us that are afraid to eat more for fear of more wieght gain. Beofre I started my life change I hardly ate half as much as I do now, but I always seemed to b gaining weight or staying the same, now I eat more and losing weight.thanks for your encouraging post.

Thank you to everyone who posted on this thread. I never did imagine I would get this kind of response, so thank you to each and everyone one of you. Posting this was really beneficial to me and my journey toward a healthier lifestyle. Thank you for listening and thank you for sharing.

Wow, ix!!!!  What a great post.  So well written and expressive.  You are totally awesome and courageous as someone else pointed out. 

I started on CC, the day before you, and it has just been an awesome experience to see you blossom here in the forums.  You truly have come a long way.  I am so glad I get to share this journey with such inspiring and motivational people like you. 

You are doing great!!! 

((((HUGS))))

Trish

Thanks for posting this.

I had a similar problem--I tried low-carbing for a while, except I decided that I would be "smart" and cut the calories too low.  I did this for 2 months, lost a ton of weight, but mostly water and muscle. 

I found out that I 2700-3000 calories to maintain my weight, so eating 1500 daily and being hungry was not working.  I often would binge on junk, then eat little for the next few days thinking that I would lose.  I did lose, but more muscle and gained fat.

Today, I went to the market and bought some fresh fruits/veggies/lean meats, etc.  I'm eating now until I'm full, but only on healthy foods.  I don't count calories, though I try to stay around 2500 and stay active. 

I ditched the low-carb thing and decided that if I continue to eat healthy without being in "starvation mode" the weight would come off at a healthy rate.

Congrats to you and good luck!

Thank you so much for the post, ix! I hope others will come here and see how they should really care about eating right, not nothing.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that; you are truly a motivational and inspiring person to have survived that and be as strong as you are now. Thank you for sharing your story; I can't begin to imagine how hard that must have been and is today.