DO you talk about your weight loss?

I have a bit of a problem talking about my weight loss, not so my husband he's telling everyone 'Ros has lost 2 stone 10lbs she's doing really well'. I think he is proud of me and is therefore telling everyone. I on the other hand feel under pressure so when people that haven’t seen me for age do see me they'll be thinking Oh so she's lost nearly three stone has she? it doesn't look like it! Or worse ‘ So she’s lost nearly three stone my goodness how overweight is she for good ness sake?’

It’s true I am doing well and I am proud of my achievement and I do have another 50+ pounds to lose. AND I am going to lose it and be at my ideal weight for my age and height.

But I don’t tell anyone, when someone asks ‘Have you lose weight?’ I say yes a bit. And leave It there. I don’t constantly tell my daughters I’ve lost this much this week and this much so far unless they ask. They are both trying to lose weight as well and I don’t want them to feel that I am in competition with them. Also my sister is trying to lose weight and making no progress and she keeps asking and every time I tell her I’ve lost this much her reaction is ‘How can you manage that?’ Is this just from calorie counting then’ All said in a way that makes me feel that she thinks I shouldn’t be able to lose weight when she can’t.

So what do you guys think I should be doing? Shouting it from the roof top s and enjoying the attention of keeping quiet and letting my new found heralth and figure do the talking?

Am I being over sensitive?

BTW I am not complaining about my husband’s support he’s the best!

You don't have to trumpet facts and figures.  If someone compliments you on your new appearance simply say 'Thank you very much'... and, if they want more information you can be as candid as you see fit.  "I've been eating better and getting more exercise... seems to be paying off"   Some people do want to turn it into a competition but you don't have to join in if you don't want to.  If you're not comfortable with your husband blabbing your weight to everyone, ask him to stop....  

I don't I only tell them number if they ask specifically,and I have asked him many times but he just says I'm really proud of you, but he doesn't seem to get the message. This is even his work colleagues who fortunately i probably won't meet any way but even so, I think I'd rather people that know me notice rather than be pre-warned/notified by him, bless him.

But thanks any way for the good advice, this is the only forum in e#which I feel able to ask this sort of advice.

It's disrespectful on quite a few levels to go shouting people's weight about, even if you are proud of their achievement. Some things are private.  If you take the indulgent 'bless him' approach, it really won't improve..... Be assertive and if you meet one of his colleagues and they can give you your statistics, then play merry hell.

I also don't really want to discuss my weight statistics with everyone I meet in real life.  I have found that general responses, as GI-Jane suggested work pretty well.  If someone asks for a number, I usually say something like "I am about a third of the way to goal".  If they ask what "goal" is I usually say something like "a healthy weight for my height".  You might want to suggest these responses to your husband when he  is "bragging" on your success.

If they are overweight, and ask "how I am doing it" I usually tell them about the great resources on calorie count.  If they aren't overweight, I figure a generic "move more, eat less" suffices.  I find that the more general my responses are, the less unsolicited advice I get.

The only people I have given numbers to are my family and close friends (and people who look at my profile). But if someone asks me how much weight I've lost, I generally just say "a lot". I don't mind people on this site knowing because I feel like we're a community of people with the same goal in mind, but I feel like if I told people face-to-face they would think things like, "WOW! She was HUGE!" It's really none of their business, and I don't think there's any reason for them to know. I mean, what's the point of them knowing? What do they plan on doing with that information?

I do update my parents monthly on my weight though. I'm in another country and they haven't seen me in a long time. It is something I'm proud of, and I know my Dad will be very surprised when he visits next month :)

Numbers are something I only tell my very close friends (makes 2-3 plus my sister). And of course the community here - as wagu said: we are all in the same boat and have similar feelings!

My colleagues and other friends only know that I am working out at the gym every day and that I am trying to lose weight. My best colleague - she is a real darling but SKINNYYYY - only knows how much I lost - but no more specifics.

Ros - I think you are doing exactly the right thing with your kids and your sis. But I also believe that your husband needs to be a little more private with your personal information! :o) If I were you I would give him a hug but tell him at the same time that you are really embarrassed when he talks about your weight. Even if he means well!

Well done all of you! You are all so inspiring for a new one like me!

Well personally, I hate talking about my weight loss - but people always bring it up.  I would just tell your husband that you feel uncomfortable talking about it, and ask him not to bring it up.  After all it is YOUR weight loss, therefore you should bring it up if you want to, and only you.  I think weight is a delicate issue for some people (like me), so I never mention it.  If people do mention it and ask how, I just say "eating healthy".  And they always think "eating healthy" is eating tons of salads. Ugghh.

Thank you all for your input, I do hate drawing attention ot myself, that said it nice when people notice, like the other day I popped into the hairdressers to book another appointment and one of the girls isaid 'Gosh have you lost weight?' I replied ' just a bit' and her response was 'you're looking good!'. SO that's welcome but not one of my husbands colleagues calling for him and saying'Let's talk about you you're doing really well you've lost 2 stone!' There's a fine line, I mean I did talk to my husband again today (after reading these responses) and he said I only came up as a topic of cenversation because the girls from the office were all talking about their need to lose weight before Christmas party season and he said Oh Ros is dong well etc etc So maybe I was being over sensitive, anyways he is clear now that I will tell people if and when I choose!

On the other end of the spectrum, I tell everyone!  I don't give out my exact weight (except here and to close friends who have asked) but I update my facebook when I hit milestones (coming up on 40 pounds lost) and tell my family, friends and coworkers.  I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I'm tired of being ashamed of my weight.  It is what it is, it's me and it's the truth.  Chatting about it with folks keeps me motivated.  And I can't tell you how many people have called me "inspiring" over the last few months. 

I agree, though, that it's a personal decision and should only be what you're comfortable with.

I'm a terrible liar. If someone says I've lost weight I say, "have I?" and if they ask how I say, all vaguely, "dunno... med school is stressful."

I don't know why. I should be more proud of myself, I did it very healthily...

I have to go along with you, Carrie.  I tell my family how I'm progressing, along with the folks I used to work with, particularly my former manager (I was laid off in April).  I'm proud of it!  But, like you said, too, it's a personal decision.  Some people are just more private than others, and that's fine.

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum too - I have a hard time NOT bringing it up with everyone.  I mean, sheesh, I've only lost about 11 lbs, but I can't help wanting to brag about it!!  So far, though, I only tell people if they ask.  It is definitely fun and rewarding when people notice and comment. 

As a general rule, I don't mention my weight loss until someone notices it, and I don't tell them how much I've lost unless they ask, and honestly, I prefer that they don't ask (and fortunately I haven't come across anyone who was rude enough to ask my weight).  I don't mind mind when my mother and sister ask how much I've lost, and I don't get to see them all that often, but I have one friend who seemed to be asking me every week for awhile there.  She also has a tendency to bring it up to other people.  I get that she's proud of me, but my weight is but a small part of who I am, and I don't like to call attention to it, especially since I'm still overweight.

I find that it's nice when people notice and compliment me on my weight loss, but I prefer that it not become the topic of a long conversation.  But, I very recently got to see a bunch of close friends who I don't get to see very often, and I discovered that I really don't mind if they don't notice (or just don't mention) my weight loss.  To me, it means that they were focusing on me, not my size, in the first place.  I have one friend who I know will never mention it, and I love him for that, though we did have a rather bizarre conversation about my shrinking breasts.

I'm a very private person, and I absolutely abhor it when anyone mentions my weight loss (hasn't happened this round because I haven't lost enough yet, but in times past...). It makes me feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and disgusting... There's no rational explanation for it, but *shrug* that's why I've always thought my ideal weightloss experience would involve me becoming a hermit for a few years. 

In fact, in the past, my diet has always failed the moment people start saying things to me about it. I'm going to IGNORE EVERYTHING ANYONE SAYS TO ME this time around, and pretend no one's even looked in my general direction.

As far as telling people, I told my closest friends (all two of them, counting my dog the amazing weightloss mascot!), and my parents (because I had to... otherwise they would not have been involved), and have asked them not to mention anything to me about it. Occasionally I will mention a tasty low calorie food in hopes that my mom will try it. 

Thanks for asking this question, it makes me feel a little bit better knowing others feel uncomfortable talking about it.

^

I'm not much to talk about emotions, and I'm also not into talking about my weight loss.  It makes me uncomfortable and I'm sure it would make most others uncomfortable too.

And the 12 pounds I've lost is certainly enough for me to notice, but not enough for anyone except my mom to comment on.  Several months ago, my mom asked me how much I lost, and I told her 5 pounds.  Next thing I know, my grandma is telling her husband about my weight loss too.      It's my business!  Don't go talking about it to others :/

HI!

I was looking around and found your question I think if people are asking you if u lost weight u should say YES! And be HAPPY b/c it means that u r losing weight which it VERY HARD to do and I bet u r working VERY HARD ON IT!!!! u don't have to tell them how much u lost unless they are someone close to u like your sister and daughter.I think it will be good to tell them just b/c u might be able to help them, u can tell them what your eating and how r u working out.And maybe u can be there motivation...

And as for ur husband telling everyone...thats cute I bet he loves u and wants the best for u! and I guess u can take it as another way of movitaon NOW U HAVE TO KEEP LOSING WEIGHT  so people say OH WOW LOOK AT HER SHE"S LOSING WEIGHT.

hope to keep reading your blog!

~yari~ can I add u as a friend I'm new here!

I told no-one that I had decided to lose weight, so waited until someone noticed before I admitted to eating better and looking after myself more.

So far I have lost over 4 stone (from my heaviest, with a long way to go!) but the reaction Ive had at work has been quite bizarre! I work for a train operating company & Ive had staff wait for my train to come in to a station to get a look at me-I felt like some sort of exhibit! I am very sensitive about my looks in general so its uncomfortable for me at times. Ive also had my friends questioned on what Im doing to lose the weight and my reasons for doing it (yes, I work with very nosey people!!).

Ive had lots of positive comments and it is a great boost, but some people could do with learning a bit of tact also!

I tried to keep it a secret at first.  Since I wasn't overweight to begin with, I felt like if I told people I was dieting they would get concerned and start criticizing the way I eat. But then my friends and boyfriend started noticing my weight loss and were more supportive than I thought they would be, so now I only talk about it openly with them.  If co-workers or people I don't see often say it looks like I've lost weight, I just say something like, "Oh, really?" and brush it off like it's no big deal.

Most people want to lose weight and can't because they try fad diets and because of that most of them don't want to hear about your success unless they are friends.  Well that is what I have experienced anyway.

Everyone was really supportive with me when I first started but 5 months on and with the weight down and staying down I have noticed that it annoys them because I have done what they couldn't do.

So personally, I don't talk about my weightloss anymore other than to my close friends.  The people who notice I have lost weight tend to imply I must have done something other than just changing my eating habits, because they want to think I had a magic cure.  It really annoys me when I tell them and they keep saying, "but what else did you use".

I understand and I feel the same as you. I lost weight before (now working on baby weight) and when poeple said, "you look great!" all I heard was "you looked terrible before." And I never felt that way, I feel I've always been attractive, now I'm just smaller and healthier than before.

Some people are internally motivated and some are externally motivated. For me it's a private journey, I'm very proud of myself and I'm self-motivated. When people ask, I'm intentionally vague, because it's really none anyone's business but my own.

If you really want your husband to stop telling people, you will have to ask him to do so. You have to ask for what you want. There is no "should" do about telling people, that's a personal choice to do with your own motivation.