Teen daughter eats only 800 calories loses only 3lbs per month

My daughter, 14, has lost 30 pounds since February. She is 5'2'' and currently weighs 153 lbs.  She has completely cut out desserts, fast food and anything containing more than 5 grams of fat.

The problem: She has a very Strict diet.  She will only eat the following:  Chicken Noodle Soup: Wheat Bread: Low Fat String Cheese: Saltine Crackers, Fiber bar or TLC blackberry bars and Green Tea

She walks two miles every day.  She doesn't eat unless she's hungry.

With such a strict diet, she should certainly be losing at least 2 lbs per week and she's not.   

Today her caloric intake was about 800 calories. Her fat intake was 18 grams.

I know her calories are WAAAY low but she won't listen to me. Please give us some good, solid advice on how to fix her diet and allow her to lose the weight she desires (another 15 lbs.)

If she has been eating this way for 6 months, her metabolism must have greatly slowed down. This is why she's not losing weight any more. She needs to know that not eating enough for that long of a time will let her body get USED to that amount of calories and her metabolism will adjust (slow down!) thusly.

Use this site's burn meter to determine her maintenance calorie level and subtract 500 calories from that to determine how many calories she should be eating. This way she will lose 1 lb. per week once her metabolism gets going again and she wont be starving herself.

If she wont up her daily calories to the needed level, she should at least allow herself 1-2 days a week where she gives herself a cheat meal or two (and at least one day a week she should go over her maintenance calorie level). This will surprise her metabolism and actually allow it to speed back up somewhat. She might gain a pound or two at first, but her body will adjust and it will come off quickly.

And make sure she eats breakfast so her metabolism gets going first thing in the morning. Good luck!

She continues to lose weight but it's about 3 lbs per month. What can we do to get her metabolism moving?  Most importantly, she needs a better diet but won't eat seafood and doesn't like vegetables.

Well first off, what is her maintenance calorie level? Use this:

http://www.nriol.net/calorie-calculator

And if she eats that few of calories every day, the math says she should lose weight. But obviously her metabolism is suffering. She needs to up her caloric intake to get her body going again!

Some healthy foods with higher caloric levels that shouldn't make her feel gross are things like peanut butter, almonds, olive oil, etc.

Also, if she doesn't like vegetables make sure she eats plenty of fruit! Bananas, apples, blueberries, strawberries, and things like that.

She is not getting any "real" or "natural" foods. It seems like all pre-packaged stuff with not much nutritional value. It is better to eat MORE healthy food than LESS food that doesn't have many benefits.

Make sure to keep her eating more healthy stuff! The less packaging the better! Oatmeal, chicken breasts, eggs, nuts, yogurt, etc.

And a really good snack that she can feel good about is a protein shake with two scoops of whey protein, her favorite fruits, some skim milk, and a few ice cubes. A healthy and filling snack !

I don't know anything about the relationship you have with your daughter, but I know that when I was 14, though I desperately wanted to lose weight, I would certainly have resented my mother telling me what to eat, especially if her intention was to help me lose weight.  For a teenage girl, it's one thing to know you need to lose weight.  It's another thing for your mother to agree with that assessment, and even worse to have her tell you what to eat.

From the sound of your post, your daughter probably figures that what she's been doing has been working, so why rock the boat?  For her, losing weight is more important than a healthy diet.  She doesn't understand that for permanent weight loss, a healthy diet is vital.  She needs to learn about how her body functions and what nutrients it needs to function properly and efficiently.  She needs to meet people who have gone on restrictive diets only to get sick of them and gain even more weight back.

You can't make your daughter eat anything.  You can't coerce her into anything.  In my opinion, the best thing you can do for her is make sure she has all the information she needs to make an informed decision about her own health.

take her to a doctor and have him/her refer your daughter to a nutritionist, or just read the articles on this website.

i don't mean this in a mean way at all, but it's pretty clear you don't have a good grasp on diet and health and need professional help.  The way your daughter is eating is really DANGEROUS.. she is growing and needs A LOT more than 800 calories, probably double and even more if you put her in some sort of exercise or sports program. the average adult female burns 1200 calories a day just by living without moving around [breathing, thinking, digesting]

but it seems like you really want your daughter to lose the weight and be happy, i always wished my mother made me exercise more and make healthier food for me, but she didn't know better and only knew how to make delicious fatty foods. So good luck to you and your daughter on this journey to a healthy life.

A word of caution ...

posts on here say that growing teens need at least 1500 .... you need to keep a watchful eye on her ... her restrictive diet has the hall marks of the beginnings of an eater disorder. i say this not to worry you, she may just be going through a phase .... but you never know. i'm not a doctor so i don't have any solid advice about nurition - so maybe the best thing is to get to a nutritionist and get some solid facts??

if you give her the info from a professional source, may mean she takes it better.

good luck

I can't understand how your daughter is starving herself and your biggest worry is that she is no longer losing weight.

You (and her) both need to reassess your priorities. There is no point losing weight and losing sight of her health in the process. Shouldn't health have everything to do with wanting to lose weight?

She is on the path to an eating disorder and you need to get real about this and take some positive action against this going any further.

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 Hope you won't listen to this post. Everything she said is false (except the fact that 3500 cal = 1 lb)

You burn calories just by LIVING (breathing, sleeping, sitting...). If we must burn 3500 cals through excercise alone, I can't imagine the number of overweight people.

Yikes - dangerous nonsense from nothingelsematters.

The girl needs something like 1400-1500 kcal/day just to live (and that doesn't even include the kcal consumed in eating and digesting), so she needs a basic amount of 1400-1500 x 7 = 10,000+.

BMR (for her 1400-1500?)

+ eating, digesting, eliminating, sitting

= RMR (for her 1700-1800? i.e. BMR+300)

+ activity - here walking 2 miles per day (speed? 2mph?)

= daily burn (for her RMR + about 120 = 1870ish)

= weekly burn about 13,000!

weekly intake estimated at less than 6000!

No wonder she's not losing at the simplistic 3500kcal/lb rate. She'll be in starvation mode. If the 800/day estimate is correct, she surely needs to see a doctor a.s.a.p.

Agreed. I also dont intend any dis-respect but your daughter is in trouble. To be so restrictive (dangerously!) at 14 is, like someone else said, indicative of a eating disorder. I would almost guarantee that she already had one. This is so scary to hear.

I understand 14 year olds being against being told what to do by -gasp-their MOTHER, but you are her mother. It is your responsibility to make sure she is healthy and this is NOT healthy. Period.

I also suggest getting some professional help, as it sounds like you are out of ideas.

I can't stress how dangerous this sounds. It's shocking to me. I am writing this in disbelief as I shake my head.

And nothingelsematters, I suggest professional help for you as well. 500 calories is not enough to even sustain your bodies life functions, like lungs and brain and heart beat. It may work for a while, but your organs are becoming weaker and weaker. It will catch up one day and your body WILL shut down. I would also guess that you sleep quite a bit, are a bit grumpy, and have seen your hair and eyes and skin lose their radiance. Your body has no nutrients to give them.

These posts are so terrifying. Very sad.

Best of luck to both of you.

Here's my question: What did your daughter eat before she started this restrictive diet?  Did you have family dinners consisting of healthy nutritious food or was it more fast food and convenience food?  My apologies if I'm assuming incorrectly, but based on what you said in your post, I'm guessing it was the latter.

I just seems like your daughter has no idea what a healthy diet consists of.  You said she cut out fast food and desserts to lose weight, so essentially, she went from eating a bunch of fattening convenience foods to eating smaller amounts of somewhat healthier convenience foods.

You said she won't eat vegetables or seafood. OK.  Will she eat grilled chicken?  A sweet potato? Egg whites?  There are a lot of healthy options out there.  And has she tried every vegetable out there so that she knows that she really doesn't like them?  Is she so stubborn that she won't even try any? (And I do realize that the answer could very well be yes.  My 17 year old nephew won't touch vegetables on principle.  It's not good, but thankfully he eats a lot of fruit.)

If her slowed weight loss is the only thing that's alerted you to a problem here, be grateful that it's happened.  Take steps now to help your daughter improve her health.  Don't focus on the 15 pounds she still needs to lose right now.  Focus on  providing a good example and educating her about a healthy lifestyle.  If she's so focused on losing weight, finding out that she can eat twice as much and lose twice as fast will be welcome news.  Just please don't let this go until she loses more weight like this and then decided it's not enough and continues until she's underweight.  Remember, just because someone is at a healthy weight doesn't mean they're healthy.

I think I may be going crazy I cant be reading this correctly...your daughter eats 800 calories a day? and nothingelsematters you eat 500 calories a day? that is not restrictive that is self destructive. Once you start eating normally again as any sane person would make you you will gain weight again quickly because your body has been wanting it so badly. I am 21 years old and my daughter is 3 i promise if she ever comes to me talking about some I am only eating 800 calories a day, at any age, especially 14. I WOULD MAKE HER LISTEN TO ME, she is not old enough to tell you what she is going to do, sorry thats just my opinion. My sister is 14 very active and very thin (as I was previous to kids and marriage) and I will personally check her in to a clinic if she ever says some crazy nonsense to me like that. I really do not mean any offense but I dont understand in what logical way is allowing your daughter to do this supportive?

Respectfully...me

personally, i don't think we're getting the full picture.

you said she ate 800cals TODAY, but is this how it is everyday?

and is there any chance shes sneaking bad food behind your back? i mean, really. having her mother seemingly so involved in a diet, for a teenager it is kind of weird. no offense at all to you. but like, if she does wreck her diet i'm guessing it wouldn't be in front of someone that knows all about what shes doing. which is another kind of pattern of disordered eating altogether. but that would account for the small amount of weight recently lost.

obviously i'm not a nutritionist, but i don't see how someone could wreck their metabolism in only six months when they are only doing minimal amounts of exercise and eating, and especially when she's so young. this may not be the case at all, but i'm just really skeptical.

what ever the problem though, i just suggest you don't respond to this situation in an obnoxious way or anything like that. like the parents that take kids to a jail to see what its like behind bars so they don't misbehave, omg, such a deterrent! (sarcasm). trying to nag at a teen until they change their pattern of behavior is prolly not going to work either. i agree with taking her to a nutritionist. or even just her physician for a "regular checkup" but call ahead of time and say you want to focus on nutrition.

and my idea, if you want a sneaky way to make her eat more or get a variety, buy less of the foods she normally eats get her gift cards to somewhat healthy resturants. like subway, panera bread, etc.

To clear up a few things..

We do not eat as healthy as we should.  However, my daughter will eat chicken, turkey and small amounts of beef. She has begun eating grapefruit, apples and raspberries. 

My concern is not her weightloss as it may have sounded. My concern is her health and trying to get her to understand that she needs to broaden her food selections. She doesn't want to hear it from me. I've been telling her that she needs more protein, but when I suggest a food, she won't eat it.  After I asked the question in this forum, she ate an egg and half a grapefruit, first time in years.  That's a beginning.

She used to eat a lot of sugar-filled treats and has completely cut that out. She has a strong will for dieting, which I applaud, but she has taken it too far and she won't listen to me.

Thanks for all your suggestions, it is helping already! 

Your daughter isn't losing any weight because her body is entering starvation mode. Her body isn't getting the nutrition she needs, so her body is slowing it's metabolism, and retaining it's fat because it doesn't know when it's next meal will be. Basically her body thinks it's starving so it's doing whatever it can to survive. As teenaged girls need 1500 calories per day if they're sedentary, this isn't very surprising.

Your daughter is also exhibiting eating disordered behaviors. It sounds like she's developing anorexia. Anorexics pretty much eat only the bare minimum they need to survive. They're also extremely specific about what they eat.

You should take her to a nutritionist to develop a healthy eating plan, and if after 6 months or so she's still eating this way, you should take her to a therapist.

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You are killing yourself slowly.

UD

Nothingelsematterss -  with all due respect, posts like yours are not helpful - calorie count is not designed to promote eating habits which are going to, in the long run, kill you.

please seek professional help- and see a nutritionist who will help you with a healthy diet.

Original Post by misskady:

To clear up a few things..

My concern is not her weightloss as it may have sounded. My concern is her health and trying to get her to understand that she needs to broaden her food selections. She doesn't want to hear it from me. I've been telling her that she needs more protein, but when I suggest a food, she won't eat it.  After I asked the question in this forum, she ate an egg and half a grapefruit, first time in years.  That's a beginning.

Your main concern should be upping her calories to at least somewhat of a healthy level. Teens ESPECIALLY need more calories because their bodies are still growing and changing!

The diet you describe provides no nutrients, so what she's losing is muscle.  The heart is a muscle.  She needs good nutrition and a sensible diet.  Many of us here have lost large amounts of weight and we didn't do it by starving.

If she ate a balanced, healthy diet, then I'd say that 3 pounds a month is a pretty good weight loss, just a little less than a pound a week.

Here's a link to an article that will explain what happens when you undereat.  Read the entire article and don't skip the final couple of paragraphs

Obesity on 700 calories a day