a teenage rant: why do i feel this way?

i don't even know where to begin. lately, (well, i shouldn't say lately, it's been what? a few years now probably, but i'm emphasizing lately) i've been feeling really rundown. i don't feel motivated to do anything, let alone go to the gym. i just want to lie in bed all day long. i don't have any goals in life whatsoever and i feel so...jaded and apathetic, like i don't care what happens tomorrow. i know, i know, this may be another teenage phase, but i've been telling myself that it's normal for quite a while. sometimes i'm happy, sometimes i'm sad, but generally i'm a pessimist. people have told me that maybe it's vitamin deficiencies that's causing me to feel this way. but honestly, i think it's something more, but i don't want to admit it. maybe it's the fact that i haven't taken a good break in 3 years with summer school and outside-of-school exams. i just don't know what to do. i used to be really depressed, but i've matured (i hope) and grown out of it. *sighs* i feel kinda helpless. i know some people would just say, "suck it up, life's a bitch" and i know and appreciate the fact that my life is pretty good compared to some people, so sorry for making you listen to my teenage rant. i don't really know what i'm looking for here. maybe consolation in the fact that this is normal and people feel the same way as i do, or an explanation as to why i'm feeling this way. anyways, thanks for listening.

good god. I know how you feel. The first two weeks of summer, I would lay in bed watching tv until late (sometimes stuffing my face) Then sleep till noon, wake up to eat and go back to sleep for 2 or 3 hours.

I had no plans and I have no job. So then my mom says "you need to get a job" and I was like thinking yeah shes right I need to do something besides lay around. So we go down town and Im sitting in the parking lot about to go in and get an application at starbucks. and I start to ball my eyes your saying "I cant do it...I dont want a job I dont like people, Im to shy."

and no I still have no job. I have no plans for this summer and nothing to look forward too, and its going by so fast it makes me even more sad! :(

Also I have been too lazy to excersize (besides this fitness boot camp Im going to 3 nights a week) so instead I just cut back my calories so I dont have to, I feel exhausted and I have no energy.

I know how you guys feel..that happened to me for one year..and then when July approached, I told myself that I was sick and tired of being so lazy and unmotivated. It took me a while to get into it, but I did it slowly. I started by talking to a few of my friends, and they gave me some moral support. Then I listened to some up-beat music..stuff that would make me want to just go and do something.

I know that this method may not work for you all..but maybe you guys need someone to talk to..a therapist perhaps? I'm not saying you guys are crackheads, because you are definitely NOT! You guys just need some motivation, and the only way to find your motivation is to try to push yourself a little bit, day by day.

Sorry..if I wasn't any help!

thanks karliann and icedfaerie, i did want to look for a summer job, but yeah, i still don't have one. no one's pushing me to look for one or anything. it's just...i don't know...a lot of mixed feelings.

I know exactly how you feel because I have gone through it myself (I am only 18). As you have probably realized, it sucks. And it sucks bad. I too have felt so unmotivated that I won't even get out of bed. I lie there and think of stuff that I could be doing but still don't. The sad thing though, it is not some teenager rant. While it has something to do with hormone inbalance, it could also manifest into full-blown depression. I don't want to admit it to myself sometimes and just brush it off as a phase that I am going through and that I will outgrow it. Sometimes I tell myself that everyone goes through it, yet, why haven't I truly enjoyed myself in so long? I am on break from college right now and sometimes I wonder whether going to such a prestigious university is just putting more pressure on me. I kinda feel sometimes that if I allow myself to wallow in self-pity or whatever is bogging me down that I will never achieve anything, and it's true. Sadly, I haven't outgrown this. I have just learned to deal with it. Maybe it is not something that I should have to "deal" with but nonetheless I feel capable in doing so. Life is a bitch, but you shouldn't have to suck it up in order to get through it. I am also trying to find a summer job to get me through the nothingness that is summer break at home but still no such luck. Finding things to motivate you are hard  to find but I guess that once you find your niche you will no longer feel this way. It is all about your perspective on life because you either get busy living or you get busy dying. I would much rather get busy living...I just need some motivation :)

i've always thought i had mild depression, or convinced myself that i am 'just a pessimist' for fear of being a burden to my family - the shame that comes along with being a drama queen. i don't want people to look at me as the "attention seeker who has to take prozac because she can't suck it up." what's even more sick is that i'm slightly proud of it, it being something that makes me feel special and unique, something like my comfort zone, if you will. just now i had one of my moodswings again. they come and go (10 minutes), and all it takes is a song to start me off. i've never told anyone about this because i don't want them to judge me, or look down upon me in any way. i sincerely hope someone can give me some advice.

Yep, been there, doing that. I sypathize very much. Depression was something I've dealt with for years (I'm 20 right now, it probably started around 12ish) before I finally admited I needed help, and I HATE asking for help (I'm way too proud sometimes(and I do understand about you mean about even being proud of it), but it just got to that point, I wasn't growing out of it, so I gave in, and it's the best thing for me. See a therapist, and see your doctor about antidepressents, it really can help. It did for me. And you don't even have to tell your friends, heck, I'm telling you stuff that only my closest friends know about me. But, you'd probably be surprised how understanding people really are about this issue. And surround yourself with your family and the people that love you, because they will help you get through it. How would you react if someone you love told you they were going through what you are telling us what you are going through? I'm really impressed that you are as aware of yourself as well as you are, that can really help you a lot when you decide you are ready to get help. *Hug*