How to tell that the relationship is REALLY over

(when do you walk away)

OH--from a relationship --not a marriage and --no kids involved

I don't think thats a question anyone here can answer for you. However, If theres violence or any type of abuse is involved need to get out yesterday.

Otherwise, just be honest with yourself.  When you think about the future is he there? Can you remember why you fell in love with him? If you look into his eyes can you still see the passion?

 

Good luck!!

 

when the restraining order gets issued :(

For me......

1. when I don't care anymore
2. when I don't want to spend time with them
3. when I don't trust them
4. when my gut feeling is telling me there's nothing left
5. when I start noticing silly little faults with them that I had never noticed before.

The list could go on but at the end of the day you just know it's over.

• When you feel more like yourself when he's not around. 
• When you are happier and more relaxed without him.
• When you look into the future and either don't see him there or wish that you didn't.

It's different for everyone but if you've tried to make it work and it hasn't or no longer care to try then you just know.

Whenever there is more bad (feelings, fights, etc) than good (time you enjoy together, think/talk about the future in a positive way) in the relationship.

When you have to ask on cc when you should walk away. I'm guessing you are not happy, or you wouldn't be guessing if you should stay of not. Life is to short, don't waste any time being unhappy about your current relationship.

Sorry if you don't like my response, but at my age happiness comes firsts, and it took me to many years to realize it. Do what you know is best for yourself.

This is a sore subject for me - personally good luck in handling it...I personally havent done well at it.

If for more than a couple of weeks in a row, thoughts of them aren't pleasant &/or you don't look forward to seeing them or speaking with them. (Nobody gets along ALL the time but it shouldn't last that long if it's a 'good' relationship.)

Here is something i heard my  Dad say once

"Do you see yourself in love with this guy when you are 25? 45? 75? Do you see yourself changing this guys diaper, dressing him and feeding him baby food if he has a stroke, or car accident. Do you think he'd gladly do it for you? If there is any doubt in your mind at all, then this isn't the guy for you."

When he said that to my oldest sister, she started crying because she knew the guy she was thinking of marrying wouldn't do that for her. Sad, but it helped her to make a tough decision.

Zena - the best piece of advice I have heard in a long time...

Think about how you are feeling right now, is this how you want to feel in 10 years?  Then make your decision based on what you feel right now...

You can't expect things to change, only you can change them...

Good luck my love, this is a hard thing to do, trust me I am in the same boat, the fact of this just makes me want to cry myself...

Hi, zen!

I've been thinking about you.  I tried to get an update from you on an update thread, but I guess you weren't around at the time.  I went and read your journal that day and things didn't look good.  I kind of thought this might be coming.

It seems like you have put a lot into making this work.  From what you've posted here, you have let it be known that you have needs that are not being met.  It seems like your partner just isn't responding to that, doesn't care, or doesn't think these things are as serious as you do.

Did you try at all to seek counseling?  Maybe you just don't feel like a relationship should have to be that hard (hard enough to require outside help).  Honestly, with no kids involved, I'd probably feel that way.

Hugs to you.  I hope you are able to move on without a guilty conscience.  I remember you've said that your partner is financially dependant on you and that's got to be hard in itself... apart from the other issues.

When it makes you sick to your stomach at the though of staying, when the other party stops try or you both stop trying to make it work. When all you want to do is run like hell 24/7...

If you're questioning it... get out!

Wait wait wait wait....lets not do anything hasty....

You can always keep using him for the seks until you find someone better :D

Wow some of you guys are ruthless,

You shouldn't cut and run the second you have second thoughts about a person.  If you do it seems like you'll never bet married or even with the same person for a long period of time. Sometimes you just hit a snag in the relationship and you get through it.

Umm, did something hit a nerve with you, jtankley? ; )

When he starts dating your best friend.

Just listen to your heart like the song says, love. Don't use your brain to say 'well it'd be a bad decision for my friends' or 'well when we first started dating he was a sweetheart.' this is the one time your heart knows way more then your brain. If your heart is sinking so is the realtionship.

If you have to ask... it's over.

wow, Z --  we have so much in common.     this makes me sad too.    I know it's done for me.   I just don't know how to set the ball in motion.   I don;t know....