TERRIFIED of gaining............... i NEED support

something bad happened to me. I'm at my tip top growing years and i'm at 90lb now....... i'm SO SCARED of this weight, but even SCAREDER to gain.
i dont think i can go on.... i'm soo dead searious... i've retreated to an online chat room and feel so DESPERATE.
i would pleasee like some words+ comments+help. b/c..

*** i would like to know what i'll experience so i can know if i'm on track or not. allll the goods+ bads..

why i'm scared of gaining:
1. I'll gain too fast
2. I'll eat only junk food and get into the habbit
3. I'll be chunky for my age again (used to be)
4. my FITNESS: i do 3-6 miles about 2-4 times a week, and i'm AFRAID the extyra pounds would slow me down
5. FLABBY SKIN.... yeha, i have just stretchy skin all around me, but would gaining weight make it go away or just give me mroe skin?
6. what people would knotice: the people around me (fam+friend) are very observant and judgemental.. they actually think i'm healthy?? (some)


i would like to know:
1. how to gain w/out losing control of what i eat
2. how to do exercise...
       &nb sp;     should i keep running?
       &nb sp;     stop running
       &nb sp;     just lift weights?
       &nb sp;     would my fitness decrease?
3. how to not get flabby


i would MOSTLY like to know what i SHOULD be going through in a HEALTHY weight gain.....
would my stomach really... start looking pregnant?
would i look jiggly?



please i'm TERRIFIED.

I know i'm asking for alot(but theres so much more)
and i know... this is sort of annoying?

 

but please i feel DESPERATE... i need help :(.

 

i need alot of support.... the people in the real world just don't seem to understand. i feel so ALONE.............
i never told anybody the truth about how i really feel about my health
i dont know if i can trust them after the way they've treated me so far......

just pleaes....... all i want is some knowledge+ support

 

 

i hope i didnt braek any rules... fi i did, please tell me so i can chagne it.... but w/e you do DONT delete this post :*(.

 

 

why councling/nutritionist/drr.etc=not an option in our family
my family has an "image" problem with ... yeah... society.. embarassment..
and i'll be a disappointment, failure, etc..... :(. i already am :*(...
but for other families to know would shame my parents so much.... or atleast make them feel like it. and iti'l;ll be my fault.
yes, i DO care about my parents's feelings on "looking good".
i just want my parents to have it easier.
stupid pride.......

Start off SLOWLY like I did, Oily fish such as Mackeral, Salmon, These types of fish are good for dry skin which is lacking in essential oils. I eat salmon almost everyday and I havent gained a pound. I have now proved to myself that fat doesnt mean fat :)

Ive started drinking milk again so im able to get a whole bunch of calcium! I havent put weight on by doing this either. Both of these steps include helping your body, just because you eat a little more doesnt mean you are going to gain 20 pounds in a day from eating a little fat.

Mainly figure out a plan which helps you include oily fish, good calcium sources such as milk, yogurts, cottage cheese, cheese. Good carb sources such as wholegrain bread, brown rice. Once you trust that you can up your intake enough so you are able to run then do it, if not you are just going to be burning off everything you eat and therefore losing more weight which totally defeats the object entirely. If you really must exercise concentrate on a little weight training and sit ups!

Email me if you ever need to chat *hugs* baby steps!

thank you>

but its not i DONT eat those "fatty" healthy food... heck, i eat nuts and some meat every day (+yogurt). i never truly starved my self and went under 1600 calories- i averaged 2000 actually................. or i THOUGHT i did.


but once i eat those "salmony" food, i started counting the days calories like craxy... unfortuantly, i have a good memory of what i've eaten in a day... so i end up counting it all at night. my downfall was overdoing it.

 

 

start off slowly......... i'll try harder. i'll try harder to eat MORE of those fatty food.... its so HARD though :( BABYSTEPS.. kay kay kay.....



**what does a cup look like? is it different for liquid+ solids? whats the difference between those food?

To answer your questions, I am in a similar position really, well I have actually been anorexic but am overcoming a relapse in which I lost weight because I was eating an okay amount but not enough for my exercise regime etc. and it was all very controlled. Anyway, you will benefit in fitness if you gain weight: you will gain muscle and become stronger. If you want to increase this maybe try adding a weight training program to or instead of your runs, even though, I have to be honest I still run just to keep me sane. It's all about balance and obviously if you eat a bit over, but still in your happy, healthy zone then you will gain weight. A healthy amount is 1-2lb per week and this can be done by just adding 500 kcal a day to your diet.

I'll be honest you may feel bloated, it's inevitable sadly but as you will be exercising you can tone your body so the weight is well distributed. Unfortunately, no one has control on how they as a person gains weight; every persons' body is different but you'll be better off in the long term. I'm not gonna lie, at first the weight may go on fast and it could be overwelming, if you have a sufficient amount of cals, but this will level out!!

If you need someone to talk to but haven't got anybody or don't feel comfortable to talk to somebody, write it down, let it all out; it'll clear your head!!!!

 

so will i ONLY be able to maintain my fitness if i gain weight AND eat more at the same time?

 

what would happen if i ate more but didnt exercize? would i not distribute the weight better?

okay, i def will run... keeps me sane too.... just gives me a healthy feeling, being able to run (although i've been getting alot worse lately? :*( )

really, dont worry. :) youre in a good spot. sounds like youre not totally starving yourself. how tall are you, how old are you? first you need to figure out how many calories you need a day to maintain, and then add some for a nice slow gain.

when you gain weight people tend to gain in the middle for a few reasons. in my case i gained a lot there because i was eating almost nothing everyday. my digestion slowed and food sat in my stomach for a long time, making me look pregnant. after a few months this improved.

people also gain because a womans body protects its reproductive organs. so some fat will settle there before redistributing. yes, some gain will be fat. but its good fat for us so were healthy. when it distributes, itll just be smooth supple skin, not lumps :)

weight training is your friend! add light weights so you tone as you gain. you can keep running but make sure to include extra calories for your workouts or your body will think its starving. i have protein shakes to keep my calories up since i cant eat too much at once (stomach shrunk). slowly things improve.

i didnt exercise for the first few months. i started yoga to help with digestion and to calm myself about eating fears/panic attacks. it really helped limber me up and i love it now. then is started running, and i still do a few times a week, but just for about 20 mins. i do weights 2-4 times a week. i am very careful to eat back the calories i burned so as not to distess my body. i also go easy :) this is about fitness and health and beating this. so if i want a weekend off i take it.

i got my abs back BEFORE i started doing ab workouts again. but i do them sometimes because i like keeping my core strong. now my belly is very very flat.

to sum up:

if you raise your calories a lot to a healthy level you will gain. your body will probably store some in your stomach. over time that 'fat' will be distributed to look healthy and natural, and some will help you build and maintain muscle-which means youll maintain and even improve your fitness level.

its scary but youll be alright :) i used to be chubby also! and i certainly am not now at a healthier weight. hang in there-message me if you need anything

To be honest, just do whats best for you, it's not that you won't maintain fitness if you don't exercise, it's just my personal preference and you just sounded similar to me. I meant that if you gain weight your fitness levels will benefit.

I also do pilates: it's calming but toning and strengthening!!

Good luck but you sound like you are really going for this; jut remember to compensate for any exercise with food!!

I know that you fear gaining. I have gained throughout my recovery process. I believe that you would find a home in the weight gain forum. Perhaps you should consult a doctor or nutritionist to help you along your path.

Please feel free to PM me anytime. We are here at CC to better our lives and to improve our health. I hope that you are realizing that food is fuel and needed to live by.

Gaining IS scary.  There is absolutely no way around it.  AS has been suggested to you, the key is to take baby steps.  Up your calories slowly and try not to get into the habit of just eating crap to meet your new caloric intake.  Be prepared to feel hungrier as your metabolism kicks back up.   DO NOT WORRY about what the people around you think.  I was the same way (I actually was embarrassed to go to the gym because I had put on weight--even though I NEEDED to put on weight).  Chances are, people will respond positively.  You may hear a lot of "Wow, you look so much healthier."  DO NOT interpret this to mean "Wow, you look fat."  Honestly, people do not mean it that way.  You will be healthier and your body will thank you in the long run.

As far as the specifics go, you are going to gain mostly in your stomach at first.  There's no way to avoid it because it will go to the place where there are the most vital organs that need that fat layer for protection.  However, as you consistently give your body what it needs, the weight will start distributing itself more evenly and you will regain some of those beautiful curves that women are SUPPOSED to have.  Just keep in mind how much damage you can do to your body when you are underweight and remember that this truly is FOR THE BEST.  Lastly, gaining is not going to make your running suffer.  I actually got faster when I put on some healthy pounds.  Definitely incorporate some resistance training, and cut the running back to 2-3 times a week at first.  Give your body some time to adjust.  You'll be great!

Message me if you need ANYTHING!!!!

I absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE youguys........

although i am still scared of gaining and the exepriences i'll go through withit, i'm more willing than ever (especially if my running will get better XD)

2 troubles that just came to mind:
would my skin suffer? it's kind of saggy b/c i look like a bag of skin trying to hold on to its muscles right now (or atleast i THINK)...... kinda stretchy all over.. if i start gaining, will it get better or will i add skin to it?

and...... this just in, i go CRAZY without running......
this week, i tried going without running for 3-4 days, and i think i lost it. I was moody pissy @ ecveryone etc..... but today, i just felt like running... so i was like, "okay, jsut one mile"... but then i couldnt stop and got to 4 miles.... i was thinking," uhoh, i try to gain weight" but at the same time, i felt GREAT. i havent felt so happy in 4 days after i ran..
**is this a good sign or a bad sign?******

and after i run, i lose my appitite. tahts another bad........
and i try not to FORCE myself to eat b/c i KNOW i'll end up feeling BAD.......
but should i force it anyways? (eat fatty food)

 

 

 

 

edit:::

another thing, my weight fluctuated like.... 7 pounds up and down... goes between 92- 98 constantly...... normal?

Your skin won't suffer at all, if anything, if you are eating good, healthy fats and general diet, your skin should get better because you will be nourished!

If the running thing is hard try and maybe shorten your runs or lessen their intensity, I find that setting out a route and sticking to it can be quite effective because then you arent tempted to 'just do that bit more' or find another form of exercise like yoga or pilates because they will bot strengthen and relax which will aid in the weight gain because you will be gaining muscle!!!

All exercise initially stunts appetite but after say 30 minutes, your appetite will actually increase because that's a natural response to exercise!!

Don't force yourself to eat but if, like me, you don't get hungry often try stickin to a meal plan of set times when you ae going to eat; this way you will have some control and not 'forget' but also you should actually start to notice that your body begins to expect food at these times as well, i.e through hunger

uh oh........... this is scarry again :*(...

i can't run anymore (study finals), which makes me kinda bored OR just... gives me extra time...
I don't like running just 1 mile b/c then i'll get out with a little sweat for nothing...... and i hvae this thing with running that i get dropped off at a park for about 30 min and get picked up again b/c thats just the way my schedual works with my dad and him picking up my little sis @ school and stuff... and i just dont want to run1 mile and be done for the day..

so i don't run until the summer anymroe......
but.... i eat SO MUCH after school.....i know, its good. it's helping me gain, but it's a SCARRY feeling eating so much @ once (get hungry after school) and sometimes i just can't stop (like yesterday). i dont like feeling so bloated soon after....... and it ultimatly makes me NOT want to gain weight again...

 

i'm just really upset. if i keep eating like this (unable to stop), then i dont want to gain weight. i dont like that "full feeling" b/c it makes me stuffy, tired, uncomforable, and big bellied.

how can i control myself so i can eat little amounts of hi-cal stuff throughout the day insetad of eating all at once.

and what should i do about that "i feel so fat... i'm gaining too FAST" thought?

i had 1200 calories of breakfast @ 7 of the worst foods in the world. (cupcake, icecreams)

 

i feel like i'm losign control of a healthy life i wanted. i feel so sick..
i wasnt even EJOYING eating those things. the whole time i was thinking of regretting it. but i kept on going.

 

could i turn into binging???? i hear some ppl do and they gain TONS of weight..

 

 

 

i need SO much help :*(

Binging is often what happens when you have been restricting calories for a long period of time.  It's also a normal part of the process.  it's your body's way of telling you that you've been starving it for WAY too long.

Can you talk to your parents?  If you can, you may want to consider seeing a nutritionist and/or therapist.  Mine has been fantastic throughout the entire process.  She helped me gain in a healthy way and made sure that I wasn't doing anything to jeopardize my progress.