Thanks, but no, thanks...

Support, in my eyes, is someone who can relate to you; someone who won't stand in your way or try to sabotage your efforts.  Support to me, is very important.  I have the "I don't want to do it on my own" attitude, and that will never change, yet, it doesn't stop me. 

I'm a sensitive person; always has been, always will be.  My friends obviously know how sensitive I am and how much I struggle with my weight, so sometimes it can be really frustrating when all I want is the truth.  The hardcore, ugly, kill me now, I hate you-type truth. 

How many of you hate it when you want to hear something and you don't hear it?  I know, some of you are going to think I'm crazy when I say this, but I actually WANT to be told I could stand to lose a few inches off my waistline. 

I recently submitted an email to Bulging Brides, the show, and I told my friends about it.  "But why?"  "You're not fat!"  "You're not going to bulge."  "You look beautiful!"  ENOUGH!  I've been hearing that **** all my life and now when I get down to committing to something, I've got nothing but, "No, you don't have to's," and "You're beautiful no matter how big."  We're all beautiful in someone's eyes, but don't contradict me!  If this is what I want, then support it or shut your damn mouth!!

Anyone else have this problem, or am I just insane?

Or both?

Agreed. When I got up to about 120 pounds, I needed someone to tell me to start working out again. Get your wide bum off the couch and bust up a sweat. Now, I'm 5'1 so 120 is a big curvier for me!

That was last year. Now, I'm 113 or so, and trying to get back to my 106-108 weight. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it makes a huge difference to my confidence and overall happiness. I don't care if that is shallow because I'm allowed to hate my body. Haha just kidding. However, we all know that weight we can look back on and go "Damn, I was happy."

Those friends that say that are being great. Of course they would love us at whatever weight. Of course they think we are beautiful; it is because they LOVE us. This is different for strangers that meet us however. If you want to lose 5 pounds or even 50 go for it! Support yourself and find lots of people on here or around the office to support you. As long as you are in a healthy weight range, eating sensibly, and such than GO FOR IT!

If you want something in life, do it. Put the effort into it, and just do it. That goes for everything in life. Now if it concerns weight, do that exact thing. Give yourself a MONTH. One month of total effort with exercise and controlled eating, if you don't see a change (highly unlikely) than switch to another thing.

just do it. Throw yourself into it. It's your life, your body, your happiness!

Well, forgive me for being cynical, but it really depends a lot on what you look like, how you carry your weight, etc. Maybe you're really beautiful and even if you (think/know) you need to lose a bit of weight your friends just don't SEE it.

(I have no idea what you look like and you really don't have any personal stats here or on your profile, so, it's hard to help with the honesty factor. How much weight do your think you need to lose? 5 lbs? 50 lbs? 100 or more lbs?)

I'm in the 100+ to lose category, so I can assure you this a problem I've never had with friends or family. It's painfully obvious that I need to lose weight.

So, that's why I'm here and what I'm learning to do.

Good luck to you on your journey!

I guess I should have been a bit more specific.  I totally forgot that I have no stats on my profile.  I'm 5'4.5 and 155 lbs.  My measurements are 39-32-40.  That gives you a better idea.  I'm at the toned fat stage where I have flub, but definition. 

Personally I think your weight is your own business and your own responsibility. If you want to lose weight, go for it - but your friends shouldn't have to be your cheerleaders the whole way. Take ownership of your weight and do this for yourself.

At 155lbs you are only just outside the healthy weight range so there is no "hardcore, ugly, kill me now, I hate you-type truth" when it comes to your weight. In fact, they're right when they say you're not fat. Since when was a BMI of 25.8 fat?

Bulging Brides wouldn't look twice at your application... perhaps you should work on your self esteem and body image as much as your weight

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Personally I think your weight is your own business and your own responsibility. If you want to lose weight, go for it - but your friends shouldn't have to be your cheerleaders the whole way. Take ownership of your weight and do this for yourself.

At 155lbs you are only just outside the healthy weight range so there is no "hardcore, ugly, kill me now, I hate you-type truth" when it comes to your weight. In fact, they're right when they say you're not fat. Since when was a BMI of 25.8 fat?

Bulging Brides wouldn't look twice at your application... perhaps you should work on your self esteem and body image as much as your weight

Now, that's what I call "I hate you" truth

I say go for it, girl! While your friends are right and you are by no means fat, I will agree with you - you could stand to lose a few inches here and there. I'm 5'4", and I started off at 175 lbs. I don't remember my measurements when I was 155, but when I was 150, it was roughly 38-30-38 - we seem to have similar figures, so I would imagine that 5 lbs down the road your measurements would be pretty much the same. And I know that I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. My friends would tell me that I looked great - but that's friends for you. Of course I looked great compared to 175 lbs! Yet I didn't stop there. This morning I weighed in at 132 lbs, and it makes a HUGE difference!

While Bulging Brides will probably feed your application to the shredder as soon as they see your stats, don't let anyone stop you if losing weight is what you want. You don't have to live with the rolls! That's what I hated the most - when I'd sit down, my stomach would roll over my waistband  ...

Best of luck on your journey! You can definitely do it :)  

Although I probably wouldn't catagorize you as 'fat enough' to make it on the show, I completely understand what you mean about the truth.

Before my b/f started dating, we were friends for a few years first.....at one point when we started getting closer we were emailing back n forth (slow day at work haha) and he made some comment about how I could stand to lose a few lbs. At first I was kinda  pissed that he'd say that to me....but at least he told the truth in how he felt. My other friends would NEVER have said that to me.....my sis will tell me the truth and not sugar coat it and it's good for the soul I think. And since you obviously have some things you want to change about yourself, it would be nice to have your friends saying that they understand!

Well, the people on Bulging Brides are usually ones who have fallen off the wagon and gained weight due to poor eating habits or sedentary lifestyle. Those are the people most likely get the most results from the 6 week bootcamp because the changes will really kick their body into gear. The people on the show also MUST lose weight or else they won't fit into their dresses... so if your dress fits, you won't be cast either.

I'd love to have my butt kicked by Tommy Europe but they would probably reject my tape because I already have my **** together in terms of diet & exercise.

I may be just a dumb guy who's missing something, but have you told them flat out to be open and honest with you?

If you have, try telling them that, while you appreciate their opinions, your intentions are to lose some weight whether they think so or not, and you would appreciate their help and support.

Obviously, they'll still probably tell you you look fantastic even after one pound lost, but you'll know how you feel.  Keep going until you're happy with yourself, and your real friends should support you until you reach your goal.

Support can come in many ways.  It can come from people telling you how it is.  It can come from people just asking if you how your progress is going.  It can come from people asking you how they can help (slapping cookies out of your hand, etc ).

If your friends won't go the "brutally honest" route, find some other way they can help.