Thats it! Binge-free day #1 starts today!

After binging the night before yesterday and having an all day binge yesterday, I've had a horrible, rough night yesterday and couldn't go to school today... I hate to sound like a whiner - its my fault I did it, but I am going to fix this once and for all.

I used to be anorexic, to make matters worse, I'd never stuffed that many poptarts, that much bread, and protein bars down my gullet.  I could definently use some binge buddies that I can message if I get the urge and any tips on stopping a binge would be fantastic!  NEVER again, binge bugs, NEVER again am I letting you run my evenings.

I have the same problem. When I was a teen I just didn't eat. I didn't really think about it or do it on purpose though, but none the less I hardly ate and was underweight. Now I don't do that anymore....now I binge! I start eating and can't stop. Its like I think that I have to have the "full" feeling in my stomach, and if I don't I eat more! I usually start to binge out at night after doing good all day. Yesterday was a bad day for me though. I binged all day long. I decided also that I needed to get back on track today! Doing good so far, crossing my fingers for this evening!

I don't know why I started binging for that full feeling.  I think I restricted too long and it just felt so good to have food in my stomach, but I couldn't recognize hunger cues.  Good luck and great to hear!  I'm sure you'll do fantastic.

Today is my binge free day #1 as well. I'd love to be your buddy. ^_^

Cool!  This is the start of day #2 for me, and I already set some goals -

• Eat when I'm hungry
• Have pre-portioned snacks
• No poptarts in the house, again, ever >.<
• Enjoy my food, eat slowly
• Ask for help if I get a binge urge
• Kitchen's closed rule after meals and snacks

Looking forward to today!  Its going to be good!

Yeah I think it's an effect of "going without" for so long for me to. As a teen my parents were divorced. When I stayed with my mom all you could find in the house was fresh fruit, raw veggies, and diet pills. She is one of those very stereotypical women who has been overweight her entire adult life and has tried EVERY diet program in the world. God only knows how much dough she would have if every time she wanted to buy a diet book/pill/meal plan, she put it in a savings account instead over the last 15 years! Then when I was with my dad the only thing you found in the house was booze and steaks, and I'm a vegetarian....plus I was really depressed as a teen, so I never elt like eating anyway, even if I ACTUALLY had access to real food. So My caloric intake as a teen was definitely borderline anorexic but it wasnt a conscious or intentional decision. So when I moved out on my own all I consumed was milk and apples. Until I had kids. Then I started buying all the things you buy for kids....and I ate it! Never gained weight when I wasn't pregnant but I gained 15 pounds of pure fat with each pregnancy because I used pregnancy to my full advantage as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. 15 lb x 4 kids =60 pounds overweight! I've been dieting since I had my last 16 months ago, I've lost 50 pounds, only a few more to go......but I have only lost 7 pounds in the last 4 months...I keep plateauing, because I keep binging at nights. I open the pantry and see all these snack foods I buy for my kids and husband and it drives me crazy, I end up treating my pantry as a little snack food buffet. Trying a little bit of everything. Until I have eaten enough calories to officially put me at or over my maintaining calorie amount! I need to stop this or I'll never go anywhere but up.....when I do this it really scares me. Like I think, Sure I don't look bad now, I only have a few pounds to loose and I've lost so many already. But I'm onbly 25. What will happen if I get over this, loose the rest of the weight, but 10-15 years down the road this behavior hits me again. Am I going to have the piss and vinegar I have now to kick myself in the ass and keep myself in check when I'm 35 40 years old? Am I destined to fight a cycle of under eating and binging my entire life or will I ever be normal? I'm already suffering from my lifetime of poor eating habits medically. I am "insulin resistant". I didn't tell my DR about my abnormal eating habits. And probably never will. But how he explained it all to me. I know I have it because of my eating habits. Now I have like an 99% chance of being diabetic in 15 years.....

Count me in on this! I know what you mean about that full feeling...I have dealt with anorexia that turned into bulimia and now is mostly binge eating disorder.

When I was purging after every binge, when I was bingeing I would try to get as full as possible...partly because I was going to throw it up, and partly because I felt like I HAD to throw up when I was so full I couldn't move...that sounds so ridiculous but it's so true.

We can keep each other posted on how we're doing...good luck!!

Well for me it's start over day #1. I've been saying "start over" 5 days a week for the last 3 months!!!Someone needs to kick me in the butt because I don't think I'm kicking myself hard enough right now :( I don't know whats wrong with me but I'm getting really sad when I look in the mirror. I feel like I am gaining weight back, getting fatter! The scale doesnt say so but I swear in my mirror I'm getting bigger!

this is my day #1 tooo =)

i was annorexic, and then developed a binge disorder. im currently 5'5" and about 101. im trying to just gain muscle now since ive gained enough back in fat *my lowest was 82lb*

wish mee luckk! and the same to everyone else trying. but i definately agree that we should keep eachother posted. like if we need help just come here and post. anyone have aim? 

Original Post by jessikkaa_x3:

this is my day #1 tooo =)

i was annorexic, and then developed a binge disorder. im currently 5'5" and about 101. im trying to just gain muscle now since ive gained enough back in fat *my lowest was 82lb*

wish mee luckk! and the same to everyone else trying. but i definately agree that we should keep eachother posted. like if we need help just come here and post. anyone have aim? 

I have AIM, I am spacebunni3  bleh >.< I was how young when I picked that stupid name?  hah hah

Original Post by aftonmae:

Well for me it's start over day #1. I've been saying "start over" 5 days a week for the last 3 months!!!Someone needs to kick me in the butt because I don't think I'm kicking myself hard enough right now :( I don't know whats wrong with me but I'm getting really sad when I look in the mirror. I feel like I am gaining weight back, getting fatter! The scale doesnt say so but I swear in my mirror I'm getting bigger!

As long as you keep trying to start over thats what is really important.  Each day is new day, and I know how frustrating it is when people say that to me (because they weren't the ones who binged yesterday so how would they know, right?) but don't ever give up hope.  I'll be here if you need to message somebody or anything ^_<

Original Post by aftonmae:

I have the same problem. When I was a teen I just didn't eat. I didn't really think about it or do it on purpose though, but none the less I hardly ate and was underweight.

 Hey me too! I haven't had anyone say they were like this before lol. It's so strange that I just genuinly didn't care about food. I found eating an inconvenience, I scarfed down my dinner to get it out of the way, and skipped breakfast because I couldn't be ****. I think I just ate lunch because everyone at school did lol...

Anyway; When I was anorexic I did develop a tendency to binge. I got down to a very low weight, but at the same time in a binge + fast cycle (so they'd cancel each other out). My "recovery" turned into constant binging lead to a fast + uncomfortable weight gain.

HOWEVER - I don't binge anymore! I think I can safely say I've conquered binging.

The number one reason is: I'm not starving. I'm always making sure to feed myself, and to KNOW that food is always comming. The reason for my binging has always been a fear of never getting to eat again, so when I started binging I'd just think I had to eat it all because I "could" now.

I think you really need to identify WHY you binge, and then focus on the solution to that reason. 

Original Post by joanne811:

 Hey me too! I haven't had anyone say they were like this before lol. It's so strange that I just genuinly didn't care about food. I found eating an inconvenience, I scarfed down my dinner to get it out of the way, and skipped breakfast because I couldn't be ****. I think I just ate lunch because everyone at school did lol...

 

I grew up in two households, like I said, neither one was a household that served dinner. My mom worked two jobs and went to school full time so she was never home. My Dad drank his dinner. I think back an realize that whenever I felt a bit hungry, I would grab the gallon of milk from the fridge and take a swig. Thats how I nurished myself almost 100% until about maybe 4 years ago when my husband realized this and was like WHOA! You need to eat! Stop driking milk! He really rode my ass about that and I finally stopped. Thats when the binging started. The only other things I ate as a teen where the occasional apple at my Mom's, and the occasional cinnimon roll with cream cheese frosting during lunch break at school from Maverick. We have an open campus here and there was a Maverick around the corner form school....

I learned a long time ago that part of recovering from binging and bulimia is taking one day at a time. 

I don't mean to sound doom and gloomish but in my experience this isn't as easy to stop as it sounds.  My recommendation would be to treat every day as a new day.  For me, some days are easier to get through than others.  If I have a stressful day, staying out of the kitchen is a must.  I make myself find something else to do.  Taking the dog for a walk, working on the treadmill, or reading a book or magazine is usually enough to get me to stop thinking about binging.  I also find that keeping close track of what I eat keeps me honest.  I am more likely to binge on a day that I haven't written items down. 

I also plan one day a week where I get a special treat.  This past Friday I had an ice cream sudae at one of my favorite ice cream shops.  I had this planned for two weeks and every time I was tempted to grab something I shouldn't I reminded myself that that trip was coming up. 

Finally, if none of these things work and it is evening, close to bed time, I just go to bed.  I tend to binge after my kids are in bed.  Instead of staying up and being tempted I just hit the hay and then I don't have to worry about it. 

I don't make it through every day, but sticking to the above items has made me much more successful.

 

I was very close to binging yesterday.  I started eating right out of two trai mix bags that I had because I wanted the chocolate and rasins out of them.  I unfortunately ate most of the raisins and candy out of them, but I stopped myself from eating the whole bags.

Don't get me wrong, raspberryaltoids, I know this is going to be hard, but I'm trying to hold myself more accountable and take an active role in preventing my binging and just eat healthy as well as not restrict my favorite snacks and treat myself every once in a while.

I am with you!! Starting today :)

Last night I binged too.... its so frustrating!!
I thought I'd have a healthy snack - an orange. But than I decided I wanted more, so I  had a cucumber w/ dressing. And than I needed something sweet - so I had a couple cookies. But I decided that more than a couple cookies would be much too unhealthy (plus there were only a few left in the box :P), so I moved onto cereal.

Cereal ruins me everytime. I just grab handfuls out of the box. And I ate half the box of cereal.... I just sit there and eat it, handful after handful. I think that every handful will be the last, but it never is. And I know it - but I still can't stop! Urgh!
Finally I managed to tear myself away and drank a lot of sweet soymilk afterwards.

So.... no more binging challenge!!
Its that addictive sugar. I really think its addictive... like a drug. I can never stop once I start.

rasberryaltoids. You pretty much described me perfectly. I try so hard to take it one day at a time. I just call every day a "start over day" haha. I know it's not easy to get over because I  have been fighting it for a year and a half now. I don't know how you stay out of the kitchen with kids. It's so hard for me to NOT be in there a big portion of my day with 4 kids and a husband. But I try really hard to keep myself busy so I don't think about food. And it works pretty much all day. Until about 10 pm it seems. Then I start thinking about food. I think of the idea of just "going to bed" to avoid binging at night, But after I put my kids to bed I have a habit of going in my room and watching TV. It's my relaxing time. And I'll stay up late....until I binge....then most of the time I try to purge, but I have a habit of binging on crackers or bread at night so I usually make my throat bleed before anything come ups. Then I go to bed with the same thought on my mind as every night. "well ya failed again today. Good job.....start over tomorow....." Tell myself if I'm going to be stupid enough to binge I should at least make it something that will come back up. Ask myself why I always break and do this every night. That I'm a strong person so why do I keep ruining my life over a few minutes worth of cramming crackers in my mouth? I feel like I'm loosing my mind.

Yesterday I wasn't out of control, so I don't feel like I binged, but looking back on everything I ate, and the way I ate it, it probably was a binge.

Day 1 starts again today, so far so good.  I've had a hearty breakfast, a good lunch and decent snacks so far.  Now I just have to get through my biggest trigger time at night.  It won't be easy considering there is so much junk in the house, but I think I have the willpower.  I can do this!

aftonmae,  Try hanging a calendar somewhere.  When you make it though a day, put a big x on it.  Look at it every day.  Be proud of the x's, at the end of the day, especially since this seems to be where your trouble is, be sure to look at them and remind yourself that there are only a few hours left. Let the x remind you that you can do it.

 Find something to do at night.  Read, do crossword puzzles, anything to keep you busy.

I think that binging is all about control. (At least it is for me.)  It is the one thing I can control in my life.  But, I don't want to be a slave to this and I would like to keep all of my teeth until I am very old.  So, I am working very hard to make the change.  You can do it to. 

 

Thanks rasberryaltoids. That sounds like a good idea. And i can do that today, because I went all day yesterday without binging for the first time in weeks! I had about 150 calories more then I would have liked to, but not a binge! I'm doing a little bit of remodeling in my house right now and I think that was the only thing that saved me, because I was so busy the entire day I had only had 1050 calories by 10:30 and then I had a bowl of oatmeal.......but i also has a peice of bread and 2 sugar free Ande's mints...but I was IN CONTROL of that though. I made a concious desicious that that was what i would eat if I was so hungry and that was that!

Good for you!!

 Keep it up!