Is it really their business anyway?

O.K., this might sound a little ungrateful, but I have a peeve that I want to share and see if anyone else has had a similar experience.  I would also love to know how people handle something like this.

I have had more people coming up to me lately saying-"You look great---how much weight have you lost, anyway?"  I'm sorry, but unless your my doctor or someone close to me, I don't see why I should answer.  So I politely say " A Lot" and move on.  Am I handling this the right way?  Does anyone else out there have this issue? 

Nah, it doesn't bug me. I'm proud to say I lost 50 lbs.

Today though someone asked me how much I lost , and it did bug me; but only because my co-worker/friend was in the room and she's currently struggling with her weight. I didn't want her feeling awkward or uncertain about herself so I did simply answer with an "I'm not sure." I also quickly changed the topic. I love her to death so i try to stick up for her whenever possible. Just the other day the inconsiderate mailman came to our office and made a lude comment about overweight people whilst she was in th room. I could tell shegot hurt so I quickly jumped in an started poking fun at myself. I started making fun of my freakishly large head. It's true though, i have a giant watermelon head.

What bugs me is "what's your secret?"  Secret?  Diet and exercise!  I tell them just that.

Yes, I know what you mean.  For me, it depends on who says it and what they say.  Today, a lady saw me and she said I looked great.  I told her I'd lost 74 lbs. and she said, ACTUALLY said:  You really needed it!!!!!!!  (WTF????)

But she was so happy and complimentary otherwise and I don't think she was being catty - just clueless.  I do laugh when people ask my secret, too.  One lady said to me:  "I heard (not "I can see that...") you've lost weight.  What's your secret?  Write it down for me."  (ROFLMAO)  People are well-meaning, but sometimes weird.

Somebody else asked me about exercise and I said I do what I can every day, even if it's just five minutes on the elliptical.  She said:  "No, you have to build up for it to do any good."  Whatever.  I said what works for me works for me - I can't speak for anyone else.  (She avoids me now - I might've been a little too emphatic...  heehee - but this little troll has been getting heavier and heavier since I started working at this company five years ago, so why on earth would I follow her advice????)  The main thing is we don't owe anyone any explanation we don't want to give, ya know?  I totally know what you all are saying.  DDugan, if you say, "A lot" that should be enough of a hint for the person to move on.  If it's not, don't expect much tact in the future.  

We all have our own battles to fight and our own strategies.  If what we do works, then it's a good thing.  I am all about good things in my life nowadays!  Y'all have fun, now, ya hear?

I've always found weight comments to be quite awkward.

Some people can be really clueless but others just seem a bit catty.  The "what's your secret?" questions are really amusing though.

This is a little different, but I get sick of people asking WHAT I'm doing... or HOW I'm doing it, so I've come up with a great answer, and I tell them nothing more and nothing less.

Jello Shots. One before every meal.

 

So Jello shots are the secret?  Now I know!!! LOL

I agree 100%.  I don't answer people when they ask... how much? Or how? Or Hey, have you lost weight?  (Dude, I've lost 80 lbs, ya dork!)  I typically answer with a very vague, I've lost some or alot and walk away. I think with me, its embarassing to me personally that I let my weight get so far out of control. I look at it as a negative sometimes. If I've lost 80lbs ... that means I gained 80 lbs.  Does that make any sense?  Even my own best friend, I put her off about the numbers too.  I just dont like to talk about it.  This weight loss for me was very personal and I dont like to talk about it. 

BUT, I have finally found the perfect answer to how.... JELLO SHOTS!!!  I love that. 

Lol I know huh! Please, feel free to use it too!

I've lost 40 lbs and have only started having people notice. Finally. I recently went on a business trip with a collegue, and over dinner we had a conversation about weight loss etc so I told her I'd lost 40 and she had the usual "how are you doing it" questions. Just natural curiosity, and probably some hope that it's a miracle cure she can use too. What bugged me though, was for the rest of the trip she announced to people that I had lost 40 lbs recently, most of them I had never met before! That was awkward.

So far, the only person to really piss me off with a comment about my weight loss is from a woman who could stand to lose a pound or thirty herself, but that is more due to the fact that she is just someone I don't really like much.

Most of the people at work are pretty good about comments and when someone asks how I did it, I usually come back with, "Just changed my junk eating ways and exercise.  If you want the gory details, then we'll need a whiteboard and a couple of hours."  In my case, it would be pretty hard not to notice the change in me as I have lost 116 pounds so far (the equivalent of a healthy 14 year old boy) and over 6 inches off of my waist.  One of the nice side effects is that I no longer have any problem with the weight sensors in the mantrap we must use to enter my work place. (I work in a secure building that includes metal detectors, retina scanners, and a weight sensor that you have to get past to enter the interior of the building.)

Some people enjoy their weight loss being noticed and some people don't. I'd try to not take it so personally, how are they supposed to know you're the type who doesn't like when people notice?

I don't have much to lose (20 lbs total), so it will never be apparent to some people.  But this past weekend, someone did notice and asked if I'd lost a little.  I was elated!  My decrease in beer consumption has finally paid off. 

Generally, I'll assume that the people some of you guys have dealt with are well-meaning if not a little tactless.

This is what I hate...and just had this discussion with my husband yesterday.

I've had several comments from people..."have you lost weight"  "you're not going to lose anymore are you?"  "you're getting too skinny"

Now...I'm 5'6"...128lbs...perfectly within my healthy BMI range.  So now, not only, do I have to worry about being too fat...I have to worry about being too skinny.

Can't win!

Original Post by dove2424:

What bugs me is "what's your secret?"  Secret?  Diet and exercise!  I tell them just that.

 That's people's question for everything. When you focus and achieve a goal they automatically assume you're doing something magical and holding out on them

I have to assume people mean well and are just not very good at expressing themselves.  I used to hate the comments regarding my weight loss followed by some version of "you look great" .  It's just a compliment, but to me it always inferred that I used to look terrible.  Just touchy, maybe?  Anyway, if the intention is good I guess one can forgive the wording.

And yeah, they always assume there's some big secret magic "cure"  I used to just say "no diet, just sensible eating'  but i think i will go with the jello shots remark in future, since no one ever believed me.

I get a lot of comments because after 159 lb, it's hard for people not to notice. Most of the comments at work come from people not in my department. Most of my close co-workers see me out on the trails walking and running and see my meals so they know what I'm doing. Other people don't, so I get the how much have you lost, I usually answer honestly as it's not like I can hide the fact that I was fat (and am fat, just not morbidly anymore).

As for what's your secret, I've figured out that people like acronyms and catch phrases (hey I work at an engineering firm) so I've come up with an answer:

the 4Ws--I Watch what I eat (calorie counting), I Weigh myself weekly, I do Weight training and I Walk.

And sometimes the comments are about people being impressed with the consistency of my exercise (out there rain, snow, shine...) and those probably make me the happiest.

There is a polite, standard response to any personally invasive questions:  "Why do you ask?"

How much weight did you lose?  How did you do it?  When are you having children?  Are you having any more children?  When are you two getting married?  What is your secret?

"Why do you ask?"  Translation:  Please justify your unwelcome instrusion into my personal business.

Original Post by pennsylvanian:

There is a polite, standard response to any personally invasive questions:  "Why do you ask?"

How much weight did you lose?  How did you do it?  When are you having children?  Are you having any more children?  When are you two getting married?  What is your secret?

"Why do you ask?"  Translation:  Please justify your unwelcome instrusion into my personal business.

i like this a lot

When people start asking me how I've lost my weight, I'm seriously just going to say "A magic pill!". WTF do they expect us to say? EAT LESS MOVE MORE!

Like many of you, I can't hide it anymore.  Some people I will tell and others I just say "ALOT!"  

The thing that threw me the most was actually fairly recent...my neighbor who hadn't seen me much all winter, the conversation went like this:

Neighbor: I didn't even recognize you until I saw your daughter...how much did you lose?

Me: ALOT!

neighbor: No, really how much, 75, 100?

Me: Yeah...somewhere in there (as I tried to excuse myself)

Neighbor: Oh, you must've gotten that lap band surgery, how was it?

At this point I finally told him lots of fruits, veggies and exercise