For the most part, I think lifestyle changes can make a difference.  But for some people, even that doesn't work.  I've tried it all.

Due to pain from Fibro Myalgia and Psoriatic Arthritis, I'm lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep at night, and the only exercise I can tolerate is the swimming pool, which I've only had available for a year.

Just before I was first diagnosed with the Fibro and Arthritis 8 years ago, I had finally started losing weight.  The first month I took the meds for the Fibro and Arthritis, I gained 45 lbs with absolutely no change at all in lifestyle, activity or eating habits.  I no longer take the meds, but I've had a steady weight gain over the past 8 years since, until this past year, when I've managed to maintain.  Unfortunately I still weigh 350 lbs.

So, I'm not really sure if weight gain is just a symptom or if we're overcomplication the matter.  I think it depends on the individual.  I know I've been fighting my weight most of my life, and I'm 53 years old, and I've tried just about every diet in the book.  And my lifestyle has changed for the better, with the exception of the pain and lack of sleep.

Perhaps the success story people arrived at a moment in their personal lives where they had dealt with their "issue" and were then prepared to move to the next level, taking steps toward a more healthy, soul-nurturing approach to themselves, and as a result they were able to embrace a different eating and activity regime?!

Wish it was me...

I think for me, food, since I was a child was the answer to all.  I had an Italian Grandmother whose answer to everything was to eat.  If you happy, celebrate and eat, if your sick, eat, mad eat and so on.  So I see it as something that I was using for more than nutrition.  Knowing that is one thing, changing another.  Working on it....

some medications prevent weight loss...even make you gain. i've seen people like this, but they need the meds.

my thought on this is, if you have ever seen those commercials, and we have all made fun of the "side effect: diarrhea" in every product you read. it's really ironic, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out. if you are depressed, and you need medication, i wonder seriously how it helps when you have 9000 side effects on the medication. how does that make you happier? sure it may balance your mind more, but now you're constantly battling with the depression of weight gain, or maybe mood swings. and i've seen people try to readjust meds through doctors and then just quit them and risk their health because the meds were making them feel worse.

i think it is also genes. some people have to work harder or find a method that their body accepts. i think a nutritionalist of some kind can help. and in that event, also exercise. or maybe these types just have to seek mental help to accept themselves and try to just be healthy, even if you're not at your ideal weight.

the stress of it all is enough to stunt anything, and keep a midsection growing. so if you can relax, maybe that's the answer?

i am fortunate where i can do it if i really want it, but i've watched others struggle who really, really try, and it is depressing to have to watch them feel so bad when you know they aren't slacking.

I think that emotional issues, etc. can cause a temporary weight gain. I gained ten pounds within a few weeks when my husband was hospitalized. Eating too much junk from the vending machines, having no way to exercise (I stayed at the hospital for the most part), too many cups of coffee, too many Diet Dr Peppers, etc. And, of course, the stress.

Not to mention, they were (and are) trying to increase his calorie intake after surgery so lots of people brought lots of goodies to the hospital and the house.

However, I am back in control. I didn't like the extra weight so I tackled it head on.  I have lost most of the pounds but it surely comes on quicker than it leaves.

I have a family member that has gained easily 100 pounds over the past few years. I know of no emotional issues, everything has gone well in her personal and professional life.  She doesn't seem to be "aware" when each ten or fifteen pounds creeps on. Each of us is different for sure.

SUE

I think that gaining weight has many causes.  My life is not going that great right now (struggling with finding a job and a boyfriend that doesn't support me wanting to move to find one).  I feel that when I'm stressed, I gain more weight, not lose it.  If it was the other way around, I would be like a stick right now.  Stress seems to always find me.  I do feel that if I am more happy, I am more motivated to exercise and eat better. 

I think it may be a simple matter for some people but emotional imbalances play a major role in the overweight people around me and for the longest time, for me as well.

Because emotional wellbeing is tied so intricately to physical wellbeing, I have it experienced losing as a painful journey to become human instead of the "fat thing" I thought I was.

Its funny that while Im losing body weight many of my old fears, inhibitions, traumas are fading away.

One instance of the change in the behaviour of others around me and how Ive responded to it is as follows: People who had previously thought me "fat" and I accepeted that role in life are finding it either lovely or conversely , incredibly difficult to deal with me as a "normal" person.  

Sometimes it can be an incredible experience, sometimes a bit self serving to see people talk to me and falter . Other times its sad to see people trying to relegate me to the fat mold so they can deal with me in a manner that they are used to and I allowed them.

I guess I will find a balance but in the meantime I do wish I had received some encouragement, some kindness which would have allowed to lose weight earlier .

All of this is to say that for some of us, weight either comes after with loss of other uneccessary baggage or it can happen simultaneously.

Thanks for the initiating this particular dialogue.

I recently became very ill and finally went to the doctor.  While I was there, I mentioned to him that I was concerned about my weight gain.  I had gained 20 pounds in one year and 15 pounds the previous year.  I stopped all bad eating habits, stopped all medications, and exercised 6 days a week, at least an hour a day with 6 hours of strength training and 25 miles of jogging every week, yet the weight still came.  The doctor said it sounded like I had a vitamin deficiency so he ran some blood tests.  I was grossly deficient in vitamin D.  Who knew?  I started taking the supplements he prescribed and the weight is falling off (well, I’ve lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks).  My advice would be to anyone trying to get to the root problem of their weight gain to see a doctor.  Just to make sure. 

With me the weight I have gained is because I love food, I really truly love eating a Cracker Barrel apple dumpling, YUMMY.  I tend to eat to much of it.  And then I travel a lot for my job and I am just to shy to go into the work out room and work out, and too lazy to do it in my room.  My weight gain is my fault plain and simple.  Now I just have to make a decision and stop killing myself with a five minute pleasure and make better choices, or continue on this path to an early grave. 

I asked a friend one time how she lost all this weight and her response was, "I'm happy." Her career was in order, she'd met a great guy, she began to feel good, have more energy, be more active and the weight just began to melt off. I think it's because her focus shifted from food onto other, more positive things.

It's easy to say and less easy to do/feel, but I think it all comes down to being happy. If you're really happy and fulfilled in your life, then there's no void to fill (feed). Eating will just become part of the day...nourishment, enjoyment, easy.

But this is not just so simple to do/change. I know. I'm in that place where my life feels in disarray, I'm living far away from home, can't find a job, have been living in a not so ideal environment and have just all around felt dissatisfied. And I eat to make myself feel better. It's something I've done since I can remember--divorced parents + only child  + home alone = eating out of boredom, loneliness and stress. I've put on ten pounds in two months because I am unhappy (Although I have a lovely boyfriend, he can't fix my internal struggles.) And I know I need to make changes but it's so difficult.

My father says I should just be content with where I am, enjoy life, just be and be happy, and things will happen. I know for some it is that easy but for this girl it's not...although I know happiness is the solution. True happiness.

I don't know, maybe this is just my crazy mind, but overeating isn't exactly the only reason why people are fat....

I mean, how stereotypical is that: "he's fat, he must eat like a cow"

growing up, i watched my mother eat like 2 yogurts a day and that was it, but the weight never came off, but she was still happy because people can be fat and happy.

Look at Ruby Gettinger--I think she's pretty and she's a happy woman who happens to be fat. 

I don't know why weight has to define who you are and being fat means you eat a lot because in reality, it doesn't.

Don't you think that diet and exercise play an important role in individual happiness?  So, in fact, those people who lost weight by "only" eating better and exercising more, where also happier and felt better personally, which made continuing with the healthier lifestyle easier and more rewarding. It's all a cycle in my opinion.  We need to focus on finding ways to break the bad pattern and start a new one.

I believe there is no definite way to analyze the whole weight gain/weight loss and apply it to everyone, because people are not the same. They come from different backgrounds, sizes and many other factors in their lives might affect their eating habits.

Emotional eating might apply to some, but not to all. How about genetics? Those might affect the whole gaining/losing weight along with the emotional factors in our lives. Is there a genetic tendency in your family line that makes it difficult to lose weight? Is there a fat gene?

For me, I do not define people by the way they weight, or even dress. I want to lose weight, because it is healthier. But, I never like to judge others because I know not everyone who is fat, means only he eats too much. Personally, I believe that emotional, plus genetic factors with bad habits caused by our living lifestyles, creates the whole mess.

I have done both the slow creeping weight thing and the suddenly waking up and realizing that I've gained 30 pounds in 4 months and only one pair of pants fits anymore thing.  In all the instances where there was a sudden wake-up-you're-fat call, there was an emotional trigger-losing my job, the death of my mother, moving three times in one year.  I think I agree with Bob Greene about the emotional cause of weight gain needing to be addressed before permanent weight loss can happen (whether the weight gain be slow and gradual or overnight).  Even when my weight gain was gradual I can pinpoint the cause as being emotional-I don't deserve to be thin, I'm too depressed to exercise and take care of myself, or whatver it happened to be.   I agree with the above statement about defining yourself; once I quit blaming myself for not being a supermodel, it's been a lot easier to keep weight off. 

I am sure someone else offered these comments but I didn't have the chance to sort through to find out. 

I feel your article is very relevant.  For simplicity sake, let's focus on womanhood - I am approaching menopause.  At this time in my life, my metabolism has slowed down considerably and this fact effects the way my body processes the food I put in it.  I can not keep the same eating habits I had 20 years ago and not expect to lose weight.  When I became aware of this principle, it was enlightening and relieved me of a tremendous about of stress - I had an answer to what was happening to me.  We have to be in tune with our body and the changes that it experiences, which can be viewed as a "root cause".

Ironically the slimmest and trimmest I've ever been was when I was eating the most. I had for years an unfortunate tendency to skip meals, and I didn't want to eat in front of other people because I was a little overweight, and incredibly self-conscious that other people would see me eating and think I ate too much (I was a teenager and people had made comments many times before) these were incredibly damaging to my self-esteem... and eating less actually triggered my bodies starvation response and I gained a lot of weight. It happens every time I count calories. So I just have to stick to eating 6 nutritious small meals a day. The more often I eat, the more weight I lose... and I'm active, So I know it definately isn't just a matter of eat less.

Thanks for your comments CAREDENNIS.  Yes, screwing up our metabolism by starving ourselves is definitely a very key factor.  You've helped a lot of people by sharing your experience.

I think because we're so unique as human beings, everyone's experience with weight gain/loss is unique. I know for me that I have yet to identify my true "hunger" signals. That's why it's imperative for me to keep a log of what I eat and the amount of calories. I have identified one of the key emotions that cause me to eat and that is boredom. When I'm bored I find myself in the refrigerator every ten minutes. Boredom is always going to be a part of who I am. I can only divert my attention for so long and then the boredom comes back again. So now instead of trying to get rid of that one emotion entirely I drink lots of water when I'm bored and it fills me up.

Last year and half ago around Christmas I became ill, and was putting on weight to the tune of a pound to a pound and half a day!  I saw my doctor about this, and he said I did indeed have a virus, best to let it run its course.... In March, I came across an article in the Parade magazine about some viruses can cause you to gain weight.  The symptoms of the virus were identical to what I experienced.  I believe it was number 35, but I don't remember the first part of the name.  I'm still trying to lose the 35 pounds from that weight gain, and another 100 from other times when I was ill and needed steroids. (I have asthma, allergies, celiac disease, diabetes, hormones issues.... need I go on?) Exercise is tricky... I have two knees that need replaced, and it triggers my asthma.  I know stress can casue weight gain too.. I lost my husband, then, my dad, then my house, and recently my mom.. but I'm not gaining so much this time.. I am attending a weight loss class weekly to keep on track.

I believe weight gain is a symptom; a symptom of multifaceted problems.  Being a public health nurse, the reasons seem endless.  Illnesses, disease states, injuries, medications, inadequate finances, poor relationships, mental disorders, homelessness, inadequate transportation, taste preferences, cultural diversity, poor nutritional education, and the inability to cook (by a recipe) are just a few of the reasons I see for excess weight.  Some of the best success stories for weight loss that I have seen require a great deal of support-be it from family, friends, or co-workers; a large dose of determination and hard work; and lastly, the reality that to be healthy is a forever life changing event---not a diet, fad, or exercise program lasting for a few weeks/months. 

Very true, it has to be a new lifestyle or all the struggle and hard work will be a waste of time.  We see it all over, people losing the weight to only have it creep back on again.  I don't want to do that.  I am home right now with a broken ankle, have been for 4 weeks with 2 left for the cast anyway.  YOu would think that that has been a reason to indulge because of bordom, but the day I had to crawl in my house with the cast on because I couldn't pull myself up, was an eye opener to me and put me in a place, that hey, I need to do something about this and stop living in a place a delusion.  This is real.   I am so thankful that this unfortunate ankle thing has happen but it has really made me realize that today, I need to change and take control back and get strong again.  By the way, I enjoy reading all of your comments.  We are all in this together.  Praying for you all today:)

I think the root cause for a lot of weight gain is rationalization. Something we're all very, very good at. And there are lots of types of rationalization.

The first thing that happens is others will rationalize for you. There's an attitude in our culture that says you have to be in serious health trouble to justify watching your calories and really putting in effort toward weight loss. So if you gain two pounds above your favorite weight, and it takes some effort to get rid of those unwanted two pounds you'll absolutely be ridiculed and even discouraged if you admit to counting calories. If it was your bank account, and you said you were uncomfortable with the balance and wanted to watch your budget, no one would fault you for that. But somehow weight is different and others will jump in to help you rationalize it away.

Then, there's the type of rationalization where you just adapt so quickly that you don't even question it. At first those extra pounds are a little uncomfortable, but you quickly become comfortable again. First you wear the slightly larger pants more frequently than the tighter fitting pants, and next thing you know, the extra couple pounds become the norm and the tighter pants are too small.

Another type of rationalization is when you don't exactly see yourself as most other people do. The best we can do is take a good look in the mirror, but even that is distorted by our thoughts about who we think we are and what we expect to see. Maybe you're inclined to call yourself "curvy" and others might say "chunky," or the other way around. 

Emotions have nothing to do with food, at least not for me. But my own thoughts and adaptive behaviors, and the words of others definitely have had the power to sabotage me, when I let them.

I don't think you can point to one cause for everyone that puts on weight.  I love reading when people write things that it's as simple as calories in and calories out.  that makes it all about numbers (i love a good numbers problem) What happens when you have a condition that messes with the numbers out.  I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis (under active thyroid).  I have had weeks where I have stayed in the 1700-1800 calories everyday with 30 minutes of cardio for 3-4 days and GAINED weight. At close to 200lbs I should be losing something!  It's quite possibly one of the most frustrating things ever.

I'm not an emotional eater, I'm not a compulsive eater.  Yet I've put on at least 20lbs between Oct 2007 and Jan 09.

To mcharmon, I too have had a great deal of issues with trying to lose weight and keep it off my entire life. I was born preemie and after a fall off a horse when I was about 6, I then had issues with my weight. Since then I've had upwards of 25+ whiplashes. The weight gain is a symptom of likely hypothyroidism BUT unfortunately in Canada, and especially Saskatchewan, we can only have this thyroid issues dealt with by specialists and 99% of doctors learn in their education that 99% of women are hypochondriacs. I have the test results to show that my thyroid is an issue as well as other adrenals but I'm still labelled and thus I have resorted to self medicating and acupuncture when I can afford it.  I have done a lot of research at the university, online, and studied up on the issue for many years (since I was in my late teens and now I'm 45). Fibromyalgia is commonly caused from whiplash and anyone who has suffered whiplash is a likely candidate for hypothyroidism. I'm not saying that lots of people can't benefit from eating a good quality diet and exercise (I do that already - I'm allergic to 99% of food so I have no choice but to eat healthy and I can get quite down if I don't exercise), but we need to ELIMINATE the BIAS within our medical system that plots against women!!! Its interesting to note that women are often labelled as having "anxiety"  and thus their complaints about weight issues, fybromylgia, etc. are ignored and isn't it also interesting that anxiety is a common ailment of hypothyroidism!!! Maybe doctors should start doing their jobs!!!

Well, for me, emotional issues are definitely prominent with my weight.  The book "Body Fat Solution" tackles the emotional triggers to overeating and is really good.  I had read a review of it on About.com and bought it off Amazon.  The whole first half of the book deals with the psychology of overeating.  So far, it's helping me a lot.

exersize !   exersize ! exercize !,,  i'm never one 'hyper' to get at the gwm, walk the dog,wash the windows,, give me some exciting stuff to do,,, but  my life can not be filled with exciting stuff,,anless i truly make a 'major'effort,   but once i've started that exercize,walking the dog,, etc, etc,   something interesting starts taking place in my brain    !!  does someone else want to continue on with this explaination ??   my dog is waiting !!

Original Post by: howe

Perhaps the success story people arrived at a moment in their personal lives where they had dealt with their "issue" and were then prepared to move to the next level, taking steps toward a more healthy, soul-nurturing approach to themselves, and as a result they were able to embrace a different eating and activity regime?!

Wish it was me...

Wish it was me too!

I've had a weight problem since I was 12 (I'm 26 now).  In high school I lost 30 pounds with WW and then went off it and gained it all back, plus much more.

Then I did WW again and lost about 70 pounds....NOW IT'S ALL BACK AGAIN, even though I'm STILL on WW!

I don't know what to do now. Up until now WW was the only thing that worked for me. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop pigging out.  I buy healthy food, but pig out on that and still gain weight.

My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, but I feel fat and ugly and sloven.

HELP ME!

P.S. My avatar is from a year ago, when I was at a fairly decent weight.

For me, there has always been an emotional component to my eating. I'm still fighting this; it's probably the bigest challenge I face in progressing to my goals. The good thing is that now that I am fully concious of it, I can focus on it. Previously, I wasn't even aware of the fact that I was eating even when I was not even hungry. Also I was wolfing my food down so fast, that I could barely taste it. Also it's been a challenge to be kind to myself when I have a setback. There's been a lot of emotional stuff going on around food for me. The good thing is that just being aware of  this helps me.

-Jeff-

we are truly social people , you are fortunate having your boyfriend,, buttt   you could also have a 'weight lose' friend,, buddy up with someone ,, it;s what we all really need, someone  with the same problemm,,, you are not alone,, we all stand out !!   and so many would appreciate the acknowledgement to help11    looks up the local TOPS group, there is a roomfulof help,companionshipand encouragement , as well at a cost that is truly reasonable,,  $5/10  per month   I'm a true booster, but stilllooking to lose the last 10 lbsmurguy in toronto

Between Jan 07 and April 08, I lost 55 lbs. 

Then my entire life turned upside down.  I lost my job, I moved from my beautiful beach house in NC, where I lived alone, to living in one small room at my 88 y/o father's house in NJ. 

The lack of privacy, his lack of tidiness, and employment instability pushed me right into trying to soothe myself with sugar.

In the last year I have re-gained 40 lbs.  I have not been able to let go of the stress and get on with a healthy life.

Hopefully I'll deal with my "issues" and take care of myself again soon.

I can only speak for myself, but Bob Greene hit the nail on the head for me when he said, "Food becomes a coping mechanism, just like alcohol or drugs." A year ago, I was able to break the cycle of addiction to high fat/high sugar food, and began eating fewer calories (and exercising). For me, I had to learn to cope w/my emotions in healthier ways, rather than overeating. I've lost 52 lbs. in one year.

However, I don't think that every single person has a problem with emotional eating. Some of it is just mindless eating and lack of exercise. I think what many people do not realize is that it only takes a little overeating and a little "under-exercising" to cause substantial weight gain over time. The same holds true in reverse. But it takes patience to wait for the weight to come off. As they say, "you didn't gain it overnight, so don't expect to lose it overnight."

I actually realized something when I joined this site.

 I realized that the reason I started to gain weight in college was mostly because of the affect that the media had on me when it came to food. And also because of how much my friends were eating. I discovered that I am a team eater. I would watch shows where people I admired would be eating a lot of food and I would want that food. My friends would go out to eat all the time and I would go with them.

When I was living at my parents house before college I ate what they gave me and I only ate until I was full. I was skinny my entire life up until 2006. When I got married my husband and I went out to eat all the time with his family. Or whenever I'd eat with his family people would tell me they made the food so I "better have a second helping because I was too thin anyway."

I let other people and their food control me and my body got out of control.

NEVER AGAIN!  Ever since I joined here I have learned to recognize whether I am actually hungry or whether I just want the food because I saw it on TV or because everyone else is eating it. I got back to a healthy weight and I plan to stay at a healthy weight for the rest of my life. Society will not control me. It's time for me to take responsibility for my body and my eating habits.

For me, I could lose weight much easier when I was single and younger.  I am now 50, menopausal,  hypothyroid,  and a husband who does not have a weight problem and likes to eat out. 

For instance, yesterday I was careful about what I ate and had healthy meals.  Today, we went to visit someone and on the way home we stopped at a pizza buffet.  I don't have the willpower to eat only a salad at a place like that.  Sadly enough, it was my idea to eat there.  Now tomorrow I will starve myself again to lose what I gained today.

I am so sick of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe those people didn't have the same emotional attachment to food that others do.  You can't take stress out of life , but you can learn to deal with it in a more positive way.  Those of us who struggle with emotional eating are more likely to return to unhealthy habits in time of stress than those who overeat because they never learned to curb their .   Emotional eaters are  a lot like drug addicts or alcoholics.  We , in some weird and unhealthy way, think of food as our confidant, our friend, our encourager, our pacifier, our crutch.  So severing the unhealthy relationship is more difficult.  It's not impossible but challenging for us.  We have to always be more aware of the why am I eating right now than those who don't use food as a crutch.  It would be good to figure out how in the world I got here.  How is it that I have allowed a very unhealthy habit to be where I turn for comfort?  It makes no sense, but many of us find ourselves fighting this battle for years.  I often wonder if it's not a genetic weakness.  my mother was an alcoholic.  My grandfather too.  They were both thin.  My mother was a chain smoker.  My mother's alcohol consumption always increased with stress.   I think  there is a genetic tendency to over indulge in unhealthy behavior or that it's learned pattern of response.  But definitely if you are emotion eater you need to evaluate why your eating in order to be successful.

I think Bob Green's article was not one dimensional.  Yes, he said eating correctly and exercising was the way to lose weight, and it is! But he did address the medical/medication problems Oprah was having. 

For 10 years, my doctor had told me there was nothing to be done about the pain in my back, and eventually told me since the disc was bulging away from my spine, that the pain was all in my head.  Until I finally saw the right specialist and had back surgery.  It was a miracle to me, as I was off pain medication 4 days after they took bone from my hip to fuse my back--the surgery was way less painful than the pain I'd had before that confined me to a recliner day and night for the last three years of the 10 year journey.  I lost the weight I'd gained (50 lbs) naturally by being able to move and do things.

Then I had gained some weight from having to sell my home and move to an apartment where I didn't do as much yard work, and we no longer had the money for the activities I was previously doing, but that was alright, I would have eventually lost. But because of a bad heart, my doctor wanted me to quit smoking (and take a bunch of medication).  I gained 50 pounds in less than 4 months.  Talk about Oral Obsessive!  I went from sucking my thumb, to biting my fingernails, to smoking, so I'm aware of my problem.  I started smoking again and lost 32 lbs after my husband died, but smoking was keeping me from breathing so I could exercise and sing, so I quit smoking again when California increased the price of cigarettes that I couldn't afford them, but I've worked hard to at least not gain weight.  I did add 4 lbs in the first couple of weeks, but I've stayed steady for the past month. Quite a feat.

Bob Green's article was just that, a short article with no room or time to address the other things besides emotional issues, eating right, and exercise.  I'm sure he would have addressed pain issues, obsessive behaviours, and medication also if he'd written a book.

It comes down to being our own doctor/psychaitrist/investigator, and being honest with ourselves.  If medication is keeping me from losing weight, I ask my doctor if there is any other medication that might be as effective and try it instead, or cut the medication down.  I have to decide if gaining weight is going to negate the effect the medicine is having on me.  Is there a healthfood alternative to the prescribed medication?  Trial and error.  That can be time consuming.

Is the pain I have when I exercise going to get worse with the exercise? Or does exercise really help the pain in the long run? Change the exercise.  I found the Wii Fit to be working for me as I do it at my own pace, but I know also, from the exercises after back surgery, than I can exercise in bed lying down.  Even just tightening muscles and relaxing them while breathing is better than not moving at all.  Doing ANYTHING is better than doing nothing.

When I first started playing the violin after more than 20 years, I thought my fingers would fall off they hurt so bad.  My arthritis swelled and it was painful to move.  I thought I would have to give it up.  But I kept playing, and now after several months, the pain has lessened considerably.  I am learning not to give up because of pain.

My friend has fibromyalgia and rheumetoid arthritis, and she has been a wonderful example of how not to give up.  I see the pain in her face everyday, but as long as she can stand, she will walk, as long as she can move, she will do her pilates.  She uses a cane because her miniscus (?) catches on, and ropes over, the arthritis in her knee, but she still walks three miles a day.

I bemoaned what I couldn't do for so long, that I forgot to ask myself what I could do.  There's still a lot I can do.  I'm looking into the electronic non-tobacco cigarette to feed my obsessive hand to mouth problem during the last two hours before bed, that's my hardest time to keep away from non-healthy food.  I've tried carrots, celery, any crunchy stuff, but for for a lifestyle change, ie: something that I can do during those hours for the rest of my life, it doesn't seem the answer right now.  Nor does crocheting or knitting.  I guess I'll keep switching and looking until I find the answer.  It's up to me.

But thanks, Bob Green, for pointing out medication problems that might be solved, that we must keep seeking answers to medical problems that block us from living the way we should.

gee, I 'v NEVER responded to any type of this thing before, but here goes.  I really and truly feel this is a chemical thing.  You know when you are "focused" "on track" whatever you call it, no one could force an apple through your teeth if you didn't want it.  Then "SOMETHING" happens, and your are off looking back in the candy isle, or driving through the fast food lane.  If we could figure out what the "SOMETHING" is, we could ALL be thin, and someone would be very rich!

I have battled weight my entire life.  I have no idea what it is like to lose your appetite.  I am hungry all the time.  I crave salt, then I crave sugar.  I have tried every diet.  I achieved lifetime membership at Weight Watchers, only to put it all back on, and more.  My life is fine.  I am looking towards retirement.  My children are grown and sucessful.  I have had blood work, CAT, MRI, etc.  So, what is true hunger signals?  I guess I'm just crazy.

I wanted to thank nodame for your comments. I have fibromyalgia and I used to be a runner. Running was the one thing that did more for my mental and physical health than anything. Then while I was training for a marathon, I started having pain and numbness in my limbs. I went from running everyday, eating healthy by choice, to laying in bed for two months until I was diagnosed. I am now over 50 lbs overweight and really tired of feeling tired. I am going to try eating better and exercise AGAIN. It is difficult some days to accept the fibromyalgia, but to not be able to exercise like I would want to just makes me want to sit on the couch and eat ice cream. Thanks for your sound wisdom. It gives me some hope.

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Original Post by: murguy

we are truly social people , you are fortunate having your boyfriend,, buttt   you could also have a 'weight lose' friend,, buddy up with someone ,, it;s what we all really need, someone  with the same problemm,,, you are not alone,, we all stand out !!   and so many would appreciate the acknowledgement to help11    looks up the local TOPS group, there is a roomfulof help,companionshipand encouragement , as well at a cost that is truly reasonable,,  $5/10  per month   I'm a true booster, but stilllooking to lose the last 10 lbsmurguy in toronto

Please give me the link to the TOPS group....what is it?

-Amanda

P.S. Is it a Canadian thing? I'm in America, does that matter?

Amanda - TOPS stands for Take Off Pounds Sensibly, and I think they are pretty successful.  I worked with a woman in Texas in 1973 that had been going to their meetings for a couple of years and she had lost alot of weight.  And kept it off as long as I knew her. 

I have a comment about emotional eating and stress keeping you fat:

Ever notice how many women that are overweight get a divorce and THEN lose weight?  (no jokes about how many pounds did he weigh when he left lol) 

I lose weight when I am stressed.  It's the only time that food makes me sick to look at it.  I've had to move from city to city as my husband progressed up the corporate ladder, then moved again to here when he retired and every time I lost weight while I was getting ready to move, and then gained after I was in my new house and bored and I would cook fabulous meals and eat more than my share.  With desserts.  lol

I've lived here for 6 years now and I started going to Jazzercise very regularly 4 years ago.  Quit smoking at the same time, and gained some weight then, but not as much as if I had not started a real commitment to exercise at the same time.  I tried to convince myself that with enough aerobics and weight work that I could lose weight without changing my diet.  WRONG!  I loved the Jazzercise classes and I still go almost every morning.  I only miss if I have a health issue that precludes exercise. 

17 months ago my doctor told me that he wanted to check my t3 and t4 with a simple blood test, to see if my thyroid was off.  It was borderline, but since I've started taking a small thyroid pill every morning, I feel so much better.  I think I can tell a difference if I miss even one dose!  But even then, didn't lose weight.  Then last April I was browsing the Google results for weight loss and found a website that caught my eye.  It was free - nothing to join, nothing to lose but weight so I started that very minute.  3 meals a day, healthy meals and trust me after going to bed hungry just once, I made sure that I had enough protein at dinner to last me until the next morning!  No snacks.  NONE.  Not even 'healthy' ones.  I truly think the healthy snacks are what are keeping some of us fat!  The diet is called the No S diet and it's summed up in this one sentence:  No Snacks, No Sweets, No Seconds, except on Saturdays, Sundays and Special days. 

I get alot of comments like, "oh but every day is special if there is something good to eat..." (these people aren't really ready to change), or they say, "I have to eat 6 meals a day or my blood sugar drops."  (how's that working out for you then?)  Blood sugar issues are serious and should be checked out by a doctor.  Most doctors are going to say, eat less and exercise more.  I've talked to 3 doctors about this No S diet and they all say sounds like the commonsense approach, and then write it down to check it out themselves, if they are overweight and not having much luck losing.  For me, knowing that on the weekends I don't have to obsess or even think about food doesn't mean that I eat all day long.  Sometimes I forget to eat my 3 meals a day.  Sometimes I make a pan of brownies on Saturday and by Sunday night they are gone.  When I started trying to go low cal on weekends is when I plateaued.  I have dieted so much in my life, I know the calorie counts of most whole foods but portion control is what I interpret the No Seconds to mean.  It also means don't eat that half a piece of chicken that your husband or kids couldn't finish.  Waste it, or waist it!  (my new mantra.  Mother always made us clean our plates but she NEVER made us clean anyone else's!)  I read every label of any 'fun' food I put in my shopping cart.  If I multiply the number of servings times the calories in one serving and it's more than 1000, I do not buy it.  Unless it's Saturday.  lol  And anything left over on Sunday night gets eaten then, or I throw it in the trash and put coffee grounds on it, or my dh takes whatever to work the next day.  They'll eat anything there.  And most of them are overweight come to think of it...

I've lost 30# since April 1, 2008, when I decided to give it a try.  It's become a lifestyle change, and although I've had some setbacks...my weight has come off.  I'm 5'10" and started at 216.  Now I weigh 189.  At first my weight was coming off 4# a month regularly.  I plateaued after I had lost 22# and then gained 5# when I took prednisol for a knee injury in March.  I'm back to Jazz classes now, and believe me, if you have aches and pains, exercise WILL make them better.  Your endorphins kick in and sort of knocks out all the sciatica, arthritis, tendonitis...

My goal is to weigh 164# but with muscle I'm not sure what I will weigh when I'm my fat is mostly gone from on top of it.  I've been thin but never thin and toned.  TONING MAKES EVERYONE LOOK THINNER!

Put on some good dance music and just dance around the house, and if you can't walk, then boogie in your chair!  Join a Jazzercise studio if there is one near you, it's only about $35 a month here and that's for unlimited classes.  They have so many classes at the studio here that there is NO excuse for missing a class every day even if you are totally covered up with 'life stuff'.  Also, hard to worry about anything else when you are dancing.   Try water aerobics if you have issues with knees or your back, it will help more than you think it possibly could.  Ask your doctor and he probably will approve.  Most of us overweight people have bad knees.  Sometimes, losing weight fixes that.  My studio is No Mirrors, and No One Watching.  We all dance.  And whoop it up.  Sometimes the kickboxing gets intense and I have to ask the girl next to me just what is she punching? 

It really has to be a lifestyle change, not a diet per se.  One of my Jazz instructors told me something 4 years ago that has stuck in my head and now I know just how true it is:

"Whatever you do to lose weight, is what you will HAVE to do to keep it off",

so, make it easy on yourself!  If you are dieting, and exercising regularly, hold your head up and your stomach in and let them say what they may.  You are truly doing everything you can, so no guilt necessary on weekends.  On about Wednesday I start thinking about what I'm going to make when I can have it on Saturday.  NEVER buy it before Saturday morning.  (learned that the hard way.  

 If you're interested in the No S Diet (although that one sentence sums it up completely) you can Google No S Diet and the website will probably come up as the first hit.  It's the ONLY diet I've ever been on that I could imagine staying on forever.  It's a whole lot like how we ate when I was growing up.  3 meals and dessert after Sunday dinner.  and I was always a thin child...  And that's all I have to say about it except Good luck to all of us! 

{{{}}}KSh in OKC

That might work for some people, but in Weight Watchers they say not to deprive yourself of snacks.

The thing is, it DID work for me when I actually stuck to it.

But now I just get so hungry it's like my hunger says "keep eating!"

I'm sick of being overweight! But I don't know what else to do. 

Every time I lose weight I always gain it back. 

Maybe I should move to an island in Greece like in Mamma Mia!

I could swim all year round (my favorite exercise) and maybe that'll keep me in shape! Lol.

I am gonna check out TOPS, though.

-Amanda

Amanda,  if you eat more protein you'll keep from getting hungry so soon.  Eating high-fiber foods will also stay with you longer.  My breakfast is 315 calories:  Double Fiber English Muffin (delicioso) with a sunny side up egg, piece of  American (real) cheese and 3 slices of Oscar Mayer pre-sliced Honey Ham.  25g of protein and 15g dietary fiber, and it keeps me from thinking about food from 8:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and I'm in a Jazzercise class from 9:30 until 10:30.

Hope the TOPS helps.  If it doesn't then you might want to try the No S Diet and count your calories.  If you're hungry all the time, something is WRONG. 

Good luck!

{{}}KSh

p.s. I've always said if I moved to Greece I would lose alot of weight because I really can't stand Greek food  lol

Amanda,  if you eat more protein you'll keep from getting hungry so soon.  Eating high-fiber foods will also stay with you longer.  My breakfast is 315 calories:  Double Fiber English Muffin (delicioso) with a sunny side up egg, piece of  American (real) cheese and 3 slices of Oscar Mayer pre-sliced Honey Ham.  25g of protein and 15g dietary fiber, and it keeps me from thinking about food from 8:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and I'm in a Jazzercise class from 9:30 until 10:30.

Hope the TOPS helps.  If it doesn't then you might want to try the No S Diet and count your calories.  If you're hungry all the time, something is WRONG. 

Good luck!

{{}}KSh

p.s. I've always said if I moved to Greece I would lose alot of weight because I really can't stand Greek food  lol

Amanda,  if you eat more protein you'll keep from getting hungry so soon.  Eating high-fiber foods will also stay with you longer.  My breakfast is 315 calories:  Double Fiber English Muffin (delicioso) with a sunny side up egg, piece of  American (real) cheese and 3 slices of Oscar Mayer pre-sliced Honey Ham.  25g of protein and 15g dietary fiber, and it keeps me from thinking about food from 8:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and I'm in a Jazzercise class from 9:30 until 10:30.

Hope the TOPS helps.  If it doesn't then you might want to try the No S Diet and count your calories.  If you're hungry all the time, something is WRONG. 

Good luck!

{{}}KSh

p.s. I've always said if I moved to Greece I would lose alot of weight because I really can't stand Greek food  lol

I think that lifestyle has a lot to do with our weight.  I was very unhappy with my current job and over the past 2 1/2 years I gained about 40 lbs.  In March of this year I started trying to lose weight, but it was coming off very slow and I could not figure out what was going on.  About 3 weeks ago, I quit my job, just out of the blue because I was so unhappy, I did not realize that I had been emotionally eating for the past 2 1/2 years because I was unhappy at work....I have since started counting my calories, walking for one hour everyday and I have lost 7 lbs in the last 3 weeks and I feel very happy in my life.....I have decided that this new way of eating and exercising for me will be a life change, not just a temporary weight loss fix.

Recently i am reading the book from Dr. OZ, "you on a diet" ... this book analyzed the exact mechanism of the body how to store fat ...

the point that i understood, stress has the same impact on our bodies as flood, earth quick and starvation had impact on our ancestors.... it means that our bodies gene learned to store fat during crisis ... so many years ago the crisis were not having enough food and ..  but now the crisis for us is having stress at work, life, relationships ...

So as long as we do count our fat intakes to our body and take care of that, we can manage our crisis better....

Therefore, i believe that emotions are strongly effecting our weight gain and loss...

I think there are many causes for weight gain. Some people are affected by only one of them and some struggle with a few of them. I find food addicting, I also eat when I'm emotional and I eat when I'm bored. It's a three way battle, but what it comes down to at least is that it's not impossible to win. <3