They aren't ugly just because they don't look like you!

I am getting really sick of people constantly telling us that skinny is beautiful! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and different people see different types as what they deem to be 'perfect' and that is fine but when someone turns around and says 'your fat' (translated to ' Your ugly because you don't look like me') and bullies you into an insecure state of mind in which you feel you need to lose weight to be part of our society i think people have gone too far!

Its more and more apparent in kids who hang out on the street or in school and bully other kids. i was bullied at age 11 for being overweight...for christ sake why would an 11 year old care about how she or he looks! But it took its toll and i lost all the weight and granted im happier in myself but im never happy enough because its stuck with me. no matter how skinny i become im never happy because in the back of my mind all i hear is the taunts from the school boys. Even now i have 12/13 year old girls and boy coming up to me saying im fat....im 18 and i have someone x amount of years younger then me telling me how i should look?

If you have any children that are being bullied for being fat, PLEASE dont encourage them to lose weight, if they want to do it on their own accord by all means but if you get pushed into losing weight you have no idea of the psychological damage it has to you in the long run. The damage you cause by being rude to people about how they look is unimaginable and to people who have never been in that position where someone has said something hurtful they couldn't even comprehend how it makes you feel.

Most children today are horrible creatures and even though everyone is their own person but alot of the times its the parents that influence a child at such a young age and then there friends. Is there really nothing we can do about this madness?

Original Post by bigbitty:

What a pity party!!! People used to try to mess with me over my weight, and  I talked about them right back. I don't know what universe people are from really, where they just let people step all over them. Seriously, those little snot nosed loser kids who wanted to start something, got something when they messed with me, and I dare a skinny man or woman to come up to me and disrespect me. I DARE THEM...

I think a lot of people need to grow a pair, so to speak, stop letting people friggin traumatize you, especially ridiculous, retarded, underweight, undernourished, freaks who have 0 social skills. HAHA

I serioulsy don't understand how people can be alright with being stepped on all of their lives.

Fight for your honour.

 Clearly you have never been the target of real bullying.  When there are ten other kids and one of you, you don't stand a chance in a physical fight.  And nobody intervenes when ten kids are going after one.  Because they don't want it to turn into ten vs. two.

Quite an interesting topic.  This is my own opinion but I believe that some of the things I see parents doing around me to their children borders on child abuse.  Some of the **** I see parents giving to their kids day in and day out, isn't even food, it's just plain crap.  So many parents are so concerned about keeping their kids "happy" and just giving them what they want instead of what they need, it just makes me sick sometimes.  These poor kids. 

That aside, I think the focus for anyone, child or adult, should always be on eating healthy and nutrition for a strong, healthy body.   Learning to eat right, engage in regular activity should be lifelong goals.  Do that, and the weight will work it self out all on it's own.   It's not inaccurate to say that the heavier you are, the unhealthier you are, it's undeniable, but putting the focus on eating better foods and exercising, which is the journey, as opposed to the destination of a desirable weight, I think is a more successful approach.  I've seen it work in my own life and in those around me.

I have always, ALWAYS been bullied. My first memories of being picked on was when I was 4 years old. The kindergarten kids never played with me, never shared the crayons, and always destroyed all my sculptures at the sandbox.

Of course, it got worse than that. Now Im on 8th grade, and have experienced bullying in maybe all forms possible. Being called "fat, ugly, retard, cripple", being trhown with rocks and snowballs, always been the one left without a pair, and the list goes on... I WAS almost obese until last February. I was 14, 5'2 and 155 lbs. Do the math. The result was an ED. And what is even more disturbing is that NOW when I have been in and out of hospitals, very anemic and underweight, NOW the boys are calling me hot, NOW Im getting friends and nice words. No-one EVER would come to me and make friends when I was fat. I just went to a new school and Im actually pretty popular here... But I think I'll never be able to feel good about myself. No matter how thin I would be, I feel like the fat girl. Bullying is serious.

And no, it was NOT judgemental... Kids ARE usually little monsters.

Amen! I was teased in grade school, and it hurt my feelings- by the time i got to junior high, then high school, i learned to be just as snotty as the people making remarks- i remember one time some girl was behind me, saying how fat i was.. i remember telling her.. " i may be fat, but i know i look better than you.. I can always lose weight and you will still be ugly" it was funny, i thought. even her friends snickered a bit- i don't think that girl bothered to make any remarks again!

Original Post by susiecue:

Original Post by bigbitty:

What a pity party!!! People used to try to mess with me over my weight, and I talked about them right back. I don't know what universe people are from really, where they just let people step all over them. Seriously, those little snot nosed loser kids who wanted to start something, got something when they messed with me, and I dare a skinny man or woman to come up to me and disrespect me. I DARE THEM...

I think a lot of people need to grow a pair, so to speak, stop letting people friggin traumatize you, especially ridiculous, retarded, underweight, undernourished, freaks who have 0 social skills. HAHA

I serioulsy don't understand how people can be alright with being stepped on all of their lives.

Fight for your honour.

Clearly you have never been the target of real bullying. When there are ten other kids and one of you, you don't stand a chance in a physical fight. And nobody intervenes when ten kids are going after one. Because they don't want it to turn into ten vs. two.

Bullying is in no way always physical, and to assume that emotional bullying does not cause as much (if not more) psychological damage than its physical counterpart would be extremely shortsighted. In fact I wouldn't be suprised if most people on this board are referencing instances of emotionally bullying.

I agree, some kids will find ANYTHING to tease you about and use it. I was never the "fat kid" in class, however through middle school, and particularily grade 8, I was teased horribly by several boys because I had raging acne.  In addition, I decided one day to cut my hair short, and all of a sudden I was a lesbian too (nothing against lesbians, it just wasn't true...somehow this carried into high school as well). That year emotionally crippled me more than anything else I went through between the years of 12 and 17, but I learned to stand up for myself and fight back, and I feel I am a much stronger person for it now.  I will try and put what bigbitty said into less emotional, more rational words: of course kids need to know how to defend themselves! They do, however, also need to know WHEN to defend themselves and WHEN not to, so they don't end up physically hurt. 

It just seems to me that being overly consumed with terrible things that happened to you int he past (and I emphasize terrible, since some of the stories you folks have shared seem just horrific) can't be healthy...

Original Post by kckstrt:

Original Post by susiecue:

Original Post by bigbitty:

What a pity party!!! People used to try to mess with me over my weight, and I talked about them right back. I don't know what universe people are from really, where they just let people step all over them. Seriously, those little snot nosed loser kids who wanted to start something, got something when they messed with me, and I dare a skinny man or woman to come up to me and disrespect me. I DARE THEM...

I think a lot of people need to grow a pair, so to speak, stop letting people friggin traumatize you, especially ridiculous, retarded, underweight, undernourished, freaks who have 0 social skills. HAHA

I serioulsy don't understand how people can be alright with being stepped on all of their lives.

Fight for your honour.

Clearly you have never been the target of real bullying. When there are ten other kids and one of you, you don't stand a chance in a physical fight. And nobody intervenes when ten kids are going after one. Because they don't want it to turn into ten vs. two.

 

Bullying is in no way always physical, and to assume that emotional bullying does not cause as much (if not more) psychological damage than its physical counterpart would be extremely shortsighted. In fact I wouldn't be suprised if most people on this board are referencing instances of emotionally bullying.

 

I agree, some kids will find ANYTHING to tease you about and use it. I was never the "fat kid" in class, however through middle school, and particularily grade 8, I was teased horribly by several boys because I had raging acne.  In addition, I decided one day to cut my hair short, and all of a sudden I was a lesbian too (nothing against lesbians, it just wasn't true...somehow this carried into high school as well). That year emotionally crippled me more than anything else I went through between the years of 12 and 17, but I learned to stand up for myself and fight back, and I feel I am a much stronger person for it now.  I will try and put what bigbitty said into less emotional, more rational words: of course kids need to know how to defend themselves! They do, however, also need to know WHEN to defend themselves and WHEN not to, so they don't end up physically hurt. 

 

It just seems to me that being overly consumed with terrible things that happened to you int he past (and I emphasize terrible, since some of the stories you folks have shared seem just horrific) can't be healthy...

Haha, it often was threats of physical violence, they were often other people involved. What I think that you aren't taking from what I said is that if you see yourself as a VICTIM, they will EAT you alive.

They see you as an easy target, who wont defend yourself. If I didn't defend myself, maybe I would have endured a lot more bullying. You have to make it clear DAY 1, that you are not to be messed with.

Sometimes, people are treated badly, you cannot avoid it, but you can learn from it, become stronger. Because if you wallow in it, and hold onto those terrible things that may have happened to you in your life, you will never escape them, and those thigns become patterns, the payers are different, the situations are different, but the feelings are the same.

You cannot always be a victim. It was a victim mentalilty (under different circumstances) that got me to this weight. I was VERY HEALTHY, and active, and when I got pregnant it was all "poor me" I'm pregnant in a foreign country, wheres my family, my friends are busy, had my husband tending to me, and the weight piled on.

It wasn't until I finally got past it, and realised that I am not a victim, that I was able to make a real change. Start taking responsibility for my actions. Start making progress.

So whether its a bully or a bagel, get over it. move on, show them whose boss. It doesn't have to end in an office death match, but Im pretty sure all of you can defend yourself in SOME way, tell them whats what. Or you will continue having the same problems.

Original Post by siobhansleepy:

Unfortunately, from what I see in my high school, many people have fallen prey to media. The freshman class looks insanely starved... the counselor actually pulled the girls out of class once to lecture them on proper eating habits (eating disorders are rampant). What doesn't help at all is that most of the guys at my school encourage this behavior: going out with or commenting that only skinny girls are hot.

Perhaps it's just the freshman/sophomore class along with a couple pervy junior/senior boys, but that's the outlook for the school. Fortunately I found a guy who thinks ribs are gross. =D

Oh, now that is just sad...

I feel very sorry for those girls.  The boys deserve to be slapped.

I know that in ancient times, such as the era the Greek gods are set in, it was seen as a sign of wealth to have meat on your bones and a glow of health.  Fat girls were favored over the ill-looking, starved, poor girls.

I think those Greeks had it the right way.  If you've ever notices even Athena is a little "pudgy".

I grew up in the 60's and 70's and I was a chubby kid in an era when chubby was rare and being truly obese was almost non-existant in children.  I don't recall any girls ever making fun of me but boys tried.   I wouldn't take it though.  I fought quite a bit in public school and some in high school, sometimes for some kid trying to make jokes at my expense because I was a few pounds overweight.  At first I'd ignore them or laugh along but if it continued I'd warn them to knock it off and if it persisted the game was on.   In the group of kids I hung out with, no one ever went looking for a fight or initiated anything, but if someone came your way, you took them on.   

That's the way it was back then.  I recall a lot of kids that got teased about various things but I don't recall any of them cowering in a corner or running home crying.   Kids stood up for themselves, we fought, we talked back, we yelled a lot, we told teachers etc.  In other words, we resolved our problems in the school or on the field or in some kind of organized fight or contest.   We didn't rely on the school, or the law, or our Mommy's and Daddy's to resolve things, we figured them out ourselves.   I think we are better off because of it and this whole modern way of thinking that we can solve our kid's problems for them by creating laws and sheltering them from the real world just doesn't work. 

i know!!! i mean did anyone see how horrible they were to jessica simpson when she put on weight? i thought she looked great and really healthy.

Original Post by hannahmcc:

I am getting really sick of people constantly telling us that skinny is beautiful! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and different people see different types as what they deem to be 'perfect' and that is fine but when someone turns around and says 'your fat' (translated to ' Your ugly because you don't look like me') and bullies you into an insecure state of mind in which you feel you need to lose weight to be part of our society i think people have gone too far!

Its more and more apparent in kids who hang out on the street or in school and bully other kids. i was bullied at age 11 for being overweight...for christ sake why would an 11 year old care about how she or he looks! But it took its toll and i lost all the weight and granted im happier in myself but im never happy enough because its stuck with me. no matter how skinny i become im never happy because in the back of my mind all i hear is the taunts from the school boys. Even now i have 12/13 year old girls and boy coming up to me saying im fat....im 18 and i have someone x amount of years younger then me telling me how i should look?

If you have any children that are being bullied for being fat, PLEASE dont encourage them to lose weight, if they want to do it on their own accord by all means but if you get pushed into losing weight you have no idea of the psychological damage it has to you in the long run. The damage you cause by being rude to people about how they look is unimaginable and to people who have never been in that position where someone has said something hurtful they couldn't even comprehend how it makes you feel.

Most children today are horrible creatures and even though everyone is their own person but alot of the times its the parents that influence a child at such a young age and then there friends. Is there really nothing we can do about this madness?

AMEN SISTA!
~H~

I might be a little dense on this subject but how is saying something like,

"some people are just so skinny they look like spiders, its disgusting"   

any different than making fun of or criticizing people because they are overweight?   Are "skinny" people somehow an ok target because they aren't fat and therefore should be able to take it?  How is saying someone looks like a spider and is "disgusting" any better than saying someone looks like a pig and is "disgusting".  If you said that about someone overweight people in this group and most others would be all over you, but somehow it's ok to do this about "skinny" people?

Looks like a case of the pot calling the kettle black to me.  How about we just encourage people to get to a healthy weight and leave it at that, and leave out the negative comments and opinions entirely, about how you feel about skinny/fat people?  Yes we are all entitled to our opinions and how often is that statement held up as some kind of defense to enable people to say whatever they want to say, regardless how it makes someone feel, like calling someone who is skinny a disgusting spider like creature? 

This site is supposed to be about healthy eating and getting to a state of good healthy weight for each individual and we should all keep that in mind when we are expressing our "opinions", about skinny, fat or any other kind of person.

Original Post by kckstrt:

Original Post by susiecue:

Original Post by bigbitty:

What a pity party!!! People used to try to mess with me over my weight, and I talked about them right back. I don't know what universe people are from really, where they just let people step all over them. Seriously, those little snot nosed loser kids who wanted to start something, got something when they messed with me, and I dare a skinny man or woman to come up to me and disrespect me. I DARE THEM...

I think a lot of people need to grow a pair, so to speak, stop letting people friggin traumatize you, especially ridiculous, retarded, underweight, undernourished, freaks who have 0 social skills. HAHA

I serioulsy don't understand how people can be alright with being stepped on all of their lives.

Fight for your honour.

Clearly you have never been the target of real bullying. When there are ten other kids and one of you, you don't stand a chance in a physical fight. And nobody intervenes when ten kids are going after one. Because they don't want it to turn into ten vs. two.

 

Bullying is in no way always physical, and to assume that emotional bullying does not cause as much (if not more) psychological damage than its physical counterpart would be extremely shortsighted. In fact I wouldn't be suprised if most people on this board are referencing instances of emotionally bullying.

 

I never said it was.  I said that somebody who thinks that all bullying can be dealt with by threatening back doesn't "get" how bad bullying can get.  I wasn't someone who could be messed with by one or two people - so they came back with more.