What are they feeding their kids?

First, I apologize if this isn't in the right forum - I couldn't find anywhere that seemed more appropriate.

Second, this is NOT about me judging obese kids. I was a chubby kid, I can't judge the kids.

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Let me preface by saying that I work with children age 4-12, doing basically educational workshops on different subjects ranging from harder subjects like politics and history, art and paleontology to lighter stuff like easter and Mother's Day. I see a LOT of kids every week and very often, I'm in charge of them and have to eat lunch with them.

Every. single. time... I'm just HORRIFIED by what these kids have in their lunch boxes. For every healthy lunch, you have 20 of them with multiple desserts (ex: today, a kid has a 6-inch sandwich with a lot of cheese, bologna and pepperoni, with a chocolate bar, a chocolate-covered granola bar, a small bag of gummies, two bearpaws and chocolate milk. That's not unusual, all the lunches pretty much look like that).

Not all of the kids are fat, or even overweight, but I have to admit about half of them aren't anywhere near healthy and MANY are overweight. They're out of breath, they can't concentrate at all.  It scares me that this is the kind of nutrition parents are teaching their kids, and the eating habits they'll carry on beyond their childhood, when their metabolism slows down.

I'm looking at my own experience and my mother was feeding me healthy food - veggies, fruits, minimal amount of fast food. Portion control was my problem, but I'm looking at kids who are both eating bad stuff and too much of it, and it's making me so fearful for them in the future. And it saddens me, because their parents benefited from education about nutrition (I know, I'm only a few years younger than their parents are, and I did get that education from books that were at least a decade old), and they are obviously not caring very much.

I'm irked at food commercials like the one for that Toaster Streudle thing.  "The ones kids will eat"  Like parents should want their kids to eat that junk.  Who in their right mind would give a child a pop tart for breakfast or a snack?  It's insane. 

I've read about a few school lunch programs that give children healthy meals of locally grown foods, but they are few and far between.  The cafeteria with a kitchen is gone - now it's all pre packaged and heated up.  Kids that pack their lunches have, as you say, the worst combinations imaginable.  How hard is it to make a whole grain sandwich and pack a few carrot sticks and a piece of fruit?  And what ever happened to milk as a beverage?

It's not just the packed lunches either. My school offers candy bars, sodas, chips, and even has a soft serve ice cream machine- separate from the regular lunch line.

It is sad.

This feels like the perfect place to vent my own frustrations.  Growing up my sister and I were very heavy.  By the time we were each in Jr. High we both weighed over 200 pounds and when I was in high school I weighed around 250.  Both my parents were over weight as well but they really tried to teach us to eat healthy, however at lunch time I'd take whatever money I had and get junk food.  At my heaviest I tipped the scales at 271.  In 2004 both my parents were diagnosed with diabetes and this scared me enough to to start getting the weight off.

In one year I was able to drop 110 pounds and my sister and parents were very proud but I still wasn't able to inspire my sister to lose along with me.  In 2005 my sister was diagnosed with diabetes and she had reached almost 300 pounds.  Instead of trying to lose weight she sought out a doctor that would approve her for gastric bypass surgery.  She had the surgery and has since lost 90 pounds in 1 and a half years but her eating habits have not changed.  She still eats awful, high calorie and high fat foods.  But I have resided to the fact that I cannot help someone who is not willing to take my help.  But what has really got me is that she allows my 5 year old nephew to eat the same crap food.  Knowing how it was growing up as the fat kid you would think she wouldn't want the same childhood for her son along with the health problems and risks that will be a part of his future.

Every time he hears the ice cream man she'll give him money for an ice cream sandwich that he'll eat before dinner and then he doesn't want to eat the nutritious dinner my parents will prepare.  My brother in law will buy him a cheeseburger and fries from hamburger joints and not the kids meal size - ADULT portions.  He eats donuts for breakfasts,  a hot dog for a snack after school, and the list goes on.  It breaks my heart not only to see him as a chubby 5 year old but to know what his future is going to be.  My sister is very sensitive so after I mentioned something one time to her she was very offended and I haven't brought it up again.  I hate seeing it in my nephew and other overweight young children, it really breaks my heart to know their fate.

I think a part of it must be activity level though. I ate mostly junk food as a kid too, and I was never even close to overweight. But I also played every sport possible, and I was always outside running around or racing around on my bike. I was eating adult-sized portions as well. My parents worked more than full-time hours, so breakfast was some sugary cereal or a Pop Tart, and dinner was either takeout or at a restaurant. I think I had fairly typical kid tastes - hated vegetables, hated any bread but white bread, always eating chips, cookies, candy, drinking soda.

Actually, my brother still eats like that, but he still plays ball every day.

Although I do have to say that the sample lunch in the OP seems pretty overloaded for a single meal.

This honestly makes me sad. We are just setting our kids up for poor health and low self-esteem. There's no reason for a kid to have a lunch with that many snacks in it. It may make him happy at the moment, but it will hurt him eventually.

Skennell79 - I'm glad you said something to your sister. She may have been offended but if she didn't realize before what she is doing, at least she is aware now. You did the right thing by bringing it to her attention. Your nephew's lifelong health is at stake. Your sister will get over your passing of judgment (as she may see it). Hopefully, she will make some changes and thank you later.

My son's school (UK primary) sends home suggestions to parents on suitable lunchbox items and polices the contents.  There were some complaints from parents originally that is was 'political correctness gone mad', 'nanny state' etc.  But most people now comply.  My son goes along with home-made sandwiches, a yoghurt, a cereal bar and a piece of fruit... it's plenty.  There are cooked lunches offered at school as well and they have to conform to fairly strict national, nutritional guidelines.  I'm happy the kids at our school, at least, are getting good advice and being encouraged to form healthy eating habits.

I wonder if it is all about the food and the amounts kids eat. I think that the emotional state that a lot of people are in contributes more to weight problems than they can imagine. An (emotionally) balanced person does not have the need to overeat or drug him/herself with sugar and fat. Food is a very good way to fill an emotional gap in your life. This is not just book talk but I've experienced it myself.

That is why you can lose weight but still gain it all back (and more) if you do not address the reason why you ate in the first place. All major life change starts in the heart and the mind and not on your plate.

Kids (and grown ups as well) can handle food much better (and do not need as much sugar and stuff) when they learn how to like themselves. Address the insecurity, fear and sadness and they will rather go out and play than hide and eat. 

Parents will have to learn that they cannot quiet their own emotional gap by giving sweets and other crap to their kids. 40 years ago you got a sweet or a kiss if you fell on your knee, now you get a handful of sweets (if not more) to make up for the time that they feel they should be there but can't because they have to work or are not (emotionally) available for other reasons.

This is not an attack to parents but more a call to not only focus on their overweight kid but also on themselves because the kids do not go to the supermarket

Jo

Original Post by mars_0112:

It's not just the packed lunches either. My school offers candy bars, sodas, chips, and even has a soft serve ice cream machine- separate from the regular lunch line.

It is sad.

 THIS is what scares me the most.  You can teach your kids the healthiest habits and feed them all the right foods at home, but as soon as they get out in the world it's EVERYWHERE, and guess what?  It tastes better.  It won't take long for them to figure out that sugar and fat and grease is numnums.  Then they will find ways to get it.  Banning everything unhealthy from the house can lead to hoarding-type behavior, secretive eating, binge eating sweets because they very rarely get it. 

So what do you do?!  How can you find a balance?

gi-jane,

My son's school sent home the same thing, unfortunately they don't take their own heed. The junk they give for lunch I feel is very unhealthy. Three days out of the week it's processed chicken garbage and every other week they are giving breakfast for lunch. To me when I received the letter I wasn't angry about letting us know what kind of healthy stuff to send (though in my opinion those sending their kids crap aren't going to change over a letter from school).

Now I'll rant about the crap the parents bring in for holidays and celebrations.  I can't tell you how many times my son has had a stomache ache from the crap the PTA gives our kids when it's the holidays. This year they were making Easter baskets at school (which honesty I felt was ridiculous on several grounds - because we live in an area that has several religions and I know one of the kids couldn't participate, another reason is that the kids are already getting a bunch of junk for Easter why increase that). Any way I was the boring parent who sent in an activity book because I knew the amount of junk that was going to be sent home. Stuff I wouldn't even put in my own son's basket for Easter! I mean come on! What's funny is the PTA also sends home every week a healthy food list! Ugh! Parents complain about it (including me) but nothing is ever done but them sending home the darn letters! We were told at the beginning of this year no more junk food and I was truly happy because of what happened last year:

My son was coming home and going to school throwing up. The nurse was calling me everyday. Finally one morning my son wouldn't stop throwing up. Finally I found out that he was getting picked on on the bus. I spoke to the principal and the school counselor and the counselor spoke to my son and the bus driver moved the boy (who apparently was picking on all the little kids). Anyway, a few days after all this came out I got a call from the nurse that my son had thown up again. She started getting into me about being a bad parent and that my son needed to talk to the school counselor because she knew something was up. I explained to her calmly that I had spoken to both and we had figured out the problem. I said he must be sick this time. He gets home and what do I find out. They had pizza and a bunch of junk food right before lunch!! Ooooh I was angry! So he had all this junk right before lunch and then ate lunch! I'm surprised my son was the only one vomitting! I called the nurse and put her in her place for not questioning all he had ate that day and wrote the teacher and said next time there was going to be a party I wanted to be notified because I would not send him with lunch if they were going to have such a party before. I also spoke to my son about watching what he eats when not around me. I did get a big appology letter from the teacher and she said she had not realized that they were going to have all of what they had. The teachers then said that the PTA had to notify them of what was going to be brought so the teachers could be informed.

So anyway even after the "no junk food" for parties clause, the PTA and other parents ignored it and continued to send junk. How can those of us that are trying their best to raise healthy kids keep them healthy if this kind of things happens? It is very frustrating and sorry to vent so much but this is something that does get me on my soapbox.

I grew up in a family that served up healthy food, and all my friends were the same (I'm turning 22 in a week). We all had yoghurts, sandwiches, fruit and raisins in our lunchboxes. I remember one friend having junk food, but she was the odd one out. At home we had at least three vegetables with every meal. I think sometimes our portions at dinner were too large, but at least it was nutritious. We only had brown bread - no choices - and I learned to like veges because I was eating them all the time. Hearing these stories makes me pretty grateful for the upbringing I had!

Most of the high schools in NZ had tuck shops but nowhere had a canteen where everybody ate their lunch, so we all brought ours from home. And that was generally more sandwiches, yoghurts and fruit... just what we were used to. I can't imagine the junk-shop canteens I've heard of in the States existing in NZ anytime soon. Thank God!

Original Post by huggitbear:

So what do you do?!  How can you find a balance?

It's called 'education'...  The world is a big scary place with much worse hazards in it than junk food.  As parents, a big part of what we do is to teach our children about the hazards and how to avoid them or handle them carefully. Everything from crossing a street safely to not bothering large dogs to being wary of strangers...  it's all in the job description

Some things deserve to have a thoroughly scary back-story ('these will kill you')and outright ban... cigarettes, drugs.  You're not going to help a child much by showing them how to do heroin in moderation...     But things like junk food and arguably alcohol need a different approach.  Kids aren't stupid.  If your family is the only one that never eats chocolate they'll smell a rat.    You can set a good example, show them how these things are fine in moderation, explain what happens if you over-indulge, that kind of thing.  Someone mentioned the emotional side of things.  Yet another job that parents have is to instill some confidence in their children, make them feel loved and secure & encourage them to be intelligent thinkers rather than automatically follow the crowds of morons over the cliff-edge in an effort to be liked.  So when they're eventually responsible for themselves they'll have a fighting chance of making better decisions. 

That's how you find a balance.   Doesn't mean it'll work 100% of the time and, whatever you do, children have an annoying habit of wanting to blame their parents either way...   but it's about as good as it gets.

This kind of stuff really upsets me.

* As a parent, one is supposed to be responsible for the childs well-being. Giving that child unhealthy food can cause health problems, and emotional problems as well.

* You're also setting your child up for bad habits that are only going to get hard to break over the years. 

I have a little sister and it drives me CRAZY when my parents re-enforce the eating habits she learned from them! My sister (11) is quite thin. Your average string-bean adolescent. She never eats breakfast, snacks on junk food all day, and then will have, MAYBE 3 bites of our dinner. Of course, since she's "the baby" and "mommy/daddies little angel" she gets to clear her plate. 

Anyhow, perhaps since you work in a school program, you could have a day of health education? Spring is here, maybe you could let the kids go outside and run around. 

i'm not a parent yet, but i think about this stuff all the time!

growing up we had high fat, high calorie home cooked family meals with pretty big portions.  junk food and soda was always in the house.  we didn't eat much fast food, but that's the only positive thing.  my mom insisted on me drinking whole milk even though i preferred skim.  i stopped being a healthy weight at age 7 or 8, and when i was thin, my mom yelled at me for not eating enough.  my doctor constantly tried to put me on a diet and kept giving my mom meal plans and other diet suggestions.  we'd come home with that info and i'd be all excited because even at age 9 i knew i wanted to lose the weight.  but as soon as we got home she said that the diet wasn't healthy and that it was better if i just kept eating the way i had been eating.  yeah.  my dad never had any input in my diet.  he just left it all up to my mom.

my mom was also a bad yo-yo dieter.  right now she's supposedly counting calories, but she pretty much gave up after a week.  me?  i'm down 13 pounds after counting for a month and a half.  my brother eats a crappy diet and is sedentary, but i guess he's got a high metabolism or something.  he's so thin that his doctor actually thought he had an ED and wasn't eating enough.  growing up my mom used to get so upset because he was so thin.  she had huge screaming fits yelling at him to eat.

wow...  after writing this i have come to realize just how messed up my mom's relationship with food is.  it makes me really glad that i'm the "rebellious" daughter who thinks for herself.  there's no way i'm gonna put my kids through that.  i feel bad blaming my mom for my eating habits though.  i could have done more at least as a teenager.  after all, i am the rebellious one!

The Maury show today is about obese children, one kid 4 yrs old weighs 113. The parents don't see why they are so overweight. Even though all the eat is junk food, fast food etc. I think it has a lot to do with people not being educated in nutrition. I mean some of the portions these kids get are outrageous!!!! Like more then I should eat in a day. It is probably one of the things I find the saddest, to see these small children already so obese and knowing pretty much how kids will treat them and that that can't run around and play like they could at a healthy weight.

Original Post by huggitbear:

Original Post by mars_0112:

It's not just the packed lunches either. My school offers candy bars, sodas, chips, and even has a soft serve ice cream machine- separate from the regular lunch line.

It is sad.

 THIS is what scares me the most.  You can teach your kids the healthiest habits and feed them all the right foods at home, but as soon as they get out in the world it's EVERYWHERE, and guess what?  It tastes better.  It won't take long for them to figure out that sugar and fat and grease is numnums.  Then they will find ways to get it.  Banning everything unhealthy from the house can lead to hoarding-type behavior, secretive eating, binge eating sweets because they very rarely get it. 

So what do you do?!  How can you find a balance?

I think the best thing a parent can do is just ignore food.  My parents made such a big deal out of serving sizes and not eating "bad" food that I got really obsessive about when I could "eat" for real.  I hoarded, and would get whatever I could when they weren't around or went out.  Even though I knew they would yell at me for eating when they got back.  And this was just because I was a little chubby as a youngster. (I'm literally talking like 8 years old, some of my oldest memories of my parents are of being nicely told to stand straight so my tummy doesn't stick out, or carefully measuring out a tiny bowl of tortilla chips, or being sternly instructed not to eat at a friend's house.)

Yes make healthy meals, keep most sweets out of the house, but don't make it a priority in your kid's life, or ya know, it's going to become his/her PRIORITY.

I think the best thing a parent can do is just ignore food.  My parents made such a big deal out of serving sizes and not eating "bad" food that I got really obsessive about when I could "eat" for real.  I hoarded, and would get whatever I could when they weren't around or went out.  Even though I knew they would yell at me for eating when they got back.  And this was just because I was a little chubby as a youngster. (I'm literally talking like 8 years old, some of my oldest memories of my parents are of being nicely told to stand straight so my tummy doesn't stick out, or carefully measuring out a tiny bowl of tortilla chips, or being sternly instructed not to eat at a friend's house.)

Yes make healthy meals, keep most sweets out of the house, but don't make it a priority in your kid's life, or ya know, it's going to become his/her PRIORITY.

I totally agree with this. I think the best thing to do is not buy any junk or sweets, and only keep the house packed with good foods. Don't ever focus on why something is BAD, but focus more on WHY the good foods are good! Emphasize the healthy, downplay or ignore the bad. The kids might question why certain foods are never in the house - just say "Because this is what we eat, HERE. The foods we eat here are more healthy and nutritious" etc etc.  I don't think it's a huge deal to let the kid eat birthday cake at someone else's house, or have a little bit of junk food at school (though I MEAN a little bit - I don't mean let them eat the crappy lunches every day! THAT is an issue that must be fixed. It just can't be this way any longer.), but let them know that in your house, only the good stuff will fly. I think making something taboo, in it's entirety, only makes the kids rebel and want it more.

I know what you guys mean.  I grew up a very picky eater and am determined to make sure my son is not.  While he takes a sandwich most days it is always made with whole wheat bread and has tomatoes and spinach on it.  I will toss in a granola bar and such every now and then but he always has grapes, edamames (sp?), or cuke and tomato salad as well.  Obvoiusly, I let him have some treats sometimes too, but he will come home and tell me about the kids who only have "junk" in their lunchbox and it lets me know I am doing something right! 

having taught elementary school, the answer is quite simple:

- wealthier families sent cut up fruits and veggies with their kids

- less wealthy families packed junk food - which is obviously cheaper than fresh produce

i made this observation in different schools in different income level neighborhoods

the staff room is pretty horrible too - fridays its usually full of coffee cakes, donuts, dips, chips, pizza. almost all the teachers were overweight. 

Original Post by kishmish:

having taught elementary school, the answer is quite simple:

- wealthier families sent cut up fruits and veggies with their kids

- less wealthy families packed junk food - which is obviously cheaper than fresh produce

i made this observation in different schools in different income level neighborhoods

the staff room is pretty horrible too - fridays its usually full of coffee cakes, donuts, dips, chips, pizza. almost all the teachers were overweight. 

I've worked in a grocery store for many years - the idea that vegetables and fruits are expensive is pretty much a myth.  If you know how to shop for your veggies, they really come out much cheaper. Broccoli that you will have enough for a whole week is 0.99$ versus a package of donut that is 5$. It's about what you teach your children in terms of looking at food. My brother and I always LOVED broccoli, because our parents never brought us with the idea that there was 'reward' food and food you 'had' to eat.  A lot of parents were raised with the idea of reward food, and because they love their kids, they want to 'reward' them by giving them chocolate and candy. But that's not much of a reward, IMO.

I agree that fresh produce is cheap when you buy in season. Because I don't eat the junk my boyfriend buys I always notice how much it adds to the bill - a lot!

In my primary school, we had healthy-food initiatives such as selling produce wholesale in bulk; you could get huge bags of apples, potatoes, carrots etc very cheaply through the school. We also grew veges in the school gardens as part of the curriculum; then we cooked and ate them and everyone was keen because we'd grown them ourselves.

I did not come from a particularly rich community. We even had community gardens - usually a staple of low-income communities - for people to grow produce on. My family had a vege garden and you can't get cheaper than something you've grown yourself.

I think people like to complain about the price of produce because they can't afford both healthy food and junk food, and they're not willing to give up the junk to buy what keeps them healthy. I've lived on a low income before, and it's totally possible to have a diet filled with fruit, veges and other natural goodness like grains, pulses, beans and the like. I think it's more an issue of priorities.