Too thin or just right? (old thread)

Hi, I'm new. I created an account here a few months ago but sort of forgot about it until last night. I went out to dinner with a friend and we got into a(nother) fight about my weight - this has been going on for so long, I'm sick of it, and I wanted to get some other opinions.

The cliff notes version is that my friend has been worried about my eating habits for a while, she thinks I'm too thin, and I disagree. I'm 5'4" and weigh 95 lbs., and ever since she found out what I weigh she's been freaking out. I know that 95 at 5'4" is technically underweight, but it sounds worse than it is because I have so little muscle, and I honestly don't think that my friend would be this concerned if she didn't know the numbers. We fight about it all the time, and it's starting to get really upsetting. I don't think she's lying when she tells me I'm too skinny, but I do think she's biased, so that's why I decided to post here. I want honest, unbiased opinions: am I really so thin as to warrant that much concern? There are pictures in my profile. The most recent is my default, and it was taken yesterday. Ignoring the numbers, do I look "emaciated?" I know I'm not fat, but it's hard to take my friend seriously when she says things like that. In my opinion, I'm on the lower end of normal.

Thanks.

For whatever it's worth, that picture of you (may '07) when you were 101 is really pretty.  Was that weight so terrible feeling?? If not, then why have you dropped 6 more lbs?


Oh, and if you don't have much muscle, start eating more and working out and then nobody will have cause to be worried.

Thanks, but yeah, I was really unhappy at that weight. I didn't like the way I looked, I felt terrible and was miserable all the time. I lost the 6 pounds because I was starting to get obsessed with my weight and lost focus on the things that really mattered (school, future career, etc.). I'm more comfortable and can function better in the 90's, I guess.

I do work out a lot, but I never build muscle, and that's what bothers me the most about my body. I wouldn't care so much about staying below 100 if my body fat percentage was lower.

You're too thin in my personal opinion, but you dont look emaciated. What bothers me is that at 101 pounds you were really unhappy and became obsessed. There is no reason for anyone to be unhappy at 101, unless you are an obese small child. 

Too thin.  Look at your picture from the side! And that was when you weighed less than now! Do you regularly get your period? That's the main test.  If so, then I'd say that I guess you're fine. 

You are the exact same height and weight as me. But I'm gaining cuz i need my period, and also i have a huge ribcage and my ribs and backbones stick out...kinda gross.

You look very thin, not necessarily "sick" thin...I would say like justme said if you are menstrating at this weight then ok, but DON'T go any lower...it's a downward spiral. However, I think you should be able to be comfortable with yourself at 100+ pounds...that's still very thin and I don't think you can healthfully stay at 95 forever.

My overall advice would be try and get comfortable with the idea of gaining a few more pounds...maybe start exercising a little...you'll feel better about yourself, and be able to gain a little without it really showing.

I'd like to see a few more pounds on you.  The 102/103 photo was very cute and in no way looked fat.   Even at that weight, I think you're a bit on the underweight side.  The under 100 lbs just are too thin in my opinion...that's not taking into account the old saying that the camera adds lbs.

What does your doctor say? That's whose opinion you should be asking, not anonymous internet people.

Do you mind me asking how old you are? Are you planning to lose more weight or maintain what you are at now?

You said your friend became concerned before she knew your weight because of your eating habits. What are your eating habits? To be 95lbs and 5'4" you must not be eating well-balanced and healthy meals. That to me is very concerning.

Assuming you are a young adult from your photos, you have a body mass index of 16.3. That is significantly underweight. I know you are saying you aren't too thin b/c you are not muscular however BMI actually IMO reflects better for people who are not too muscular.

I understand why your friend is concerned and I am concerned too. So to answer your question specifically: yes, you are too thin and are displaying signs of disordered thinking when it comes to weight and food. You should be no less than 105-110 lbs at your height and even that is thin.

If you are concerned about being  flabby at 105-110lbs then work out more to build strength. There is no way you workout and don't build muscle and strength. Perhaps the men and women on the Fitness board can help you design better workouts for building muscle on a small frame, but you should gain some weight first.

In my opinion yes you do look too thin. I am 5'3 and 92lbs (up from 87lbs) but recovering anorexia and trying to gain weight. This would basically put my at the same BMI as you right now... but anyways your rib cage sticks out too much and you have little or no tone to your stomach. If you were to just build muscle, you would still look just as thin but you would be in a better weight category. Muscle weighs more then fat but takes up less room.

Is it possible that you have an eating disorder? Have you checked out the signs and symptoms/behaviours? Because hun at 5'4 and 95lbs, you are a little too underweight for it to be just "naturally skinney" especially since you mentioned that you got obessed with your weight... never a good sign when you didnt need to lose to begin with. How much were you eating to get to that weight? and how much are you eating now?

too thin.

pounds=curves. every woman neds curves :)

contrary - Usually I would agree, but in this case the opinion of "anonymous internet people" is exactly what I wanted. I know what my doctor would say, but at this point I'm not looking for a medical opinion.

nycgirl - I'll be 22 in about 2 hours. :)  I don't know if I'll lose more weight or not. I'd like to, but I don't want to push away the friend I mentioned before, and the weight thing is a big issue between us. I've already gained 3 pounds since she first found out, and I'm not happy about it. Things are very confusing right now, and I just don't know what I want.

carmenxox - I try to build muscle, but it never happens. I do exercise a lot, though. Probably more than I should. About the eating disorder... well, a few months ago my temp. therapist assured me that I didn't "look" like I had an ED. She isn't the most competent woman in field, obviously. But to answer your question, I have a history with ED NOS. That comment about not looking like I have an eating disorder is probably the most triggering thing anyone has ever said to me. I haven't been evaluated in a while so I don't know what, if anything, my current diagnosis would be.

i would guess that it's not your body or your weight that you are unhappy with, but rather something else. if you correctly identify the problem, and work towards fixing it, then your unhappiness over being a healthy weight will fade away.

recommendation: find a better therapist.

and happy birthday!  here's to a great year... 

Happy B-Day!

Knowing that you have had a history of ED NOS, makes a huge difference in my opinion.  To me, it means that you should be even more careful not to become underweight as even if you are recovering, odd things can trigger it.  Since you're 22 now, I would guess that the last time you were evaluated was probably 2 or more years ago.  The minimum weight recommended for you at that time is most likely different than the weight that would be recommended for you now, especially if you're taller now and have hopefully developed more.

You say you're in school, are there any counselors/nutritionists/physical trainers that you could consult with in order to create a diet and exercise plan that would better suit you?  Can you go see your doctor, just to make sure you're not doing yourself damage?  Building muscles is not an overnight process, it does take time, work, and the proper nutrition for your body to do what it needs to do.  Building some muscle would give you more weight and might improve your self image.

If I were your friend, I would have a very difficult time knowing that you're probably harming yourself and wanting to continue the behaviour.

k well you still havent answered a certain question.. that is how much were you eating to get to this weight and how much are you eating now? That will be the deciding factor...

p.s. you actually do need to eat more to build muscle... a low calorie diet and exercise will only burn off the energy and muscle that you already have if you dont eat enough to make up for it.

I think you do look pretty okay; yes a bit too thin but it's most important how you feel and WHY it's so important for you to be in the 90's. Good luck with your friend.

carmenxox - To get to this weight, about 100-300 cals a day, but I was stressed at the time because a lot of things were going on in my life, and honestly I just didn't have much of an appetite. Now I'm closer to 300/400 calories, some days a little higher. Reading this, it sounds bad, but when I eat it feels like so much more.

I'm scared for your health & I wish you would take your health more seriously. Your health is all you have , all you can call your own--it's what you grow old with or die young with-=--which do you want it to be?

I'm in the same boat as both you AND lena123--my friends freak out and call me unhealthy [I'm around 96 pounds, 5'4"] but recently I've learned that a lot of their concern is easily justifiable, especially because I've stopped menstruating.. I mean, as long as you really are healthy and your body is happy at that weight, you're fine.

Original Post by withinhershadow:

carmenxox - To get to this weight, about 100-300 cals a day, but I was stressed at the time because a lot of things were going on in my life, and honestly I just didn't have much of an appetite. Now I'm closer to 300/400 calories, some days a little higher. Reading this, it sounds bad, but when I eat it feels like so much more.

First of all, 300-400 calories that "feels like a lot more" is still only 300-400 calories. At the very least, you need about 1200-1500 calories and probably closer to 1800 calories a day if you do much exercising.

Secondly, you are absolutely too thin and are in serious danger from malnutrition. In some of your pictures, it looks like you are skeletal. It's not good.

If you continue, the way you are going, This is what is going to happen to you: The Body Neglected.

Please take care of your body and increase your caloric intake so you can gain weight.

Oh boy...I am really concerned about you.  Not only do you look too thin, there appears to be some other sort of self-destruction going on as well (by the looks of your upper arm).  I have a sister who has been battling w/self destruction for years, one of the things she did to herself, was eat very little.  She was anorexic along w/doing many other harmful things to herself.  A direct result of her anorexia put her in the hospital for weeks w/tubes up her nose and heart monitors on.  The doctors were very afraid she was going to die becuase of the lack of nutrients she had in her body.  She was eating so little that her body could not perform the "normal" functions any longer.  She was a mess.  Thankfully, she pulled herself out of it and is now eating healthy and no longer cuts herself.  She does, however, have long term effects of the torment she did to herself.  You really should be getting some professional help - ASAP!!!!