thinking

just wanted to ask if anyone else had a all or nothing way of thinking not just with eating but lots of things in life , its almost like i cant go inbetween . i want to have a healthy relationship with food and weight gain but its hard when in this frame of mind

I've heard it is common in people with eating disorders; you're not alone. I think that's what makes recovery hard for so many. Stay strong, you can recover! x

thanks laralives

While I do not always manage to break negative thought patterns, there are some activities that I can do that help. The main one is working with my hands. My favorite activity is drawing. Second to that would be taking notes on an interesting article. In either case, since I usually must concentrate on two things at once (i.e. drawing/subject, writing/article, etc.), there is little room left for obsessive thoughts about food. Beyond those, I also find listening to music and reading relatively simple fiction to be rather relaxing. The bottom line is that you should try and find some involving activities that can leave little space in your mind for distracting thoughts about food. For one last suggestion, despite the fact that you cannot actually do more than one thing at a time, you can try and multi-task. For example, I enjoy solving logic puzzles while listening to music. Obviously, if I am concentrating on the puzzle, then I do not really notice the music and vice versa. And yet, by having the other option present, you have something to fall back on lest your mind should start to wander toward food again. Hope something in there proves useful!

thanks for the helpful tips vincent h x

i'm generally a wishy-washy, weeble-wobbling, grey-thinking, diplomatic, reasonable, understanding, mediating libra when it comes to relationships and interacting with others, but when it comes to expectations i hold for myself, i may just be the most black-and-white, unreasonable person you'll ever meet.

it's one of those "underlying factors" that i really need to work on. it's par for the course.

<3

Yes.  And I either do full face make-up and style my hair, or I do nothing at all.  I can't just put on a little lipstick or mascara and that's it.  It's all or nothing.

Yes Helen! I can totally relate! And specifically to everything cruumb has mentioned. I have excruciating double standards. When it comes to others I can muster all of the sympathy in the world, but when it comes to myself there is zero tolerance/acceptance. It really makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. When I see things from an outsider perspective I can make more solid decisions, but when I'm "in my own head" everything feels very uncertain and confused. And that's where the tendency to react in extreme ways comes into play. It's like a really basic, primitive reaction I think. Things needing to be done excessively in order to feel like they're being done at all (i.e. the manifestation of binge eating for me - eating until I was so uncomfortably full I HAD to stop before I literally exploded). The all or nothing mentality is a highly destructive one, and difficult to conquer. Temperance, moderation... These are virtual dreams to me. But skills to be learned I suppose, like everything else. They don't come naturally to me, no, but for too long I've used this as an excuse not to develop them. "That's just not me" - it doesn't mean that I can't work on them, does it? Quite frankly, I think the ED has taught me this: If I want to stay alive, I'll HAVE to work on them, whether I want to or not.

grt advice you guys thanks

very helpful nina im glad im not alone h x

You are certainly not alone helen xox ED is such an isolating illness - but at least it has served to bring us all together in an effort to beat it.

your right nina we must fight this illness to the hilt ,and try to destroy it ,or as much as we can h x

Yes yes yes yes. All or nothing. It can manifest like a beast with food but it can also be tamed with time. My kids have taught me a lot about that, how most things aren't all or nothing. Think through these thoughts and why you feel you might have them as you continue to recover - I bet you will learn a great deal as you heal from the inside out. You have some very deep thoughts - are you journaling? Writing poetry? I bet you would write some great poems documenting your recovery.

thanks bsh i havnt been journaling but think i might start it, infact you answered another one of my posts of what to do with my time hope your ok h x

on a side note helen... its lovely to put a face to the posts.. cute puppy

thanks figjet added a few in my gallery h x

F-I-D-G-E-T!!!!!

sorry spelling was never one of my strong points