Thinner- I want to hide anyway

This is just a rant but if you have similar experiences please feel free to jump on the rant.

I wore a skirt to work today because nothing else fit - I have worn dresses before to work but today it was weird.  People teasing me about showing my legs -huh? I wore shorts last week!, and one woman said something to the effect of how nice it was that I feel good enough to show off my body a little.  This is NOT my first dress at work.  But another woman asked me to stand up and turn around so she could see me!  WTF?  It was a casual skirt - a skort really.  I wore a t-shirt and canvas sneakers.  Not really a bump up from my usual attire!

Then there are the men - I am over 40 and certainly past my babe years, and still fat really.  But I am short and I think that makes people think of me as vulnerable.  So every time I am in a store buying something heavyish there is usually some guy rushing to "help" me.  Gaghhghh!  Am I supposed to blush and simper now?  Buddy - out of my way already!  Yes and thank you very much but you were not so kind 30 lbs ago!

You know - i was invisible when I was heavy.  I rather liked that.  I could do my own thing and no one said a word.  its not that I am unfriendly.  But my body should not be the door way into friendship.  

 

God...I know that feeling exactly. 

It's not like losing weight changed my personality... if you didn't notice me then then go away now.  It's irritating. 

I don't care for the honking when I go walking...I'm not sure whether they're "way to go, girl" honks or "you have a great butt" honks.  Honestly I'd rather have no honking at all.  It frightens the pedestrian aka me.

This scares me.

Honestly, when it comes to being fat, one of the 'perks' is that I don't really have to 'screen' people, most jerks don't want to be friends with me. Most shallow people aren't vying for my company. But the weight comes off and suddenly theres the whole world of less than nice people that want to befriend me and I've never had to deal with them before. It's messed up. And offensive. It's not a good reason to gain weight back, but I honestly think it may be one of the reasons I did. I missed being taken seriously. I missed my personality.. mattering. Mostly though, I was just pissed at being yanked from my naive state of not thinking attractiveness or thinness really affected how people were treated. Not to say I gained it back intentionally, but I was so ..bothered by humanity as a whole, that it didn't seem like a tradegy when I realized I had gained some.

Here's to hoping it will feel a little less high school once now that I'm out of college and losing it again.

I completely sympathize. I'm not at this point yet, but I know it sucks. Especially when people think they are complimenting you and look proud of themselves.

On the plus side, you must have looked exceptionally good today : )

YES!  I wore a skirt to work a few weeks ago and had people commenting on it ALL DAY.  I suppose it was meant to be friendly/flattering, but I really just felt embarassed.  All the men on my floor were commenting on it, and all the women were looking at me sideways and whispering like I was some kind of slut for wearing a skirt that went below my knees.   Perhaps they were jealous of the attention... but as far as I'm concerned, they can HAVE it, I certainly wasn't asking for it.

I really can't figure out why anyone cared. 

A guy's perspective -

I recall commenting on a co-worker's wearing a skirt, but it was not because she lost weight, but because she had worn pantsuits for the previous year!

Any change attracts attention - some people are a bit less sensitive with their comments than others I know - but sometimes and compliment is really just that, a compliment.

Do you think the comments and the attention are how people are acknowledging your weight loss?  It's clumsy, but maybe they don't know how to do it in a more graceful way--maybe they aren't trying to be rude.  I think this is part of the deal.  Make a change and you'll get attention.

I agree with rosieblue. It's like a paradigm shift. People don't know how to act. Yes, there is discrimination against fat people. I've felt it myself. And when I'm fat I even carry myself differently. I'm uncomfortable and unhappy with myself for letting myself get that way. When I lose a big hunk of weight I feel like it's a little bit of freedom. I'm sure that others can't help but notice not only how I look, but also the increased ease with which I move and comport myself. It's partly me, and partly them.

I know it's a bit uncomfortable at first with the attention you're suddenly getting, but that's their problem, not yours.  And boys will be boys. Many mean well, others are just jerks.

Bottom line is: Celebrate! You deserve it. Accept compliments gracefully. And enjoy your new freedom...

It's one thing for someone to honk at you while you're walking; it's another for a co-worker to notice your weightloss. I have lost 15lbs since January, and it really pisses me off when I'm running and someone honks or whistles at me. They don't know me, and they're only seeing my physical appearance. However, when someone I know says "hey you look good!" I take it as a compliment rather than as a degrading insult.

But some comments will embarrass you. Funny you should mention the skirt thing at work, because I wore a skirt to work on Friday, and someone said "check out your runner's legs! wow!" And I was immediately embarrassed, lol.

Anyway, keep up the good work :)

jcl76

You said,  "it really pisses me off when I'm running and someone honks or whistles at me."

Maybe people are honking because you're running.  You know, you're out there doing something while they're sitting in their cars.  And if not, you're a pretty girl, so who cares if a couple of people honk at you.  As you get older (like me), you appreciate all the compliments you get.  As for your legs, considering what you do for fun, you must have awesome legs, and I bet everybody who says something wishes they were like you.  Keep wearing short skirts and showing your legs.  Your twenties are the time to do it.

not going to lie ..i love attention.

but i have to agree since ive lost weight ...so much 'fake' attention. One guy that I had just met in my new program, had the balls to judgethat he can see me as the popular pretty high school girl.  (just because the way I look now) ... little does he know, I was not popular at all in high school, mainly because I was overweight. Its a harsh reality. Especially when you reconize how different society treats based on looks. Its sad really.