And I thought I was doing so well...

I'm so down about this and wish I wasn't...allow me to explain: we had to weigh ourselves for a lab today, I wasn't sure how much I weighed - i know it is just in the 130's range but am trying to get to 130 so I know I am just trying to lose these last few lbs and I thought I was doing really well (I'm down from 185 a year ago so being within the reach of my goal was exciting to me!) So I stepped on the scale and it was 132! I was happy about that! I lost 3 pounds since last weighing myself and now am only 2 lbs away! Then a boy in my group exclaims, "132! Wow  thats really large for a girl!" and kinda laughs at me. My jaw just dropped...and now I don't know what to think. I feel like crap now instead of feeling good about my new weight loss, I thought I was doing really well with confidence and self esteem (I feel as though I have had bad self esteem my whole life and now am just learning to like myself for who I am), but I let this stupid boy's comments really get to me I guess. I still have a few things about my body that make me feel insecure-but am working on those with toning and such and hope to get to a place soon that Im just happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. A combination I guess of being the "fat ugly" one my whole life and knowing that I still have alot of work to do, As a result of what this boy said, I now just feel fat and inadequate, I mean it makes me wonder why I'm doing this if I'm still going to be considered "big" no matter what I do?...I'm really trying to be healthier-but to look good would be a nice side effect! I realise I'm never going to be one of those tiny, perfect, petite women, I'm just not built that way...but do I really have to live with these "big" and "large" and (my favorite from childhood) "big-boned" comments forever??? Why is there this stupid fanaticism in society today with skinny, small, frail looking women? There is something fundamentally wrong with society if I can't even be a normal weight for my height without being thought of as "large". I'm pissed and depressed at the same time. Sorry about the long post and the vent, I am just feeling so down and fed up... :( I guess my point is, why is society so obsessed with the number on the scale?

The guy sounds like an idiot - like there is one perfect "small" size for a girl...gawd - would someone look at him and say well that's kinda small for a guy.

I know how you feel with the "fat ugly" - I was that for about five years (called to my face by someone who "loved" me). 

BUT SERIOUSLY - CONGRATULATIONS on your loss so far and never ever ever let the big jerks get to you - I am sure you look fantastic!

1. He's a jerk.
2. No wonder we're confused - standing at the checkout counter and looking at magazine covers where Celebrity A is undersized, but oh my god Celebrity B gained , gasp, 5 pounds. And actually has boobs now.
3. Did I mention he's a jerk?
4. He probably has no idea what a real woman weighs. He probably has no idea about a lot of things because...
5. He's a jerk.

And it sounds like you are both fairly young. One of the things I do love about aging is learning that "its all good" including me. And you.

you already noticed the two main problems with this situation... one, the boy was an idiot. i know it doesn't make much of a difference coming from random internet person, but screw him. you've lost a lot of weight and that's too amazing an achievement to let some dumb high school(?) kid get you down.

two, society is obsessed with the number on the scale, sadly. you are not a number! plus, the number is not that representative of your health or fitness. :)

p.s. it doesn't last forever... people often say things like that to mask their own insecurities and hopefully they grow up too.

The guy is a CHILD.  You've done a great job, becoming healthy and fit.  Spoken like a boy with a really tiny winkie. 

You know how far you've come.  You've worked too hard to let an immature moron cut you down.

I think you are doing awesome!! :) Don't listen to that guy... he seems pretty clueless about stuff we deal with...

I think you should stick with your goal and not worry about what everyone else thinks! You've made wonderful improvements in your life and I'm sure there are plenty of boys out there that find you beautiful!

I agree with what you are saying as what society sees as good looking... But, I do think they are getting better about it. Ever since a Brazilian (?) model died of anorexia, they are getting a little better about the image models are portraying. Granted there are still anorexic models/actresses out there, but hopefully they are getting less film time... I'm seeing ads in the mall at places like Express where the models in the pictures actually have a figure! I mean, they are still skinny, but they aren't just bones! It's refreshing! They are portraying women that girls can actually look up to! They have a chest, hips and a toned body... I hope this trend continues in selling and advertising towards real women and not making them feel like crap!

Boys seriously have no idea how much women weigh.

My BF can look at a 200lb woman and thinks she weighs 140 because that is fat for a girl.  A lot of them think girls weigh 120lbs but they have no idea what 120bls looks like.

They are clueless :P

Changing your life habits to be more healthy includes nutrition, exercise, and your way of thinking.

You said it yourself...you let his comments get to you.  You wonder why people are so stuck on the image of being thin and all.  You can ask yourself that question because it seems that you are as obsessed over it as the kid was.

People will always say stupid things.  People will always assume they know more or know better than you do.  You have to take it with a grain of salt. 

People will also say things in front of other people just to get a rise, to get attention.  Things they would never say when they are alone.  People like this usually have their own self esteem issues and like to bring others down trying to bring themselves up.

All this to say, this is not the last time you will hear things like this.  You have to either bitch him out or ignore him.  Your choice. =)

Don't listen to that guy.  You have come a long way and you should be very proud of yourself!  132 is certainly not "large".  130 is actually my goal weight.

Society puts too much importance on weight and frankly a healthy weight is much more appealing to most than being really skinny.  Look at the health problems some of the celebrities face when they are too thin and think about how awful they look in photos when they are that skinny.

Great Job Trx!

I can't wait until I get into the same 130 range!  You are doing awesome, and I am sure I speak for more than one person here: you are an example, and your experience is a motivator to us all.

PS, Ignore the Jeune Asshat.

One time when I was still growing my father told me that a woman should never weigh more than 115 lbs. I didn't tell him that I weighed 125. My dad is an idiot.

You dropped from 185 to 132!!! You are such an inspiration. That boy has no clue at all!! Stay positive and be proud of yourself!!

This guy is truly a moron.  132 is a perfectly fine weight for a girl.  Seriously, guys have no idea.  Some girls can weigh a lot and still be considered "skinny" because they have a lot of muscle (which, if you're doing all this toning stuff, you probably do) or big boobs or whatever.  You've lost so much weight and that's awesome!  Don't let some loser with half a brain discourage you.

Also, you talk about never being a "tiny petite perfect woman"  I have a few things to say about that:

1. No one is perfect

2. Even people who "society" deems to be perfect don't look in the mirror and agree with the general consensus.  Everyone sees their own flaws magnified times a billion.

3. It DOES sound like you're young, so don't forget that your body is still changing.  When I was in high school, and even in college, I was one of those girls who was built kind of stocky...it wasn't until I was about 23 that I really "grew into" my body.  What you see in the mirror may not be what you see 5 years from now.

4. Most adult guys don't like stick-thin women.  Guys like boobs.  And hips.  And butts.  Seriously.

But with that said, we ARE women after all and it's pretty inevitable that we're going to pick at ourselves no matter how skinny we get or how many shallow losers we prove wrong.  You have to do this for YOU; for your own health.  Keep up the good work and be proud of yourself!

Hey, 130 is REALLY good for a girl!

I know I am 5'2" and I normally weight 124. Just because some pencil dick said something stupid like stupid little pencil dick boys usually do, doesn't mean you should feel bad. These guys, they will never go away hun... you just gotta thank God that you will never get stuck one, (no arranged marriage).

Trust me, men don't know much about womens weight.

I work in an industry where I talk to men daily and if I say I am 5'3 and weigh 120 they think I am FAT. No kidding.

Men just don't understand because women lie about their weight constantly.

A person who I see regularly guessed me to weigh 150 pounds. What!!?? I just laughed and said, no make that 215 pounds.

don't take it to heart. You did awesome losing the weight, and just remember its not about what others think its about how you feel. :)

Thanks so much all, your comments made me laugh! (Haha -- Jeune Asshat-- I love it!!!) I feel better now about it. He was stupid, and not too fit himself! I am still young I guess lol, 21 years young (I'm in university), so not too late to change myself for the better (which I have been trying to do). I feel so silly letting this bother me when I should be past stuff like this...but I just keep coming back to how I felt immediately after he said that...it brought back all these feelings from a really crappy childhood on the confidence front, I thought I had gotten over...strange how one person's shallow comment can undo years of my work trying to fix my confidence...I wish I could be one of those ppl that can just brush off an insult...but I've always taken things pretty personally. Its so hard when were surrounded by beautiful people in the media and told day after day what a woman "should" look like...sometimes I really get sucked into all the hype, which is bad for my confidence. I wonder if other women find it as hard as I do sometimes, what do you do to cope?

just the fact that he would say something so idiotic and hurtful proves he has no idea what he is talking about! 132! i'd be thrilled! believe me, guys haven't the foggiest clue when it comes to what women weigh. not too long ago a guy i just started dating laughed and said "what are you, like 115lbs?" i'm 5'8, 140!! i just said "yeah, sure, let's go with that!" he had no idea that at 115, i'd probably be looking a little scary! you are doing fantastic and should be proud. keep it up!

Man, I haven't been 130 since seventh grade...I'm 25 now and started my diet at about the same weight as you. You are a success story for me!

I totally sypathize with your situation. Isn't it crazy how much we agonize over what people say?
And it's funny because it's only the creepy people who spew everything they are thinking with no tact, like verbal diarrhea. So we end up shaping our lives to fit what some really creepy, ugly-souled person wants us to be.
And then one day we discover that some truly, sweet, nice people have been admiring us from afar just the way we are but didn't say anything.
I'd rather find out that lots of shy, kind people liked me than change myself and discover the only person who still liked me was some loud-mouthed weasel who doesn't know how to treat a fellow human being.
I know it's hard, but don't take it to heart, continue loving what you are doing for yourself and your health, and some truly mature, intelligent guys will also recognize that you have something good going on--guys who are actually worth thinking about. Don't give this guys a second thought, except to feel sorry for the poor girl who has to live up to his out-of-whack standards for the rest of her life.

I totally agree with everyone who posted a reply. 

HE IS AN IDIOT.  I am not sure if you are in high school or college, but it doesnt matter...there will always be stupid people wherever you go.  WHEREVER you go.  I am still highly self concious, but I have learned to not listen to people so much.  I dont like my body right now, but I accept it (its all I have to work with).  And I am going to keep dieting and exercising because no matter what I look like now... I'll get there.  You will get there.

You have come a long way.  You have already accomplished SO MUCH!!!  I wish that I was 132 right now. haha.  I bet so do a lot of other people here.  If you give up now, everything you have done so far will mean nothing.  2 pounds... HA!!!  Those two pounds are nothing.  Look at where you started.  I know you can do it.  You did the right thing by posting here.  Everyone here is very helpful and positive. 

At 132 lbs... I bet you are hot.  I bet there are a lot of people who think you are gorgeous.  Dont let ONE moron get you down.  I work with a bunch of morons and according to me, they dont get to have an opinion.  haha.  And neither does that guy.  Or anyone else who thinks that 132 is big for a girl... they dont get an opinion about you or anyone alive.  Got me?  Thick skin babe is the way to go. 

I know I kind of babbled here, but the point is you are gorgeous, and special and dont let anyone else tell you different.  Stick with it.

-M*

people who are insecure will go out on a limb to make someone else feel like crap, especially if that someone else has aschieved amazing things.

You have achieved an amazing weightloss! Congratulations! As for that guy, what has he ever achieved? Apart from being an a-hole?

:)

130 is NOT a high weight for a girl. I used to work in theatre, and we had to weigh the actors monthly (yes, a sucky thing to have to do at a job), and even some of the super thin actors and dancers weighed above that. He doesn't have a clue what he is talking about.

congratulations on all of you weight loss, it's amazing. Keep up the positive thoughts you had been having.