Throw In the Towel?

So everyone I know thinks I'm crazy about wanting to get down to 100 lbs (I started at 113 and am 5'3" -- I'm 109ish now), and according to everyone I've talked to, who granted, are NOT nutritionists, has told me that 12, 13, and 1400 cal daily expenditures are "ridiculous" and "only for people who need to lose "like 40 lbs, 100 lbs."

Anyway, in an effort to not have people talk about me behind my back (dare they call me crazy or anorexic), and to feel NORMAL, I've been "binging" for 3 days now -- 800+ cal cheesy spaghetti w/ acouple of fries on Saturday, ordering a half crab cake sandwich & half tuna melt w/avo sandwich plus a chocolate w/cookie dough frozen yogurt yesterday, and eating at a Teppan place for lunch today (ie: fried rice, chicken, shrimp, veggies, miso soup, salad, AND sushi... and I ate EVERY last bite). It's 5:35pm right now, I'm at 1750 cals, and am not planning on having dinner -- the trough of food I had for lunch will suffice. ...I may finish off my frozen yogurt though. But I digress...

So based on what everyone's telling me (ie: "you're NOT fat, you're crazy," "all of this counting is RIDICULOUS - who does this??" and "just move around more and don't eat JUNK food. Who cares about the cals in good-for-you food?") I'm almost tempted to throw in the towel on all of this calorie counting business, and just exercise(currently I don't work out -- I used to dance, but haven't in a couple of years).

I guess what I'm asking is what do you guys think? I know that in the end it's up to me, but here are the basics:


Possible reasons to quit:

• My biggest shame is my cellulite, which I've heard doesn't necessarily go away w/diet NOR exercise.
• I know I'm certainly not FAT (my BMI places me on the border of normal/underweight), but I have a *very* small build, and so any/all weight I do have is untoned fat.
• When I'm trying to lose weight, everyone says I become "ornery," and it's causing problems in my personal relationships.
• My body ideal is a Paris Hilton / Nicole Kidman or Kate Bosworth type -- which I realize is impossible for me to attain, no matter HOW much weight I lose, because I don't have that body type. I have a big booty -- my natural build is an untoned Jessica Simpson type, but w/thinner arms.

Reasons to continue:

• I really AM unhappy with how I look from the waist down.
• Being thin used to be my trademark. Now I look (what I perceive to be) average.
• I live in LA, land of Ashlee Simpson and Mary-Kate lookalikes.
• I do some acting, and the camera adds 10 lbs. So on film I look over 120 (mostly from the waist down) and short.
• C-C.com had opened my eyes to how INSANELY caloric any/all food you eat out can be, and it freaks me out.

So what are your thoughts? I haven't been here long and you guys have been great to me so far, so I want you to know that I truly appreciate any/all feedback.

Thanks,
Krissy

PS I'm attaching new bikini pictures to my pics section (god help me), so you can see hwat I mean about my problem areas, cellulite, etc, and what I should do about it all...

well, one thing you could do, is to change your focus from how you look to how healthy you will be if you change your eating habits.   definitely you should use the tools on this website to make sure that you are eating healthy.   if you are eating the right number of calories to reach your goal weight, and making sure that you are getting straight "A"s on your daily analysis, no one can argue with that!!  i  think it's absolutely wonderful  that at the end of the day i know whether i've had a healthy eating day, or not.

the other half of the equation is to make sure you are getting the right kind of exercise to keep your muscles toned. 

plus, i don't think you would feel "ornery" if you find the right combinations of food that work for you, and keep your metabolism going all day long.

so my recommendation:  don't listen to crazy people.   listen to the people on this website.

If you do eat healthy and without a huge deficit what is the problem? I know its hard not having support or receiving negative opinion but it's your body and as long as you make the good choice are stay aware of it... No problems!

To Elin:

I'm ornery because I love to eat rich food. ;-) Especially cheese, avocado, chocolate, and nuts. Basically everything I SHOULDN'T have! ;-) As for what the site says with regards to cals per goal weight, that's just it... Everyone in my life is like "well your goal is ludicrous. Who wants to weigh 100 lbs and isn't anorexic?? You look fine -- just tone up what you have, don't lose." Therefore the 12/13/1400 cal limit is also in their "that's ludicrous" basket of judgment, because they don't think I should be losing, and they think that a limit that "extreme" is for severely overweight/obese people who need that limitation. I tried explaining that that's what the calc said w/regards to MY specific info, but they still thought it was nuts, and told me "NO ONE eats like that. Just watch what you eat a little -- don't count, I mean avoid things like McDonalds -- and work out. That's all."

::sigh:: I'm so torn!! HELP!!!

if it's any help i am in the same boat...
i've gained from the 100 and i feel "flabby"... granted i'm an inch shorter but at 105 i'm not toned, i'm not healthy.  i overeat too often and don't really enjoy what i eat. 

i'm NOT anorexic, i know i'm not fat, i know i'm nowhere near it.  i just know where my body weight is ideal and like to stick to it.  it's UNHEALTHY to let yourself go all the time.  at one point my weight was at 96 and i thought (KNEW) i looked sickly. i changed it.. a little too much.

like you i love food.

but there's a difference between controlling your calories (cough thus this site) and throwing yourself into starvation because you wanna be that paris hilton type.

i say do what makes you feel best, and strive for happiness and health over appearance :-)

What is your normal calorie expenditure per day? Do you normally exercise or are you normally more sedentary?

Rather than limiting yourself to 1200 or 1300 calories per day, why not decrease your caloric intake by 100 - 300 less than your normal calorie expenditure and then increase your activity level to burn at least 300 more calories per day?

Also, there's nothing wrong with avocado, cheese or nuts in moderation, especially if you're bordering on normal/underweight.

Why can't you take the middle ground? Count calories, sure, but more to maintain your weight as it is.

It isn't all or nothing - and forget what those fools in your life are saying. Eat healthy, exercise, enjoy life!!!

I wish you the very best in your life.

I think your problem is not fat, it's lack of muscle tone. I know if you ran around more like you probably did as a younger teenager, then you'd have a tighter body.

You autta eat what you need to maintain your weight. If you're going to work out, maybe some extra protien.

You could go the other direction:  hit the gym and build up a little bit of muscle.  Yes, you'll weigh a bit more, but a woman with a tight, fit body who happens to weigh 115-125 pounds (at your height) is going to be WAY more attractive than a sedentary beanpole at 100 pounds ("fitness models" are way, way hotter than runway models, IMHO.).  As a bonus, the added muscle will have a higher base metabolic rate--you'll burn more calories even at rest!  What falls out of that is that you can more easily add some of the foods you love back into your diet without piling it on around the waist, hips, butt, and thighs.  Muscle is denser than fat, too, so even if you weigh more, you will nonetheless be more compact.

You do NOT have a butt that needs its own ZIP code!  You're an attractive young lady (/me puts on his dirty old man cap, looks at his wedding ring, and takes the cap back off).

Screw trying to make yourself look like someone else.  Make yourself look like the best you that you can be.

If you have the time, hit the gym a couple of times a week for some light/medium weight work (find out what routines fitness models do, and do that same type of work, scaled to the amount of weight that you can handle), and do 30-45 minutes of aerobic work at 70-80% intensity three times a week.  You'll be able to eat more, you'll be healthier, and in a few months, you will start to see a completely different body--one that will most certainly be attractive enough to continue to pursue your acting.

You guys are the best -- thank you.

I think that I'm going to go for a middle ground. Aim for 1400, and if I hit 16 or 17, that's ok -- just not EVERY day.  Once school starts next week I'm going to go to the fitness center over at the student union, as it's only $3 for a day pass as opposed to the arm and a leg a normal gym membership would cost me. I'm on campus 3 days a week, so at least that's 3 days more that I'll be moving. And I'll try and walk my dogs more on my off days.

Wish me luck... and keep those ideas coming, they're so welcomed!!

--K.

I'm with Chris on this. Hit the gym. Count calories, sure, to make sure you're not losing too much weight, but when you work out, make sure to do some resistance training. He explained why pretty well :)

I do want to mention that there's a myth going around that when women lift weights, they'll start to bulk out and look masculine. This is a myth. :) Work on lifting what weights you can (try to do a set of about 8 - 10 repetitions), and you'll slowly build some muscle. You'll look fit, like a dancer or a swimmer, but you won't bulk up and look maculine. Promise :)

Based upon your current Body Mass Index (BMI) of 19.3, you are currently classed as underweight.

A healthy BMI for your gender and age is between 20 and 24

Just be yourself and love yourself the way you are.

i can't count myselfin with ou weight group(me being a LEEEEEEEEETLE bigger than you) but  know that "disproportioned" feeling of not being able to fit inot the same size top and bottom. An nothing eve changed that EXCEPT exercise.

You're right, cellulite never shifts unless you start eating healthy and drinkinglots of water to flush out the toxins, and even then it's not that much help.

You mentioned noticing that youuuuuur metabolism is slower...like maybe since you stopped dancing????If you want to get as slim on the bottom bits as you are on the top, no amount of dieting will ever give you that toned, tight look, and even if you remain bigger on the bottom,,,,,,,,,,,, muscles always "look" better than flab...right?....and they also keep your metablic rate up...so....hit the gym girl!....

Thanks again for the advice and encouragment everyone! Incidentally, my BF is not thrilled with the pictures, so I may be taking them down shortly, lol... But in the meantime, thanks for making me feel better about myself.

As far as noticing my metabolism has slowed, I think that its due to the fact that I'm not 16 anymore, and so the foods that I do eat seems to stick to me more and for longer. ...I think my fixation also comes out of a fear of what is to come, you know? We all know that the battle of the bulge only gets worse as you age, and so as I see things just starting to get bigger/flabbier/whatever, I anticipate the future and have a compelling urge to "nip it in the bud" now, so to speak. But I digress...

<3- K.

Hey! It just happened to me, the slower methabolism thing! It took me by suprise but now I'm here to beat his ass!! :)

I really think you need to incorporate some sort of exercise in your routine.  If you are worried about cellulite and need to get more tone exercise is what you are missing you will be able to achieve the results you are looking for without it.  Sorry but it just wont happen. Regarding suggestions about eating 1200 to 1500 cal a day they are right but it doesn?t mean you should eat them all in one sitting that is not good.  Also if CC says you are border under weight that might be something for you to reflect upon considering that you can select small build as an option when looking at your BMI on CC. Do you really want to look like Mary-Kate and Ashley I mean they have to wear baggy clothes to hide their horrible, unhealthy, starved bodies. UGH. I really think you look great and you don?t need to loose weight at all, and toning will help you mold your body into what you want it to be and give you a positive self image.

Hi Miss Glam,

I saw your pics - you are a gorgous lil thing!!! When I was younger I didn't have an eating disorder, but I had a problem with depression. From age 13 until about 5 yrs ago, I was depressed. One of the things I did to help me to better accept myself was to look into the mirror whenever I got out of the shower, and say, "God, you made me to look this way - and you don't make mistakes." And I would prayerfuly thank Him for making me this way. And I would tell Him that I would do my best to be a blessing to someone today (without becoming a doormat).

One more thing - when you mentioned "ideal body" types - please remember that most of those folks have had "work" done.

A while ago, I saw an old movie with Jennifer Lopez in it. It's an old movie, I cannot remember the name, but she plays a New York cop and she and her partner are trying to solve a crime in the subway. Anyway - she has this kinky hair, and a different nose. Look at her now - she's beee-yooo-tee-ful!!! Do you think that's the result of diet and exercise?

Anyway - you just be you, you are unique, there is no one like you - let that be your trademark - there ain't no one as good looking as Miss Glam.

I saw on your profile your minor in school is in theater. Hey - if you are ever in a play - post up - maybe some of us in SoCal can come and see you.

Hey Krissy,

I think you look awesome! And I think it kinda sucks that you feel such pressure to look like Paris or whoever--you look amazing as-is.

One thing that might help is trying for some fitness-related goals instead of weight- or body-related goals. So you might try signing up for a 5k or go for a mini tri or something. An old boyfriend dragged me to my first race years ago--a race for the cure that I mostly walked instead of 'raced'--and I've been in love with doing such events ever since (although not the boyfriend anymore--tee hee!).

I'm around your height--5'2, barely!--and am also very small framed, and am now hovering between 105-110, which is nice, but what I really love is that I run a LOT and I get to eat a TON and I love the way I feel. Running is just so good for your confidence and peace of mind and overall health, and the perk of having a toned body as a side-effect doesn't hurt either. But the best is that I'm no longer so worried about weight or body image as I am about accomplishing certain goals--like running a marathon, or doing some dumb race or another.  I know running isn't for everyone, but certainly turning your attention AWAY from hurtful body-image issues might help.

p.s. I've added you as a friend!

I agree with the other guys in the thread: hit the gym, do some resistance training, and reclaim some of that muscle mass!  You mentioned Kate Bosworth; well, if you showed me her in Blue Crush then cut to her in Superman, I'd say she wasn't the same person.  Why?  She had some muscle on her in the former, and in the latter she looked like she needed a sammich badly.

Studies have shown that weight loss without any resistance training tends to cause significant loss of muscle mass.  Our bodies have evolved to hoard fat for use in times of famine (humans didn't use to have supermarkets around).  Resistance training convinces our body that we need our muscles, so even if you do decide to lose more weight, you should still do some weight lifting.

Shift your focus away from rote weight as a gauge of health and beauty, and remember that a toned body requires some muscle as well.  And remember that a big part of our battle on CC is self-image, so forget those other girls and focus on what makes YOU happy about yourself.

p.s. As far as the bikini: having just visited a water park this weekend, I can assure you that you look absolutely terrific in it :) 

Babe-your crazy..you look so much better than me in a bikini!