This TICKS me off!

Mother abandons baby in hospital sink

I'm sooo pissed that they have plastered this ladies face all over the news.  She TRIED to do the right thing.  She left the baby at a hospital.    But because she didn't give it directly to personnel, they put her on the news!

So next time someone has an unwanted baby, do you really think they are going to do the right thing?   Nope!       So the next case of a dead baby in a dumpster, the blame should be placed directly on whomevers decision it was to publicize this.    Arghhhh!  I'm so pissed I can't even type anymore!

Original Post by thmheh:

She TRIED to do the right thing.  She left the baby at a hospital.    But because she didn't give it directly to personnel, they put her on the news!

With all due respect, doing the "right thing" would have entailed ensuring the safety of that infant.  It was entirely possible to avoid the publicity.

There's a reason why the Safe Delivery Newborn law specifies surrender to an "emergency care provider" - she has no idea what could happen before the baby was discovered by someone.  An unattended infant is an unattended infant - She's lucky nothing happened, or she could be facing more serious charges.

on edit:  That being said, I don't think charges should be brought against the woman.  She obviously made a tough decision, and was probably very distressed.  But I don't think what she did should be hailed as a model for how unwanted infants should be handled.

Of course no one is advocating leaving them in a sink, but at least it was a hospital.   Again, as I stated, they should have left this well enough alone. 

The next time a mother has an unwanted baby, she's going to remember this girl's face all over the news, and the next baby gets left outside where there's no camera? Or in a dumpster, or in the woods, etc? In Michigan in the middle of winter?

Original Post by thmheh:

The next time a mother has an unwanted baby, she's going to remember this girl's face all over the news, and the next baby gets left outside where there's no camera? Or in a dumpster, or in the woods, etc? In Michigan in the middle of winter?

Yeah, they could do that - and risk a load of even more negative publicity, particularly if the infant dies, they're caught in a manhunt, and then paraded into a courtroom handcuffed to stand trial for negligent homicide.  And even if that didn't happen, I'm sure the guilt would be easier to live with.  

Or maybe they'll abide by the requirements of the law, give the baby to an emergency care provider, and avoid the publicity altogether.

You're sure helping her anonyminity by posting this on a public forum too.

Do you all remember the Nebraska safe haven "scandal" from last fall? That showed the whole country, in my opinion, how desperate people can get and how strict the safe-haven laws really are. This woman abandoned her baby within the right time frame, at a hospital, and she is still risking prosecution? The bit about medical history is BS - no safe haven law requires parents to inform about medical history.The real point is that society doesn't want to take care of unwanted children, it wants to force parents to do so, by law. Yet they also try to undermine women's right to choose abortion at every turn. That's just messed up. Safe haven laws are just about preventing dumpster babies because dumpster babies give cities and states a bad name, they aren't about actually wanting people to give up their babies. The myth that all abandoned children are adopted or adoptable is just that, a myth.

I believe that Nebraska showed us that it is far more humane to allow parents and guardians to give up before they burn out or become abusive. Children's rights groups fought the idea of Nebraska changing the law (which they did, because they were spending too much money on social services for unadoptable children left in their hospitals). I think that this woman acted in the spirit of the law. I also think that safe haven laws should apply to all minors, not just infants.

Original Post by trustwomen:

This woman abandoned her baby within the right time frame, at a hospital, and she is still risking prosecution? 

Leaving a baby unattended in a bathroom, even in a hospital, could result in harm.   (But no, I don't think she should be prosecuted.)

Is requiring a person to surrender the baby to a person, instead of just leaving it unattended somewhere, really all that "strict" or unreasonable?

I do agree that the scope of the whole situation is contradictory and hypocritical - this woman is being hunted down for her actions regarding an unwanted child, yet availability of abortion, contraceptives, and overall sex education is being consistently undermined. 

Original Post by trustwomen:

Do you all remember the Nebraska safe haven "scandal" from last fall? That showed the whole country, in my opinion, how desperate people can get and how strict the safe-haven laws really are. This woman abandoned her baby within the right time frame, at a hospital, and she is still risking prosecution? The bit about medical history is BS - no safe haven law requires parents to inform about medical history.The real point is that society doesn't want to take care of unwanted children, it wants to force parents to do so, by law. Yet they also try to undermine women's right to choose abortion at every turn. That's just messed up. Safe haven laws are just about preventing dumpster babies because dumpster babies give cities and states a bad name, they aren't about actually wanting people to give up their babies. The myth that all abandoned children are adopted or adoptable is just that, a myth.

I believe that Nebraska showed us that it is far more humane to allow parents and guardians to give up before they burn out or become abusive. Children's rights groups fought the idea of Nebraska changing the law (which they did, because they were spending too much money on social services for unadoptable children left in their hospitals). I think that this woman acted in the spirit of the law. I also think that safe haven laws should apply to all minors, not just infants.

 Didn't Nebraska have a problem with people leaving their teenagers?

Original Post by jeffmidguard:

 Didn't Nebraska have a problem with people leaving their teenagers?

Exactly. But it's better to do that than to abuse or neglect your teenager. The fact that people drove from other states to leave their kids in Nebraska just shows how desperate they were.

Original Post by thmheh:

Mother abandons baby in hospital sink

So the next case of a dead baby in a dumpster, the blame should be placed directly on whomevers decision it was to publicize this.   

I completely disagree.  There is a certain amount of responsibility that everyone must take for themselves.  Being in a desperate situation does not excuse breaking the law. 

I am the mother of an adopted Chinese girl who was found abandoned about 5 days old (they think based on umbilical cord) at a bus station on a cold January day. Now the people who abandoned her know that the police would look there BUT my daughter's parents were subject to execution by giving up their child.  I can only surmise the desperation that her parents had to let her go and the damage it has caused my daughter. 

When I hear about abandonments in the USA I pray that we can make it more human for both the mothers and the children. I can only imagine the pain involved in giving up your child - but it is at least self-aware thing to do if you KNOW that you can not take care of this baby and you want something better than you can give. 

My daughter's parents had no way of knowing that she would land up in the USA but I do believe that they wanted something better for her and also, themselves...

i doubt very much that this woman will be prosecuted.  but i agree with santo that leaving the child in a public washroom was NOT consistent with the principles of safe haven.  anyone could have found that child; it's sheer luck that it was a member of the hospital staff and not some random loiterer.

sure, it's better than leaving the baby in a dumpster.  but there are plenty of options that aren't that.

Original Post by laura42:

Original Post by thmheh:

Mother abandons baby in hospital sink

So the next case of a dead baby in a dumpster, the blame should be placed directly on whomevers decision it was to publicize this.   

I completely disagree.  There is a certain amount of responsibility that everyone must take for themselves.  Being in a desperate situation does not excuse breaking the law. 

 "Be accountable!" I'd like to scream that at people due to them neglecting to assume responsibility. Seriously. The mother shouldn't be patted on the back as an A for effort,imho. I say she doesn't deserve kudos or props for greatness for putting a baby at risk. Just because sink trumps dumpster doesn't make it right. It's disturbing.  She couldn't even hand her baby over to someone of authority to ensure it's safty? That's enough reason for her face to be smeared on papers and her name tarnished. She's selfish. She should've thought about poor publicity and her reputation prior. Stories like this may cause other women  to do it the right way. Sometimes fear is the only thing that causes people to do what's honorable. They may want to keep the matter on the down low so do things properly. It's a lesson learnt to some before having to go through the process. Should she be held accountable for her actions? Yes.

I think everyone should be held accountable for their actions. I am so tired of hearing people blame their choices on the media or others. No. Anyone that decides to leave their child in a dumpster/sink/ toilet, ect DID it themselves. It's their fault. Their blame. Their choice.

I have a friend who's circumstances were completely out of her control. However, she did what was right by her newborn. She did. It caused her so much emotional pain. The whole situation was so horrible, but she carried the baby. This girl was only 12 years old and it wasn't her fault in any way. She had nobody and nobody believed her ' stories ' until she became pregnant. At which time it was too late she was carrying a baby. She'd lie and tell people it was her boyfriends because the truth was so horrible.The truth was she didn't even have a boyfriend. She'd never had one and wasn't allowed. She ended up in DHS custody. Her mother wouldn't leave her abusive father. Her mother disowned her even though the proof was now there...This girl still did what was right though. 

She said " I can't raise this baby, but it deserves a life. If this baby hadn't happened, I wouldn't be free now." Free meaning being taken away from her own parents. Away from a father that had abused her for years. That's heartbreaking. She said " This baby has saved me so I'm going to keep it safe. I'll give it to someone to that will keep it safe and love it."

 I never judge girls that have bad circumstances. I've known some kids with real struggle.  ( I worked at a hope house. ) Some people thought this was just another promiscuous girl...looking for love. She had tried to tell countlessly of her abuse. She had been accused of lying and there was no proof. Not until she became pregnant at 12 years old. Yet... She told. She thought she might be and was only a scared little girl... Yet... told and did the right thing. Her baby didn't go in a sink, toilet, or dumpster. It's a choice. I've witnessed better choices made by children.

What's really needed is free prenatal and post natal care for every pregnant woman.  If this woman's pregnancy had been followed she would have been able to talk to someone about not being able (or perhaps willing?) to care for her baby.  She would have been in a better position to make a decision about adoption, and would have received counseling about birth control options for the future.

As usual, the good old USA throws the money at the wrong end of the problem

And yes, I do mean socialized medicine, like the rest of the civilized world has.

There are low income free prenatal/post natal care programs in the USA for women,btw. At least I know that there is one in Oklahoma. I hear people complain about it all the time. " My tax dollars paying for blah " - sighs- It's important. I agree. This is America not some third world country. We shouldn't turn someone away that needs medical attention. I just feel like our country should create ways to make things work. It just seems so unhumane to me for people to go without treatment.

Glad the baby was found safe and well and I hope that the mother is well because often (here anyway) abandoned babies usually = medically unassisted births and all attempts are made to find the mother to ensure that she is well and not herself in need of medical help.

German Hospital Installs Innovative "Deposit Cradle" For Unwanted Babies

This seems like a possible solution.

Original Post by trustwomen:

Original Post by jeffmidguard:

 Didn't Nebraska have a problem with people leaving their teenagers?

Exactly. But it's better to do that than to abuse or neglect your teenager. The fact that people drove from other states to leave their kids in Nebraska just shows how desperate they were.

 I would consider it abusive and neglectful to give your child away after you have cared for them for years.  It's hard to believe people think children are disposable.  I can just imagine how I would've felt as a teenager, to be unwanted by the people or person that is supposed to love me most in the world.  That is heart-breaking.

Original Post by clairelaine:

What's really needed is free prenatal and post natal care for every pregnant woman.  If this woman's pregnancy had been followed she would have been able to talk to someone about not being able (or perhaps willing?) to care for her baby.  She would have been in a better position to make a decision about adoption, and would have received counseling about birth control options for the future.

As usual, the good old USA throws the money at the wrong end of the problem

And yes, I do mean socialized medicine, like the rest of the civilized world has.

 Isn't that part of what planned parenthood is supposed to be for?  Or do they only test for pregnancy and offer abortion?  I'm genuinely wondering, I don't actually know and I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

Original Post by laniemox:

Original Post by clairelaine:

What's really needed is free prenatal and post natal care for every pregnant woman.  If this woman's pregnancy had been followed she would have been able to talk to someone about not being able (or perhaps willing?) to care for her baby.  She would have been in a better position to make a decision about adoption, and would have received counseling about birth control options for the future.

As usual, the good old USA throws the money at the wrong end of the problem

And yes, I do mean socialized medicine, like the rest of the civilized world has.

 Isn't that part of what planned parenthood is supposed to be for?  Or do they only test for pregnancy and offer abortion?  I'm genuinely wondering, I don't actually know and I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

No group offers free prenatal and post natal care for pregnant women, with the exception of some states which have programs but only for the poorest and you have to qualify for it.

Planned Parenthood definitely can hook you up with an adoption service, as well as contraception and sometimes abortion (most PP sites don't provide abortions) but they have many many restrictions on their funding, thanks to the republicans. Preventing unwanted pregnancies is definitely a way to help this problem, but it won't fix it all. Family planning dollars have been mostly slashed in the past decade. But especially with a slumping economy, there is a higher risk that formerly wanted children will become an unbearable burden on their parents, and I feel it's important to give parents an option to relinquish them safely and without prosecution - at any age. I feel it would prevent a lot of child abuse.

Original Post by trustwomen:

Original Post by laniemox:

Original Post by clairelaine:

What's really needed is free prenatal and post natal care for every pregnant woman.  If this woman's pregnancy had been followed she would have been able to talk to someone about not being able (or perhaps willing?) to care for her baby.  She would have been in a better position to make a decision about adoption, and would have received counseling about birth control options for the future.

As usual, the good old USA throws the money at the wrong end of the problem

And yes, I do mean socialized medicine, like the rest of the civilized world has.

 Isn't that part of what planned parenthood is supposed to be for?  Or do they only test for pregnancy and offer abortion?  I'm genuinely wondering, I don't actually know and I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

No group offers free prenatal and post natal care for pregnant women, with the exception of some states which have programs but only for the poorest and you have to qualify for it.

Planned Parenthood definitely can hook you up with an adoption service, as well as contraception and sometimes abortion (most PP sites don't provide abortions) but they have many many restrictions on their funding, thanks to the republicans. Preventing unwanted pregnancies is definitely a way to help this problem, but it won't fix it all. Family planning dollars have been mostly slashed in the past decade. But especially with a slumping economy, there is a higher risk that formerly wanted children will become an unbearable burden on their parents, and I feel it's important to give parents an option to relinquish them safely and without prosecution - at any age. I feel it would prevent a lot of child abuse.

   I agree. It's in the best interest of the child as well as the parent sometimes. There are circumstances that make it the best case scenario for both.However, there are ways to go about relinquishing your rights as a parent. The problem is people don't want to put forth the effort to do it, imho. That's the reason prosecution comes into play. Not for the action... For going about it incorrectly.

Example: The woman that left her newborn in the sink. All she had to have done was go about the process correctly. There is a system already in place she could've easily followed. 

There are options to do exactly as they want and you suggest. Options are available to do so. Some people still make dangerous choices.  Choices that put their children up to risk. Instead of just taking the proper course being accountable during the process.

It's difficult to be accountable for our choices. It's easier to leave a newborn in a sink in an empty bathroom. There's nobody there to give you a questionable glance. " are you sure " o_O ect.  The sink doesn't cast silent judgements, while going through the process.