Time taken for weight loss affects weight gain?

I was just wondering, as a recovering anorexic that's been on here for quite a while here now, I know a lot of the ED Sufferers were suffering and losing weight over quite long periods of time... e.g. they've had their ED for years and got to such a low bmi over a several years of suffering. With me however it started in April but the actual weight loss was basically entirely over the summer holidays and maybe slightly after, so affectively I lost around 2 and a half stone in a couple of months.

So does anyone know if it really makes a difference how quickly you LOST the weight in the first place, in relation to how quickly you'll GAIN the weight back? Or does it affect anything else? Like is it worse for your body if you lost it over a long period of time or a short?

Sorry if it sounds silly but I just thought it was a question I wanted to ask :) x

No. It doesn't. What time does affect is how long you were malnourished. Things like hair loss, and recovering in your body... those're affected by the state of your body a few months previous. But not the loss itself.

I really think you need to go and be honest with talking to your doctor about this, now, Dolly. You've been struggling a lot lately and I think it might be wise for you to consider day or inpatient. Not saying this to scare you, but all the symptoms you've been describing lately... I've really been worried about you.

That will probably be why my hair's falling out NOW, as my worst height of starvation was a few months ago now. So I guess it's my body's way of showing how malnourished it was. It's funny how you feel so fine and normal at the time ...but it all comes back to haunt you. I'm beginning to realise just how much damage i did, simply by reducing what I ate for a few months and exercising a bit too much, and it's scary how easily this could happen to anyone.

I don't even think there IS an inpatient/recovery centre in my area...Or wait, is IP like just at the hospital? I'm not very clued up on that sort of thing ><

I'm going to see how I do over this Christmas period. If my doctor seemed quite happy for me to continue the way I am, even though she didn't admittedly know the FULL extent of everything, I think I should be okay, but if I continue to not gain anything I will seriously do something. Like even if it's just upping to 4000 cals or something! I don't know, I guess I'll just see.

Everyone's being so supportive on here and the blogs etc and I really appreciate you all.

Dolly, I've been reading your posts for a couple of months now and am growing increasingly concerned. There always seems to be an excuse as to why you are not able to take action and I don't think you realize how serious this disease is. The matter as to whether or not there is a local IP clinic is irrelevant. You may simply need to be hospitalized in order to save your life. There is also the possibility of going elsewhere for treatment. I relocated to another state to undergo residential. The symptoms you are presently describing mirror my own just before I went into multiple organ failure and was placed in intensive care in a semi-coma, not expected to make it through the night. Christmas happens every year, but the world would at a loss without Maria.

I would take half hour train journeys to see my therapist and occasionally still do, because that's the nearest place to me. It's necessity, not inconvenience.

The longer you put it off the greater the danger becomes. I can only echo charlie; Christmas happens every year, but the world would at a loss without Maria.

You are irreplacable.

Thanks guys :')

I don't know why it happens...but my brain always seems to think of an excuse instantly, like a mechanical reaction :s It's just, I don't SEE the dangers, like physically SEE them, I can't see my body being destroyed. OK, so I look ill and underweight, but I just wish I could physically see/have proof of all the damage I've done to my organs etc. I'm so scared. Of eating. And of dying. It's kinda funny how one will help prevent the other. But I'm doing much better, and I'm getting the hang of mechanical eating more. I just need to stop this whole idea of "i'll save the calories to have later" and then not bothering to make up for the cals later on, if you get me?

I know you need and want to stop, but you say that - now, will you? Your weight is so low that I think you're honestly beyond a point of getting this all done yourself. You need to go talk to someone, because the danger is there. Please, Dolly.

Why do individuals with anorexia die? A case of sudden death

Hi Maria,

I read through the “ what did YOU eat today” page because I have recovered from anorexia and want to make a career out of helping people push through food issues as well as address their physical needs as a personal trainer

I read the page some times to get a feel of what you have to go through to recover

I want you to know that you come across as a very strong girl, that has the strength to recover but is not willing to accept recovery yet.

You sound like you WANT to recover.. Wait.. I KNOW you want to recover, but the anorexia sounds a little stronger then your good intentions.

To be blunt, it is actually annoying when I read your posts some times because you are such a low weight and you talk and talk and talk about how much you want to gain and you tell other people how important it is to eat enough, yet your posts show that you fall short yourself…

It just sounds like there is a part of yourself that is keeping you from doing what you need to do, which is frustrating to read.

It sounds like your subconscious mind is preventing you from eating enough to gain weight, and it does not sound like a force that you can challenge on your own at this point.

Maria - you are at a stage where you NEED to gain weight NOW; so unless you eat 3000 or more calories a day starting from NOW, then you may need help to save your life.

From everything I have read on anorexia it actually sounds like you need 3500 - 4000 just to restore your health at this point.

Think about it, what is stopping you from doing it right NOW; it is certainly not your determination, so it must be another part of you that you cannot control at this point.

Original Post by lalabanana:

I know you need and want to stop, but you say that - now, will you? Your weight is so low that I think you're honestly beyond a point of getting this all done yourself. You need to go talk to someone, because the danger is there. Please, Dolly.

Why do individuals with anorexia die? A case of sudden death

 Dolly, hon, Ellie's right.  Your weight is so low that I fear your mind is simply not able to look at the situation objectively and rationally.  You're not fully believing that you're in danger, and you are.  You are.  Please speak to somebody; tell your doctor the full story.  I strongly suggest that you go IP until you're at a point where you're able to take over the reins yourself. 

You're not less strong, or a failure if you need extra help to beat ED.  None of us can go it alone, and everyone's path back to health and happiness has different hurdles.  Please, please don't be afraid to accept extra help with yours.

Mel. xox

Personaltrainer - I think you've hit the nail on the head - it IS something in my subconscious mind, I can sort of see it now...

Well these posts have given me a kick up my boney ass. Trust me. Today ED has hardly reared its head at all :) I made cookies with real butter and sugar and floud and ate them! Being home alone off school is a good oppurtunity to eat. (i.e. I get bored and try procrastinating from my english essays!)
Last night I had a bad run-in with my mum :/ She's really confusing and harsh but not in the normal way you'd expect someone whose daughter is a recovering anorexic...in a messed up way, like she think she knows what's best etc...When she doesn't. I mean, c'mon, she thought the reason for my ED was because i was 'copying cassie off skins'. WTF?

But never mind that, I reckon each of my cookies should be at least 300 cals cos i used real butter and stuff? I didn't really measure ingredients, just had a bunch of flour and oats and then added chunks of butter and milk until it stuck together properly. Major ff overcoming there right? :)

It's good, I guess, but you didn't measure. You didn't measure, and you have a mind that is out to sabotage you. You may have underestimated your measures, thus, your calories. It's still great you ate them, but... honey, a few cookies won't reverse this. You need to talk to your doctor.

Dolly congrats on the cookies :) That's great hun, really, and I hate to sound like I'm shooting you down but I absolutely from the bottom of my heart PROMISE you that looking at the size of them (on your blog) They are NO WAY 300 cals each. 150 MAX.

Have two. Have three. Hell have four. You need everything you can get.

Trust me, you've seen my meals this week. I just came back from the docs and I lost 1.5lbs (0.6kg) I feel ****. My mum is hurt and uspet. I'm feeling like a big fat failure. Or thin failure. I dunno.

I just had 2 slices cinnamon cake with jam for snack.

Take a lesson from me - make a plan, make it high cal, stick to it and for god's sake never ever think you're eating enough because you're not.

Sorry If I came across as harsh Maria - it is hard because you always sound so nice!

Your evil ED is just over powering your will to recover at the moment

Your ed MUST be strong, because you are very strong and I KNOW you are SO determined to recover!

An ed THAT strong needs more help then your determination to beat it.

Thank you everyone...

Last night my mum had a big argument with me and my brother again...It's getting too much for me to cope with. She's being so pissy, and I think she's suffering from depression but won't admit it, although she'll admit to her 'suicidal thoughts' in a sort of 'yeah your fault' kinda way, and be like 'no-one loves me" etc. I feel so guilty because of the 'funny looks' she gets when we're out together. All this is probably my fault. My unhappiness drove my mum into depression ? Probably. I feel like ****. I don't want to eat. My mum won't even let us eat in our rooms anymore, so goodbye night snack, I'll have to make up for the cals elsewhere </3 Because I need to keep out of her way at nighttimes, that's when these arguments start.

Anyway, that's offtopic I suppose, so I'll continue my thoughts on this topic.

Why does it take so long to gain when we can lose such a big amount of weight in such a short space of time? :/

i'm sorry you had a row with your mum :( i had some of the worst rows ever with mine due to ED. she's been on anti depressants for 2 years because of everything i put her through, and at one point she was having suicidal thoughts and panic attacks... looking back i can see why but at the time i was just angry and absorbed in starving myself.

dolly do you see how ED has jumped in at a vulnerable moment here and used it as an excuse not to eat? 'goodbye night snack.' right now, and i know this sounds harsh, i don't CARE if you're having rows with your mum if it means you're not going to eat. you NEED to eat that night snack and it NEEDS to be big. you can keep out of your mum's way at night by eating in a different room to her - i'm sure you have more than one room downstairs right? eat sitting on the loo if that's neccessary, but just eat.

i can't stress this enough. dolly you are going to die if you don't do something. i know you don't believe it but it's so heartbreaking watching ED manipulate you the same way it does me... do you know what happened to me when i was at 2 points below your BMI? i didnt listen to my friends and family, got up one night to shut my window (it was july. i was freezing) and collapsed. i spent the next 2 years as an inpatient in a specialist unit. i wish to GOD i'd done it at home because i lost all my friends, 2 years of my life, i was tube fed, nearly sectioned, medicated, restrained by medical teams, injected in my bum...

you have a choice. you might think you have all the time in the world but your tiny little body can only hold out for so long. it's a matter of weeks, dolly, to get SOME SORT OF WEIGHT on you or you WILL collapse.

everything else is secondary right now. you better reach 2500 today girl.

and in answer to your question: because you're not eating enough. you were eating little enough to lose that quickly and now you're not eating enough to gain it back. i'm sure overweight people ask the reverse question.

Mashed is right. Row or no, bad mood or no, not eating is out of the question. Why do you have to eat in your bedroom? You can still have your nighttime snack, even if it means not having it in your room. I also know how tempremental parents can be and she may lift that rule once the row blows over. I am sorry you fought and I'm sorry your mum is unhappy, but you have to push through it. Be good to her today and be supportive. Suicidal thoughts, whether empty threats or no, are as serious as your own condition right now.

Mashed also answered your question. You're not gaining because you're not eating enough to gain. And you know how to cure that.

look, i prob have no right to post here.... but i have been watching this post for a while. and to be totally honest I think you are totally in denial about your disorder and i dont think you really want to confront it. its great that you realise you have certain thought patterns but to be honest i think it is startin to get on people's nerves that you are posting your distress but unwilling to change it.

i attend an aftercare group for my ED and there is a girl there who will tell you all the behaviours and identify all of the patterns but will not change it. it is clearly upsetting for people in a similar situation to you, to hear your enthusiasm for life but to me it all sounds fake. i can hear the excuses, trying to divert off topic, trying to do anything except WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

if i call my psychologist and tell him i feel really bad, the whole situation that has triggered me to think to react abnormally, i have to accept the advice he gives me. i have to follow it. if i say "look thanks for your help, but i think im going to hurt myself anyway"-he'l tell me to get stuffed so.

you run the risk of that with many people. we all know the block in your mind, the fear. but you know ENOUGH EXCUSES. the definition of crazy is doing th same thing over and over and expecting different results..... change the record and try a new road. stop bullsh*tn yourself and put an honest effort in.

sorry to be harsh sounding-dont mean to be but i am being honest

Fidget - I take your point but equally it's important not to all jump on her (aside from the fact she's quite fragile and might get squished easily)

Random but did/does anyone ever encounter the problem of worrying (pre-recovery) that if you got better 'too fast' or 'too easily' you would have somehow failed? I used to worry about that a lot - I was convinced if I let myself try that I would suddenly find it way too easy and 'lose' my eating disorder faster than I wanted to.

Just wanted to put that out there, in case it's ever been a fear for anyone else.

And to reassure anyone who has had that fear, that once I started to *actually* try to recover on my own (around the same time I joined CC)... I suddenly realised it was a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be, and in a funny way that gave me all the more strength, because I realised I DO have a big psychological problem/block/issue here, and that it is going to take work to overcome it and I'm not just going to go back to my pre-ED overweightness because I actually have an illness that will take time to recover from...

OK I'm totally off topic but hey, anyone else? lol!

The problem is, when your in the grips of ED your malnourished brain + addiction to ED make it virtually impossible to really think for yourself and change.  That's why IP they just refeed you often before they can even START to retrain your thinking.  You have to force yourself to act on your recovery before you can feel right doing it. 

ED will let you plan it and get psyched up all you want--just as long as you don't really kick him out.  Oh, and that demon loves token victories.  take it from someone who spent forever charting her "victories" without doing the real lifestyle changes it would take to truly leave the ED life--and long term consequences of that living death.

Eeek don't squash me D:
Lol kidding :')

You're right, it's ED talkin again. He talks a lot in my head...It's not easy, right now I'm freaking out because my mum's making me eat this big aubergine madras dinner thingas well as having beans on toast later on with my friends and loads of snacks that she bought for us to have  like crisps, cakes choclate etc. I'll survive today though, I have amazing support on my side. If I get too worked up I know you're just a text away mashed :) <3

I'm so sorry that happened to you - collapsing, IP etc :( It sounds awful and you never ever deserved to go through that honey.

I'm going to reach 2500 today. I don't care how, I will.

Ellie yeah you're right, I'm NOT eating enough, but I have the tools (your blog) to help me now and I'm sure I can get myself properly up to it in no time!

Fidget look, any advice is appreciated, I know you're harsh but I need harshness I suppose. However I genuinely believe I am strong enough to beat this without going to a clinic or a psychologist...I just need consistancy. I have been beating hundreds of fearfoods etc and eating like normally really somedays. So i just need to build this up to MOST days. In fact ALL Days.

Mashed yep that's how I feel/well I felt it mostly at the beginning of recovery...Like i wnated to 'savour' it because i didn't want to get any bad habits that would make me gain weight once i'd reached my GW. I didn't want to 'lose' my eating disorder because it was a way of disciplining myself, if you kno what i mean?

my nurse always says to me that one of the main reasons she encounters for people clinging on to their EDs is because being underweight is the only way they feel they have 'permission' to eat.

i reckon we conquer that, we conquer ED.